I wanted to share with you a situation I encountered last week, well actually two situations. Last week wasnt my week really.
First one was when I and a sister where out shopping and took a bus to the mall. We were sitting in the bus at the back and like a metre away from us there was this old couple looking at us in a weird way. This sister was sitting next to me further away from that couple and started talking about stuff. I heard half her story cos I was focused on the couple that was looking very strangely. Like they saw some aliens or so. They were thinking I was concentrating on this sisters story and I was acting like I did (she does talk a lot) Anyway I heard the woman wispering something to her husband. And the husband answered a bit too loud. Cos I could hear what he said: "They look like nuns!". I was shocked seriously. I didnt even know what to do or say. I wore an Abaya and Hijaab and so was this sister but still they didnt have the right to say that..
Second incident was at an italian restaurant with some classmates. I was asking some lady were the bathroom was cos I couldnt find it. Then some guests at a table nearby said: "Shes a muslim, guess she never went at a restaurant!" Again I was shocked and didnt know what to do or say.
My question for you all is: have you ever been in such a situation? What did you do? What should I do?
It does hurt by the way hear them say such things about my beautiful religion. I also cant stand the rudeness of it.
I was pretty badly racially/religiously bullied in school. It sucks, I know. Its been years and I'm still trying to get over it. Just try to ignore it. They're idiots and their opinions are worth nothing.
I wanted to share with you a situation I encountered last week, well actually two situations. Last week wasnt my week really.
First one was when I and a sister where out shopping and took a bus to the mall. We were sitting in the bus at the back and like a metre away from us there was this old couple looking at us in a weird way. This sister was sitting next to me further away from that couple and started talking about stuff. I heard half her story cos I was focused on the couple that was looking very strangely. Like they saw some aliens or so. They were thinking I was concentrating on this sisters story and I was acting like I did (she does talk a lot) Anyway I heard the woman wispering something to her husband. And the husband answered a bit too loud. Cos I could hear what he said: "They look like nuns!". I was shocked seriously. I didnt even know what to do or say. I wore an Abaya and Hijaab and so was this sister but still they didnt have the right to say that..
They want to indimidate you. Give no attention to these people.
format_quote Originally Posted by ★ηαѕιнα★
Second incident was at an italian restaurant with some classmates. I was asking some lady were the bathroom was cos I couldnt find it. Then some guests at a table nearby said: "Shes a muslim, guess she never went at a restaurant!" Again I was shocked and didnt know what to do or say.
You should have turned around and cleared away their misconception. We're educated women and no one has the right to say that.
Some people think just because your in hijab, you're oppressed and can't answer back, speak english etc. You should stand up to these people.
P.s: When i say "stand up" i don't mean start shouting and swearing. lol
Last edited by Life_Is_Short; 02-24-2010 at 10:23 PM.
Aww sis I really feel for you. I get in situations like this all the time and so do my friends. Most of the time I just ignore and turn away. 1 time I broke and answered back - I wasn't proud of it as it wasn't exactly a dignified response.
The best thing to do in situations like you described, is to turn to Allah in Du'aa He may guide you away in comfort, or give you th courage to set them straight
I wanted to share with you a situation I encountered last week, well actually two situations. Last week wasnt my week really.
First one was when I and a sister where out shopping and took a bus to the mall. We were sitting in the bus at the back and like a metre away from us there was this old couple looking at us in a weird way. This sister was sitting next to me further away from that couple and started talking about stuff. I heard half her story cos I was focused on the couple that was looking very strangely. Like they saw some aliens or so. They were thinking I was concentrating on this sisters story and I was acting like I did (she does talk a lot) Anyway I heard the woman wispering something to her husband. And the husband answered a bit too loud. Cos I could hear what he said: "They look like nuns!". I was shocked seriously. I didnt even know what to do or say. I wore an Abaya and Hijaab and so was this sister but still they didnt have the right to say that..
Second incident was at an italian restaurant with some classmates. I was asking some lady were the bathroom was cos I couldnt find it. Then some guests at a table nearby said: "Shes a muslim, guess she never went at a restaurant!" Again I was shocked and didnt know what to do or say.
My question for you all is: have you ever been in such a situation? What did you do? What should I do?
It does hurt by the way her them say such things about my beautiful religion. I also cant stand the rudeness of it.
Salaam sister.
Don't be put off by these ignorant people who just assume the worst and believe what they hear. All they can do is make you feel more upset, of course this world is cruel and cold and so are the people.
You should do your best to avoid people like these, these are the types of people who look down on others but themselves are the ones who should be looked down upon. But if you ever hear somebody say something like the man restaurant you should turn around and shut them up there and then. This is because these types of people judge others based on what they hear and see, and since they saw you wearing Abaya and Hijab, they just assumed you were a typical Muslim who had no education or knew nothing of society etc. You should always tell them to mind their own business, and you should be happy about who you are, don't let these people put you off.
