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Can't cope anymore :(

  1. #1
    AnonymousPoster's Avatar Full Member
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    Unhappy Can't cope anymore :(

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    Where do I even start. I'm fed up of life, everyday has become a struggle. I'm a complete failure to my familys eyes. I can't even face my parents, my brothers have done well so far and I feel I'm held at the back. Whenever something good turns out for me, it gets thrown back in my face. I make dua/pray to Allah(SWT) everyday even crying to him. However everyday keeps getting worse.. I'm even contemplating suicide but whenever I come round to it I don't even think what my family would think, I think about what would Allah think and what he would do if I do this. My friends have achieved much more than me while I'm walking in their shadow.

    I really can't cope anymore, my imaan has just crumbled into pieces. I failed most of my life so far so what's the point of living? Sometimes I say to Allah take my life away. I can't sleep, my skin has gone pale, and I've lost my appetite. Even my father thinks I'm a failure, whenever I want to prove I'm not it never works for me.

    Please help someone..
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    'Abd-al Latif's Avatar Super Moderator
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    Re: Can't cope anymore :(

    The Prophet said: "The greatest reward comes with the greatest trial. When Allaah loves a people He tests them. Whoever accepts that wins His pleasure but whoever is discontent with that earns His wrath." Narrated by al-Tirmidhi (2396) and Ibn Maajah (4031); classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi.
    Can't cope anymore :(

    And verily for everything that a slave loses there is a substitute, but the one who loses Allah will never find anything to replace Him.”
    [Related by Ibn al-Qayyim in ad-Dâ' wad-Dawâ Fasl 49]


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    Re: Can't cope anymore :(

    I think you should stop comparing yourself with your mates - its not healthy - we all are different and achieve different things in life. You may have accomplished something they havent.

    Firstly, dont lose hope in Allah - keep making dua - keep up with salaat and be patient. (this will help you trust me)
    Secondly, if you walk towards Allah, then Allah will run to you - your duas will be accepted Inshallah - we all go through tests in life - maybe this is a test for you now.

    Thirdly, you need to start looking to the future and forget whats happened in the past - you have to try pick yourself up.

    Finally - committing suicide is the worse thing you can do and its a selfish way out. This will destroy your friends and family and people close to you. Worst of all, you will never go to Jannat. (And this is everyones first objective in life)

    Things will pick up for you - Inshallah keep making dua.
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    Re: Can't cope anymore :(

    There are many muslims who have similar stories. If you look into the advice & support section of islamicboard.com you will see that every week or so someone comes up saying a story almost identical to yours. Many young people go through what you are going through now.

    What I find sad is we never hear back what happened with them. Did they read the responsse they got? Were they useful to them? Are they doing better?

    I don't know if you will do the same thing. I suggest you read this section carefully. Read previous stories similar to yours and pretend that the advice was given to you. There's lots of wisdom given, but requires a bit of listening skills, and actually practicing what you have been adviced.

    Good luck.
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    Re: Can't cope anymore :(

    ^^ great advice and insight!

    When I was at my lowest low January this year, one of the best thing I ever did was browsing the advice&support section of this forum, reading countless advice for many similar problems that I faced.
    Apart from the plenty of great advice that I implemented, reading other people's problems also gave me some perspectives, and I realized that my problems may not have been as bad as I felt they were, and that many other people also had to deal with worse situation.
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    Re: Can't cope anymore :(

    format_quote Originally Posted by AnonymousGender View Post
    I think you should stop comparing yourself with your mates - its not healthy - we all are different and achieve different things in life. You may have accomplished something they havent.

    Firstly, dont lose hope in Allah - keep making dua - keep up with salaat and be patient. (this will help you trust me)
    Secondly, if you walk towards Allah, then Allah will run to you - your duas will be accepted Inshallah - we all go through tests in life - maybe this is a test for you now.

    Thirdly, you need to start looking to the future and forget whats happened in the past - you have to try pick yourself up.

    Finally - committing suicide is the worse thing you can do and its a selfish way out. This will destroy your friends and family and people close to you. Worst of all, you will never go to Jannat. (And this is everyones first objective in life)

    Things will pick up for you - Inshallah keep making dua.


    Dear brother , I'm amazed by this post .

    In the first you show a desesperate man and in the second , you take good words and concils . JazakAllahou bi khayr for that .

