Im 22 years old and about to graduate from university, which means THE PRESSURE OF MARRIAGE AWAITS ME.
I am a practicing muslimah have never had a boyfriend or even speak to boys. I hardly have any pracitising muslim friends and hardly socialise with others i like to keep myself to myself and i like it this way.
Now recently my mother has really started to get on my nerves with her constantly moaning about how i am old and how i need to get married and i just turned 22 in February i know i am not old and i still have a lot of time to get married. i have told my mother numerous amount of times that i do not want to get married, i want to work after i am graduated and be stable financially and mentally before i get married and start a family. Now because i said this i have now apparently become a (mind my language) a slag and a hoe. I no i am certainly not the things they call me, i value and respect my self and Allah swt to be any of those things. i feel unhappy living in this house and no one is listening to my wishes all they care about is their own wishes.
another reason why I do not want to marry their choices in guys, I one day inshallah want to marry a practising Muslim guy. The problem is my parents do not want me to get married to a practising pious man because apparently they are extremists. They keep finding me guys who have money who are big in status, every single person they have found for me is the opposite of what I want in a life partner they have no imaan no knowledge of Islam now I cannot marry a man who is not on the same level as me on faith. I would have agreed to there proposals but none are worthy Islamically for me they are only financially good which I do not care for. every time a proposal comes its like this is it for them like if I don't say yeah I have disgraced them.
​what should I do cause I want a pious man and they are choosing the opposite of what i want and i do not know any pious guys for me to marry.
Your case actually is a mindset conflict between a daughter with a modern mindset and a mother with traditional mindset.
As you say, you want to work after graduate, be stable financially and mentally before you get married and start a family. I guess, you are sure you can get a husband when you are in age 25-29. But your mother is thinking differently. She is afraid, if you don't marry now, then there is no man who want to marry you.
Your mother still have a mindset that a woman married by a man just because her beauty and age. In her point of view, now you are on the 'top condition' that can attract men to marry you. And if you don't get married now, then your value in the men eyes will be reduced due to getting older and beauty reduction (in your mother point of view). That's why your mother look panic and urge you to get married soon.
Sister, to be honest, I don't have idea how to talk to your parents. But I hope now you can understand the situation which can give you an idea how to talk to your parents.
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