I was once called a "Paki" among other insults and of course i didn't like it. The guy was with his friends so felt all big and stuff but i told him where his place was and he shut up. After that i felt more confident at replying back to people like him, and didn't really have any similar issues, although i live in an area which has a lot of Muslims, but this was in a more white-dominated area.
Anyways moral of the story. Tell them to shut it and ignore them.
Hopefully you won't have to face such a situation again, it's not pleasent but we can't do anything in a Kafir's world.
Unless the context is such that you can kindly, calmly explain to them or remove misconceptions, what else is there to do except to just ignore and be patient with it?
There is no need to argue, harrass, or feel you need to 'stand up' for yourself. At the end of the day - so what if they said something ignorant? They're only hurting themselves. There is no reason for you to be hurt, logically.
I don't see why you should give any care what any old random person on the street thinks of you.
I wanted to share with you a situation I encountered last week, well actually two situations. Last week wasnt my week really.
First one was when I and a sister where out shopping and took a bus to the mall. We were sitting in the bus at the back and like a metre away from us there was this old couple looking at us in a weird way. This sister was sitting next to me further away from that couple and started talking about stuff. I heard half her story cos I was focused on the couple that was looking very strangely. Like they saw some aliens or so. They were thinking I was concentrating on this sisters story and I was acting like I did (she does talk a lot) Anyway I heard the woman wispering something to her husband. And the husband answered a bit too loud. Cos I could hear what he said: "They look like nuns!". I was shocked seriously. I didnt even know what to do or say. I wore an Abaya and Hijaab and so was this sister but still they didnt have the right to say that..
Second incident was at an italian restaurant with some classmates. I was asking some lady were the bathroom was cos I couldnt find it. Then some guests at a table nearby said: "Shes a muslim, guess she never went at a restaurant!" Again I was shocked and didnt know what to do or say.
My question for you all is: have you ever been in such a situation? What did you do? What should I do?
It does hurt by the way her them say such things about my beautiful religion. I also cant stand the rudeness of it.
just ignore...im sure u can't be bothered by that? dun let this sorta things affect u an atom..i used to be very sensitive to all these sorta things..nowdays, i just laugh it off...then again, what im doing is also wrong coz we are not supposed to look down on people..they dun have knowledge...thats y they are behaving in such a way...maybe because of u, they might even do a research about islam..=)...Wallahua'lam..
Last edited by Abdul Qadir; 02-24-2010 at 10:56 PM.
Yoonus Ibn 'Ubayd(d.139) said, "How amazing is the one who
calls to the sunnah today! And what is even more amazing
than him is the one who answers the call to the Sunnah!" Refer to Sharhus-Sunnah(no. 127) of al-Barbahaaree
I agree with those who said to ignore those type of people. I don't care what others think of me especially strangers cause that's just it - they are strangers, they don't know any better so who cares what they say or think.
Couple of years ago, i came out of the train station and this this drunk guy was talking gibberish walking just a metre behind... I didn't notice until he called a paki, start swearing under sun and insulted my religion.
I just turned around and he start clenching his fist... Believe me, I have never seen this guy before and spoke to him. And I was only 20 at that time..
I just grabbed him by the collar and my sister next to me start crying and pleading to let him go. The guy was still making racist remarks... I just punched him in the face..
10 minutes later, the police parked up, got out the car and handcuffed me without saying a word- I end up doing 100 hours community service-
Learn from this example; there is no point having physical contact. You'll end up in trouble. But now if I was in this scenario, I'll just walk away... But if it comes to religion... I'll defend Islam with my mouth, and the least I'll do is curse the guy...
Are you sure it was racism? Maybe the first couple were just curious or confused. Maybe the other comment about the bathroom was a genuine misconception and they didn't mean anything bad by it?
I'm not saying that's the case. I'm just trying to look at things from a different angle.
"I spent thirty years learning manners, and I spent twenty years learning knowledge."
Couple of years ago, i came out of the train station and this this drunk guy was talking gibberish walking just a metre behind... I didn't notice until he called a paki, start swearing under sun and insulted my religion.
I just turned around and he start clenching his fist... Believe me, I have never seen this guy before and spoke to him. And I was only 20 at that time..
I just grabbed him by the collar and my sister next to me start crying and pleading to let him go. The guy was still making racist remarks... I just punched him in the face..
10 minutes later, the police parked up, got out the car and handcuffed me without saying a word- I end up doing 100 hours community service-
Learn from this example; there is no point having physical contact. You'll end up in trouble. But now if I was in this scenario, I'll just walk away... But if it comes to religion... I'll defend Islam with my mouth, and the least I'll do is curse the guy...
Trust me I do not have the strength to beat somebody up. And besides im too chicken.
Thank you all for your replies. I got it: ignore and walk away or "set them straight verbally in a civilised manner."
Depends who im with though, when im alone I guess the ignore and walk away thing is safest.
One of you responded that when its a stranger it doesnt matter much.
