Salam brothers and sisters.
I know this is very bad and sounds weird perhaps.
it has indeed been a long time since I have prayed. However I still give my thanks to Allah for many many things he has granted me in this life. I always think of Allah.
Because of unfortunate hardships recently I feel that Allah has left me/closed the door on me and I do blame myself.
Yesterday I prayed tahajjud after midnight. I repented, I begged and ask for forgiveness from Allah for all my bad sins. I prayed for this world to come together and to make all Muslims safe from evil and to get rid of any and all shaytans, especially from me. I promised to Allah I will never do the wrong doings I had done and feel so remorseful and ashamed.
Even when I want to bed and just saying "Allah akbar" and going to sleep, I still felt nothing. Even right now, I feel nothing. I am so down and depressed (and have been for a while). I feel like Allah does not care for me or want me (and I don't blame him either).
Brothers and sisters, what do I do? I feel so alone.
Have patience, perseverance, and faith friend. You are aware of something you knowingly neglected. But you are headed in a better direction now it seems. Your conscience is eating you up it seems, and though it is painful, it is a blessing. Think how lost you would be with no shame, remorse, or knowledge of what you did or didn't do.
The conscience, being put overly simple, is similar to nerves and physical pain. If you cause damage to your flesh then your nerves send a signal of pain to your brain in an effort to make you change what you are doing for your bodies sake. The conscience works the same for spiritual direction.
I believe there to be much more to it than that, but I'm just describing it in a simple way for reference. If you have truly repented then be patient with Faith that GOD knows your heart. This test could go on until you physically die. Are you prepared for this emptiness? This loss of feeling? Be still. You have shame, now have hope.
Patience, perseverance,
Faith.
Remember and keep what you know close at all times.
Hey there! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.
When you create an account, we remember exactly what you've read, so you always come right back where you left off. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and share your thoughts. Sign Up
Quote
Hide
Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.
Bookmarks