Regret my past and now filled with fear :(:(

Salam alaykum

Be patient dear sister. Here are many caring sisters whose will give you their advices (but they aren´t here at the moment).

( And I´m too tired to think by English. but I make dua that everything goes well in your life.)

Most members are UK based, they are either eating dinner right now or doing whatever you do around 8pm.

In the mean time, check this out inshallah:


Sins and its effects : https://islamqa.info/en/23425

Greetings and peace be with you noora95;

Pray first, then the only advice I can think of, would be to tell your mum on her own. From what you say, it seems your mum is going to hear fairly soon anyway, and it might be better coming from you first.

Anyway, feel free to ignore my suggestion, I don't know your family.

Blessings.
Eric

I did not read your post more than few sentences firstly understand that EXPOSING ones sins (even anonymously) is a BIGGER SIN . from here

http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthrea...r-Wisdom/page2 post # 55.

SINS OF FAULT FINDING & SPREADING INDECENCY

Even sahabas used to worry about past and present sins which we may not know ourselves . We saw Prophet used to rush to majid if there was a strong wind thinking Allahs adab or torment has arrived. So Why the sinless one feared too ? Because we all have to fear for Torment of Allah even if we do not do sins since Allah can do anything with us and thats in his power & right but Allah's mercy prevails over his wrath is what Allah says. So Keep hope on Allah too since loosing hope on the mercy of Allah is a trait of Mushrik.

format_quote Originally Posted by AshaAsha

I believe If anyone realise his or her mistake and know where was wrong that's a positive sign for the future .....
Shearing with Mom is good because Sooner later your Mom will know the truth and if it's from someone else then she herts more and will lose faith on you better to tell her.....
It's just a suggestion ,
Bless you

she already betrayed the trust of her family and did all that behind their back. What's there to loose faith about now? they may find out sooner or later from others. Either she can come clean with her mom or she can hope they don't find out at all.

I think she should also go to the wedding. She's better of meeting that person and patching things up with her. This way she can also show that she has changed and not living that kuffar lifestyle anymore and the other girl may be mindful of that and not go around saying about her haram ways.

format_quote Originally Posted by talibilm

I did not read more than few sentences firstly understand that EXPOSING ones sins (even anonymously) is a BIGGER SIN . from here

http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthrea...r-Wisdom/page2 post # 55.

So what are you suggesting by this post? show this to the girl? that will do very little. People don't care about that when they have beef with you. More over, they'll be like "why do you care about that now, you should've thought of it before you went and did all that. "

Also, there is a difference between exposing sins and revealing the truth. If you go around telling others then you are exposing sins, if someone asks you (let's say for marriage) and you know the truth then you shouldn't lie to them and mislead them either.

You should stop worring things which haven´t happened and maybe never happen (I mean does this person tells gossips about you or not). It´s hard and difficult but it´s part of our life and growing up process.

You wrote that you had minor fight 2 years ago. 2 years ago: she might forgot your minor fight already - two years is actually a long time (not sure your age but I think you are still quite young) in your age.

If you meet this person in wedding, smile and be friendly. If she starts to talk about your past, tell how happy you are when you have found Islam again and modern way of life. And wish same to her too - friendly of course. Person has to be very hard-hearted if wants to hurt someone who is kind and friendly.

Think that your fear is a test from Allah. Trust Him in this matter and you will learn to trust Him also in every times in your future life when you have problems and fears.

And as I wrote before, I make dua that everything goes well.

What I like to add, if this person you are worry still remember your fight, be polite and ask sorry if you hurted her. Tell you have grown up and understand you life better. But I am sure you knew this already.

I read your post. Speaking clearly, in the beginning I became scared and worried of a fact that happens due to relations between a man and a woman or girl i.e. pregnancy!!! But later I thought that was not the case. So you must be very thankful to Allah Who has already protected you. Now you are remembring Allah, making salaat and reading Quraan, so you must keep it on and do lots of astaghfaar. Don't tell your mother or any person. If Allah has protected you and has covered you until now, thus Allah azza wa Jall will protect you in future. Trust Allah, obey HIM by salaat and dhikar. Give sadaqah and obligatory charity if due on you. Fear Allah and trust Allah. Surely allah will make a cause to take your grief away insha-Allah. Either due to some reason you will remain away from the wedding or that girl will not be there. Even if she is there she will forget bad things about you and you will be surprised to see that the situation is rather pleasing to you!! Allah is Muqallibal-quloob (the One who chages hearts). So insha -Allah you will be safe and happy. Trust Allah and ask du'aa with full hope. Don't listen to Shaitan who tries to make you hopeless. Remember that lack of good hope from Allah is kufar (unbelief), so get rid of hopelessness. But keep your prayers, pious life and reading and understanding the Holy Quraan. Charity (sadaqah to a poor person removes Allah's anger!

format_quote Originally Posted by noora95

Guys! Telling my mother is NOT AN OPTION!
I know my mother very well and she is very cultural and traditional. I know 10000% she will never understand and she will go crazy. I will never ever ever tell her in a million years! I cant do it. If i do it im asking for my life to be misarble! She can never know that ai had haram relationship with a guy. She will tell my father and my life will be living hell. So theres really no option for me to tell her.

I also heard that when you do something bad and sin in Islam, but if you truly regret Allah SWT will forgive and conceal your sins from public?

I read your post. Speaking clearly, in the beginning I became scared and worried of a fact that happens due to relations between a man and a woman or girl i.e. pregnancy!!! But later I thought that was not the case. So you must be very thankful to Allah Who has already protected you. Now you are remembring Allah, making salaat and reading Quraan, so you must keep it on and do lots of astaghfaar. Don't tell your mother or any person. If Allah has protected you and has covered you until now, thus Allah azza wa Jall will protect you in future. Trust Allah, obey HIM by salaat and dhikar. Give sadaqah and obligatory charity if due on you. Fear Allah and trust Allah. Surely Allah will make a cause to take your grief away insha-Allah. Either due to some reason you will remain away from the wedding or that girl will not be there. Even if she is there she will forget bad things about you and you will be surprised to see that the situation is rather pleasing to you!! Allah is Muqallibal-quloob (the One who chages hearts). So insha -Allah you will be safe and happy. Trust Allah and ask du'aa with full hope. Don't listen to Shaitan who tries to make you hopeless. Remember that lack of good hope from Allah is kufar (unbelief), so get rid of hopelessness. But keep your prayers, pious life and reading and understanding the Holy Quraan. Charity (sadaqah) to a poor person removes Allah's anger!