I am writing on here because I have no where else to turn and I’m hoping to get some advice on what to do about a close friend of mine and her relationship with a Hindu man, both of whom I work with.
She used to pray 5 times a day, maybe miss namaz now and then but she was praying almost everyday.
She’s been out with a few guys in the past (all Muslim guys) I’m not saying this makes it ok for her to go out with guys because they’re Muslim. She was hurt really badly recently and she vowed never to ‘go out’ with another again’ and said would just like to get married (she’s in her thirties) but has never found anyone suitable.
Recent at work she has been getting close to this Hindu guy and fancies her and everyone in the office knows her is crazy about her. I think she is enjoying the attention but she has told him clearly that nothing can happen between them as he is Hindu and she is Muslim. He told her he really really likes her and calls her everyday even though she has stated she would only be with a man she has a future with.
I think because he is so persistent, she is slowly starting to fall for him too and this is what is worrying me. He wouldn’t revert because someone already asked him that. So I don’t know what more he wants from her. How can I advise her to stay away from him without sounding jealous or bitter?
I am writing on here because I have no where else to turn and I’m hoping to get some advice on what to do about a close friend of mine and her relationship with a Hindu man, both of whom I work with.
She used to pray 5 times a day, maybe miss namaz now and then but she was praying almost everyday.
She’s been out with a few guys in the past (all Muslim guys) I’m not saying this makes it ok for her to go out with guys because they’re Muslim. She was hurt really badly recently and she vowed never to ‘go out’ with another again’ and said would just like to get married (she’s in her thirties) but has never found anyone suitable.
Recent at work she has been getting close to this Hindu guy and fancies her and everyone in the office knows her is crazy about her. I think she is enjoying the attention but she has told him clearly that nothing can happen between them as he is Hindu and she is Muslim. He told her he really really likes her and calls her everyday even though she has stated she would only be with a man she has a future with.
I think because he is so persistent, she is slowly starting to fall for him too and this is what is worrying me. He wouldn’t revert because someone already asked him that. So I don’t know what more he wants from her. How can I advise her to stay away from him without sounding jealous or bitter?
Your friend got hurt in the past because of the fact she went against the commands of Allah and pursued haraam relations. She should have feared Allah then and she would have saved herself from being used and from the hurt and pain of those relationships.
You must tell her to fear Allah and keep away from this man. She must be strong and firm and tell him that he must keep away from her at once and that she will take it further if he continues to pester her.
It is wrong that she gave him her number in the first place. Why did she do so if she knew there was no future between them? This is how relations like this begin. If she really did not want him to come near her then she would do much more than she is doing currently.
She should realise that if she does pursue this haraam relationship with a non believer that she would have sold her religion for this man thus selling her Akhirah for such a cheap price.
You must warn her that she must not pursue this any further and that she is currently walking over hot coals. She must be firm and even leave her job if need be to get away from this evil influence.
Also remind her would she want her own daughter to get involved with a non believer?
Remind her of the terrible punishments to come and remind her of our purpose in life. Remind her we can go any second and that she must not allow him to make her heart tender anymore and that she must think of her akhirah therefore she must do what Allah would want her to do and act at once before she falls into destruction!
Tell her to listen to these brilliant lectures on this issue:
Muslim girl + non-muslim dude => hell No !!!
not to be offensive, but that's not allowed in Islam, don't ask why. I shoudn't ask why we have to do 5 salats (prayer) per day and not 3.
Just tell her that can't be done if she is a muslim girl. A good muslim will prefer to follow Allah's will, rather than his own desire.
Last edited by marwen; 03-31-2010 at 07:24 PM.
"O you who believe! Fear ALLAH as He should be feared" [aal 'Imraan, 102]
good advice brother hamza she is walking on hot coal and even i can feel the heat from here reading that post. she should at least keep away from this guy i mean knowing that he is a hindu and everything should be enough to keep her away.
there was a lot of good looking hindu men i worked with always charming also so i can understand how a girl can walk right in to this trap but i always knew deep down what benefit i will get if i pursed a guy like that ITS NOT WORTH IT i love Allah to much to risk losing his love. even taking them as friends is bad enough. also she should keep away from all men even muslims unless they approach her wali for marriage.
i myself am so happy i left my previous job. i am a better muslimah for it. i was losing zikr of Allah because i was befriending non mahram men i am such a different person today Alhamdulilah but i know a person cant just get up and leave there job but its well worth it in the end!! subhanAllah!!!!
This is why I don't like woman and men mixing woman all ways eventually fall for the guys sweet talk all he has to be is persistant, some woman are so soft they can't say no and they let men walk all over them. I don't get it.
Just cos he's persistant doesn't mean he's crazy about her. Just means he's a saddo with nothinig better to do than chase after the thing that appeals to his evil desires.
I really don't understand this about some women how can they let themselves be charmed by guys. And they're not even good guys, they're men who just say on their tongue that which isn't in their heart. and women fall for it :s
“Who said that guidance requires there to be someone accompanying you"
This is why I don't like woman and men mixing woman all ways eventually fall for the guys sweet talk all he has to be is persistant, some woman are so soft they can't say no and they let men walk all over them. I don't get it.
