Who Do You Go To For Islamic Advice In Real Life?

**hisnameiszzz** · 02-04-2015

Salaams all,

I do hope you have all been keeping well. The weather has been so cold recently hasn't it?

I have a quick question for you. Who do you guys go to if you have a question/qualm about Islam or life in general in real life? Is there anyone you can approach? I've had to resort to emailing Muftis and Aalims but they never respond. They are probably busy with family and life etc but it's not really helpful for me. I've tried calling them again but they are almost always busy. Obviously, I could just hijack an Aalim after prayers in the Masjid but that would not be fair on them if they had to be somewhere and it would not really be private as there is just about everyone and his wife lurking around once prayers have finished.

I wish they had some kind of 1 2 1 sessions like Christians do where they go into that little box room and tell a vicar/priest about what they have done wrong and how to sort it out.

It would be nice to know what kind of support / advice other people have.

Jzk.

**InToTheRain** · 02-04-2015

Usually there is an office for imam of a mosque. Most times he should be in there alone so it maybe a good idea to see them after the prayer or when they are in the office between prayers. That should give you privacy and if he is busy you can arrange a time with him. If he can't answer then he should hook you up with someone that can Insha'Allah.

**BeTheChange** · 02-04-2015

Walaikumasalaam

yeah i know the feeling. I wish i had an individual i could approach but i don't. I resort to doing my own independent research - even though i would prefer a lady scholar or knowledgeable individual but don't know of anyone. It can be very disheartening but Allah swa knows best.

The masjids are mainly for the brothers so they have their own support network but there's nothing available for the sisters.

I have loads of books at home and use the net tbh.

If your in London there should be loads of support groups and people you can reach out to & especially because your a brother...?

**Abdullahh** · 02-05-2015

I've never really gone to anyone for advice, I tend to do my own research and form my own opinions on things (my independence actually led me to convert to Islam) and most of the things I learn about Islam I read from the Quran or other reliable sources.

**greenhill** · 02-05-2015

In most cases I find that the issues I have are not really anything anyone can give a 'solution' to apart from being someone there to listen .. These are more personal in nature and in very often relates to 'relationship' factors or people's behavior. Nothing can really be done as it does not entirely depend on you. An example would be how to deal with bullies... No single answer can do the trick unless overnight we transform into being Bruce Lee or something.

I tend to look for answers if I am unclear of a concept or when I hear differences of interpretations... By the way, it also advisable not t be comfortable with only one source.... (a bit tricky when it is difficult to even find the one).

All the best.

**فصيح الياسين** · 02-05-2015

Originally Posted by American Muslim

I've never really gone to anyone for advice, I tend to do my own research and form my own opinions on things (my independence actually led me to convert to Islam) and most of the things I learn about Islam I read from the Quran or other reliable sources.

But this would not be such good idea. To practice by urself.

I will advice. If its serious problem. So go as far for ig u can. And ask easiness from allah. Clear ur thoughts by telling alim or mufti only.!!!!

**hisnameiszzz** · 02-09-2015

Salaams all. Thanks so much for your responses. They really are very appreciated.

It's not always easy for brothers to approach an Imam or an Aalim in a Masjid. The Imams normally have their whole entourage with them and it's not always easy to speak in front of 5 or 10 people when you are shy like me. I guess I will just have to man up and ask for some one on one time so I can have a good discussion with the Imam.

Originally Posted by Protected Soul

If your in London there should be loads of support groups and people you can reach out to & especially because your a brother...?

Though support groups are many, I am not overly keen on approaching them. For all I know they could be following a different "version" of Islam. Let me give you an example. Someone I grew up with came out as being a gay man after he went to a "Muslim" support group who misinterpreted the Qura'an and said it was OK to be gay and there was nothing wrong with it. So he is now leading a life as a gay man and he thinks he is not doing anything wrong.

Also, I was not after any specific advice. I just meant a first port of call to ask questions to. A Jehova's Witness recently came knocking in our area and asked me "You believe in a God, so why are there so many wars in the world, and why are Muslims suffering? Does your God not care about you?" which had me totally stumped and I didn't have an answer to it.

Jazakallah all for your time.

**BeTheChange** · 02-09-2015

I don't think one can compare the level of suffering/happiness to how much Allah swa cares about us. If you look and analyse our Prophet saw life - it will literally bring you tears (whether your are an emotional person or not), our Prophet SAW suffered at the hands of his (SAW) tribe, people mocked him (SAW), people abused him (SAW), people attempted to kill him (SAW) etc.

Everything bad you can ever imagine happened to our Prophet SAW and how much does Allah swa love him (SAW)?

On the day of Qiymaat we will all be waiting for qiymaat to start - we will be dripping with sweat - worried about the day of qiymaat & the torture or the happiness that awaits for us. We will approach Adam PBUH as he (PBUH) is the first prophet. We will say O Adam PBUH please can you ask Allah swa to hurry the process and start the day of judgement as we cannot take this suspense. Adam PBUH will say to us no i cannot do this, i feel ashamed, i have sinned, i ate the forbidden apple. We will then go to the next prophet, and the next and the next etc until finally, we go to our beloved Prophet SAW who has a clean slate (Alhamdulilah) - Our prophet SAW will approach Allah swa and ask Allah swa to start Qiymaat and then with Allah swa permission - Qiymaat will start.

Look at the elevated status of our prophet saw and he endured sever hardships and was traumatised by mankind & look at how dear our prophet SAW is to Allah swa. By applying the comparison of

Happy = Allah swa loves me

Sad = Allah swa does not love me

Has no significance. We are to be tested and will be tested in this life. In a similar way use the education process as an example. we prepare, revise hard (or we should), stay up most of the nights, give up socialising etc to get ready for an exam. This takes a LOT of hard work, motivation, conviction in the system etc and the end result is a high grade. We don’t see the end result we can only hope for a high grade an in the same way we work hard for the next life in the hope of earning Jannah.

