Before i begin, i would like to point out that I do suffer from waswas. I have experienced doubt in my nikah extensively. I consulted two other sheikhs, a mufti and a knowledgeable person as well as my husband who read about kufr and everyone advised me that In Shaa Allah my nikah is valid.
Since I couldn't escape the uneasy feeling my husband advised me to pray Istikharar, which I did after Isha asking Allah Subhaanah Wa Ta'ala for a clear guidance and answer to my doubts. During dua I suddenly got a thought of somethings I have done in the past.. So I completed dua and researched this and found two articles explaining what is minor kufr which does not take one outside of Islam. I also consulted my husband and felt more secure that my nikah is In Shaa Allah valid.
However last night I saw a negative dream without going into much detail.
Finally this morning I was worried and confused regarding thw dream.. whether that was the answer or if it was a trap from shaytan. In my heart I began thinking that if a Mufti or Sheikh I had contacted regarding the issue of nikah would reply that this would be a clearer answer than trying to interpret a dream. Just as I was thinking this I got the email from a Mufti for my previous question of nikah and kufr saying that my iman is valid and to disregard negative thoughts. SubhanAllah. It was a repeat emsil that i had gotten before but for some reason it was redelivered to my inbox. I felt goosebumps as I had been really yearning for an answer like this.
Based on the above, is it okay for me to assume that I have received an answer or guidance that my nikah is valid In Shaa Allah. Should I dismiss the dream?
I am not a scholar. I think you should pay attention to the mufti's advice. As far as kufr is concerned, it has to be done with intention to take effect. Getting wiswas or thinking that you may have done kufr or getting kufr thoughts (which you didn't voice) don't invalidate your nikah. Furthermore, Islam is a very easygoing religion. From what i know, Prophet Muhammad (SAW)'s daughter Zainab (R) became Muslim before her husband. So, she had to get separation from him and migrate to Madina. Many years later, her husband also became Muslim. When he migrated to Madina, the two were reunited as husband and wife. From what I know, another nikah was not done. (Please correct if my information is wrong.) So, although initially their marriage was invalidated, but when her husband also became Muslim, the marriage was revalidated. Thus, we can derive that if you aren't becoming kafir intentionally, your marriage is still valid.
I see two parts here, first is the marriage question, as what sis Dreamin said, Islam is meant to be simple. The marriage procedure is relatively simple in its essence and as long as it is complied with, the akad, the dowry and the witnesses, it is valid. So, personally, I would not entertain those doubts in your head too much (as you said you are prone to was-was, at least it is good that you recognize this issue).
On the second part, istikarah, I am told that you cannot leave it open ended. It has to be a choice of A or B. Do I do something or do I not? Is it good for me or is it not? It should not be vague and wide as in 'I don't know what to do, please give me a sign' (what I should do)?. Or like I want to do some business and do istikarah to ask what business I should do, but more like I have this opportunity to do business, do I do it or not? Or I have plan A or Plan B, which one I should chose?
On another note here, I recall a story told to me about doing istakarah to determine suitability of partner and sometime after performing it, his feelings for her changed and the strong feelings he had earlier somehow disappeared. The marriage was called off much to the frustration of the potential wife.
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