i came across a girl profile on FaceBook and i was completely stunned. she is niqaabi sister and she is exactly what i am looking for. i message her but she is not replying either to my message or friend request. i am serious for her and i asked her to let me know if she is available and not engaged so that i can send proposal through proper channel. she lives near to my city but i dunno her family and their address. she is not replying neither she blocked me as i requested her that if she think its not possible or she is not willing, she can block me.
i am upset what i should do. i like her bcz she is practicing and she belong to same school of thought as me but she is not replying. please if someone can suggest what can i do in this situation.
thanks.
IB Forum Anonymous Account.
Available to those who wish to be anonymous in the Advice & Support section.
Abuse of the Anonymous System will NOT be tolerated!
You meet a girl and you thought she is the right women for your life. But when you tried to approach her she closed 'the door'. This was your experience, wasn't it?.
Young bro, this is the common experience of the men.
Ask married men. many of them had experience like this. But those experiences did not make them 'down'. They still continued their life, and finally they meet women who accepted them as husbands.
Insha Allah, in the future you will meet a woman who will be your wife.
But young bro, you need to learn how to approach someone properly. In your case I notice she 'closed her door' suddenly without thinking. There are two possibilities, she has been engaged (or maybe has been married), or, she regard your way to approach her as inappropriate.
Make this experience as good lesson, and continue your life again.
One more thing I have to say. If you want to get a niqabi sister as your wife, try to learn Islamic way to approach a potential wife. It's because niqabis are very religious.
u r rite bro. what upset me is not a closed door. i m not a fussy person and i openly ask her if she is engaged or not interested, she can simple block me or refuse me. but she is not replying even she didn't refuse my friend request and its pending. y is she not making me clear...
IB Forum Anonymous Account.
Available to those who wish to be anonymous in the Advice & Support section.
Abuse of the Anonymous System will NOT be tolerated!
you're in limbo, its the worst form of rejection. Never message sisters, always go through the appropriate avenues, and dont listen to the complaints of some of them when they say men have become timid, why dont they propose anymore, why aren't they aggressively pursuing marriage. The above does not apply to those who, to them, resemble sasquatch.
FInd a wife using halal avenues and if you get rejected then you got rejected, better to get rejected using halal avenues to find a wife than not using halal avenues.
u r rite bro. what upset me is not a closed door. i m not a fussy person and i openly ask her if she is engaged or not interested, she can simple block me or refuse me. but she is not replying even she didn't refuse my friend request and its pending. y is she not making me clear...
Refuse someone who 'knock the door' is not an easy thing, especially if person who knock the door look aggresive. In this situation, people prefer to close the door than say "No!, sorry".
Young bro, excuse me, from what I've noticed, your way to approach her was considered aggresive. This is why she chose to close the door instead of say "sorry".
But don't worry, the world is not as small as leaf, there are other women in the world. Continue your life and watch for other doors that still open.
Okay, let me share a little knowledge. If a woman refuse you after she thought and consider, it's because she think you are not the right man for her. Your fault in this matter is, you were failed to convince her that you can be a right man for her. But if a woman refuse you without thinking, it's because your way approaching her made her feel offended. Basically, women always consider the men who approach them, even if those men are not handsome and not rich, if those men approach them in the way that make them feel appreciated.
So, young bro, try to learn how to seek and approach future wife in proper way. And not against Islamic values, of course.
going to give my views as a woman, I'd not personally answer anyone from 'facebook' or other social medias. I had facebook for two weeks it was a cesspool of creeps - people I don't know never met, want nothing to do with were requesting to be friends, given that I am already not computer savvy and didn't know how to tighten the list of friends or friends through friends I just closed the entire account which btw I was forced to open in the first place by family members who requested to be in touch...
As the Arabic adage goes, if a door brings you strong gusts of winds then close it!
So I wouldn't take her rejection personally.
There are several other ways to find religious women other than Internet.Besides this even both Husband and Wife are different than each other in their views,they can still go together,this has been proven and will be proved again and again.
Generally speaking,I don't know from where this mentality came in 'religious' Muslims that in order to know there spouse,they should talk to her/him before.It does take a few sittings always more than one to find out others(Mahram-Non Mahram Issue ...who cares on a legit "date")My guess is from "Cute" or "IT" factor mindset we are getting from modern civilization.May Allah guides us all to the right path.
going to give my views as a woman, I'd not personally answer anyone from 'facebook' or other social medias.
I hope teen girls in my place can learn from you, sis. There are teen girls in Indonesia who were (are) missing after they made appointment and meet the guy who they know in Facebook. Some of them already back to the home after police hunted for them and arrest the guys who brought them for "sexual relationship with underage female". I cannot understand how easy those teen girls went to the bed with guys who they meet in Facebook.