    The muslim is between hope and fear and it happens to you wich it happens to all muslims .

    May Allah gives you peace in the heart .

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    Re: Can't cope anymore :(

    ^^^ those anonymousgender are two DIFFERENT posters.

    anyone who logs in anonymously will be assigned "anonymousgender"
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    Re: Can't cope anymore :(

    salams i think wat we need is to see what other ppl are going thru in this world if we only take out time to compare our lives with less fortunate ppl around us it makes us more thankful to Allah. something to think about.
    Can't cope anymore :(

    2j4akqt 1 - Can't cope anymore :(

    IB Arabic Writing Contest prize signature !! !!
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    Re: Can't cope anymore :(

    format_quote Originally Posted by AnonymousGender View Post


    Where do I even start. I'm fed up of life, everyday has become a struggle. I'm a complete failure to my familys eyes. I can't even face my parents, my brothers have done well so far and I feel I'm held at the back. Whenever something good turns out for me, it gets thrown back in my face. I make dua/pray to Allah(SWT) everyday even crying to him. However everyday keeps getting worse.. I'm even contemplating suicide but whenever I come round to it I don't even think what my family would think, I think about what would Allah think and what he would do if I do this. My friends have achieved much more than me while I'm walking in their shadow.

    I really can't cope anymore, my imaan has just crumbled into pieces. I failed most of my life so far so what's the point of living? Sometimes I say to Allah take my life away. I can't sleep, my skin has gone pale, and I've lost my appetite. Even my father thinks I'm a failure, whenever I want to prove I'm not it never works for me.

    Please help someone..
    Bro/Sis, I cant count how many times I've felt like that, you just feel that death is the easy way out.

    If you have failed in dunya terms, then think nothing of it, you've completely forgotten your purpose in this dunya, you aren't here to compete with friends or family in wordly success. I know how bad it can feel when you're left behind and everyone is succeeding in dunya, but remember this your success in dunya means nothing in the akhira. Its all about your deeds, your imaan, closeness to Allah.

    If you've failed in terms of deen, then remember Allah is merciful. This deen is all that matters in this dunya, you have to pass this trial. Do not fail this, you're still alive so fix it and make the most of the time you have. Don't worry about others, just focus on yourself.

    Family pressure just tops everything up and makes everything much worser, you're gonna have to take it in until you can do something about it. I remember how my mum used to make me feel like a burden upon her because I couldn't get a part-time job and support myself let alone her, but now I have one she doesn't say a word.

    If you're doing good in deen and everything, than dont think you're unsuccessful because of failure in dunya, because Allah has his reasons for making some people successful in dunya and others not whether or not theyre pious. Those friends you see may be hopeless in the akhira, so dont come to conclusions.

    Dont give up on doing dua to Allah, because he is your only hope, everything is coming from Allah

    Remember you don't have a choice, you cant commit suicide or you're screwed in the akhira which is infinite times worse.
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    cat eyes's Avatar Full Member
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    Re: Can't cope anymore :(

    why would you care about what your friends are achieving?. You can also achieve higher, anybody can but why would you even care. Are you forgetting Allah is most powerful?.. Why are you caring about these worldly things people are geting the best of! Make jannah your one true goal. Go to mosque meet new people and learn from them! I did!
    Can't cope anymore :(

    ae8iug 1 - Can't cope anymore :(


    wwwislamicboardcom - Can't cope anymore :(
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    quietguy's Avatar Limited Member
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    Re: Can't cope anymore :(

    NO NO NO! I love you and I am here. Allah is here. He hears your cries! Don't you ever give up, do you understand? Please go easy on yourself and understand that Allah has blessed you in different ways than your brother and friends.
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    Imraan's Avatar Full Member
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    Re: Can't cope anymore :(

    format_quote Originally Posted by AnonymousPoster View Post


    Where do I even start. I'm fed up of life, everyday has become a struggle. I'm a complete failure to my familys eyes. I can't even face my parents, my brothers have done well so far and I feel I'm held at the back. Whenever something good turns out for me, it gets thrown back in my face. I make dua/pray to Allah(SWT) everyday even crying to him. However everyday keeps getting worse.. I'm even contemplating suicide but whenever I come round to it I don't even think what my family would think, I think about what would Allah think and what he would do if I do this. My friends have achieved much more than me while I'm walking in their shadow.

