So Sinful

**anonymous** · 07-18-2009

Asalamualikum.

I came home from work today and I cried and cried, because I felt like I finally woke up. I was so deep in sin and didnt realise how I let myself get here. I set out to help my parents financially and fell into chasing a career and wanting to be the best.

As a girl who had made a decision to gaurd herself, I've slowly fallen into wearing less loose clothing, to achieve a more professional look. I began delaying Dhur prayers and missing Fajr. I had to free mix with men and engage in small talk and their jokes. I started lying to stop them asking me uncomfortable questions. I dont know what else Ive done and how far this has gone.

I have no desire to continue this career, I only want to support my parents and with my education this is the only Job I can go into which has alot of money in it. They supported me in my education and now I have to repay them.they will be so disappointed if I give up now. I only want to work until i have paid their debts. Then I have no desire for wealth or a career, I want to return to the path of Allah swt, the path of internal contentment and peace.

**Layla454** · 07-19-2009

Seek Allah's forgiveness because he is full of Mercy Alhamdulilah. You're trying to help your parents which is good insha Allah but you also need to know your boundaries. Take it upon yourself to make a change

**IbnAbdulHakim** · 07-19-2009

so turn away form your former lifestyle - Allah replaces every sacrifice with something better <-- BELIEVE THIS and i promise you - you'll have your peace...

Assalamu Alaikum

**- IqRa -** · 07-20-2009

^ Easier said than done, she said thats the only job she can do.

**qarasz** · 07-20-2009

Asssalamu allikum

Allham dullilah...

its good to hear....., u had made a action to be close to allah &
Allah will come close to you Inshallah.

Allah most merciful & forgiving and he always keep opned his doors.

Allah creator of Heaven & Eart And Quran.

So make your prayers & deeds(mental&physical) in waystisfaying him.

DONT MISS ANY ACT PLEASING ALLAH, IF YOU HEAR CALL FOR NAMAZ,
BE QUICK FOR IT.....BECS IF WE COMPRAMISE/RELAX ANY RULE IN ISLAM
IT TAKE TIME REGAIN OUR IMAAN

bARAK aLLAH fEEK

CHOOSE GOOD JOB WITHOUT COMPRAMISING VALUES OF ISLAM/
IF U DIDNT GET MAINTAIN YOUR PATIENCE ALLAH SURELY WILL SHOW WAY FOR YOU

JAZAK ALLAH GHAIR

**alcurad** · 07-20-2009

but, can't you be practicing & work at the same time?
I mean yah, jobs are quite stressful at least once in a while, but it's to support your parents right?
and as for clothing and small talk, I can't make a judgment, but if it's just that, then it's not too hard, as for prayers, ask your boss for 5 minutes or so or something like that, think it could be worked out some way or the other.

Glad to hear you're practicing more mashallah, keep it up

**IbnAbdulHakim** · 07-20-2009

Originally Posted by T.I.A

^ Easier said than done, she said thats the only job she can do.

i dont believe that for a second

**ahmed_indian** · 07-20-2009

mashallah sister for ur faith. keep praying to Allah to open a way for you to earn money where you dont have to disobey Him.

and yes, keep searching for better job. sometimes we think that there's no other way, but they are there actually. ask ur frnds, relatives, etc.

may Allah help u.

**AlbanianMuslim** · 07-20-2009

Sister

CHANGE! you can do it! And there are LAWS that will protect you in case you are harassed or fired or treated unfairly at work because of your religion.

My cousins wife works at a lab in a hospital. She is covered and the people there took some time to get used to it but eventually everyone was respectful and she still achieved a professional career.

There is always a solution sister! remember that. Inshallah God will guide you.
Speak to your employer about the fact that you want to make some changes and that you are letting him/her know in advance.

**anonymous** · 07-21-2009

JazakAllah for the replies guys, they have really motivated me to change my ways. I will be finishing work in about 2 weeks time inshAllah. I do not plan on going back there... but I have not fully qualified yet, once I qualify inshAllah I will be stronger in my deen and not let people influence me. I dont want to make excuses for my behaviour, but there really is limited flexibility in the type of work I can go into once Ive qualified.