I just can't do this anymore

format_quote Originally Posted by anonymous

I don't feel happy with life - I don't feel praying makes it any better.

bro/sis,

You must be patient and be very grateful to Allah for whatever condition your in. Please look around at those less fortunate than you, and then ask yourself if life is really as bad as you think. At least you have the power to change yours. But millions of people round the world don't even have that right. I don't mean to hurt you, but remind you that lack of patience and ungratefulness can cause Allah to become angry with a person. Astaghfirullah, and there is no refuge from the wrath of Allah. Please make wudhu and offer two rakah nawafil. Then repent and ask Allah to help your affairs. I think there comes a point in everyone's life when they realize there is no power or might except Allah's.



Hunger



Homeless mother and baby - Orlando



Imprisonment and torture


Disease




Victims of war crimes



Sure makes me grateful with my lot. Al hamdulillah.

Asalaamu alaykum waRahmatullahi waBarakaatuh

When you become a Kafir (disbeliever) in your heart.. what do you do?

My Experiences:


Last year someone asked me a question about an anti-Islamic claim. No-one could answer it, so I looked for answers for it on other sites.

I noticed another brother who was famous for providing answers had also faced this question, but he himself couldn't find an answer for it. So he was confused for a while... - after alot of mental confusion he replied - 'I don't know, it's like now i'm only Muslim by name.''

This really shocked me. I wondered why this person had said this? What made him so confident in saying this when he could have kept this thought quietly in his head until he had improved his emaan and become a stronger Muslim?

Lately, I've seen this trend growing and it's really saddened me. People who I used to look upto have even fallen into this.



This is what I see:

1 - They start off with being really energetic when they newly start practising, then after around 2 years their emaan energy level drops.*

*NOTE: I have seen this trend because people when becoming 'newly practising Muslims';

i - first read the meaning of the Qur'an,
ii - then read the Biography of the Messenger of Allah (sal Allahu alayhi wasalam),
iii - then read the lives of the Salaf.
iv - Then they read what happens later on in our history, and forget to continuously read the meaning of the Quran and Biography of the Messenger for Guidance in their lives. This abandoning of the guidance leads the person to go into deeper parts of our history which involves Sects and Wars amongst Muslims. So this person gets confused and gets a harsh attitude - causing them to find religion a burden instead of a source of guidance and right-direction.

2 - Then they cannot reach that high level of emaan (which they had at the beginning), so they start becoming stressed out. They will try doing things to strengthen their emaan, so they will get short bursts of it - but it will go back to the low level again.

3 - They go Absent from the Islamic community (whether it's online or offline). (This slight distance from the Islamic community gets them more attached to the non-Islamic world.)


4 -They come back and either start freshly again, but most of the times they don't. Some even start getting interested into going into other sects (like Sufism) because they believe it is more spiritual. Sadly though, I have seen many people leaving Islam after joining a distorted version of Sufism for some time. (the praiseworthy ascetic Sufis are those who follow the Salaf (righteous earliest Muslims), the dispraised are those who oppose the Salaf's way).

- Alot of people who followed the wrong sect and went astray and left Islam altogether.

- Others leave Islam because they themselves couldn't find answers like the first brother mentioned in the article.

- Some expose their disbelief while others keep it quiet within themselves. But one thing is for sure, they are daring enough to admit their rebellion against Allah.





So we have to wonder, why is this? What is the root problem? And how can any of us fall into it?


Biggest Disease: I know for sure - the biggest problem for each of these people is that they do not have a strong relationship with Allah & they do NOT want to strengthen their relationship with Him. If they were really close to Allah with Islam, they would beg Allah for help in whatever they were confused in. They would cling onto Allah because they loved Him. But they didn't hope for Allah.. so Allah let them go...




Allah tells us that shaytaan said;

قَالَ فَبِعِزَّتِكَ لَأُغْوِيَنَّهُمْ أَجْمَعِينَ - إِلَّا عِبَادَكَ مِنْهُمُ الْمُخْلَصِينَ

[Iblees] said, "By your might, I will surely mislead them all. Except, among them, Your MukhliSeen slaves - (Quran Saad 38: 82-83)



MuKhliS is someone who;

- has IkhlaaS = Sincerety
- is KhaaliS = Pure (from sins and shirk.)


