Asalam O Alaikum people,i'm new here..i came here because i felt like as if no other depression forum site was willing to help me plus they're non Muslim sites...so it goes like this..i kind of had a traumatic childhood with my mum and dad always fighting(physically) i had extreme social anxiety....so i left school(please don't tell me to go back to school i cannot go back i'd rather get home schooled)also jealous relatives used black magic to ruin my family(which they've been very successful in)
by the way black magic is very commonly used in my country sadly,well years have passed and the situation of the house is kind of okay but still the same,i really don't want to curse(bad words) or anything but the situation of my mind has become so bad that well it doesn't wish for anything but death(please do not say it's cowardly to wish death or something just because many of you haven't experienced depression or these thoughts,but i have sense it's forbidden)i'm also suffering from extreme intrusive thoughts A.K.A Waswas of shaitan,i have OCD(obsessive compulsive disorder),ADHD(attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) AND PTSD(post traumatic stress disorder) and also something known as MALADAPTIVE DAYDREAMING,i know this post will get less replies..because nobody wants to deal with a depressed person like me..yes i am not very religious but not extremely non religious,i know that it's also a reason i'm this way but my ocd is so strong that i always miss prayers and get easily distracted(ADHD)that i forget to pray,i don't know what or who to blame me or my disorder?,this situation is getting out of hand i don't know what to do my family doesn't understand or take my situation seriously,i cannot go to a psychiatrist because no one would take me neither can i go by myself,i tried asking about my problems on some Muslim group on FB but the admin thought i was being dramatic and kicked me out it was extremely rude of the admin..i'm not the only child i have 4 other siblings though but their situation isn't as bad as mine....i feel like no one wants to help me,i can't even help myself...btw i'm only a kid
i'm more of well..negative even my art is based on dark stuff my personality and everything if i change it i would be like everyone else not original(i don't want to change my personality just cuz people think of me as boring no thanks,but the laziness thing does need to stop and the social anxiety thing..
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you know what you don't understand anything,non Muslim sitesreally are more understanding!
First you said other sites are not understanding and bad and now we aren't understanding.
One thing that you learn as you grow up is you can't expect people to like you when you don't give up your bad habits and "just be yourself". You complain of being alone and social anxiety and then say things like "if i change it i would be like everyone else not original". I sense a lot of movies and drama in that statement.
If you want other people to like you and not be alone then don't think they're "unoriginal" and you're some special snowflake. We are all the same and our experiences changes us but the basic human interaction is same whether you're the king of the country or a poor peasant. Go and talk friendly to your friends and you will find everyone is friendly back.
The problem you have is you are in this vicious cycle of negativity - i have this disorder and that disorder and then you act according to that which reinforces your belief more and then you go back and then you go back and so on and so forth. People hate me because i am so special and different than them and you act like that which reinforces your belief of you being different than others and the cycle continues.
To break free of the cycle, you have to admit to yourself where you are feeding and encouraging this behavior to continue.
Let me point out to you - the first step is to listen and don't dis the advice of people - who know more than you - like they don't understand you. The second is to admit you're just as normal, as "unoriginal" (interesting word) as the rest of the humanity and you're going through a phase of your teenage years and lastly, accept your faults - you're an attention seeker and there is nothing wrong with that, some of us are wired that way (i am one) but find a proper way to get that attention and please don't make it be negative.
I have a feeling this is falling on deaf ears so i am not going to waste my breath anymore. Good luck and please don't make excuses not to pray and be religious.
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