I am pretty sure I got rid of my Islam. I was just thinking about my Allah and then I started getting doubts and then purposefully thought kufr and now I want to die!
I don't want to live no more I killed my Islam because of my sins and now the kufr I have had! I don't know what to do I am super depressed and hurting myself because look at me I have had waswas and now I don't know if I made the the thought or not but I'm pretty sure it was me.
I always thought bad things and hypocritical things against my Islam I always said bad things when asking Allah to guide me towards Islam I think of the opposite. I want to be a Muslim I don't want to lose the one thing that made me happy. I just want to kill myself and I think I should cause now when I say good my heart feels empty and my heart is dead so why should I weep when it was all my fault I should just end it. I feel empty and it's all my fault
Last edited by TheLostSoul; 05-23-2016 at 12:27 PM.
It takes time, it takes everything out of you to even believe it will get better
The process is not as easy as you make it out to be.
Do you think people want to be deppressed and feel sorry for themselves, not being able to do what they use to before and cant bare to go outside or do anything
Some suffer in silence others are more able to speak about it.
Many people with Deppression can border line ptsd and have anxiety wich links with very traumatic experiences they cannot deal with or are finding extremely difficult to deal with such as
loss of life
Abuse
Sexual abuse
Rape
Mental abuse
Traumatic experiences!
The fact you make it out like the person "just" does this shows you havent been in that situtation, so will never be able to comprehend what exactly it takes to do some of the most simple things in life that you (and everyone) else are able to do without batting a eyelid and im literally directing this to anyone else who thinks the same as you.
What you may think is easy, someone else could find it absolutely terrifying to deal with and not be able to cope, vise vera
We all deal with things different and how you or anyone else copes is not always the best way for another person
Inshallah I never go through that. I know I'm putting it simpler than it is and I don't mean to use the word "just" like they have a choice in the matter but perhaps this is just because I don't understand what it feels like. When I'm feeling sad I go shopping haha. I know there are millions who suffer with depression so I guess until I experience it I'll never fully understand what they feel like.
Inshallah I never go through that. I know I'm putting it simpler than it is and I don't mean to use the word "just" like they have a choice in the matter but perhaps this is just because I don't understand what it feels like. When I'm feeling sad I go shopping haha. I know there are millions who suffer with depression so I guess until I experience it I'll never fully understand what they feel like.
My god I'd make a terrible counsellor lol
In sha Allah
Id wish no-one to go through it, as its a hard and painfull, sometimes lonely process.
Yea some people use shopping, as a means to replace what they lost in a kinda fulfilling way which fills a missing gap that never gets filled but "feels good"... oviously most people dont have the means to do that so, they have to stick with what they have and cope.
Yea you and a whole load of people wouldn't cut it at all LOL
When it comes to these situations we have to think carefully how we may come across to them, as we dont know what kind of state they are in
Some are virtually on the edge and a harsh comment can send them over the edge.
Some just need anybody to just listen to them and be kind and friendly and just help them
Isolating them further with harsh words, judgemental views and just plain coldness is a recipe for disaster, yes they need to hear the truth and reality but there is always a better time & way to say it when they are thinking better and more stable minded to realise these things.
Narrated Jubair ibn Mut’im: The Messenger of Allah (S.A.W), said: "He is not one us who calls for `Asabiyah, (nationalism/tribalism) or who fights for `Asabiyah or who dies for `Asabiyah." [Sunan Abu Dawud (Vol. 2, pg. 753) No. 5121]
Salaam
I have been following the advice and started reading and listening to lectures/Quran however I feel doubts and kufr still around my heart like I am about to fall into it or lose my Islam. Even though I say out of my mouth I don't want to and beg Allah. Is this trickery of the shaytan trying to think I want to lose my Islam?
Salaam
I have been following the advice and started reading and listening to lectures/Quran however I feel doubts and kufr still around my heart like I am about to fall into it or lose my Islam. Even though I say out of my mouth I don't want to and beg Allah. Is this trickery of the shaytan trying to think I want to lose my Islam?
