Over the last few months, I started getting strong waswas about Prophet Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him). It first started regarding his wives and the thoughts were beyond awful.
However, after some time, I started thinking these thoughts myself as well on purpose. It happened quite often and it felt like a rebellious force overtakes me and I wouldn't care at all about thinking bad thoughts. I would think thoughts of Kufr or awful thoughts about Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) during Salaat or at other times. I would feel no regret at all in my heart and I would just tell myself that as long as I don't say it out loud, it's not a problem. I won't become kufr by JUST thinking this. This is what goes through my mind at the time when I am thinking all these Kufr thoughts. Even during prostration, such thoughts would be going through my mind. I know these thoughts are wrong, as in, I know that just because I am not saying it out loud, it doesn't mean I can just think Kufr thoughts whenever I feel. But there were times when this was not the case in my head....
Sometime later I would then feel regret over the thoughts. For instance during the entire Salaat I might be thinking such thoughts. I would say Auoozu Billahi and spit three times to the left and then go back to thinking these thoughts again. I would be thinking, I don't care, this can't hurt me etc. But then after Salaat ends, I would feel regret and make Dua to remove the impurity from my heart and my soul. What is that exactly? Is that what is meant by having to control your nafs?
Is this considered Kufr? Because they were evil thoughts I got on my own. Alhamdulillah it's better now because my husband advised me not to dwell on these thoughts anymore and that has helped me not to think it on my own as well. That and trying to gain more ilm. I am worried thought that this could be considered a kufr? Especially due to the no regret thing that occurs at the time. And I am always getting waswas about my nikah and thinking such things would invalidate it. Please help me.
I tend to go back to the basic of things in islam (as I understand it) and that would have to do with the intention behind the 'act'. Why is it done? In most cases we can get to the root of it. However, in this case, it is not a deliberate act (so to speak) but merely the act of 'complacency' to allow our thought process to drift along into areas not so healthy. Then we should ask why this it is not curbed? Is it curiosity?
I guess it would be a bit like allowing your eyes to stray. I often find myself staring blankly (not noticing sometimes I am doing it) and sometimes I just can't help myself. The proper thing to do is to stop and look away. If a place is not conducive, to get out of there, and not hang around there..
So your husband has advised you well, not to dwell on it. On your nikah etc, you really have to stop yourself frm these niggling questions. Just tell yourself it is valid and be done with it. After all the basic requirements were complied with, why should it be not valid?
Give yourself a break and concentrate on the positives in life and leave the negatives behind.
As long as my heart does beat, I shall live, not lie
For when my heart does stop its beat, with truth, I die.
Over the last few months, I started getting strong waswas about Prophet Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him). It first started regarding his wives and the thoughts were beyond awful.
However, after some time, I started thinking these thoughts myself as well on purpose. It happened quite often and it felt like a rebellious force overtakes me and I wouldn't care at all about thinking bad thoughts. I would think thoughts of Kufr or awful thoughts about Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) during Salaat or at other times. I would feel no regret at all in my heart and I would just tell myself that as long as I don't say it out loud, it's not a problem. I won't become kufr by JUST thinking this. This is what goes through my mind at the time when I am thinking all these Kufr thoughts. Even during prostration, such thoughts would be going through my mind. I know these thoughts are wrong, as in, I know that just because I am not saying it out loud, it doesn't mean I can just think Kufr thoughts whenever I feel. But there were times when this was not the case in my head....
Sometime later I would then feel regret over the thoughts. For instance during the entire Salaat I might be thinking such thoughts. I would say Auoozu Billahi and spit three times to the left and then go back to thinking these thoughts again. I would be thinking, I don't care, this can't hurt me etc. But then after Salaat ends, I would feel regret and make Dua to remove the impurity from my heart and my soul. What is that exactly? Is that what is meant by having to control your nafs?
Is this considered Kufr? Because they were evil thoughts I got on my own. Alhamdulillah it's better now because my husband advised me not to dwell on these thoughts anymore and that has helped me not to think it on my own as well. That and trying to gain more ilm. I am worried thought that this could be considered a kufr? Especially due to the no regret thing that occurs at the time. And I am always getting waswas about my nikah and thinking such things would invalidate it. Please help me.
Ask help from Allah. Everybody has thoughts and you maybe thought you want to test yourself or fight or get used to those thoughts and you are doing that for Allah. I sometimes think like that. Right now, I am more peaceful and calm than ever before. I pray everyday, and think good thoughts. You can read books. A great book you can download for free on Google is Reclaim Your Heart. Copy that title and add PDF. You'll see the title on the list of searches and with a little [PDF] on the right side before it. This book will heal you and put new thoughts and words that are positive, uplifting, enlightening, and healing. There are words from Allah himself from the Quran. Maybe there is something bad that had happened and it got attached to your thought about the prophet. We can reach Jannah. If we put our trust in Allah, he will always find for us a way in everything.
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