So if you have symptoms of low emaan, ask yourself this;

1 - When I do actions, am I doing it for the sake of Allah? If not, you're lacking IkhlaaS (sincerety) - and therefore you are exposed to shaytaan.

2 - Do you do sins which are bad? Then you are not being Pure (KhaaliS) to Allah, therefore you are exposed to shaytaan misguiding you.


Now when you had emaan, you felt strongly close to Allah and always in tranquility/calmness. But when it lowered, you probably started sinning, doing less good actions, or doing your actions less sincerely for Allah.

That caused you to go astray and lose that happiness, and if you never stayed persistent in trying to strengthen yourself in emaan (i.e. By begging Allah), then it would stay low and you would persistently feel miserable.



Allah tells us;

'O mankind! eat from the earth what is halaal (permissible) and pure , and do not follow the footsteps of shaytaan, surely he is for you especially a clear enemy' (Quran al Baqarah 2:68)

Why does Allah tell us to eat the Halaal, and why does He compare it to shaytaan's footsteps?

I have heard stories of knowledgeable Muslims who have left Islam secretly, and they do sins which have gone past all limits. This is a Proof that shaytaan exists, because when people leave Islam, they don't just start living their lives like they did before Islam, but they follow the footsteps of shaytaan in doing the worst of evils.

When emaan continues to drop, you go past ALL limits. If you have left the path of guidance, then the only other path is misguidance. If you are walking the path of misguidance while knowing the right path - how more evil can you get? This is exactly what Iblees (shaytaan) did after abandoning guidance, these are the footsteps of shaytaan.





2 stories:

There is a sister who says that she lowered in emaan and due to that, she went to a bad shop where they sell bad things. She said she felt no regret about it at all, except one fear. (which we will discuss soon)

I have also heard of another sister who was an Islamic teacher and she left her teaching job for another public job as a bad woman - sharing her sins recorded publicly.

You know what is meant by this, and this is why Allah tells us to eat the Halaal (permissible) and Pure things, and NOT to follow the footsteps of shaytaan. Because when people start sinning, they even forget to do the permissible and pure (like marriage), and they become fooled into and addicted to the Haraam (forbidden things) and impure things.



Symptoms:

These are the most common symptoms people get when they have this attitude. They are;

- being Emotionless
- falling into Extreme sin (rebellion)
- The path of Kufr (ungratefulness & disbelief).

So in some ways, they are worse than normal people who do not know the Guidance.





The Fear Safety Tool:

When people leave Islam after knowing its truthfulness, they follow their desires. But in its early stages, they feel really bad. One of the biggest things they feel is a constant fear and anxiety.

This fear and anxiety of destruction is your last safety tool and a massive blessing, without it you would have left Islam a long time ago. Yet Allah has given you abit of respite time to return.

If you lose this fear and continue on the wrong path - you will earn the wrath of Allah, and a gradual destruction which will reach you from where you don't expect. And you will never find safety except if you turn back to the guidance.



How do I use this Fear Safety Tool to my Advantage?

1 - You force yourself to beg Allah to help you out of this state. Whether you want to or not, even if Islam seems like an uphill struggle. Because you know that Islam is better than all other uphill struggles of life - it is the truth (even if all things don't make sense to you.)

You need to beg - otherwise you are in danger. This is your last means for safety. So ask Allah for safety, and to make His pleasure easy for you. Especially in sajdah (prostration) - the best position to recieve calmness in.

2 - Listen to nasheeds, or lectures which uplift your spirit. You know what increased you in emaan (faith) in the beginning, so revive those feelings through experiencing them again.

Mera dil badal dei (change my heart) nasheed by Junaid Jamshed is a good nasheed and is a prayer to Allah for help.
Or Talib al Habib's nasheeds are good.