By the way, in 2010 my friend made an 'experiment', he created few fake Facebook accounts which one of them made as girl account with foto of a beautiful girl. Few days later he showed me those fake accounts and I saw only that beautiful girl account that got request to be friend, which all of those request came from the guys.
Yaah, there are people who make Facebook as place to looking for someone.
i came across a girl profile on FaceBook and i was completely stunned. she is niqaabi sister and she is exactly what i am looking for. i message her but she is not replying either to my message or friend request. i am serious for her and i asked her to let me know if she is available and not engaged so that i can send proposal through proper channel. she lives near to my city but i dunno her family and their address. she is not replying neither she blocked me as i requested her that if she think its not possible or she is not willing, she can block me.
i am upset what i should do. i like her bcz she is practicing and she belong to same school of thought as me but she is not replying. please if someone can suggest what can i do in this situation.
thanks.
Wa-alaikumsalam,
Brother, facebook should not be the means to meet/ try to find a prospective spouse.
Perhaps place yourself in the sisters shoes for a little while - a complete stranger sees your profile and then 'hits' on you (by requesting to know if you are single or not).
You have created the impression of being the type of guy that surfs facebook, looking for new females to befriend (unfortunately, there are too many of these types around).
The fact that she has not responded to you is a good sign - shes not willing to converse with strange men, who are often just looking to fool around.
So good for her - mashaAllah, these types are not easy to find : )
I hope you will realise that for the future, this is not the correct avenue to take insha Allah.
If you are serious about marriage, then speak to your parents, elders in your family, friends and collegues - the best type of introductions are those made by someone who knows you and what you are looking for, and who has your best interests at heart.
And make duaa that Allah blesses you (and the rest of this ummah) with spouses who are righteous, faithful, loving and compatible.
There is no need to be upset about this - what is meant for you, will come your way. And what has never been decreed for you, will not touch you - despite your own desires and efforts.
There is ONLY good in WHATEVER Allah (subhanawataála) has decided for us.
Keep reminding yourself about this, and have trust that if our plans do not come to pass, then Allah has something even better for you, insha Allah....or He is warding you from a greater harm.
thank you so much bro and sis. i understand i should not approach her in that way but my bad. anyway im serious, is there any appropriate way to approach her...???
she lives in city i have worked for 3 years but i dunno her or his bothers who r on his FB account, and none of their contact. can i add her brother, he seems to be good and religious person and talk to him after making him friend? but i m fearing he don't mind as he is young man.
please suggest if there is some way out.
IB Forum Anonymous Account.
Available to those who wish to be anonymous in the Advice & Support section.
Abuse of the Anonymous System will NOT be tolerated!
thank you so much bro and sis. i understand i should not approach her in that way but my bad. anyway im serious, is there any appropriate way to approach her...???
she lives in city i have worked for 3 years but i dunno her or his bothers who r on his FB account, and none of their contact. can i add her brother, he seems to be good and religious person and talk to him after making him friend? but i m fearing he don't mind as he is young man.
please suggest if there is some way out.
Ask her young brother for his fathers contact details..if you are so adamant on marrying this girl.
If you're under 21 then I wouldn't put too much effort into this. I don't mean to belittle your feelings but:
- Looks are ok for a while but you have no idea what she is like as a person (niqab + same school of thought != great marriage)
- This isn't the only girl you'll look at and want to marry right away.
I just wanted to say, as a sister, that if she hasn't replied. It means no. I had this happen to me many times when I used to be on facebook, and it just creeped me out too much. I never saw facebook as some dating site, it was a place to keep touch with old friends etc, so any male who tried to approach me through there was an automatic turn down. Perhaps if the men had approached me through one of my family members I would have given it a second thought. Approaching a marriage prospect one on one isn't wise, it is always best to go through somebody. It is more respectful and chances a bit higher that the prospect will consider.
Her brother didn't add me..
i am not a teen not a dreamer but im a mature person(27). my heart is always controlled by mind and i am serious for her bcz i guess she is perfectly matching me. is there any way out, plzz bro and sis!
IB Forum Anonymous Account.
Available to those who wish to be anonymous in the Advice & Support section.
Abuse of the Anonymous System will NOT be tolerated!
Akhi, just let it go. It seems like she's not interested and I can see where she is coming from. Don't pull yourself to deep till you cannot find a way out, so I suggest you forget about her and make dua to Allah swt that you find a pious wife. If you keep persisting she will think you're a desperate so-and-so and that will do you no good.
Do not think of minor sins as insignificant,
for mountains are made out of pebbles...
Hey there! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.
When you create an account, we remember exactly what you've read, so you always come right back where you left off. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and share your thoughts. Sign Up
...who cares on a legit "date")My guess is from "Cute" or "IT" factor mindset we are getting from modern civilization.May Allah guides us all to the right path.
Hide
Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.
Bookmarks