Everyone has ups and down brother. Shaitaan is just portraying your doubts to be much greater than what they really are. Just continue reading Quran and ask the questions which bother you. Ask yourself which thing bothers you about Islamic concepts and clear those things. Don't get overwhelmed by just the "feeling" of being kafir, rather ask questions and clear your doubts
Salaam
I have been following the advice and started reading and listening to lectures/Quran however I feel doubts and kufr still around my heart like I am about to fall into it or lose my Islam. Even though I say out of my mouth I don't want to and beg Allah. Is this trickery of the shaytan trying to think I want to lose my Islam?
It takes some time, it doesnt happen overnight, just fill your heart with everything islam. Keep doing what your doing mashAllah and slowly increase it everyday or however your able to and in sha Allah your heart will find ease.
If those thoughts come to you seek refuge in Allah from the shaytan as many times as you need to rid the thoughts from your head.
Yes brother is it definitely shaytan to make you doubt yourself to push you further from Allah and despair.
These are the tricks of shaytan
Keep firm on your belief of Allah, His endless power, His oneness, His mercy, His wrath
Just keep believing in yourself that your stronger than shaytan and he cannot take you away from Allah, keep telling yourself this and believe it, have firm conviction you are a slave of Allah and you only wish to please Allah NOT the shaytan as he is a clear enemy.
Trust me brother just keep up what your doing, slowly increase it and in sha Allah it will get better, but you have to believe and have firm conviction your heart belongs to Allah
Narrated Jubair ibn Mut’im: The Messenger of Allah (S.A.W), said: "He is not one us who calls for `Asabiyah, (nationalism/tribalism) or who fights for `Asabiyah or who dies for `Asabiyah." [Sunan Abu Dawud (Vol. 2, pg. 753) No. 5121]
Well I want full convictions and heart. But I have doubts that I shouldn't have lol. Long story short I have witnessed the truth of Allah multiple times things that 100% clearly shows Allah is real. But since the waswas my heart has been ignoring it for no reason. There is no reason for me to doubt but my heart is being illogical and stupid trying to make me fail however I say good things but I say it with doubt for some reason.
Back when I was younger I have witnessed an exorcism. I was right there and it was right there I saw the power of the Quran. I saw how strong it was and how it burned evil. I have had days when I ponder about the after life and how the fear of Allah hit me in my heart and I loved that feeling. But ever since the waswas started I damaged myself over time.
Last edited by TheLostSoul; 05-24-2016 at 10:41 AM.
Quick question I was wondering when I say something out my mouth my mind thinks or something negative about Allah however I say the opposite by tongue. Am I sinful or am I forgiven for the kufr said in my head?
Quick question I was wondering when I say something out my mouth my mind thinks or something negative about Allah however I say the opposite by tongue. Am I sinful or am I forgiven for the kufr said in my head?
Dude, all mankind has done is benefiting from what Allah SWT has created. The new ideas, etc. are all inspired by what Allah SWT has created. Mankind has created nothing, all they have done is imitate what Allah SWT has created. Or have been inspired by what Allah SWT has created.
All mankind has done is destroy nature - a creation of Allah SWT. Nature is a perfect system created by Allah SWT but mankind destroys it. The new technology and ideas, and medicine is by inspiration of what is around us.
Which shows - we know nothing except for what Allah SWT has given us of knowledge - but the disbelievers keep falsifying, wandering in confusion.
All mankind has done is destroy nature - a creation of Allah SWT. Nature is a perfect system created by Allah SWT but mankind destroys it. The new technology and ideas, and medicine is by inspiration of what is around us.
I thought you said everything is by the will of Allah though? So if we destroyed the planets environment it's because Allah willed it? Dude I still don't understand free will lol.
I thought you said everything is by the will of Allah though? So if we destroyed the planets environment it's because Allah willed it? Dude I still don't understand free will lol.
Exactly.
Basically Allah has given us freedom to make decisions.
But truly WE cannot actually do anything.
Take for example lifting your finger to type.
When you want to lift your finger your can.
So to you it seems to you that you control your finger lifting.
However this is not so.
You want to lift your finger, and Allah allows that to happen.
The physiological processes for even the most basic neuromotor movements are insanely complex. I could go into detail about the process but this is not really the place for that.
Similarly if we want to destroy the planet, Allah fulfills our desire for that to happen.
