I am blind, deaf, my heart is sealed, and my brain can't understand....

this is the joke!!

a lot of people... feeel.. too much.

they feel that ibaadah is not accepted. or prayer is not accepted.

they have great difficulty with waswas.

...so for you to say you feel nothing.. is not entirely a bad thing.

if you are not moved by the religion in the same way some people are.. its no bad thing.

but what do you make of it? what does it make of you?

at the moment all its worth is to stop you having "fun"

so thats the only choice you have to make..

those out there having "fun" have different choices to make.

whatever it is that you lust after is simply a mirage..

its tomorrow that you should be worried about.

..when these choices catch up.

everyone is made use of.

i hope i havent wronged my family.

format_quote Originally Posted by .alhamdulillah.

The sins I repeatadily commit, knowing Allah was watching when I did them..... I believe has lead to this. Once upon a time I had firm conviction in Allah, but made excuses and did what I wanted to.

And now it's a constant back and forth of whether I believe or not, and I think it's game over done.... I can't believe again.

Because for me, I don't feel any iman. Even nice recitions of the Quran do nothing for me(especially because I don't know Arabic). I feel nothing in prayer no matter how hard I focus on the meaning. I try to look up in the skies and picture Allah and connect with him, but nothing.


And now it's at the point where, if I don't believe now, if to me it just isn't proof enough that Islam is the truth.... why bother following it anyways, because I don't know if there will be a hereafter or heaven and hell.... and if I don't know, then it makes no sense miss out on the fun. Whereas if it is clear to me it is the truth, I can at least try to stay away from it now.

I feel this problem is more spiritual, you say you have sinned consistently, and this has affected your heart, and affected it to the point, where you have no emotional bond with the spirit of Islaam.

Reflect on yourself, and know that the path of following your desires, and entertaining haraam thoughts/actions, leads to self-destruction. Allaah the Exalted doesn't need you, you need Him. We are dependent upon Him for everything.

At this point in time, the only thing I will advise you is: Tawbah/Repentance. Once you make the prayer, try and think of all the sins, and beg for His forgiveness, because ultimately, you are not wronging anyone but your own soul. And then continue with your salaah, but also make sure you are saying your daily adhkaar, and also constantly throughout the day praise Allaah subhanahu wa ta'ala. (For example, Alhamdulillaah, SubhanAllaah, Allaahu Akbar etc etc).

Shaytaan is the biggest, open enemy of every Muslim. May Allaah subhanahu wa ta'ala protect us all. And Shaytaan will not stop until man has lost his faith. And once you do that, Shaytaan has won, and you have lost. But there is still time for you brother, as long as you are alive, there is always opportunity to repent and turn to Allaah the Most Merciful, the Most Forgiving, the ultimate Truth.

To my own opinion is Islam the second floor so to say.

So first there is the ground floor. What is this ground floor?

The ground floor is the mind. The mind has NOTHING to do with believe. It all has to do with logic, rationality and reason with scientific evidence if available. This ground floor many us Muslims including i when i was a "culture"-Muslim missed completely. That is why you see for example Muslims converting to atheist, as atheism gives you this ground floor. However for the critical thinker you will reveal that atheism is fooling you with lies and deceit. Speaking as an ex-atheist. So now is what do you do? First lay the ground level or in other words, find through logic, rationality and reason with scientific evidence the necessary proof that Islam is the truth. I have done that so even if my imaan gets low, my believe in Islam doesn't get away, rather i become lazy.

Now comes the first floor. What is this first floor?

The first floor is slowly based on believe. As an example we have NOT seen Musa(as) separate water with his cane by the permission of Allah(swt), yet we believe this really has happened. We know Allah(swt) exists, yet we do not see Him. So the first floor is believing in the unseen. However the unseen is based on the seen, just like how the first floor is based on ground floor. So what do i mean with the unseen is based on the seen? The seen is for example the Qur'an, because of logic, rationality and reason with scientific evidence if available concludes for you that Qur'an is not from human beings, you can only conclude that it comes from what it says it has come from. With is this Super Being to make it easy to understand.

