i want to make everyone happy my mother and the rest of the family i want to make them proud of me but am so useless at things
i dont work due to mental health problems i have no children but i view my cats as my babies
av never acheved any thing in my life that is worth anything i got to help the rest of the family happy
so i can see the young family members i got to be good or i will not see them
I HAVE TO DO WHAT MY BIGOTED MOTHER WANTS ME TO DO I know she does it out of love but she also does it for herself mostly
my mother is narcissistic and sometimes abusive and at the moment i hardly see her as she makes me feel like poop when av been at her when everyone else is out the room she pic me on things and she uses your feeling to her advantage
My mother thinks am christian i need to hide the fact am Muslim from her until am emotionally able to deal with her
i go and see her once a month and that its sometimes longer than that Its exhausting and makes me feel suicidal but i know that Allah loves me ...almost made the biggest mistake ever i looked at christian stuff when i should have been listen to ALLAH WORDS THE HOLY QURAN am so sorry Allah please forgive me
almost tried to OD tonight but i was able to tell my husband i had the pills he took them away and am now Safe
had to talk about how i really feel and i told him I LOVE NO OTHER THAN ALLAH
Please Allah HELP ME
i feel very unwell been thinking about death where i should think about life and Allah
Sorry am kinda depressed and upset sorry if this dont make sense
I will stay with Allah
Am in tears ...he confusing me am going around in circles ...i cant live like this i have to choose between The Man i love and Allah who i love just as much he says its not love that i feel for Allah its an obsession that i cant control ...Am going to wreak our marriage ...my fault ...the rest of my family will abandon me
sorry i cant am sorry please Allah forgive me
my husband is back with me just wearing my hat and scarf ...he says am driving him crazy my OCD has gotten so bad, i need to control myself at the moment i cant pray or read the quran i asked for help in a suicide forum and i said i was Muslim and someone posted back and said bad things about Mohammad i cant post there again it s was a support forum for people who want to kill themselves to live and get help
Someone also gave me domestic abuse info
Unsure if what he is doing is abuse unsure if the pastor is doing anything wrong with what he is doing he meant to be a friend he says that the people who love me want me to be well ...sorry
لَا إِلَهَ إِلَّا اللهُ وَحَدْهُ لَا شَرِيكَ لَهُ، لَهُ الْمُلْكُ وَلَهُ الْحَمْدُ يُحْيِي وَيُمِيتُ، وَهُوَ عَلَى كُلِّ شَيْءٍ قَدِيرٌ-
'La illaha illallah, wah-dahu la sharika lah, Lahul-mulku wa lahul hamd, wa huwa 'ala Kul-li shayin Qadeer.'-
(There is no god but Allah, alone, without any partner. The Kingdom and praise belong to Him and He has power over everything.)
...100 times a day... and it is a protection from Satan for that day until the night. No one does anything more excellent than someone who does more than that."
Sorry i havent posted for a while ...my husband is supportive of me but not supportive of me being Muslim , he not happy at all with this
my mental health is going downhill very fast seeing things like everyone have there face melting off its graphic and upsetting
i asked my husband if i can be Muslim he says am not Muslim
HE says am christian and he said am just hiding because i find christian lent as a bad time for me
I GUESS i shouldnt be here sorry
It is not your husband who decides can you be a Muslim or are you a Muslim or not. It is Allah. As well your husband is not a one who can decide are you a Christian or what else.
If you feel in your heart that you are meant to be Muslim, no other human can make any kind of other decisions.
From Occupied Palestine:
We have suffered too much for too long. We will not accept apartheid masked as peace. We will settle for no less than our freedom.
the pastor knows me well and says am wasting everyones time and that am not Muslim am not anything but Christian
I dont want to go to the groups again he a friend but he making me feel like am attention seeking or something my mother would say things like that to do with my mental health
i tried to talk to him about this but because av been back and forward with this he says its not what i really want to believe its my fault they will not accept me being Muslim
i cant do anything about it av been missing the prayers and washu i know its wrong not to pray but up until an hour ago i told him am still Muslim
he told me he not happy and he is going to talk to our friend ( the pastor ) when he needs support
What this pastor really wants? To "save your soul" by force or what? This sounds brainwashing and its an unforgivable disgrace act when his victim is someone who is sick and mentally unstable. Can´t you just refuse to meet kind of person?
He says you waste everyone´s time? Well, tell him that he makes same - he wastes your time.
From Occupied Palestine:
We have suffered too much for too long. We will not accept apartheid masked as peace. We will settle for no less than our freedom.
he runs most of the groups i go to for my mental health he meant to help people with mental health problems he work for the NHS ( health service in the uk )
i like him apart from when he is like this i can never say what i want to say to him because he knows about different faiths more than me
I dont want to get anyone involved like his boss etc because he is a friend
So he helps people with mental health problems as belittle their own religions, their rights to decide by themselves what is their faith and impose his own religion to them?
Hopely that´s not true but I have only misunderstood something in your earlier posts.
From Occupied Palestine:
We have suffered too much for too long. We will not accept apartheid masked as peace. We will settle for no less than our freedom.
Am unsure if he has said anything like this to anyone before or its just me he says i am not serous about Islam that am just playing games with people life which am not doing because i changed my mind so many time that s what is going against me
he said if i was serous about Islam i would have stayed with it the first time basically he says am a fraud this makes me feel very bad about myself and want to self injure
My illness is what is driving me to be Muslim not anything else unsure what i can do if i turn up there with the hijab on again he will say what he said the last time and makes me feel so bad ...my husband has pills in his bag i really want to take them all ...
Dear sister, only you know what you have in your heart. If he is friend, he should leave matters like religion and stop pressure others with them. Everyone is sometimes unsure and specially then when you don´t feel well and might get unstable ideas. It´s because of your sickness I think. Don´t blame yourself.
my husband is telling me that i MUST stay at the groups he said there nothing wrong with them and ill just been isolating myself
but i already am being isolated by him not letting me go to the mosque
sorry for saying what i did about the pills am safe my husband has the bag next to him so i cant get them
Salam un alikum ...warakhmatullahi wa barakathi...dear sister first of all calm down and believe in Allah ...don't put pressure on your mind so that you will not be confused what to do....
Sorry to say..but the Quran clarifies that verily every kafir is your enemy ....
So am just saying if you r converting or already converted to Islam ...you cannot stay with your husband because you cannot marry a kafir....
I m happy to see that you don't have any kids or any if they would have followed the wrong path...you will be responsible for that ...so that is a huge pleasure and blessing from Allah ...because not everyone thinks alike ...all have different opinions maybe they would not believe in Allah ....thank all for what ever he has done ...
May Allah strengthen your and our deen...? You are still not sure what to do ...you are confused ..Allah is the ever forgiving...so don't listen to shaytan put you in waswasa...Allah will never send you in to jahanam once you accept his religion and seek forgiveness from him....
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