Allah swa is preparing us, cleaning our souls, removing all impurities to make us stronger, polishing us for the hardships that are yet to come. The state of the ummah is predictable - it has been foretold that we will live in such climates where the leaders of each country will attack, kill and torture muslims - so much so it would be like they are sat on a table eating away - eating at all Muslims and no one will say uff to them. This is the situation we are faced with. The value of a Muslim life is nothing compared to a non-muslim in the eyes of the Zionist but this is to be predicted as it has been foretold.

Allah swa loves us more than our mother - can we comprehend this? can we understand this? i know my brain fails to truly understand how much Allah loves us. Allah swa gives us so many chances after chances and yet we are still ungrateful and choose to be ignorant.

In terms of your friend, advise your friend about the story of Prophet LUT PBUH - homosexuality existed back then and will continue to exist until the day of judgement - advise your friend being gay is wrong etc and you will have done your faraz. Keep encouraging and advising him this is wrong and perhaps show him some useful articles.

I think it's also important not to follow people like sheep - we have been given a brain and we have to apply our wisdom to the knowledge that people present to us.

Keep praying to Allah swa for guidance - in sha Allah everything will be okay.

**BeTheChange** · 02-09-2015

Also, forgot to add if you feel you can't speak to the imaam in front of people that's okay - ask the imam if you can kindly have a quite private word with him if this suits you.

Am sure he won't mind in sha Allah.

**Aisha** · 02-10-2015

السّلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته

I'm sorry you're having this problem, it can be pretty awful if you have questions and no one who can answer.

Personally, I ask an Aalim in the family. Or if it's a complex question, such as the medical issues I've had recently, I phone Darul Iftaa in Leicester. Mufti Muhammad Ibn Adam Al-Kawthari is mashaAllah very knowledgeable. Check this link for info.
And finally, our local Masjid has an Ask Imaam section on the website where anyone can ask and they'll receive an email reply. These do get answered : )
Perhaps one of your local Masjids offer the same service?

I hope you manage to speak to someone inshaAllah.

**The-Deist** · 02-10-2015

Originally Posted by Protected Soul

We are to be tested and will be tested in this life.

Surah Al-Ankabut (The Spider)

29:2 Do the people think that they will be left to say, "We believe" and they will not be tried?

**hisnameiszzz** · 02-10-2015

Originally Posted by Aisha

السّلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته

I'm sorry you're having this problem, it can be pretty awful if you have questions and no one who can answer.

Personally, I ask an Aalim in the family. Or if it's a complex question, such as the medical issues I've had recently, I phone Darul Iftaa in Leicester. Mufti Muhammad Ibn Adam Al-Kawthari is mashaAllah very knowledgeable. Check this link for info.
And finally, our local Masjid has an Ask Imaam section on the website where anyone can ask and they'll receive an email reply. These do get answered : )
Perhaps one of your local Masjids offer the same service?

I hope you manage to speak to someone inshaAllah.

Salaams Aisha. I hope you are well.

Thanks for your response and to the others.

I have a few Aalims in the family but some of the questions I have will probably raise eyebrows and I would prefer to do ask someone who is not related to me. For example, my family has been having a lot of issues with our nightmare neighbours and sometimes I get a few crazy questions in my mind such as "why us?", "why constantly us over the last 7 years or so?", "can't someone else have some trials and tribulations for a while?" etc. I know "everyone" will be thinking "oh not again" but sleep deprivation can have catastrophic effects and the mind does sometimes go bonkers which in my case it has done.

Back to the point. Thanks for the link re: the Aalim, I will definitely give it a shot. And I must admit I am very jealous you have the online ask a question service. Our Masjid has phone numbers for all the Aalims but none of the numbers work and if they do, you never get a response which is a shame because in this day and age, I know a lot of brothers and sisters will have questions they would like to ask but there is no facility to do it.

**Eien** · 02-10-2015

Where I go to for guidance when I have questions: The Quran, Ustadh Nouman Ali Khan's youtube videos, peacethought dot com (can't post links), and various other videos/websites

I already wrote a rather long response to this post that, unfortunately, somehow wasn't posted and was not recovered by auto-save.

My main point was that community is something we can learn to improve our feeling of ummah by observing our Christian neighboors. When visiting churches(Protestant, Church of Christ, Menonite), I feel a great sense of welcome coming from both the congregation as well as the pastor. I have not experienced this feeling at the masjids I have attended for the most part. Partially it is to do with the gender segregation and bias, I am sure it is not as noticeable if one is a male. I believe imaams should do more of what I see pastors doing and traverse among the community, discussing topics and just checking on people. They should also make the effort to invite others to discuss matters with them in group settings or privately. I believe it is one of the duties of those holding positions as religious leaders.

**ardianto** · 02-13-2015

Wa'alaikumsalam

One day I had question about motorcycle. Then I visited a small motorcycle repair shop and asked the owner. Another day I had question about Ibadah. So I visited that motorcycle repair shop again and asked the owner.

Asking about Islam to the repair shop owner?. Yes. But I asked it in his capacity as Islamic teacher. He is a Islamic teacher who teaches Islam to his students, giving lecture, and giving khutbah in masjid. But why he must make money through repair shop?. He must fulfill his family need. His income from teaching Islam is very low because basically he teaches Islam voluntary, not to make money.

He is not the only Islamic teacher who I visit when I have question about Islam. There are few other Islamic teachers. And just like him, those Islamic teachers also fulfill their families needs through small business.

Where I can meet them?. In their working place, when they are not busy. Indeed, ask them in masjid is not as easy as ask them in their working place.