All heart softening nasheeds which have a sincere du'a (wish) will be useful for you.


3 - Do NEW/refreshing Islamic activities which raise your rank in the sight of Allah:

You might be in situation similar to the brother mentioned at the beginning of this article who gave da'wah but his emaan didn't increase.

So what you need to do is pause the activity which is distracting you from Allah. Then do a good deed which freshens your emaan (faith).

I did Da'wah sometimes because i felt I had to benefit others with some knowledge I had. But non muslims reacted harshly and some time later I got exhausted and my emaan dropped too. So I wondered why my eman wasn't increasing if I am doing da'wah (calling to Allah) which is good?

The answer is: You're supposed to sustain your da'wah with good acts of worship (like salaah and du'a which connects you strongly and constantly to Allah.) Allah's Messenger (sal Allahu alayhi wasalam) was commanded with Tahajjud (night prayer when people sleep).

So pause your da'wah if your emaan is dropping and focus on yourself and Allah for a few days. Because your main priority is saving your OWN SELF from the fire. You know which things increase you in Emaan, so do them things.


Some common thoughts:

'I don't get the same emotions' - you know you feel 'alive', 'colorful', happy in a certain way when your emaan is strong. But when your emaan drops, you feel sad and gloomy, and depressed.

Then when you try to strengthen it, you feel you're not getting the same good emotions. So you wonder, what am I doing wrong?


Answer: You are doing something partially wrong which is preventing you from tranquility (sukoon). But you are doing something good to increase yourself in emaan, which is a proof of your sincerety to Allah. Sincerety is the secret to success with Allah.

If you sustain this good - hoping to make Allah happy, He will make you happy. So carry on doing the good, even if you feel you are not getting the same happiness yet, it will come. But to feel the full happiness - you will have to submit to Islam whole-heartedly just like you did when you tasted the full sweetness of emaan at the beginning.


My main point is: Don't judge your emaan on your 'inner feeling' alone, but judge it on how much good you are doing to make Allah happy.
If you keep it up, Allah will unveil this happiness to you because you showed your desperation and sincerety to Him.




Do New Fresh Good deeds to sustain your Emaan:

Emaan usually drops when you abandon good deeds, and you waste your time doing wasteful things which will not grow you spiritually. You have to seek closeness to Allah in everything you do, otherwise you will get closer to something else and you will gradually forget Allah. Then you will follow shaytaan and he will distance you even more from Allah and soon lead you to the hellfire.


What often encourages me to refresh my Emaan are the Ahadeeth Qudsi. And to turn to Allah in fear, hope, longing and repentance repeatedly.


إِنَّهُ لَا يَيْأَسُ مِن رَّوْحِ اللَّهِ إِلَّا الْقَوْمُ الْكَافِرُونَ
Indeed, no one despairs of relief (RawH) from Allah except the disbelieving people (kaafiroon)." - Surah Yusuf 12:87 -

The word RawH comes from the root word RaaHa which means 'Relaxation'. So no-one gives up of the relief and relaxation from Allah except the people who choose to be ungrateful/disbelieve (kufr) to Him.

This is why those who lose Emaan and don't care about getting close to Allah again - they will soon become ungrateful to Allah and soon become disbelievers (kaafiroon.)



Conclusion:

Symptoms of Disease:

1 - Lack of Sincerety.
2 - Laziness in doing good deeds.
3 - Lack of Purity (physical and spiritual)
4 - Sinful attitudes.

5 - Lack of personal space/time to increase yourself in Emaan. (maybe you spent too much time in da'wah that you exhausted yourself, and now you just need time to recover?)

6 - Wasting time in worthless activities which distance you from Allah, so they seem more pleasing to you and gradually you don't care even if you say evil about Allah - because you don't seek closeness to Him. (see example of this here; Quran al Maa'idah 5:64 ; Quran Fat-h 48:6)


Cures for the Disease:

1 - the Final Fear which Allah has put in your heart before a soon destruction. You HAVE to take advantage of this fear from Allah, if you ignore it - you will become the worst of criminals who earn Allah's wrath/anger.

