Sick of this Life

format_quote Originally Posted by seekingaid234

How are you doing guys ? I hope you do better than me

To hold it as short as possible I will be cutting out some stuff

I am so sick of this life, really it feels like everything I had, is lost. I used to have a strong Imaam, firm believe in Allah and his aid, aswell as his fairness. But all is gone, it just went. I have to mention that I did lots of mistakes in my life I regret but I used to be younger when I did some bad mistakes. So yeah of course I know Allah have to punish me for my sins, but why is it that Allah is already punishing me my whole life ? I grew up in an non muslim country, without my father (well he was there, living apart from us, but he wasnt interested in me neither he was paying money for me), instead I got a stepfather who was torturing me (hitting me aswell as insulting) 70 prozent of the time I saw him. I am not even an adult yet and what I have saw already in my life is far behind what a kid can bear. So many things went wrong, I got kicked two times from the scool, people were insulting me for how I look and what I wear (cheap clothes etc.). The most bad about this is the ones who insulted me btw muslims, got to look so nice today even if they did insult me about my looking. My whole Life there was someone there to make fun of my looking, a family friend and one of my familymember used to laugh and tell me ( I was 5 Years old back then) "BIGHEAD" and laugh, because I got a big head and big face. If only it would be about my head but no, I m hairy aswell on literally every place at a so young age, my skin is so instable aswell and I lost one teeth and got plombed already 3 another teeths. I feel like I have became a piece of ----, I get destructed little by little and the help of Allah seems to be so far away, I have to say I am not an Angel regarding my behaviour, but I tryed often to get close to Allah as I love him and believe in him.
I am really thinking about suicide its the only way freeing my self from all my worries I got. Its not only that I look really bad but aswell I dont have that much money, I signed a contract for a Job, because I finished the scool and it turned out that literally 6/7 of the money I will be getting is going to be taken away from me and is going to be put into the rental fee. I am so depressed, I had dreams when I was young of growing up and working and getting married and living a helal life but now everything is broken. I am so unlucky. I got unimaginable trouble going on in my life. Imagine you sit at the train alone and the train is full but no one wants to sit next to you everyone just sits around me, imagine as a poor buying clothes and literally every second piece u buy to wear breaks. Its like a stomp in my face everytime things like this happen to me. These are only examples of a big collection of unlucky things happening to me. And all I mentioned is only a small piece of my bad things happening to me there is much much more. I cant bear anymore seeing people happy, especially muslims who act like kaafirs who live an awesome blessed life. I say it again, I am not presenting myself as a Angel, I do mistakes aswell, but the difference between me and them is that when I commit sins I fear Allah. The biggest problem is my weird looking, I dont care about the money. I didnt expect a vip looking neither. I just want to look normally with normally proportionals and not a deformed head and deformed back and broken teeths. But Allah grants me nothing Is there somthing like a way to escape other than commiting suicide ?

oh my my family used to degrade me n my siblings the same way,they'd make fun of our facial features so we'd get insecure about that when we grow up they hated me n my siblings,btw that step thing is going around here as well i've got a stepmom who wants me n my siblings dead my father doesn't realize that she's a just gold digger,it really is a depressing how many people who don't experience depression do not understand people with depression,people never understand unless they've walked in our shoes so that's why they always take our problems lightly,it's disgusting

format_quote Originally Posted by sadia.rajput

oh my my family used to degrade me n my siblings the same way,they'd make fun of our facial features so we'd get insecure about that when we grow up they hated me n my siblings,btw that step thing is going around here as well i've got a stepmom who wants me n my siblings dead my father doesn't realize that she's a just gold digger,it really is a depressing how many people who don't experience depression do not understand people with depression,people never understand unless they've walked in our shoes so that's why they always take our problems lightly,it's disgusting

Yes exactly its so depressing how people say have sabr or this is just a test and they dont feel the same as we

and also when nobody wants help us,tbh i always think how people live happy carefree lives in a world filled with terrorism,cruelty,no equality,racism,no loyalty,cruelty to animals,really i see many people there enjoying their lives it really is unbearable cuz i'm like they don't care about how messed up this world is from every corner...that's also half of the reason i don't want to live,forgive me for being too negative but it's the truth sadly

