divorce/Istikharah

istikhara is very good thing to do for anything that u can't decide for urself....

It's asking ALLAH Almighty for HIS advice on the issue or asking HIM to turn things in a way that's better for u,,,

But one difficult part of istikharah is to interpret, say, the dream u see as a result....

Sometimes there's NO dream,,, then one should hope ALLAH would do what is best for him/her...

istikharah

As far as I know and I may not be knowing enough only Allah is, this prayers is not to be done as an absolute (only) means of guidance when proposing an action.

It is a supporting aspect.

Firstly when you have something on mind you would rely on your own instinct and perhaps take guidance from friends, family and others.

You may then want to consider doing something practical like preparing for the task ahead if it is a task or by rationalising the action you want to take eg list all you can think of that is positive and negative or could be about your action; then weigh these up and in order to be divinely guided you then do your prayer.

Some Imam may recommend you do ghusl before the prayer, others wudu, generally the idea is clean yourself, clear your mind and find a quiet place. It is as far as I know ok to light a candle as well and have your qu'ran to hand. Most qu'ran have indexes, you could do your 2 rakat then read what the qu'ran says if any about your area of concern or do kurusiyu and yasn afterwards to put you in the right mind, then you could also do subhanalahi walhamdililahi astagafirulahi laila illa lahu like say 100 times or more and then proceed with asking Allah to guide you to do the right thing or to what is good for you.

The answer is not going to appear like magic, it is just something you do with faith in God and hope he gives you guidance which he almost always does, the main part to remember is that whatever transpires is primarily controlled by you eg if you pray that God should help you to marry your spouse if it is good/right for you then failure does not mean you were guided wrongly but that somewhere something in your actions and so on went wrong. Having said that you may be blessed with divine intervention and guidance, but its all an act of faith not black magic where you see thinigs exploding and imploding before you.

In my culture, nikka is for life, In England, we have serial nikkaist's, if you go to the Central mosque in Lagos asking for a dissolution of your nikka, they will chase you away and ask you to go and seek resolution of your difficulties and not to come and embarass your family here or spoil their good reputation.

With regards to all acts, we must try to instinctively search ourselves before we act, we are not angels we all do wrong, but primarily, as I hear a lot about special prayer, istikharah, I know I was brought up being taught that in all times of uncertainty, need, wants, difficulty and happiness at all times you have the chance, you should make 2 nafilat or more and put your wants, needs, desires and thanks to Allah.

So maybe some of us are missing something out, remembering to make nafilah to thank Allah that he spared our lives today, gave us enough to eat, clothes to wear, food to eat, water to dring, a home to live in and so much we never notice and to sit with our tesbew and do 1000 alhamdillilahi and astagafirulah and allahulaila and recite kursiyu and yasn to thank him for being there all the time.

I pray Almighty Allah helps us all to remember that although there are limitations on relations with ourselves before marriage that there is no rush and that we should always be patient to know each other, remain rational, sensible, have realistic plans and not be so fickle as to imagine Allah will provide without any real action plan, make sensible decisions and above all pray for maturity and not just for the right partner but as I do to pray that Allah remains in my future and not just the present and that he helps me to be of sound mind to be ready to endure anything for my loved one forever.

In many places in the world, it is virtually impossible to get a divorce if you have nikka, you are expected to go home and have a dialogue and then after this to engage family and elders who may well tell you to go talk to each other as you are the ones who chose each other, but basicly to work through the watershed and rough patches and rocky areas which may emerge after the scales of bliss are shed and real living kicks in.

Or maybe, think of the realities before marrying, there is provision for this in hadith, you can sit and write out vows and agreements and expectations, falling foul of this is a reason for dialogue, discussion and resolution first and repeatedly, not just divorce divorce divorce

Allah bless us all with more insight and patience and fortitude to hold our relationships together.

format_quote Originally Posted by AnonymousGender

salams everyone,
could some one please tell me if performing Istikharah prayer permissable on weather to have a divorce or not???

Akhi AnonymousGender:

You were advised to seek assistance that will take in to account both sides of your inquiry regarding divorce (Talaq). If you are unable to seek advice at the Masjid with the Imam that would instantly provide you with one of the problems. Requesting assistance from a forum regarding something that serious if you have access to a Masjid with a Knowledgeable Imam gives pause.

There are Muslims qualified to provide marriage counseling. There are always two sides to a story. The forum is being exposed to one.

