Assalamun alaikum everybody

ive just discovered that am a passive shy person...

when am in a room filled with ppl my mind always goes blank i dnt no what to think or what to say..in case i say sumthing that might be too much for myself and i would be able to cope ....too scared to get into disscuision in the fear that i wouldnt be able to say my point of view...or be able to defend my position cos of mind always going blank.. or ive said sumthing offensive to the other person.....cos in islam ur not meant to hurt another person feelin


I keep thinkin my opioions dnt matter..what other ppl say is rty cos i dont have anything to say on the matter (again cos my mind goes blank) they opinion is important...i feel unless they agree to opinion my opinion doesnt matter or isnt correct..I dnot talk to ppl much becos i make a fool out of myself..always saying the wrg thing i feel inadequate....everybody keeps always telling me i dnt no anything.. the correct way to talk...to socialise...am always doing the wrg things...I prefer my company to other people...I dnt like talking alot..

At first i thought may be its good cos am like this..cos Allah say you shldnt argue..talk loudly...keep silent is good for you..but then i realiase maybe am deluding myself into misintrepreting what Allah is saying and using it as an excuse to justify my behaviour...


Recently i offered to babysit so that my mother nd sisters can go southall...i was gona go dan my mum would have to babaysit and i no she likes going southall so u offered to saty behind and look after the kids now the problem is that i feel bad for not going..i keep feeling they left me out. (which is not true cos i volutery)

I really am sick and tired of the person i am....and ive bin like this all my life only just discovered it now ....am all over the place ..i need advice on how to change myself