Because for this short while we are given free reign to do what we like without any oversight or supervision.
Allah has told us and guided us as to what is right and wrong, and we are free to make decisions to follow right or wrong.
And ultimately we answer for our bad deeds and are rewarded for out good deeds at the end of the exam, on the day of judgement, when our deeds will be brought before us.
As as a very obtusely fitting but generalized example:
say you are a parent.
You have taught your child right from wrong.
And for a short time, say a brief moment you seem to not be watching, you've taken a step back. But of course left a controlled environment, but they don't know that.
The child is allowed to do as he/she wishes.
They think you are not watching, but you are the one allowing their decisions to happen.
After the time period you come back and reward them for doing good, or punish them fairly for committing wrong.
I thought you said everything is by the will of Allah though? So if we destroyed the planets environment it's because Allah willed it? Dude I still don't understand free will lol.
Yes, and it is true. Everything runs by the will of Allah SWT. It is essential to believe that - as it is part of Tawheed. None can harm us, except by what Allah SWT wills.
@Cpt.America explains it nicely.
Whatever happens, Allah SWT willed it, cause none can outwill Allah SWT. - It is part of Qadr.
Remember, Allah SWT knows everything, so what we will, Allah SWT willed.
May Allah SWT forgive me if wrong, but everything and everyone, whether Muslim or kafir, obeys Allah SWT's Universal will. But only the believers obey His SWT's Legislative will.
If a murderer killed children, Allah SWT willed it and decreed. Whatever Firawn did, Allah SWT willed it and decreed it.
BUT, one must not say "ok then, I can steal and blame Allah SWT" nope, cause Allah SWT gave you free will, so whatever you do, is attributed to you. you can not blame Allah SWT. Blaming Allah SWT shows one's misunderstanding of Qadr.
So in short
Whatever we do, Allah SWT willed. But that doesn't get attributed to Allah SWT. you can't say "I kill people, Allah SWT willed it, therefore Allah SWT did it" NO. Haram, and is kufr, cause Allah SWT does not command evil. one may disobey or obey Allah SWT's will. But none can disobey Allah SWT's Universal will.
May Allah SWT grant you and all of us understanding. Ameen.
Things are worse than before. I'm at the end of the line I am going insane with doubts and kufr thoughts that I never wanted and even when reading the Quran it's going and down. I'm getting super depressed why am I doubting Islam why can't my heart just open up. I have tears I am holding back but I have literally reached mentally insane status. I begged for guidance but my heart is evil.
Last edited by TheLostSoul; 05-25-2016 at 12:08 PM.
Things are worse than before. I'm at the end of the line I am going insane with doubts and kufr thoughts that I never wanted and even when reading the Quran it's going and down.
I feel we can help better if you tell us explicitly about what the doubts are actually. Otherwise we can help only in general terms and motivate you, which will not be that much helpful
Like I doubt my creator and Islam in general even though I agree that the world hasn't been created at random and I say that Allah has created the world. Why do I doubt the existence? Why do I doubt the Quran when I know its truthful and has no contradictions?
Why do such evil exist and because my ignorance I am losing my islam. I don't want doubt why does evil exist why do i have to suffer the pain of hell when I don't want to?
Last edited by TheLostSoul; 05-25-2016 at 12:18 PM.
These doubts are foolish yet I am being brought down to the ground and it doesn't seem to be improving. I am just losing it all I was destined to be a failure since birth then what was the point of me living? I want to improve
These doubts are foolish yet I am being brought down to the ground and it doesn't seem to be improving?
Look no doubt is foolish. Human mind is designed to ask questions. You are just letting yourself down by confusing the "questions" with "doubts". Asking and questioning does not show that you don't believe or does not have iman. It just tells that you are trying to explore the reality of things.
It's just I hate this. I hate this empty feeling it brings me to tear everytime I think of those day when my iman was great and my heart was open. I try to emulate it but my heart is just pure evil and I hate it! I have been asking for guidance I have been asking for my evil to be destroyed and for my ego to be removed.
Strangely enough after I said my problem on here my doubts went and it felt like weight has been lifted of my chest.... Which I also don't understand....
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