I am greatly very troubled and stuck, as being a muslim myself, i have been made a mistake for haveing a relatonship with the girl which i should know that it is haraam to have relatonship, i have no idea why did i choose to ignore it.
anyway the part is that she is a sikh, we used to argue about religion therefore she does alot of shirk many times, like for example, "for pete's sake" " in the name of my grandma" "in the name of my grandfather's memory" and so on. When i see her doing that, it makes me feel really uncomfortable as she does believe in God but choose to deviate on other things around her. When i am with her, i find it troubling cos i keep missing my prayers, i stood apart from my brothers, and mostly with her. Once i asked her about Islam, she said she wont change and she treat all religions as equal so theorically shes saying that hindu and islam is equal when hindu people whorshp pagans etc. When she said that, it makes me feel so regretfull being with her and i am in seek for help from Allah to close down our relatonship as its not going to be any good in the future, i want to close this relatonship with her because i find myself sinning and regretful which i make a huge fool of myself infront of Allah almighty's eyes. I cant break the relatonship with her otherwise she will sucide herself over me which is the biggest issue atm When i try to invite her to Islam, she wouldnt be interested and all in her mind is all is equal. That is what she got from sikh's teaching. Please help me to close the relatonship with her saftelty and with Allah's help.
Wa'kum... brothers and sisters.
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This is a very hard situation to be in and I understand you feel alot of guilt about leaving her cos you don't want to cause her hurt or pain but sometimes we want things that Allah does not want for us. You've made the right choice in leaving her because the longer you leave it the worse it will get, but your problem is that she's threatning to kill herself if you leave her, are you sure she's not just saying this to make you feel guilty so that you never leave her?
“Who said that guidance requires there to be someone accompanying you"
Just leave her. Even if she commits suicide, why should it pain you, isnt she insulting your Allah? Yes, tell her not to commit suicide but once you do that, your responsibility is fulfilled. She is a grown up human with her own free will. Allah wont ask you about her suicide, as long as you've told her that its wrong.
Leave her now, for Allah's sake. And never again talk to her. She has insulted your Allah in front of you. Allah's love in your heart must be greater than your worry of her hurting herself! She's already hurting herself by insulting Allah.
Help me to escape from this existence
I yearn for an answer... can you help me?
I'm drowning in a sea of abused visions and shattered dreams
In somnolent illusion... I'm paralyzed
If your worried she might commit suicide then seek professional help immediately. There is always a possibility someone may commit suicide so do take her seriously in my opinion. She might need professional advice and counseling.
I was looking at myself talking to myself and I realized this conversation...I was having with myself looking at myself was a conversation with myself that I needed to have with myself.
well, i will try my best to close it down inshAllah cos its been troubling for me everyday.
the thing i know why she would commit suicide over me is beacuse shes a very troubled girl, her parents dont even like her nor her grandparents even she tried to help them and be nice to them and if i close it down and things will be worst for all.
what shall i do?!?! i m so stuck and i need to get out of it...
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well, i will try my best to close it down inshAllah cos its been troubling for me everyday.
the thing i know why she would commit suicide over me is beacuse shes a very troubled girl, her parents dont even like her nor her grandparents even she tried to help them and be nice to them and if i close it down and things will be worst for all.
what shall i do?!?! i m so stuck and i need to get out of it...
Salaam,
I'm sure there are services to help her. You cannot let her force you into this relationship. Both of you will be unhappy in the end. Like in the UK there is an emergency online service to help people that might consider suicide.
You are not stuck in this situation. You can leave and let the medical profession help her.
I was looking at myself talking to myself and I realized this conversation...I was having with myself looking at myself was a conversation with myself that I needed to have with myself.
if she is willing to commit suicide, then she should be willing to learn about islam and convert for your sake and then marry you. tell her to learn islam, go to islamic lectures, convert, start practicing islam fully and then marry you (and until then you two stay apart). if she says no, it means she isn't as crazy about you as you think.
if she is willing to commit suicide, then she should be willing to learn about islam and convert for your sake and then marry you.
I don't think this is wise. She needs to convert to Islam for Allah, not for anyone else. Both need to move on. They should not have been dating in the first place.
The most that can be done is give her a book on Islam and leave.
I was looking at myself talking to myself and I realized this conversation...I was having with myself looking at myself was a conversation with myself that I needed to have with myself.
that is true. however, she is threatening to commit suicide. that is emotional blackmail. he can prove how true she is by telling her to lewarn about islam and convert if she really loves him so much. most probably she will refuse.
I well agree with you guys.. i still live in regret and why does when i think of her religion (sikh) seems that a mockery towards Islam? its so uncomfortable...
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that is true. however, she is threatening to commit suicide. that is emotional blackmail. he can prove how true she is by telling her to lewarn about islam and convert if she really loves him so much. most probably she will refuse.