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format_quote Originally Posted by seekingaid234

Yes exactly its so depressing how people say have sabr or this is just a test and they dont feel the same as we

yes exactly

format_quote Originally Posted by sadia.rajput

and also when nobody wants help us,tbh i always think how people live happy carefree lives in a world filled with terrorism,cruelty,no equality,racism,no loyalty,cruelty to animals,really i see many people there enjoying their lives it really is unbearable cuz i'm like they don't care about how messed up this world is from every corner...that's also half of the reason i don't want to live,forgive me for being too negative but it's the truth sadly

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yes exactly

I swear to Allah I feel the same as you

animal cruelty? you only have a single chance to live,why worry about that? as for looks,it is nothing,i am not good looking either,i got deformed teeth but my style and hair covers up especially when i dress up.looks are not that important in life.and i wont spend time with those who mock me.at the end of the day,what really matters in life is allah ,loving him,relying on him all your affairs,and allah is the best planner.read my advice on the other thread how to easily get close to allah swt and make positive life changes.

format_quote Originally Posted by ahmedahmed

animal cruelty? you only have a single chance to live,why worry about that? as for looks,it is nothing,i am not good looking either,i got deformed teeth but my style and hair covers up especially when i dress up.looks are not that important in life.and i wont spend time with those who mock me.at the end of the day,what really matters in life is allah ,loving him,relying on him all your affairs,and allah is the best planner.read my advice on the other thread how to easily get close to allah swt and make positive life changes.

If only it would be the look I could accept but it is like Allah wants that nothing in my life makes me happy, everything is depressing me there is nothing actually making me happy

one time when I was in the cemetery, I looked how life going on and how we are so busy of our real goal in this life .
When I was looking in some Graves and how it written born at :... and die at ... I tell my self that this short life don't deserve to spend in sadness and sorrow , in being unhappy and complaining
It's short if we look how we lived and we just feel the station which we are in right now ... rather if it good or bad
If you try to see how lucky you are... you won't belive ... but you can't do so while you are focusing on what people say about you ... we all heard such kind of things in our life ... it can either destroy you ... or you can choose to make you strong.
you can speak... see and hear... and there are a lot of people who wishe the things you don't even see them as a favor.

There are a people who wish to can move them body or them hands just- to help- themselves.
You may say they are also not happy..
I will tell you no,
On the contrary they are more happy than the heal people them selves.
and I experienced this in my life and my friends
and my sister was one of them ...
They are also have a dreams in life and have wishes,
But the things which make them happy even all those things... is because they know the realty of this Dunya
Ask any one what you don't have ??
They can write to you a list of wishes
And a lot of needs
You know why ?
Because we aren't yet in jannah...
We shall have some fun and some troubles sometimes we cry and sometimes we smile ... sometimes we going through hardship to be patient and to have experience in life and other times it will be ease to know how Allah is near and how he reward the ease after being patient in Dunya and in the akhirah...
you may tell me that you are different ... and you didn't live any good day .. and you didn't even smile once in your life ...
this because you can't see what you have while you stick one the things you don't have ...
Do believe that as long as you complain and seeing the things bad you will not appreciate what you have- and you won't know what you have or what you need to do exactly ... and your weak and strong point of power.
And your life get worse
Do you think that Allah want to hurt you or to just put you in hardship

Allah says in the Quran
.ما يفعل الله بعذابكم إن شكرتم وآمنتم

Sometimes hardship give us experience.... sometimes it shows us the nature of each person
Sometimes it led us to know a very great people who are good in every situation ... and from all this bad people you seen

