Recently, well it's been 3 months more or less, I had done Salat Istikhara about something. I was fully intending to do it. Then a series of events happened which gave me clear indications that I should not do it. But I still went ahead and did it anyway. I really did not know what to do, and something in me told me don't do it,still I was in such a state that I just went ahead and did it.
Ever since everything has changed. My whole life has turned upside down. Nothing is going as it should be going. And I am feeling myself change...What I wanted to do and now how it is happening is completely opposite. Try as I might I cannot feel any good about my situation. I am afraid Allah(swt) is punishing me for this one decision I took and now He will make things hard for me or will make my life take a complete direction. Try as I might I am not able to make the situation like it was before I did the Istikhara...And also I keep repeating Istikhara now but my heart is not in it. I feel like Allah(swt) won't help me now...
I really don't know where I am. I keep doing things which I would not normally do. Things keep happening in my life, all contrary to what was supposed to happen. And I am not able to accept it because I keep going back to that one decision I made and keep saying to myself you should not have done it, all the signs were there, you should have been patient and tolerated the situation for a while more.
I don't know where this is leading but I just want to be a good person and lead a good life, do my Salah etc, but I am afraid Allah(swt) will make it hard for me...I am so distressed, I don't feel in control of myself...I don't know where in all this I did wrong, I cannot understand and I am not able to focus on anything, even Salah because now I am afraid Allah(swt) won't help me...My faith, convictions, principles, opinions are just fading...What should I do? I feel bad because I am not able to trust Allah(swt)...I keep getting angry at Him, at myself, and everyone else. What's happening?? I have a feeling I may need to post other threads later since maybe I did not explain myself well...Thank you for answering..
There is a hadith which states to the effect that Allah is as we think him to be. So if we assume he is not going to help us then that is what will happen.
So you need to change your outlook. Talk to Allah as though he is a friend that will always come to your aid and rescue, regardless of what you may be experiencing. Have patience and submit to the will of Allah over your life. Allah is all wise and all events that occur in your life have a purpose, even if you don't realise the value of them at the time.
Allah is not a monster. If we make a mistake (and we all do), we simply needs to seek forgiveness and Allah in his infinite mercy will forgive if the repentance is sincere.
With regards to the specifics of istikhara, well it's just a means of seeking guidance. Looking at the dua:
0 Allah, I ask of You the good through Your knowledge and I ask You to grant me ability through Your power and beg Your favour of infinite bounty, for surely, You have power and I have none, You know all and I know nothing and You are the Knower of all that is hidden. 0 Allah if in Your knowledge, this matter be good for my faith (Din), my livelihood and the consequences of my affairs in the world and the Hereafter, then ordain it for me and facilitate it from me and grant me blessing in it. But, if in Your knowledge this matter is bad for my faith, my livelihood and the consequences of my affairs in the world and the Hereafter, then turn it away from me and turn me away from it and ordain for me the good wherever it be, and cause me to be pleased with it.
Pay careful attention to the words. It shows that you're asking Allah to take it away from you if it is bad for you in this world and the next. This means even if you go against what you felt, ultimately Allah knows best and it must have been that whatever you initially desired was bad for you.
Submit to the will of Allah, draw a line over the past and move on.
Thank you for your words...It gives me hope that I will somehow get out of all these things I am feeling...I needed to hear that Allah(swt) is all forgiving and will forgive me because I am feeling kinda a bit weird like I have bitten off more than I can chew...Peace!
Well it's a bit late...Allah(swt) has really turned events in my life...I guess I have to trust him and get on. But it makes me sad because I know what is going to happen now, it wasn't what was supposed to happen but what can one do against Him? After all, he knows everything, He is the all powerful, you can't fight him. I now pray for strength because I know it's not going to be easy...
The supplication of istikhara or the prayer of istikhara is one of the prayers that concern many people, and the reason for that is what this prayer brings - thanks to God - from the comfort of those who perform it from the Muslims, and its magic effect in facilitating the affairs of Muslims and facilitating their lives, in many times the servant is puzzled in many matters in His life, and he does not always find the answers that satisfy him from the people, and therefore he turns to his Lord, inviting him to help him in his matter and guide him to the right path. Hidden link removed
Last edited by AabiruSabeel; 02-04-2020 at 04:22 AM.
Reason: Hidden link removed
Happened with me.. I went against an istikhara to save some money.. Not only did i lose that amount im another way, i had the worst experience and most difficult time throughout the time period. But i say keep making dua. Allah will help.. Alwys. Going against istikhara does not mean we disobeyed Allah. I think it implies that God showed us the way He thinks is rigjt, but our free will still is intact
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