If she converts, then most likely, she converted for the wrong reasons. If she does not convert, there is a possibility she might commit suicide. She might be blackmailing. Whatever the possibilities are, this person does not sound mentally stable.
So it is better both leave and move on. He should not have any contact with her in the first place. All he needs to do is give her a book on Islam, find some services that can help people that might commit suicide and end the relationship.
Last edited by GuestFellow; 03-02-2011 at 04:20 PM.
I was looking at myself talking to myself and I realized this conversation...I was having with myself looking at myself was a conversation with myself that I needed to have with myself.
I am greatly very troubled and stuck, as being a muslim myself, i have been made a mistake for haveing a relatonship with the girl which i should know that it is haraam to have relatonship, i have no idea why did i choose to ignore it.
anyway the part is that she is a sikh, we used to argue about religion therefore she does alot of shirk many times, like for example, "for pete's sake" " in the name of my grandma" "in the name of my grandfather's memory" and so on. When i see her doing that, it makes me feel really uncomfortable as she does believe in God but choose to deviate on other things around her. When i am with her, i find it troubling cos i keep missing my prayers, i stood apart from my brothers, and mostly with her. Once i asked her about Islam, she said she wont change and she treat all religions as equal so theorically shes saying that hindu and islam is equal when hindu people whorshp pagans etc. When she said that, it makes me feel so regretfull being with her and i am in seek for help from Allah to close down our relatonship as its not going to be any good in the future, i want to close this relatonship with her because i find myself sinning and regretful which i make a huge fool of myself infront of Allah almighty's eyes. I cant break the relatonship with her otherwise she will sucide herself over me which is the biggest issue atm When i try to invite her to Islam, she wouldnt be interested and all in her mind is all is equal. That is what she got from sikh's teaching. Please help me to close the relatonship with her saftelty and with Allah's help.
Wa'kum... brothers and sisters.
Asalaamu Alaikum, Jazakallah khayr for sharing your issues with us. My brother at least you have realised your errors now that you have committed a grave sin by having haraam relations with a girl and such relationships always go wrong and cause pain and scarring as well as one becoming suicidal.
So repent sincerely to Allah with remorse and the intention never to have relations with any women again. Then you must cut off all relations with this girl regardless of what she says. Many a time a person will say such a thing to keep their partner but not actually mean it. Even if she does mean it you have no loyalty to her for you are not hers and can never be hers as long as she remains the religion she is. You cannot just stay with her commiting sins because she is blackmailing you by threatening suicide.
Its clear she does not have any knowledge of Islam at the moment and that is why she has such conclusions.
Therefore there are two options which you have:
1. Cut off all contact with her and get her in touch with some Muslim sisters who can teach her about Islam and if she wil truly revert for the right reasons then you may even consider marrying her.
2. Cut off relations with her immediatley but not saying anything harsh. Change your number and e mail addresses, repent to Allah asking of him to help you and making intention never to repeat such an act again and don't look back.
We as Muslims cannot commit sin by getting blackmailed by another person. You realise your error and now it is time to end all contact by choosing either option above. We learn from our mistakes so if you do leave her then in the future when you are ready for marriage and looking for a partner then make sure you go about things in the right way and involve the girls mahrams straight away.
Do not ever delay things as that way relationships before marriage develop and you give shaythan invitation into such a relationship and you will ruin your chances as well as anger Allah and gain his wrath. if you were to die in such a state then how will you answer Allah?
My brother if you do have anymore questions or need anymore advice at all then please do not hesitate to ask.
I pray whatever is best for you in this situation happens.
And Allah knows best in all matters
Last edited by Hamza Asadullah; 03-04-2011 at 05:45 AM.
I will finalise things soon as possible InshAllah..
I had a recent talk to her and she said that she can do "Half Sikh and Half Muslim just for me"
What is that supposed to mean? hmm
I find it so absurd and i knew that she didnt bother about having a deep hindsight about Islam.
Peace
Asalaamu Alaikum, There is no such thing as becoming a half Muslim. One is either a full Muslim or a non believer and it is clear that she wants to continue to be a non believer and she has certainly made herself clear to you on that as she has no interest in even looking into Islam properly.
So my brother do not waste anymore time on her. Let go of her completly and the only way you will do this is by changing your phone number and e mail address and that way you can also have a fresh start. Do not talk to her anymore about this matter as she will just try to convince you to stay with her by trying anything she can but you must just take action immediatley by doing what i have just told you and then you can continue with your life living everyday to please Allah and refraining from anything which angers or displeases him.
Repent to Allah in shame and turn to him. Ask of him to help and guide you and strive to be closer to him as he wants you closer to him. Ask of him to help you find the right partner to marry and in the right way. When you are ready for marriage then search for someone who will want to do things in the right way as in through her mahram and not want to "get to know you" which always turns into haraam doing. Look for piety and good character. Allah will find you a person you deserve so go about things in the right manner and you wil find someone pious inshallah.
If you need anymore help or advice on anything at all then please do not hesitate to ask.
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