Salam everyone,

I am not sure if this has been already asked. But I need help. I have been battling this disease (binge-eating disorder) for more than 2 years. I am not in the position to be able to go to counseling. I dont have the support system around me as I live by myself right now in a new town. This illness controls my life. Every day I make a promise to be stronger, to not let food control me, but it does. I have tried many ways to overcome this - but I always fail. This time, I guess the main reason I am posting here is I need duas. Please. I am going to start a water fast tomorrow for 3 days inshallah. That is the only hope I have. I need your prayers in helping me get through this because I KNOW I am not strong enough. I have severe depression, anxiety, and mood disorders. I pray most days...but some days I have no strength to get up.

I am hoping by fasting, I'll be able to control these urges. I'd be able to overcome the need to eat for comfort and maybe start eating for necessity. I have gained a lot of weight the past few years because of this illness. I know many people think it's easy controllable - something like hunger. They blame the overweight people for being the way they are. They call us lazy. And we may be all those things. BUT I also know that a lot of the times, it feels like I have NO control over hunger. I get so hungry that I order online and just chomp away until I am so full, I want to die. This cycle happens every single day. I waste money on food I dont need and i dont even want...

Life is a test - I know that. But I also know I am better than this. My parents deserve a better daughter. I owe it to myself to become a better human being...and especially a better Muslim. Islam - it is everything to me. it may not seem like it with this illness, but my faith in Allah is what keeps me grounded, keeps me sane, keeps me from falling into this abyss of endless misery. But I am at the edge every single day and I am scared now.I am scared because it has gotten out of my control now. I cant afford to lose control - I have exams in 2 weeks, I cannot make myself study for them. Every single thing in my life comes down to my weight and food.

Sorry for rambling on and on...I just really need your duas. Please let me get through this.

I think the first step is this fast, I have read that it can help with the cravings, I am hoping once I am past the 3 days...I'd be ok. INSHALLAH. PLease make dua. Any advice will also be highly appreciated.