Second floor is Islam. What is second floor?

Knowing, accepting and understanding that Islam is the truth.

Third floor is Imaan. What is third floor?

Well taste imaan once in your life than you will know it. I cannot explain what is imaan in words. The best that i picture it is..this scene in the Matrix.


This is when you have never tasted imaan...you pray but your heart is not at ease. Look at the destructive force of those sentinels. That is how i can put the state of my heart in picture.




This is how it feels when tasting imaan..look at how calm the sentinels suddenly have become. Nothing matters..but this isn't the state of my mind, but the state of my heart. All the worries disseaper, no worries of anything anymore. No sadness, if somebody would even insult you would still be all calm..no worries..all in your heart. You will find this scene at 3.55 minutes.



Then comes fourth floor. That is ihsaan. What is Ihsaan?

Well to be in the state of imaan 24/7 i would say. With EVERY thing you do and you say, you remember Allah. It is as if i believe when you enter certain room only through a door, you also do every action you do through the door of imaan/Islam. You reflect with every little thing you do before doing it. This is what i BELIEVE it is. I have never reached this level to be very honest. I have tasted imaan, as tears out of nowhere fall when only hearing Qur'an, while not being sad or anything.


So what is my advice? Start doing your research if you haven't. If you know and understand with 100% conviction Islam is the truth, than you have a firm position in this. Slowly comes the rest. BUT BE HONEST!!..1+1=2..not 3 because you heart "feels" like it should be 3. Just clearly 1+1=2 ..there is no place for feelings when we talk about logic, rationality and reason.

Hope you this could help you a bit.

Before you were born, you didn't remember a thing right? Then you came into being and into this world. Isn't THAT Creator Able to resurrect you who created the Earth and you? Yes, He is Able.

Reflect, This life had a beginning, YOU have a beginning, birth. Your exit from this world is Death.

I believe firmly in the Hereafter Through LOGIC and REASONING, and Imaan. you know. This world exists, whether you want it or not. Believe it or not. The Same with the Akhira. It exists whether we want it or not, believe it or not.

Those who do not believe in the Akhira or Allah, do not truly use their intellect, nor reflect. Look at it from this point of view:

Allah created you, you are an intelligent being. Who except the All-knowing could create us? And isn't the One who Created us and The heavens, able to resurrect us, after our Death? Logical answer, is yes.
Why? Then tell me WHY and HOW this world came into existence? Why were we created, and how?

Lets take from when we were in the womb. The Atheists say that the DNA From our mother and dad came together to make us, and that the genes determine, etc. But, how does this know to do that and not this? Who told it to make a heart? A brain? Where does this information to create a human, come from? Where does the genes comes from? Where does this knowledge come from?

Because, by Allah, we could not have been created, except with knowledge. Tell me, can you build a car, without any form of knowledge or intelligence? Who told our cells to do this? Why do they? Where did the information come from?

If you just reflect, you can see so many assumptions made by Atheists, and rather their belief lies on wishful thinking, because they think that all of our cells could, by chance, brilliantly come together to form us. They say the information is from our Genes, etc. But where did that information come from?? Who put it there? Allah created us, and commanded and created the cells.

Allah is the One who created us in the wombs, while we were unaware.
my advice is: Reflect.

format_quote Originally Posted by .alhamdulillah.

The sins I repeatadily commit, knowing Allah was watching when I did them..... I believe has lead to this. Once upon a time I had firm conviction in Allah, but made excuses and did what I wanted to.

And now it's a constant back and forth of whether I believe or not, and I think it's game over done.... I can't believe again.

Because for me, I don't feel any iman. Even nice recitions of the Quran do nothing for me(especially because I don't know Arabic). I feel nothing in prayer no matter how hard I focus on the meaning. I try to look up in the skies and picture Allah and connect with him, but nothing.


