Having waswasa pls help....

My family is part of the Gulen movement, and many people I know and many of my relatives have suffered as a result, since Gulenists are persecuted in Turkey under the false pretense that they are a parallel state and were responsible for the failed military coup attempt on july 15......i have nowhere to go....when i go to gulenist meetings, i am not accepted, because i have a bad reputation for causing trouble as a preteen and younger teen at camps (which lead to me being banned, when my friend was being bullied and i defended him at a camp, and when we were finally leaving we had to stay a week longer due to a kid losing his iphone, and i lied and said i threw it in the lake, and they caught on), and for trying to date the girls and for trying to befriend the kids since I cannot relate to my peers......there are many gulenists who hate me and who I am afraid of.........and i am conflicted about some of their teachings.....
on the other hand, i recognize there is injustice going on against gulenists, such as the imprisonment, torture, and rape of journalists, judges, professors, and schoolteachers in turkey's prisons.....so when i tried reaching out to a local masjid, i met a turkish man who claimed we were responsible for the failed coup, and that scared me, as i mentioned in a previous thread......also, i am confused as to what sect i want to join......and i have many doubts over such practices as extreme gender segregation, saying that all disbelievers will enter hell forever, and that women need to wear the hijab in the west to "avoid attention" when it only causes hatred towards them, including violence, and I believe it is possible to dress modestly without wearing hijab, the idea that it is not idolatry to bow down before the kaa'ba, the idea that the Torah was corrupted when it is impermissible in Judaism to change even a single letter of the Torah...and the belief that it was justified to slaughter all the men and pubescent boys of banu qurayzah, all because their leaders committed treason.....why would you kill a 12 year old boy for the crimes of his parents' leaders EDIT: I also read political commentators saying a Turkish secular, Kemalist, ultra nationalist named Dogu Perincek will likely take over in a coup as he is building up his forced and filling positions in the army and state, and if he takes control Turkey will be like it was under Ataturk, and that is unIslamic, yet I feel it is the only solution