You may not have them yet because you are still in preparation
Allah want you to be better even if the price is some tears or some hard time and difficulty.
And make sure as the long time of hardship you spend before and you still in till now
When it comes relief .... As you patient you will be in ease inshallah .
and you will see.
And Because allah knows how to treat every one and the key of each heart ... he make you now strong to give you a better life after inshallah.
Read surat yousef and look how the prophet yousef suffered...
And how Allah prepared him to be the one who take the responsibility of the most important thing in Egypt.
And look how his father was patient and how he trust on Allah even his eyes blind from sadness
and he said after his children telling him about the other brother Binyamin he said: Maybe Allah will bring them (back) all to me (in the end). For He is indeed full of knowledge and wisdom."
he didn't know at that time that yousef will come back to him
he didn't know that Allah will heal his eyes to see him again (alayhim Salam )
but we are so ruched for the relief while he may be soo close to us ... but just because we don't know the unseen and what will happen in the future we keep on feeling that it can't change and we lose hope ... and we may lose our Iman too.
Allah have a beautiful name which is the grateful "ashakur" in Arabic
which means that ad long as you thank Allah ... Allah will give you more and more favors and gifts.
So if you do good he will grant you more and more
But it just a period and it will be change if you promise yourself to began your life by appreciating every small things.
Even just one thing a day.. but keep on saying alhamdulillah for it.
After that you will have more and more and you will not be able to be thankful for all the favors you will have inshallah.
You know shaytan know how everyone think and he stick in every different person as the way he thinks .
But if you be always remembering Allah and saying "aoudou billahi minna shaytani rajeem"
Once you have this kind of thinking
And keep on saying istighfar
You will be a different parson inshallah
if you be always remembering Allah and saying "aoudou billahi minna shaytani rajeem"
Once you have this kind of thinking
And keep on saying istighfar
You will be a different parson inshallah
Life is short
So why you want to end it ?
and why you choose to live it in a bad way.
You don't need to choose the bad way
While you can choose to live it even just to cross into jannah if this life look impossible in your eyes... and this is from shaytan he want you to think like this to lose the meaning of life, and as long as you do so the first thing you will think about is "to end your life "
So look how shaytan want to let you forget the meaning of our lives which is to worship Allah and also to live a good life and it can be and for sure because Allah has promised :
Whoever does righteousness, whether male or female, while he is a believer – We will surely cause him to live a good life, and We will surely give them their reward [in the Hereafter] according to the best of what they used to do.
And we also know that Dunya it's not our real home
It's a temporary
And everything will be ended one day rather it good or bad life
We all will wear the same pace of clothes and we all being on the same place
But when we meet Allah will forget everything
And hearafter is the best for the one who knows
In the Hadith, the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, has said: "verily, whoever takes the Hereafter as is his concern, Allah makes his richness in his heart and reunites him and this worldly life will come to him forced. And whoever has this worldly life as is his concern, Allah makes his poverty between his eyes and disperses him and he will not gain from this worldly life but only what is destined for him." [Al-Albani, authentic due to other narrations].
I hope this can remind you that you have a lot to be grateful for
And you as a believer should know that even the ones they looks as they have everything ...are in need .
And this life not eternal to fear about it pain
Every enjoyment it ended is death
And every hardship it ended also is death
And the reality which all believe in is death
Do your best and Allah will help you for sure
And he will make everything easy for you

Don't compare you life with other people's lives. There are poor people who might have better lives than the rich. They might not be as comfortable but they could very well have happier lives. There are "ugly" people who have a beautiful wife/husband with good looking, smart and successful kids and "good looking" people who live lonely lives. We all have highs and lows. How you deal with it is what will determine whether or not you become successful in life.

Think of it like going to a university to get a 4+ year degree. Do you become an expert at it once you graduate? Typically no. You usually gain the experience needed to become proficient with it years into whatever practice you've worked in while having to struggle and learn from all the mishaps and mistakes along the way. It's the mistakes and hurdles that make you wiser. Same goes with life.

In an effort to not list all my issues and past experiences, I'll simply ask you to trust me when I say I feel your pain.

format_quote Originally Posted by Bhabha

Word of advice.

Use commas for pausing, and periods for stopping.

Also break the paragraph into sentences and maybe add another paragraph to make it easier for people to read.

Where do you live?

Also, brush your teeth to keep them healthy... eat healthy food to fix your skin and teeth. You don't have to eat a lot, just make sure that what you're eating is good for you as opposed to just eating for eating.

How old are you as well?

Actually Germany