how do I rely upon Allah swt?

I understand where you are coming from. Just to do simple things like watch a movie is difficult because these bad feelings hit one out of the blue.

You can't evens concentrate properly or evens relax and you are always tense. I can't sit still. This really affects my work because I use to be graphic designer. I can't work anymore for a Boss because they will wonder why I am not at my desk.

You have my sympathies, my friend. To study and have a sickness must be really difficult. You are very brave and this should be commended, mashallah.

What helps me is anti-anxiety medication and an anti-psychotic. It's the only way I can sleep at night. This is probably my favourite time of the day because the medication makes me tired enough to sleep, Alhamdullilah.

I don't know your situation so I don't know what advice I can give to you but writing to Allah really helps me. Psychologists use the same technique to remap ones brains chemistry with positive reinforcement. The trick is to write only good letters inshallah. It can be about Khutbah's, your family, about your career, about your dreams for Jannah firdous etc.

Another technique that really helps me when I am having doubts about my belief in Allah is to reaffirm it by extending my right hand index finger. This same action is used in salaah to declare that Allah is one. (Ash haddu Allah illa ha ilallah, I bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah) I can't talk properly so this form of thikr works for me mashallah plus it is very easy to do. I sleep in the same way by doing the same action.

Here is a duaa that helps me.
Rabbi inni maghlubun fantassir (O Allah! I am overcome, help me. (Surat al- Qamar, 10)

My best advice to you is to start a diary to Allah. It helps so much. Also spend time with your family. This is very important. And get yourself a pet inshallah. Building empathy towards others is also important inshallah. I hardly have any emotions but somehow Allah still makes me understand when my family is happy. This makes me appreciate them evens more, mashallah.

Listen to good music. I know a lot of Muslims don't. But there is good music out there, you just have to find it inshallah. I can't really watch movies properly but I can still listen to music Alhamdulillah. Studies show that it calms the brave waves mashallah and grants serenity to the spirit mashallah. I like listening to the radio though because there is always someone on the other side especially when my family is asleep and I am awake. I don't know when last I listened to silence in peace. It does happen for a few minutes then everything changes again. I always thank Allah for the little peace he gave because it is precious to me, Alhamdullilah.

I hope I helped a little
Salaam

I don't know if we can use the term 'rely' on Allah as what we would expect normally. I (think) it would be more appropriate to 'trust' in Allah and His manner of dispensing our affairs.

If we rely on Allah to get the 'result' we are hoping for, I am not sure if we will get it, hence then what happens to our reliance on Him? But to know that He is the Best Dispenser of affairs means that whether tor not we are reliant on Him, He still dispenses our affairs in the best possible way.

Maybe I have misunderstood...

I have lots of homework, and it is stressful you know. Sometimes I am with homework for 20-40minutes, and only wrote 5 lines.

This stresses me cuz I feel I am too slow! And sometimes I stare at the screen wondering what I should search for (like What next?? What do I do now?)

Unlike my brother, I am waaaaaaaaaaay slower :/ I want to rely on Allah / trust Allah.. Ah... I see......... So I do my best, but thing is, I want to, but I feel everytime I try to do my best, I feel shirky? I ignore this?? THAT is the question.

Allahu alam.

format_quote Originally Posted by AmatulWudud

It happens during homework only or in other things like forums etc!?

What kind of shirky thoughts you feel....

Explain properly!

Ehm, sorry for not explaining properly.

It is whenever I try to do good, e.g. homework, pray, etc. The shirky thoughts I feel are when I say concentrate on homework, I feel as if I rely on "shirk".. Or so shaytaan says I do. I know he is a liar.

But my question is: Whenever I try to do good, etc. And really do good, I get shirky thoughts like amulets, etc. Where I get feelings as if I wear an amulet (I don't though) I know worship is only for Allah, etc. And I trust Allah, etc. But whenever I get into this good mood, this good feeling and concentration, I fear I have fallen into shirk because I get this shirky thought of wearing amulet, which I don't.

So question is: Do I just concentrate and ignore the thoughts and feelings? I.e. disregard them even if the shirky thoughts continue?

And If I don't get into this good mood, my ability to do homework decreases a lot. :/
May Allah :Swt: bless us with good. Ameen
Allahu alam.

Walaikum Asalaam

format_quote Originally Posted by Serinity

I have lots of homework, and it is stressful you know. Sometimes I am with homework for 20-40minutes, and only wrote 5 lines.

This stresses me cuz I feel I am too slow! And sometimes I stare at the screen wondering what I should search for (like What next?? What do I do now?)

Unlike my brother, I am waaaaaaaaaaay slower :/ I want to rely on Allah / trust Allah.. Ah... I see......... So I do my best, but thing is, I want to, but I feel everytime I try to do my best, I feel shirky? I ignore this?? THAT is the question.

Allahu alam.

I was the same way...the only way I'd ever get anything done, ironically, was if I was stressed out with only minutes left on the clock. Even though I was already stressed out before. I think this is just normal student life. Some have a knack for school, others have to work twice as hard for it.

Maybe it will help if you organized your time and work. Seek refuge from shaytan, say bismillah and work. If you can't get one question, just move on to the next and come back to it later. If writing an essay, write what you know and fill in the other parts later. You just need to start somewhere. Don't overthink it.

format_quote Originally Posted by *charisma*

Walaikum Asalaam




I was the same way...the only way I'd ever get anything done, ironically, was if I was stressed out with only minutes left on the clock. Even though I was already stressed out before. I think this is just normal student life. Some have a knack for school, others have to work twice as hard for it.

Maybe it will help if you organized your time and work. Seek refuge from shaytan, say bismillah and work. If you can't get one question, just move on to the next and come back to it later. If writing an essay, write what you know and fill in the other parts later. You just need to start somewhere. Don't overthink it.

Yeah, it takes me 1-2 hours to get in the good flow of doing things. sometimes I overthink on where to start, so I complicate it for myself, and I get a bad grade cuz it looks too complex for my teacher even.

Complicating something doesn't make it better. Gotta keep it simple.

Allahu alam.

format_quote Originally Posted by Serinity

Yeah, it takes me 1-2 hours to get in the good flow of doing things. sometimes I overthink on where to start, so I complicate it for myself, and I get a bad grade cuz it looks too complex for my teacher even.

Complicating something doesn't make it better. Gotta keep it simple.

Allahu alam.

Trust me, I know what you mean. I used to have this OCD issue, where I'd be rewriting my notes and making then neater, then I'd organize my pencils and work, clean my room..it's like everything had to be organized before I began. And once I was ready to begin, I'd have no interest, my mind would be blank, I'd be tired..I'd think maybe I should sleep for a bit, then I'd be like if I do that I'd have to wake up earlier just to do hmwk...it was neverending lool. It's not until I got older that I had more control over it. Honestly i also think computer and phone screens affect our attention span. Anyways, you can always have someone look over your work/edit it for you. Although like I said, it helps to just organize your thoughts on paper first..keep it simple in the beginning..then go over it and add descriptions or anything to clarify what needs clarification.