in love with my niece

why is there a poll for this? You said that you hate doing it and then you put up a poll asking if you should keep on doing what you hate? Are you even sincere with yourself?

ur situation is not right it is haram. When something is haram dont u leave it alone or at least try to avoid it and not look for some loophole? well its the same in this situation leave her be and try to aviod being alone with her i understand u dont want to hurt her but either way if u stay with her u are hurting her/urself and if u leave her alone u both will feel hurt but over time the pain will subside
may Allah guide u both

format_quote Originally Posted by naidamar

Then you love drinking more than you love Allah.

Likewise, if you are the op, you love being in sexual relations with your niece than you love Allah. Surely if you love Allah more, you'd immediately stop whatever you are having with your niece now.

That's the hard fact.

Wake up, and smell the roses.

The longer you are in the delusion of "oh, but I love Allah", the more you are unable to break away from your haram actions because you keep justifying your actions by thinking that it is outside your choice.

You have options. Choose the right one.

love and actions is two different words bro. im not tryna say im good im admittin that im a sinner. the reason why am here is to find the best solution for both of us but you became more of a judge. i dont need a judge and by the way stop lying.

format_quote Originally Posted by anonymous

the reason why am here is to find the best solution for both of us

Is there more than two options for a solution?

1. Leave her for the sake of Allah and Allaah will compensate you with something better than it.
2. Stay with your own niece who is like your own daughter and thus ruining both your and your niece's life and keep committing one of the greatest sins for the rest of your life.

“O mankind, eat from whatever is on earth [that is] lawful and good and do not follow the footsteps of Satan. Indeed, he is to you a clear enemy.” [Al Baqarah:168]

“And this [Qur'an] is a Book We have revealed [which is] blessed, so follow it and fear Allah that you may receive mercy.” [Surat Al-'An'ām:155]

and this Hadith:

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “O ummah of Muhammad, by Allaah there is none more indignant than Allaah when His slave, male or female, commits zina. O ummah of Muhammad, if you knew what I know, you would laugh little and weep much.”

Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 1044; Muslim, 901.

i am confused....Firstly, OP you need to assess what is important for you and why yo uhave come here in the first place. My guess is this.....You realise this relationship is not right and it has to stop. You are looking for somone to give you the push to stop it. Or you want someone to take the decision out of your hands. Remember this.....Allah tests us in all different ways. How you deal with this test is what will make you a stronger and BETTER person. You may well have strong feelings towards your neice and feel much love and affection towards her, but this DOES NOT mean you should act upon it.

Start by realising you are the one who has the options in front of them and you need to take the right choice in order to gain Allah's blessings. You already have started on the right path by admitting that it needs to stop although you are unsure how. Maybe this will help. Certain people are forbidden in terms of relationships....your Mother, Your sister and your Daughter are all included in this list. How would you feel having such a relationship with these people. I would assume that you would find this utterly disgusting.....and as a lead on from that you are committing the same kind of relationship with your niece. I hope you ponder this thought.

Secondly, it did occur to me thaat your niece maybe your wife's brothers/sisters daughter and in this case then you also need to thin kof the repercussions.

May Allah guide you and bless you.

format_quote Originally Posted by anonymous

bro i dont really care if her parents find out. people worry more about people than they worry about allah SWT. i have done it and and the point is i cant leave her just like that imagine shes my family how the hell am i gonna say that to her or disappear. i promised her to always be ther for her no matter what happens. and by the way a woman is not what i need. what i need is to find the best solution for both of us coz i took her virginity which is really hard to imagine and you know what happens when a girl is not a virgin. but what ever is meant to happen cannot be changed. and its not that simple. i dont think anyone can find a very good solution where we are both happy. insha'allah allah will find a solution for me. i'll keep praying.

format_quote Originally Posted by anonymous

love and actions is two different words bro. im not tryna say im good im admittin that im a sinner. the reason why am here is to find the best solution for both of us but you became more of a judge. i dont need a judge and by the way stop lying.

