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Thread: Feel ashamed

  1. #1
    Marina-Aisha's Avatar
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    I dunno if I explained bout this but my mum isn't really been supportive since me converting to islam.. I was talkin to my sister maybe me Ahmed getting married abroad ( in the uk nika isn't recognised ) so my mum was like so who going I said just them she was like u will b covered them I said why r u embarrassed? Yea to b honey yes.. To hear that was like a dagger in my heart..she always makes jabs at my faith nw and sometimes so hard to take sometimes. It's not like I can just say to her shut up u don't know anything..why can't she just b happy for me? Sometimes I feel like I'm bring ungrateful to Allah t'ala he help me so much he made me Muslim he helped me through one of my hardest times in my life..I feel ashamed that I'm feeling such way.he knows everything so knows hw feeling right nw which makes it worse that I'm not happy with everything.
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    Re: Feel ashamed

    I think it's good that you are being very patient with your mum.. Especially since as muslims we have to be patient and grateful to them whether they're muslim or not. Parents are a blessing and sometimes they're part of our tribulation. So I think it's good that you've been patient

    I would suggest talking about religion with your mum but I think perhaps in your current situation it might be important to first simply be a good daughter. Win her heart so that InshaAllah she will be more open to your new found faith. You mention that you fear being ungrateful to Allah, one way to be grateful to Allah is to be grateful to one's parents

    "And We have enjoined on man (to be good) to his parents. In travail upon travail did his mother bear him, and in two years was his weaning. Show gratitude to Me and to thy parents; to Me is thy final goal." Surah Luqman 31:14

    Reflect upon the verse sis.. Isn't it interesting how we are commanded to show gratitude to Allah and our parents? A lot of Allah's blessing to us is through our parents, don't forget that sometimes it is tribulations too..

    I hope you will continue to remain patient and kind to her.. Perhaps when she sees the positive effect Islam has had on you she will want to learn more.. InshaAllah. Don't forget to make du'a after your salaah for guidance..
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  4. #3
    Abz2000's Avatar
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    Re: Feel ashamed

    It is wonderful that you are nice to her however I would personally refrain from over-conversing with her about the subject and trying to convince her right now as only negativity will bounce back, you need encouragement to do good, not to be patronised for it.
    And it seems you find more strength within yourself than from others.

    Old time da'ees almost always recommend that people who come from faithfully weak backgrounds refrain from trying to convince others of their new found treasure until they themselves are firm and well grounded in knowledge, because it only makes them feel discouraged and despised at a turning point in their lives,

    Peace,

    Your brother Abz


    خُذِ العَفوَ وَأمُر بِالعُرفِ وَأَعرِض عَنِ الجٰهِلينَ

    Hold to forgiveness; command what is right; But turn away from the ignorant.
    Quran 7:199




    وَعِبادُ الرَّحمٰنِ الَّذينَ يَمشونَ عَلَى الأَرضِ هَونًا وَإِذا خاطَبَهُمُ الجٰهِلونَ قالوا سَلٰمًا

    And the servants of The Most Gracious are those who walk on the earth in humility, and when the ignorant address them, they say, \"Peace!\";
    Quran 25:63

    There is also a good video of a similar scenario with Yvonne ridley and her mother on YouTube,
    The mother expresses her distaste of hijab while sitting in a church under a statue of the virgin Mary who is of course, wearing a hijab (sadly, I don't think they ever notice due to the Media conditioning and stereotyping).
    Just YouTube Yvonne Ridley mother.
    Last edited by Abz2000; 11-07-2012 at 10:37 PM.
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  5. #4
    Marina-Aisha's Avatar
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    Re: Feel ashamed

    Thank bro yea I always put my parents in my dua to open there hearts to islam, it strange cos I always thought my dad was gonna b the hard one. To b honest I'm not that close to my family I've always been the black sheep of family. I always do wot I think is right and follow my heart..it's just hard, when the prayer starts she says Wots that rubbish playing(lord forgive me) its hard to hear. It's not like I can have go at her for being so disrespectful as she's my mum u have obey ur parents. Maybe I'm being more depressed then usual as I haven't done salat in a week, salat always makes me feel better like Allah t'ala washes it out me..
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    Re: Feel ashamed

    I know how you feel! Salaah always helps me in putting things in proper perspectives, which often puts my heart at peace
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