Just cos he's persistant doesn't mean he's crazy about her. Just means he's a saddo with nothinig better to do than chase after the thing that appeals to his evil desires.
I really don't understand this about some women how can they let themselves be charmed by guys. And they're not even good guys, they're men who just say on their tongue that which isn't in their heart. and women fall for it :s
Excellent perception bro!
This is a pitfall that at least 70% of sisters fall into. They need to be aware of the SNAG. The Sensitive New Age Guy.
Saying that, however, sisters and women in general tend to have this 'need' for a guy that understands them and treats them well and anybody that gives them the sort of attention they crave, they end up planning their lives with 'em. They play down any obstacles and overlook key features just so they can continue having the guy giving her attention and making her feel loved.
it's really quite frightening when you think about it and you don't want to let your women folk out into mixed environments cos so many of them end up falling prey, I think this is how Allah's made her or something.
Any guy that comes along and gives the sweet talk for a certain number of days and she thinks he's madly in love with her. Wake up sisters
“Who said that guidance requires there to be someone accompanying you"
Yeah. You also get those women who believe they are strong yet eventually they to turn out to be just as easily duped. The guys persistently crack away at them and with time, all their barriers and defense goes away and they become putty. Just like what seems to have happened with the sister mentioned in the OP. No matter how much she hated the idea of being with a Hindu at first, she let herself slip.
Sisters should always be on their guard and never assume that just because they have strong and assertive personalities, that they would never fall into such traps.
Yeah. You also get those women who believe they are strong yet eventually they to turn out to be just as easily duped. The guys persistently crack away at them and with time, all their barriers and defense goes away and they become putty. Just like what seems to have happened with the sister mentioned in the OP. No matter how much she hated the idea of being with a Hindu at first, she let herself slip.
Sisters should always be on their guard and never assume that just because they have strong and assertive personalities, that they would never fall into such traps.
yes they should complain and do him for harassment straight away. not entertain him and play cat and mouse with him.
I know atleast two sisters in my lifetime who had fallen for a non-muslim. Do you what happened to them? They end up making their parents very angry and get sent back home for immediate marriage. This is their ultimate end. The guys are never prepared to compromise their religion and the parents never approve. A sad reality one has to face. Life is not an indian movie as my non-muslim chemistry teacher described it once. This was after he had found out about this bright sister in my class who fell into the trap and got sent back right before final exams.
It is better to learn from others mistake then to repeat the same mistake and then learn and this goes for all the sisters out there.
Last edited by Life_Is_Short; 04-01-2010 at 12:35 AM.
love/relationships outside marriages are just a disaster waiting to happen.
you can hardly tell if some is sincere about you until/unless you get married to them or at the very least involve the wali STRAIGHT AWAY (without the pre-martial flirting and what not ). until then, there's no clear indication as to what each party want and most likely will fall prey to deception and hurt. you just dont know what they are hiding or what their motives might be without the wali.
Just cos he's persistant doesn't mean he's crazy about her. Just means he's a saddo with nothinig better to do than chase after the thing that appeals to his evil desires.
that and he probably doesn't want his ego damaged since he is being so persistent i doubt he would want to get hurt. he probably cant stand being told "no."
Last edited by Ummu Sufyaan; 03-31-2010 at 11:47 PM.
...desperate for husnul-khitaam...
please make dua that Allah grants me a good end (to my life). please make dua that Allah guides me.
tell her not to be watching those hindu love movies really and im not trying to be funny here but they are well known for there influence towards muslim women
Tell her to fear ALLAH(SWT),
Tell her not marry him for her but for allah(swt),
Tell her allah(swt) will be very angry with her,
Tell her the shayton's dragging her to hellfire.
All that free mixing is un-islamic!!
FEAR ALLAH! STOP ACTING LIKE THE DISBELIEVERS.
Tell her to fear ALLAH(SWT),
Tell her not marry him for her but for allah(swt),
Tell her allah(swt) will be very angry with her,
Tell her the shayton's dragging her to hellfire.
All that free mixing is un-islamic!!
FEAR ALLAH! STOP ACTING LIKE THE DISBELIEVERS.
She is in her thirties and still not married... Ask her to leave the job and get married soon...also change her phone number as he may still try to contact her.
The best thing is she should bring him in this foorum to make him think about reverting before marriage. People like me who are recent revgerts will be able to convince him. I shall vb4e happy to convince him if he contacts
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Re: Muslim girl/ Hindu guy
woman all ways eventually fall for the guys sweet talk all he has to be is persistant, some woman are so soft they can't say no and they let men walk all over them. I don't get it. 
The guys are never prepared to compromise their religion and the parents never approve. A sad reality one has to face. Life is not an indian movie as my non-muslim chemistry teacher described it once. This was after he had found out about this bright sister in my class who fell into the trap and got sent back right before final exams.
). until then, there's no clear indication as to what each party want and most likely will fall prey to deception and hurt. you just dont know what they are hiding or what their motives might be without the wali.
Ask her to leave the job and get married soon...also change her phone number as he may still try to contact her.
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