Marriage Problems

Wa`Alaaykum Salaam sistah

Well the relationship should be halaal, if you met islamically as in in all your meetings there was a Mahram involved e.g. your Father,Brother,etc. then its okay InshaAllaah

Anyways its the Decree of Allaah, everything happens by the command of Allaah!
If you think you marrying him will please Allaah and your doing it for the pleasure of pleasing Allaah then May Allaaah make it easy or you.
Make Dua to Allaah all the time and be sincere.
There is the Prayer of Ishtikara(The Guidance Prayer), where you ask Allaah to show weather an act is good for you in this life and the hereafter.


Indeed Allaah loves you and indeed wants whats best for you and yeah its natural to get upset or down when someone you love is not with you etc. But you must remember your intentions sistah, whether your doing this in the Halaal way, i dont know if you are or not, only you should know, but sister remember if you do things the way Allaah has prescribed then no doubt youll get what you will, maybe not in this Dunya but surely in the hereafter!

I hope you the best sistah and surely the brothers ,sisters more knowledgable shall give you better advice if mine is not helpful and forgive me if i have said anything harm.


Wa Alaaykum Salaam

This is common unfortunately, that's why it's wise to never let your self get attached to someone and develope any kind of feelings towards them, unless it's certain you're gonna get married because then after you feel like crap if it doesn't work out.

Just keep making dua and if it doesn't happen then realise that Allah has something better for you inshallah. You may think he is the best thing for you right now but Allah can see 10 years down the line and you can't so just trust in Allah.

I know you will feel sad if it doesn't happen but this is life, you get hit along the way you just have to keep taking the hits untill whatever it is you want happens. And remember the ultimate goal which is jannah.

why did his family reject you? you should pray istikhara and try to get through to them...if it doesnt work out, its all qadr innit...

if you have committed any sins by falling for this guy, then repent. imo in the case where they involve the haram, its best to leave them as it sows seeds of mistrust later on (no offense)

So if we try and try and try and parents dont accept then that means it wasnt meant to be? Has Allah planned who our marriage partners will be?

^im not sure, but what difference does it make? you try but if it doesnt happen, you just have to be patient and accept things the way they are =)

who says allah has planed marriage partners for everyone =)

I just want to get married to this particular person. I know its very common i know it is but it dont make it any easier it really doesnt.

I never said Allah has Planned our partners - but merely asking if Allah has?

Istikara has been done both sides and positive.

Istikara has been done both sides and positive.

interesting...in that case i would still go ahead with it. well at least you shouldn't t give up so easily. at the same time, be realistic about this and dotn hold unto false hopes and dreams-they'll just cause you more heartache.

format_quote Originally Posted by anonymous

I just want to get married to this particular person. I know its very common i know it is but it dont make it any easier it really doesnt.

have you (and he) took practical steps such as proposing. have your family dropped hints? has he tried talking/convincing his family?

just some side advice, don't contact one another via haram means and make sure you have fulfilled the proper Islamic etiquette in this regard.

is dua my only hope then? if that doesnt succeed should i just accept whatever has happened has happened for the best?

Please rememeber me in your duas

format_quote Originally Posted by anonymous

Salaam,

I have fallen in love with a brother who is the best thing that ever happened to me. His family however have rejected me.

Is there anyway to make a dua to make us be together?

Is marriage predestined? - Are our partners chosen for us by Allah?

i am just really confused and down at the moment.

Asalaamu Alaikum Wr Wb, you see sister this is the very reason why relationships before marriage are forbidden and it is because they are not a guarantee for marriage and also one is risking a life devoid of blessings with that person by gaining the anger and wrath of Allah before such a marriage takes place. When wanting marriage it should always be done in the right way and if things are done correctly within the boundaries of islam then Allah will bless such a marriage. In your situation you have fallen for this man before marriage and now if things do not go ahead then you will be scarred and in much pain. This should be a lesson to you and all who are contemplating a relationship before marriage. Keep away from it and do things in the right way.

Whatever is best for you will happen. It does not mean just because you have fallen for this brother before marriage that he will be best for you. Ask of Allah to do what is best for you and if that means that you end up not marrying him then surely that is best for you because what if you did marry and end up having a terrible marriage full of problems and ends up in divorce? If children are involved then it becomes even worse. Unfortunatley most marriage which resulted from relationships do end in bad ways and it is because they are devoid of goodness and blessings.

So repent to Allah for your interactions before marriage and ask of him to do what is best. Stop any interactions with him if you want anything positive to happen and rely on Allah. If it is best it will happen and if it does'nt then it won't but learn from this and never interact before marriage without your mahrams being present for many who went about things the right way will tell you how happy they are and how much blessings and happiness Allah has put into their married lives.

and Allah knows best in all matters.