I urgently need some advice please.
regarding a marriage proposal , in addition to praying istekhara namaaz, is it right to pray nafl namaaz ,make dua and then randomly open the quran and read a verse and its interpretation and draw inspiration from its meaning?
For instance if we get something like rejecting is wrong and that everything works out according to Allah's will and plan, one should accept the proposal?
If verses pointing to the same meaning keep coming, then it means it is good for you?

Is doing this right and reliable??
Please confirm.
Jazakallah.

No sis. There is no mention in the Quran or the Prophet's (saw) sunnah to use the Quran in this way. Seeking answers about which only Allah has knowledge of by that method (you mentioned) is bidah and not from islam. Only Allah has ilm of the ghaib.


To ask Allah to guide us by His knowledge of the unseen, the Prophet, may peace and blessings be upon him, taught us how to make Istikhara. This is the sunnah of the Prophet (saw).

Jazakallah sister. I did do istekhara. This proposal persists wheras the other proposals do not work out. Does this mean that this is what is best for me? I am not very convinced with this but I am not sure whether I should wait or go ahead.

format_quote Originally Posted by luckylibrain

Jazakallah sister. I did do istekhara. This proposal persists wheras the other proposals do not work out. Does this mean that this is what is best for me? I am not very convinced with this but I am not sure whether I should wait or go ahead.

Aw sis, I would not know. Only Allah knows the unseen. Since istikhara is asking Allah for guidance, once you have made istikhara, you place your full trust in Allah to turn you away from that thing if it is bad for you, or to bless it for you it it's good. So if you find the proposal satisfactory in general and its sender is of good religious and moral character then if you want, proceed with the name of Allah. In Allah's Knowledge if it isn't good for you, He will turn you away from it, or if it is He will bless it for you - as you did seek His guidance for it in the first place.

..and if it helps to make matters more clear for you, I will give you my own example..

About a year or so ago, I had a proposal I was keen on. The guy was religious and seemed like a good match. I performed istikhara a number of times and expected to feel something. At times I got a positive vibe and at times a negative one. It was really confusing. Before making istikhara, I did see him as a magician in my dream though

Anyway, something strange happened. I had made lots of dhikr that particular night and afterwards I realised there was nothing left in my heart regarding marriage to that man. I was a bit shocked as I had been keen. Now suddenly I didn't want it. Then everything clicked into place. I had done istikhara before, and now Allah had turned my heart away from Him. SubhanAllah. It doesn't have to happen straight away. But know that when you put your trust in Allah, He won't let you down. I later found out he hadn't been exactly truthful about somethings. Allahu akbar!

So even if you decide to go ahead with it, believe with your full heart that Allah will turn you away from it, if it's not good for you. There's nothing to fear when we have Allah sis

"At times I got a positive vibe and at times a negative one. It was really confusing". This is exactly what happened. So we did say no to them.But then they came back and I too was depressed when things did not work out.So I prayed a lot and made a lot of dua asking allah taala that if this is good for me let it happen for me else take it away from me.And then the proposal came back for me. So i guess this is what is best and I wont find anyone better.
I just hope this is right.

May Allah bless it for you if it is good for your deen, duniya and akhirah. Ameen

Aameen ! Jazakallah sister!

Sister,

I was reading this about isthekhara:

It is not necessary that you get a dream or even a "feeling." Rather, the istikhara is a prayer that Allah guide you towards that which is best (khayr) for you. If you do the prayer of guidance (istikhara) with the proper manners, the most important of which is to truly consign the matter to Allah and suspend your own inclinations, then Allah will make events unfold in the direction that is the best for your worldly and next-worldly affairs.

One should be pleased with what Allah chooses for one, and not seek to follow one's whims after the answer to one's supplication becomes clear.

From "Allah will make events unfold in the direction that is the best for your worldly and next-worldly affairs." I take it that the fact that I prayed isthekhara and because I was'nt convinced and we said no.
I did pray a lot of hajat salat and tahajuud one night and the next day we found that there was a minor thing that was untrue. So we said no.
Then we saw other proposals, but nothing worked out.
I now prayed that if the older proposal was right for me,please let it come back.
These people came back, in the meanwhile.
He has done isthekhara too and says that he got a positive feeling.
Is this what was the result of my isthekhara? That allah taala made other proposals not work out and this one to work out? (then Allah will make events unfold in the direction that is the best for your worldly and next-worldly affairs.) In my heart the feelings that i get are still mixed.

Any advice please??

Really need advice please!!

Assalam Alaykum Bro. I like your post very much. You are right.