2 - Begging Allah to save you from His anger and promising Him you will try your best to stay on this good path.

3 - Learning Qur'an, Arabic and seeing the character of Prophet Muhammad (sal Allahu alayhi wasalam) to gain certainty in the Miraculous Divine nature of the Qur'an (this certain knowledge will encourage you to stay firm on Islam.)

4 - Having good thoughts about Allah and reviving your hope in His Mercy, pleasure and reward of Paradise. Hoping from Allah that you can reach there someday.

5 - Making your own space and time to relax and reconsider which path is better for you.

6 - Listening to Heart softener and du'a (prayer) based nasheeds. They will relax your heart and reconnect you with Allah.

7 - Work gradually in small good deeds again, and try to earn the pleasure of Allah by showing Him your sincerety.

8 - Try not to fall into the same mistakes you did when you lost your emaan.

9 - Make du'a to Allah, remain thankful to Him. So when you want to talk to Allah, you make du'a. When you want Allah to talk to you, make short term and long term du'as.

Short term duas include small things like asking Allah to give you a happy day. So when you have a happy day - you feel thankful to Him and increase in emaan.

When your short term duas work, you know your long term duas/wishes have also been heard by Allah.


10 - Repeat this process throughout your life and continuously keep yourself busy with new fields of good deeds to keep yourself busy with good works until you face the reality (death), so when you meet your Provider - He will be happy with you and you will have mountains of good deeds which will hopefully be accepted by Him.


O Allah, turner of the hearts - keep my heart firm on your guidance and obedience, ameen!




Further Reading:

Ibn al Jawzi, Ibn al Qayyim - they are experts in explaining the sicknesses of the heart and the cures for it. Here's a good book you should download and read slowly;

Purification of the Soul: http://www.kalamullah.com/Books/Puri...nOfTheSoul.pdf

Please remember that you are worthy, no matter how your brother or anyone else treats you. Every human being is valuable in Allah's eyes.

format_quote Originally Posted by anonymous

I'm just so drained and tired and don't want to do anything. I don't pray five times a day because I feel Allah will not accept my dua and I feel it's so difficult to keep up with all five.

I am an angry bitter jealous person who knows how to push people away. This bitter has been developed through people hurting me so now I don't want anyone close to me.

My brother is just such a mean person to me
And always has been so I jut avoid him.. Yet he still makes comments and looks at me like I am some disgusting human being.

I can't get married - I was engaged to someone for three years and it broke off.

I feel life Is really at a dead end. I have no proposals, I feel alone.

hmmmmmmmm......Salaam ...have you read what i've been going through the past few years????????? i'm still goin through it!

i would like to trade with you.... you take on repeated criminal damage (broken windows, threatening phone calls, false allegations, car on fire), intimidation, lack of police support, deprived of your child, seeing myself and family members persecuted and disrespected in the community..... if you had the chance, would you trade...i have a good job, everyday im tempted to stoop to their levels... if i do, goodbye job, goodbye career, goodbye family, goodbye freedom, i'll be in jail.. instead for now everytime i go to see my daughter my house windows are smashed all the while a chunk of my salary goes towards my little girl's mother, to top it off i've been furloughed off... no job, just on payroll waiting to see if government will pay our 80% salaries out.... i force myself to say Alhamdulillah, im ashamed, deep down inside me im discontent... i didnt want life to be like this, yet i still have to live it either way... catch 22

read my post about my marriage.... going back some five or six years ago, the downturn started within first months of my marriage.... my outlook on society and life was so different then... i wish it didnt change and i wish i never got married to that girl.

remember me in your prayers .... trust me... theres people in situations far worse than not getting married when you want.....

I'm so sorry for all of your pain. I wish I could say that I could help, but I can't, all I can do is make dua which is what I'll do. Everything, including pain and happiness, in this life is temporary. It's only permanent in the next life inshallah

You should keep trying.

format_quote Originally Posted by truthseeker66

You should keep trying.

I agree with truthseeker. Inshallah, don't give up, seek help through patience and prayer