That's the problem, you should take care and concern if her parents find out because this is a part of loving Allah. Allah wants for the Muslims the best of character along with the best of reputation. The people who you should be worried about the most is your family because shaytan rejoices when he breaks up a family, may Allah's curse be upon him. A part of loving Allah is to take into great consideration how the Prophets' of Allah conducted themselves, they cared greatly about their family and reputation. Yusuf was called to have sexual relations by a woman of immense beauty and rank, and he was inclined to her, but he ran away. She wore the most seductive clothes, she spoke the most seductive words and almost forced Yusuf to sleep with her but he resisted. Allah mentioned His patience, his noble character and honoured rank in His eyes in the Qur'aan as a praise for him and the people until the end of time will recite his name, may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him.

...Thus do we reward the doers of good. [12:22]

Look at the response of the people on a forum, what will the response be of your family, of her father/your brother? What you are doing has grave consequences but you are willing to argue to hold on to her even though it has been made clear that the solution is to distance yourself from this relationship.

Note that as an uncle you cannot leave her in totality because you are a family, bound to meet one other at some point in the future. It may be hard to escape this unless you move to a distant town or city, you will end up seeing her again. But as long as you remain in each others presence you can and should love her only as your niece, protect her as member of your family but you must limit this relationship to that of an uncle and niece and not to a sexual and lustful relationship. It should should not be similar to that of a husband or wife, or worse, a boyfriend and girlfriend. It is not your job to protect her as a lover.

Love and actions are two different things is a point that can be agreed upon, but they are almost synonymous. When one loves another he will work to keep it alive, your love for her lead to you taking it further. You must realise this and realise where your lusts have taken you and what consequences this entails.

The bottom line is, you must leave this evil relationship because nothing more will come out of it except for a great deal of evil. As far as her virginity is concerned she should conceal it and not reveal it to anyone.

Both of you must earnestly repent because a disaster may be hovering above your heads.

And whatever misfortune befalls you, it is on account of what your hands have earned, and (yet) He pardons most (of your faults). [42:30]

you need to put your feelings aside and think about her if you love her the best thing for her would be for you to take charge of the situation and leave if she is younger than you she may well be frightened at the fact that she has already done a big sin and slept with a man before marriage and if her family find out she would be either disowned or looked down upon her future would be hard for her so it would be best to stop now we have all ready said the situation is haram if you fear Allah then stop now do you really want her to suffer in the Danya and on judgement day so please re-think what you are doing yes it will hurt there are no doubts about that but what will hurt more if she suffers and loses her family think how you would feel then it would be ten times worse

Everyone has basically given u the same advice, LEAVE HER. Distance yourself from her in such things. You need to put more of your focus towards Allaah and your deen. Trust me, all this that you feel will dissipate and you will be thankful to Allaah. If you're expecting to find another solution, you will NOT get it. Absolutely not. It is full on haraam. It's disgusting and filthy and you need to keep firm on your deen and your emaan that you can do this.

Words of failure to yourself will only lead to failure, not success. So stop stalling, stop the excuses and do something.

format_quote Originally Posted by anonymous

bro i dont really care if her parents find out. people worry more about people than they worry about allah SWT. i have done it and and the point is i cant leave her just like that imagine shes my family how the hell am i gonna say that to her or disappear. i promised her to always be ther for her no matter what happens. and by the way a woman is not what i need. what i need is to find the best solution for both of us coz i took her virginity which is really hard to imagine and you know what happens when a girl is not a virgin. but what ever is meant to happen cannot be changed. and its not that simple. i dont think anyone can find a very good solution where we are both happy. insha'allah allah will find a solution for me. i'll keep praying.

