We live in an expensive area due to my husbands mother living near by and him wanting to take care of her. This means rent and living costs are high. My husband has said to me that he will have children with me but I must help put financially and this has really annoyed me because we would be more comfortable financially if we lived outside this area.
My question is I need some fatwa to show what he is doing is wrong. Should a women have to have financial burden just because she wants children?
We live in an expensive area so my husband can take care of his mum. So living costs are high due to this.
My husband has said he will have kids with me but only if I help out financially but I am annoyed because if we lived elsewhere I wouldn't have to pay for my children because cost of living would be cheaper.
Can someone please eprovide fatwa on this and why he is putting some financial burden on me.
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Disabled and old individuals cause major poverty. They can't work and have to go government benefits. There is a nursing home but you can't eat the food you can at home, among other things. His situation is a bad one because he has to take care of his mother as she can't take care of herself. You should help him.
We live in an expensive area due to my husbands mother living near by and him wanting to take care of her. This means rent and living costs are high. My husband has said to me that he will have children with me but I must help put financially and this has really annoyed me because we would be more comfortable financially if we lived outside this area.
My question is I need some fatwa to show what he is doing is wrong. Should a women have to have financial burden just because she wants children?
Is there anyone living with his Mother to take care of her or is she living by herself? If she is by herself then as you have no children as yet then why do you both not move in with her until you are more financially able to live on your own? That way you do not have to pay high rent costs and at the same time he will find it easier to take care of his Mother and then that way you do not have to work.
Problem is that in the West we have lost our values. If men stop their women from wearing make up in public they're classed by certain factions of society as control freaks and psychopaths . in one case one of these social media celeb ustadas encouraged a follower to seek divorce. His sin was stopping the wife from wearing make up in public which I always thought was his right. Would appear in the West were allowed to make concessions in such matters and anyone who doesn't is classed as an extremist that too by fellow Muslims. Ajeeb
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May Allah reward u brother hamza as you post only that which from the Deen . ppl like to use straw man arguments to support their stances to difficult from the root of the issue which is discarding the sharia to suit their desires.
Salaam We live in an expensive area due to my husbands mother living near by and him wanting to take care of her. This means rent and living costs are high. My husband has said to me that he will have children with me but I must help put financially and this has really annoyed me because we would be more comfortable financially if we lived outside this area. My question is I need some fatwa to show what he is doing is wrong. Should a women have to have financial burden just because she wants children?
We live in an expensive area due to my husbands mother living near by and him wanting to take care of her. This means rent and living costs are high. My husband has said to me that he will have children with me but I must help put financially and this has really annoyed me because we would be more comfortable financially if we lived outside this area.
My question is I need some fatwa to show what he is doing is wrong. Should a women have to have financial burden just because she wants children?
I intend to answer your question from two angles. One is from a legal standpoint and the second is of practicality.
Islamically a man is legally bound to take care of his parents throughout his life. This duty is not waved even after marriage. This is unlike the duty of the wife whose responsibilities over her parents are lightened after marriage, as it would be burdensome for a woman to take care of her parents full time as well as taking care of her husband's needs.
Your husband appears to be fulfilling his duty that Allah has placed upon him by taking care of his mother and, from your own admission, that he has been fulfilling your rights as well by giving you your own home. It also appears that you're comfortable enough to be a stay-at-home wife as you seem content with him being the sole earner, suggesting that he has been fulfilling his duties towards you.
Secondly, from a practical standpoint it's difficult living on rent while having children. The cost of rent, utility bills and other related expenses as well as having a child means he is going to be financially strained - unless he has a helping hand. It's more practical to have two people on an income as expenses can be shared between each other, lightening the pressure and stress of ensuring you have all your basic necessities rather than having to compromise every now and again.
The reality is he's going to take care of his mother whether he lives closeby or far away, as every responsible and upright man should. The travel to and fro could end up costing him no less than being where he is now, with the added stress of travelling if you force him to move away. Additionally, he's going to have to pay for the deposit for the new place and all the related moving expenses as he's the sole earner. Unless you're going to contribute financially, you're going to push him beyond his means.
Furthermore, you shouldn't put your husband in a situation where he has to choose between spending more time with you or taking care of his mother because no-one should be forced to make that choice. Relationships aren't always based on rights as you're not doing business with each other. Relationships require compromise, sacrifice and a willingness to work for a future together. Inshaa'Allah when you have children and they grow up and get married, you would want them to take care of you when you become old. Therefore, I encourage you to work together with your husband by doing what's best for both of you as this will lead to a more harmonious relationship.
w/salam
Last edited by 'Abd-al Latif; 07-17-2017 at 09:39 PM.
And verily for everything that a slave loses there is a substitute, but the one who loses Allah will never find anything to replace Him.” [Related by Ibn al-Qayyim in ad-Dâ' wad-Dawâ Fasl 49]
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