What if its a sibbling? My little brother, well not so little he is 17, usually calls me "jihad" when i wear islamic clothing to go out. Alhamdoellilah once he even asked me whether I was caring a bomb under my abaya. Well let me tell you this hurts even more coming from somebody you love. He presents it as being jokes but I cant see the joke in that. Very dissapointing seriously.
format_quote Originally Posted by Uthmān
Are you sure it was racism? Maybe the first couple were just curious or confused. Maybe the other comment about the bathroom was a genuine misconception and they didn't mean anything bad by it?
I'm not saying that's the case. I'm just trying to look at things from a different angle.
Well I thought that as well at first, but then I see their faces. Those very despising looks make me think otherwise.
Have patience brothers and sisters, have patience and perseverence and don't return hatred and maltreatment with the same. Your rights and rewards earned are on judgement day and you will be glad your sins were expiated by these people's actions.
To feel better, just ask yourselves and remember: Are we even close to the torture and killings committed against the companions of the prophet? Not really, and maybe Allah just wanted to bring us higher through no actions of our own.
_____________________________________________
Iblis's eternal destination in the Hellfire is due to Arrogance, not Disbelief.
Trust me I do not have the strength to beat somebody up. And besides im too chicken.
Thank you all for your replies. I got it: ignore and walk away or "set them straight verbally in a civilised manner."
Depends who im with though, when im alone I guess the ignore and walk away thing is safest.
One of you responded that when its a stranger it doesnt matter much.
What if its a sibbling? My little brother, well not so little he is 17, usually calls me "jihad" when i wear islamic clothing to go out. Alhamdoellilah once he even asked me whether I was caring a bomb under my abaya. Well let me tell you this hurts even more coming from somebody you love. He presents it as being jokes but I cant see the joke in that. Very dissapointing seriously.
Well I thought that as well at first, but then I see their faces. Those very despising looks make me think otherwise.
Sista, he's just 17... young and naive... May Allah give him Hidayah
sister i can very much relate to your problems that you face when going out of your home.
I was insulted several times from my own people and usually from tourists in my country but when they heard my voice and actually found out i was a citizen they backed off a little and looked really surprized
usually people dont know that i am from the same country i am constantly mistaken for a tourist because i do not look irish well thats what my friends have told me that i look french or russian HAHA
i honestly agree with lots of people here that you should speak out against these people because as i said once they found out i was a citizen they backed off because they heard my clear English accent
just smile and be proud that you are muslim. never look sad or offended because thats what they want you know
All us muslim girls look beautiful in our islamic clothing
sister i can very much relate to your problems that you face when going out of your home.
I was insulted several times from my own people and usually from tourists in my country but when they heard my voice and actually found out i was a citizen they backed off a little and looked really surprized
usually people dont know that i am from the same country i am constantly mistaken for a tourist because i do not look irish well thats what my friends have told me that i look french or russian HAHA
i honestly agree with lots of people here that you should speak out against these people because as i said once they found out i was a citizen they backed off because they heard my clear English accent
just smile and be proud that you are muslim. never look sad or offended because thats what they want you know
All us muslim girls look beautiful in our islamic clothing
I wanted to share with you a situation I encountered last week, well actually two situations. Last week wasnt my week really.
First one was when I and a sister where out shopping and took a bus to the mall. We were sitting in the bus at the back and like a metre away from us there was this old couple looking at us in a weird way. This sister was sitting next to me further away from that couple and started talking about stuff. I heard half her story cos I was focused on the couple that was looking very strangely. Like they saw some aliens or so. They were thinking I was concentrating on this sisters story and I was acting like I did (she does talk a lot) Anyway I heard the woman wispering something to her husband. And the husband answered a bit too loud. Cos I could hear what he said: "They look like nuns!". I was shocked seriously. I didnt even know what to do or say. I wore an Abaya and Hijaab and so was this sister but still they didnt have the right to say that..
Second incident was at an italian restaurant with some classmates. I was asking some lady were the bathroom was cos I couldnt find it. Then some guests at a table nearby said: "Shes a muslim, guess she never went at a restaurant!" Again I was shocked and didnt know what to do or say.
My question for you all is: have you ever been in such a situation? What did you do? What should I do?
It does hurt by the way hear them say such things about my beautiful religion. I also cant stand the rudeness of it.
These types of story make me , though being rude etc is never the answer in this situation, I'd maybe try to point out they have been rude and offensive n set the story straight, most of them usually just get really embarrassed after that.
To my Akh's tryin to stay on their deen
It gets mean especially when u stay on the scene
And at the same try to stay out of trouble
But don't forget the blessing's in the struggle...
You gotta stay on your salats, your zakats, your Quran
its really hard living in the western country these days but the think to do is keep your head up and dont let comments affect ur belief as u may know allah knows best
Why did you find "they look like nuns" insulting? It was only an observation and related to something they understand. Obviously you are not a nun, but they don't know what your dress is called or why you wear it. You should also take into account that they are old. If they are native to Holland they grew up in a time when there wasn't any ethnic diversity. Its probably been hard for them to adapt. Unless they start insulting you, I wouldn't take it as offence... more curiousity.
The second one was an insult and you did well to ignore it. It might have been good to say something hurtful back though.
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