And now it's at the point where, if I don't believe now, if to me it just isn't proof enough that Islam is the truth.... why bother following it anyways, because I don't know if there will be a hereafter or heaven and hell.... and if I don't know, then it makes no sense miss out on the fun. Whereas if it is clear to me it is the truth, I can at least try to stay away from it now.

Because you are thinking about this, it means your heart is not yet sealed. You are worried about the effect of not having eman. Brother, the time is critical. You need to take the steps to regain your eman and you need to do this through action.

The first step, make dua "oh Allah, guide me, I don't want to lose eman."

The second is to have blind faith in Allah and the Hereafter and Islam being truth.

Change your company immediately to those who are righteous. Go to the masjid and pray there and sit there for hours and make dua and cry over your sins and beliefs.

When at home or anywhere else, watch YouTube videos from scholars like Omar Sulaiman and others. You will find an abundance of thought provoking lectures on every topic.

Do lots of istighaar. All the time.

If you have a problem with useless things online, then put the computer in a place where you can't use it without being seen.

I pray for your guidance.

format_quote Originally Posted by .alhamdulillah.

I just don't know. I just don't know if I believe or if I dont.

The thoughts and feelings I am getting are just blasphemous. I've done what I've done, and I can't take that back.... but if I want to change and want to believe in the truth, it sure as heck doesn't feel like God is helping me in any way.....

If I don't believe, isn't it on Allah to make it clear to me....????

Breaking it down, if someone doesn't believe in Islam, then what the heck is the point of them doing good, and staying away from bad, and why should they be punished for it, if the message isn't clear to them that this is the truth??????

Your username is alhamdulillah - why? why choose that name for yourself when you are clearly denying the existence of the One who created you?

Scientifically, Logically, Emotionally, even Physically - Islaam makes perfect sense. If you are in doubt, then that is upon you wanting to justify following your desires.

Some people blame God for every negativity in their life - when rather, it is their own actions, their own mentality, their lack of faith, which is a hindrance to their progression.

Now you can either:

1) take the advice given on this thread and move forward

2) continue in the rut of doubt and helplessness

It's up to you how you progress.

What you hope to gain and when you make dua To Allah , know that if you do not do your effort, Allah won't bring the results.

So do dua, but also act. Do not blame Allah when you do not do your part, i.e. try, and read Qur'aan. If I laid down on my bed, and blamed Allah for not bringing me food, who is to blame? I am to blame.

In shaa' Allah you understand what I am saying. Seek Allah willingly, and you will find Him .

Allahu alam.

format_quote Originally Posted by .alhamdulillah.

The sins I repeatadily commit, knowing Allah was watching when I did them..... I believe has lead to this. Once upon a time I had firm conviction in Allah, but made excuses and did what I wanted to.

And now it's a constant back and forth of whether I believe or not, and I think it's game over done.... I can't believe again.

Because for me, I don't feel any iman. Even nice recitions of the Quran do nothing for me(especially because I don't know Arabic). I feel nothing in prayer no matter how hard I focus on the meaning. I try to look up in the skies and picture Allah and connect with him, but nothing.


And now it's at the point where, if I don't believe now, if to me it just isn't proof enough that Islam is the truth.... why bother following it anyways, because I don't know if there will be a hereafter or heaven and hell.... and if I don't know, then it makes no sense miss out on the fun. Whereas if it is clear to me it is the truth, I can at least try to stay away from it now.

Hmmm.

You will find out if there is a hell or heaven - right?

Seems you do believe but don't want to believe because you feel such a great shame over your sins. Did you do tawba? Well... try it. Tawba is humbling if done sincerely.

But if sincerity is not in your nature - try being a non Muslim.

And see how miserable you will become in time.

You will have no inference for any moral action you take, and when you good actions are met with little or no thanks - you won't be able to entertain the trust which allows you to believe "Allah has my deeds on record" because you won't be a Muslim.

So yeah, go for it - go for the kuffar life - just don't expect things to be easy if you decide to return to islam after that fails.

Scimi