Any promise/vow that is made to do something against the commands of Allah and His Rasul (SAW) must be broken - immediately. Unless you repent there is nothing but the wrath of Allah and ruin in both worlds. You claim you love Allah. But if you stay with your niece, you are literally saying:


"O Allah, I claim to love you, but I have to disobey you because I care more about someone's feelings than I do about your Commands." This is literally the position you're in at the moment. That is not love brother. You have only felt the seed of love for Allah. I pray it grows. Because a true lover of Allah would die rather than go against His Commands. Which lover of Allah can have a seconds peace if they fear Allah may be displeased with them? Which lover of Allah wants to live knowing Allah must have turned His face away in anger at His slave for committing a sin which in the eyes of Allah is so evil. Allah loves not the disobedient.


"And come not near to unlawful sexual intercourse. Verily, it is a faahishah (a great sin) and an evil way." (Sura Al-Israa # 17 ayah # 32)

"Rasulullah (SAW) explained: If one of you were to be stabbed in the head with a piece of iron it would be better for him than if he were to touch a woman whom it is not permissible for him to touch." (Reported by al-Tabaraani; see also Saheeh al-Jaami, 5045).


Your desire to keep your promise is only fuelled by Allah's enemy, the accursed shaytaan, and by fulfilling that desire over the prohibitions Allah set for you, you are allowing Iblis to stamp on that seed you have in your heart, and kill it. No wonder Allah's love in your heart is not flourishing. Just think, if just the presence of that seed makes you cry when you think of Allah, what would the state of your heart be if that seed was to grow and fill your heart?


This is a Message for you from Allah.

Surah ar Rahman Verse 39, He said:


Translation: Then on that Day none will be asked about his sin among men or jinn.

Do you know why? Because..


Translation: The criminals will be KNOWN by their marks, and they will be seized by the forelocks and the feet.

The people you disobey Allah for will despise you. They will accuse you to save their own necks.


The evil deeds will materialize into actual burden that people carry on their backs (Surah al-An'am, ayat 31). Nobody wants to bear another's burden, even a close relative (Surah Faatir, ayat 18).

This is the day when no parent will be of any help to his child, nor will a child be any help to his parents (Surah Luqman, ayat 33). No will be no ties of kinship exist among them that day, and some will even flee from his parents and wife and children, as they have their own affairs be of sufficient concern to them (Surah 'Abasa, ayat 33-42).


Given that this is probably the worst sin you've committed, your niece will be your biggest accuser. Whether you're there for her or not won't matter anymore. Neither she nor you will care about your promise any more. Earthly life and it's temptations will be over. There will only be one worry. To save yourselves from Hell-Fire. Allah is Forgiving and Merciful. He will even forgive this sin. There's nothing to be gained by continuing to keep your promise to your niece. Only shame, dishonour and humiliation. Don't let shaytaan lull you into a false sense of doing good. Even he will abandon man on the Day of Reckoning.


Surah Ibrahim, ayat 22:
And Satan will say when the matter has been concluded, "Indeed, Allah had promised you with the promise of truth, whereas I promised you but betrayed you. But I had no authority over you except that I invited you, and you responded to me. So do not blame me; but blame yourselves. I cannot be called to your aid. Indeed, I deny that you previously joined me." Indeed for the wrongdoers is a painful punishment.


Remember death and all that will accompany it.



Is it wise to disobey Allah for someone whose body will become food for the insects until there is nothing left of it but bones? Except those Allah saves, no one will come to save us. No one can. Except deeds that earned us Allah's mercy.






Do you really not care if her parents found out. Those who love Allah care about His slaves. Even if they dislike someone they let love for the sake of Allah override those feelings. A muslim is not allowed to talk behind his brother's back in a way that will hurt him, yet this is akin to killing your brother over and over again. What did he do to deserve his brother betraying his trust and deflowering his daughter's honour? Remember, Allah can forgive His slaves for disobeying Him more readily than He can for wronging His slaves.


Don't stay on this path. You say you care for your nieces future. Then cut the ties of a haram relationship with her. Allah subhana wa ta 'ala says in Verse 60, "Is the reward for good [anything] but good?" Surah ar Rahman. Meaning there is nothing but good for doing good. Then imagine the opposite. Get out while you can, and be the true lover of Allah you are only imagining to be today.

wa alaykum assalam.