Advice about a friend and also me.

**anonymous** · 03-25-2012

I live away from home, completing my university education. I can't talk to my old friends at home about this and my family would not understand.
Hopefully, there's someone out there that's maybe experienced something similar in their life and can offer helpful advice.

Lately, I've been feeling really depressed and lonely. The only other person I ever share my thoughts with is my flat mate. But recently, we had an argument. It was silly and over something so trivial that I realised it was stupid and apologised before it got out of hand. And i've realised that any argument that we ever have, even if it is not my fault, I'm the one who always comes forward and apologizes. She tries to avoid the situation of confronting and even says 'its my pride at stake'. This is really beginning to frustrate me now. She told me a story of how she never spoke to her sister for a whole year. Anywho, analyzing this i know who i am living with so I always extend the hand of friendship when we do end up fighting.

We were really close in first year of university, doing everything together but now i see her getting involved with other girls that I can't hang out with mainly because their way of 'fun' is not 'halal' so to speak. It's come to a point where I just feel socially isolated and their are no other girls in my university that i am open with or speak to or simply start hanging out because then flatmate will thing I am isolating her. I've not left my apartment in over two months. Just been home studying and it's been really depressing me.

I don't know what it is, I don't hate her, I just hate the person she is becoming and the company she keeps these days., Should I even be caring about her that much? She's just a flat-mate to me, who i've been living with for one and half year now.

**tigerkhan** · 03-25-2012

hmm sometime u r with a person by chance, like roomate, colleague etc. u spent a lot of time (2-3-4 years) together and u think that u r just roomate not friends. but when u get seperated u feel u were not just roomate but u were friend. Its natural when ppl live together, either their personality doennot match each other but feelings can be developed by sharing one good and bad.
i think u like her so dont let her go away from u.
Allah swt knows the best.

**Muhammad** · 03-26-2012

sister,

I probably don't understand the situation fully, but I don't understand why you can't make friends with other sisters whilst maintaining a good relationship with your flatmate at the same time. You are free to befriend whom you wish, and in Islam there is a great emphasis on having good company because the people around you will have an influence on you. The university Islamic Society is usually a good starting place to meet and socialise with good people. Not sure what your experience has been with this. Regarding your flatmate, fulfil your responsibility as a Muslim towards her, but at the same time remember you have a responsibility to look after yourself also.