    I really can't cope anymore, my imaan has just crumbled into pieces. I failed most of my life so far so what's the point of living? Sometimes I say to Allah take my life away. I can't sleep, my skin has gone pale, and I've lost my appetite. Even my father thinks I'm a failure, whenever I want to prove I'm not it never works for me.

    Please help someone..
    Salaam brother...have you read what i've been going through the past few years????????? i'm still goin through it!

    i would like to trade with you.... you take on repeated criminal damage, intimidation, lack of police support, deprived of your child, seeing myself and family members persecuted and disrespected in the community..... if you had the chance, would you trade...i have a good job, everyday im tempted to stoop to their levels... if i do, goodbye job, goodbye career, goodbye family, goodbye freedom, i'll be in jail.. instead for now everytime i go to see my daughter my house windows are smashed all the while a chunk of my salary goes towards my little girl's mother, to top it off i've been furloughed off... no job, just on payroll waiting to see if government will pay our 80% salaries out.... i force myself to say Alhamdulillah, im ashamed, deep down inside me im discontent... i didnt want life to be like this, yet i still have to live it either way... catch 22

    read my post about my marriage.... going back some five or six years ago, the downturn started within first months of my marriage.... my outlook on society and life was so different then... i wish it didnt change and i wish i never got married to that girl.

    remember me in your prayers brother.... trust me... theres people in situations far worse than not meeting the expectations of others.....

    you just havent found your path to success yet... maybe you've still yet to discover it....

    i come from a deprived background... later doors opened... it was 'ok' alhamdulillah, i was able to save some money with off course many sacrifices and not the latest gadgets and clothes, werent the best..... compared to others... compare now to 'back then'.... i'd love to go to 'back then' any day!
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    quietguy's Avatar Limited Member
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    Re: Can't cope anymore :(

    I'm so sorry for your hardship Imraan. You shouldn't be having to go through such pain, and no one should. I wish there was something I could do to help. Please know I love you and I'm making dua for you. Ameen. Please reach out if you need anything inshallah!
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    Re: Can't cope anymore :(

    format_quote Originally Posted by quietguy View Post
    I'm so sorry for your hardship Imraan. You shouldn't be having to go through such pain, and no one should. I wish there was something I could do to help. Please know I love you and I'm making dua for you. Ameen. Please reach out if you need anything inshallah!
    Jazak Allah for your prayers... especially tonight.... I will be praying hard for all oppressed, suffering and in need of allahs help.... insh Allah
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    Re: Can't cope anymore :(

    format_quote Originally Posted by AnonymousPoster View Post

    WS WR

    Where do I even start. I'm fed up of life, everyday has become a struggle. I'm a complete failure to my familys eyes. I can't even face my parents, my brothers have done well so far and I feel I'm held at the back. Whenever something good turns out for me, it gets thrown back in my face. I make dua/pray to Allah(SWT) everyday even crying to him. However everyday keeps getting worse.. I'm even contemplating suicide but whenever I come round to it I don't even think what my family would think, I think about what would Allah think and what he would do if I do this. My friends have achieved much more than me while I'm walking in their shadow.

    I really can't cope anymore, my imaan has just crumbled into pieces. I failed most of my life so far so what's the point of living? Sometimes I say to Allah take my life away. I can't sleep, my skin has gone pale, and I've lost my appetite. Even my father thinks I'm a failure, whenever I want to prove I'm not it never works for me.

    Please help someone..
    Any destruction of the past union
    resulted from their misconception

    Sane enough could they distinguish
    but greed would make the sane perish
    (Rumi)


    Why would you need to prosper like others?! Everyone is a different flower & not all flowers should smell the same!
    I think your father also wants you to prosper, not just achieve the success of your brothers& friends.
    Remember, if a fish expects to climb a tree, it will forever have the feeling of being a fool. So figure out at what aspect you are good, and try to improve at it. The only person you are supposed to compete against is You yourself.
    Last edited by soheil1; 04-08-2020 at 06:24 AM.
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    Re: Can't cope anymore :(

    WS do not give up,
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    quietguy's Avatar Limited Member
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    Re: Can't cope anymore :(

    format_quote Originally Posted by Imraan View Post
    Jazak Allah for your prayers... especially tonight.... I will be praying hard for all oppressed, suffering and in need of allahs help.... insh Allah

    Stay strong Imraan! I'm making dua for you
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