I'm talking about immediate family here. Everyone else is invited-people who are less related to them than me.
They never invite us but this year I thought they might invite us as I have changed a lot and become a fully practising muslim. I regularly visit them whenever.
What should I do? Should I go and visit them later in the day anyway?
Jazakallah khair
I'm talking about immediate family here. Everyone else is invited-people who are less related to them than me.
They never invite us but this year I thought they might invite us as I have changed a lot and become a fully practising muslim. I regularly visit them whenever.
What should I do? Should I go and visit them later in the day anyway?
Jazakallah khair
Perhaps they were waiting for you to invite them to your house for Eid. Sometimes we need to take the first step even with close relatives.
I can see no reason that later today you should not go to their house with a small gift and wish them eid Mubarak. Wish them well today and make Du'a that their Eid be a time of great blessing for them. Do not be concerned over if they ignored you, do not use that as an excuse to ignore them.
If you have relatives like i do, well i feel for you dear.
Ever since i was 7, around the time my father became a fully practicing muslim, thanksgiving, eid, new years eve etc all the holidays we used to all spend together are really now just my brothers and my parents and i and a few cousins that are religious as well.
We still visit the "other" relatives for eid and stuff like that even though they have failed to visit us even when there was a death in the family. My mothers first cousin died in an accident earlier this year, and not one of them came to give their condolences.
Needless to say, they have shown their true colors.
Sooner or later, people show who they really are.
You on the other hand, must withstand this "test" Thats how i see it. I look at the brighter side of it all.
Thanksgiving (today!! yay) is a lot more fun and blessed because there is NO ALCOHOL! or CIGARS!! I HATED when i was a little girl being in a house packed with all those relatives and having to smell beer and cigars thanks to the men.
Now that my father Alhamdullah became a fully practicing muslim he does not allow any of that around him. Some of my uncles however feel that their alcohol is more important than their oldest brother. Well thats on them, not my father.
Believe it or not my father saw a dream around the time that i was 7, we were living in Albania at the time. He saw a dream that a man was teaching him to pray and he had never felt as peaceful as he had then in that moment. From that moment on my father had to endure "friends" and relatives turning their backs on him because he was no longer "fitting in."
Anyway, long story short, stay strong. Be thankful for the ones who DO invite you. Who do bring you closer. As for the ones who dont? Visit them, respect them whether they deserve it or not. You will be strengthening your deen by continuing to respect everyone despite their treatment of you. Remember the Prophet pbuh. Remember what he had to endure.
well then i think you should invite them i don't know your relatives i only know my own so therefore i am not even going to judge or make assumptions about them. all of this is from the shaytan sister. you know my aunties are constantly backbiting about each other its just horrible. they talk about my family on our backs and say all sorts of stuff. but somehow try and avoid thinking bad or negative about your relatives. you know they are probably saying the same thing about your family and this is exactly what shaytan wants. avoid talking ill about somebody on there back sis especially if they are related to you. even if they are not good with your family, dose it make it right for us to judge them? no we have no right sis to open our mouths. i hope inshaAllah you will make the effort and invite them
stay strong. Be thankful for the ones who DO invite you. Who do bring you closer. As for the ones who dont? Visit them, respect them whether they deserve it or not. You will be strengthening your deen by continuing to respect everyone despite their treatment of you. Remember the Prophet pbuh. Remember what he had to endure.
Beautiful advice, my sister! I'd also echo Uncle Woodrow's advice, combined with bro Alpha Dude's, as to the actual visiting of your relatives for Eid.
I'm talking about immediate family here. Everyone else is invited-people who are less related to them than me.
They never invite us but this year I thought they might invite us as I have changed a lot and become a fully practising muslim. I regularly visit them whenever.
What should I do? Should I go and visit them later in the day anyway?
Jazakallah khair
Asalaamu Alaikum Wr Wb,
Praise be to Allaah.
Islam calls for the upholding of the ties of kinship because of the great effect that this has on achieving social cohesion and perpetuating cooperation and love among the Muslims. Upholding the ties of kinship is a duty because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“… and fear Allaah through Whom you demand your mutual (rights), and (do not cut the relations of ) the wombs (kinship)…” [al-Nisa’ 4:1]
“And give to the kindred his due and to the miskeen (poor)…” [al-Isra’ 17:26]
Allaah has warned us against cutting the ties of kinship (interpretation of the meaning):
“And those who break the Covenant of Allaah, after its ratification, and sever that which Allaah has commanded to be joined (i.e., they sever the bond of kinship and are not good to their relatives), and work mischief in the land, on them is the curse (i.e., they will be far away from Allaah’s Mercy); And for them is the unhappy (evil) home (i.e., Hell).” [al-Ra’d 13:26]
What punishment could be worse than the curse and the evil home that awaits those who sever the ties of kinship ? They deny themselves the reward for upholding the ties of kinship in the Hereafter, in addition to denying themselves much good in this world, which is a long life and ample provision. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever would like his rizq (provision) to be increased and his life to be extended, should uphold the ties of kinship.” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, 5986 and Muslim, 2557). Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘Allaah created the universe, and when He had finished, kinship (al-rahm) stood up and said, “This is the standing up of one who seeks Your protection from being cut off.” Allaah said, “Yes, would it please you if I were to take care of those who take care of you and cut off those who cut you off?” It said, “Of course.” Allaah said, “Then your prayer in granted.”’” The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “Recite, if you wish (interpretation of the meaning): ‘Would you then, if you were given the authority, do mischief in the land, and sever your ties of kinship? Such are they whom Allaah has cursed, so that He has made them deaf and blinded their sight.’ [Muhammad 47:22-23].” (Saheeh Muslim bi Sharh al-Nawawi, 16/112).
Once we understand this, we need to ask: who is the one who upholds the ties of kinship? This was explained by the Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) when he said: “The one who maintains a relationship with his relatives only because they maintain a relationship with him is not truly upholding the ties of kinship. The one who truly upholds those ties is the one who does so even if they break off the relationship.” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, 5645).
If the relationship is merely one of returning favours and giving like in return for like, and not taking the initiative, then this is not upholding the ties of kinship, it is only responding in kind. Some people follow the principle of giving a gift in return for a gift, and visiting in return for a visit, so if someone does not give them a gift, they do not give him a gift, and if he does not visit them, they do not visit him. This is not what is meant by upholding the ties of kinship at all, and this is not what is required by Islam. This is merely responding in kind, it is not the higher degree which Islam urges us to reach. A man said to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), “I have relatives with whom I try to keep in touch, but they cut me off. I treat them well, but they abuse me. I am patient and kind towards them, but they insult me.” The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “If you are as you say, then it is as if you are putting hot dust in their mouths. Allaah will continue to support you as long as you continue to do that.” (Reported by Muslim with commentary by al-Nawawi, 16/115).
Who could bear to put up with hot dust? We seek refuge with Allaah from cutting off the ties of kinship.
So my sister even if they cut off relations with you continue to maintain the ties of kinship and your reward is with Allah!
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I'd also echo Uncle Woodrow's advice, combined with bro Alpha Dude's, as to the actual visiting of your relatives for Eid.
Re: Not invited to Eid with relatives
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