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I have  no proper friends at school

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  1. #1
    cinnamonrolls1's Avatar
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    I have no proper friends at school

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    Salam all,
    So i recently moved to a new school like 2 months before the summer or something,i cant remember when i moved specifically but iv been at this school for like 2 months or so. My classes are good and interesting,thats not the issue. I have no proper friends. I sit with a group of people for break and lunch but they dont really talk to me or include me in their conversations, and i sometimes get the feeling they are just tolerating me sometimes. Im a sociable person so its kinda difficult for me not having any proper friends. for break one of the girls i sit with is a muslim girl but she leaves me out of conversations and is very judgemental and makes fun of people behind their back etc so i dont really like her that much. I cant really make any new proper friends due to the fact that everyone is already in their own friend groups,and its difficult to join a new group. so if i leave this group i will literally be by my self.Im the only girl who wears hijab in my year and i've had a couple of snarky comments said. I'm not trying to complain and i realise that there are people far worse off. Can i get some advice please and is anyone interested in being friends?

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    Umm♥Layth's Avatar
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    Re: I have no proper friends at school

    Waleikum Asalaam

    Although I understand the need for socialization, especially at your age, there is a very big blessing in having little friends. Every person you call a friend will have an influence in your life and you don't want it to ever be a negative influence, so choose your friends wisely!

    Not having a big circle of friends allows you time to think, contemplate and grow. All relationships require time and effort and friendships are not an exception. They can actually keep you from developing as a person and in your Islam (as well as any other hobby/interest you have). Is it possible that this is an opportunity for you to look outside of the school? Are you involved in any halaqas or other group type meetings of interest to you?

    I became Muslim right out of high school and got married within a couple of months of that, so I never had the opportunity to go look for Muslim friends my age. I'm mainly a loner because of this, but I do have a few good friends who are way out of my age range lol. My best friend is 25 years older than me. Now that I have relocated, I will make an effort to go find another friend, but I tell you, good friends don't come easily.

    In good time, you will meet a girl or woman who you will click with and take off with insha'Allah. Ask Allah for a good, pious friend who you can grow with and see what happens insha'Allah
    2 | Likes cinnamonrolls1, Snow liked this post

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    AbdullahAziz's Avatar
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    Re: I have no proper friends at school

    Walikum salam

    you just have to put up with it i'm afraid and hope close friends will come along soon; this is what happens when a pupil moves to a new school

    in my dreams of me coming across a million pounds! , i think of the area i'll buy my house in , but then what stops me from wanting to move to a 'better area' is the thought that my children need their friends etc so even in my daydreams i dont move them to new schools!!!

    i'm afraid your parents are to blame for this as they should have prioritised your life before moving you to new school

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    Re: I have no proper friends at school

    Quote Originally Posted by Umm♥Layth View Post
    Waleikum Asalaam

    Although I understand the need for socialization, especially at your age, there is a very big blessing in having little friends. Every person you call a friend will have an influence in your life and you don't want it to ever be a negative influence, so choose your friends wisely!

    Not having a big circle of friends allows you time to think, contemplate and grow. All relationships require time and effort and friendships are not an exception. They can actually keep you from developing as a person and in your Islam (as well as any other hobby/interest you have). Is it possible that this is an opportunity for you to look outside of the school? Are you involved in any halaqas or other group type meetings of interest to you?

    I became Muslim right out of high school and got married within a couple of months of that, so I never had the opportunity to go look for Muslim friends my age. I'm mainly a loner because of this, but I do have a few good friends who are way out of my age range lol. My best friend is 25 years older than me. Now that I have relocated, I will make an effort to go find another friend, but I tell you, good friends don't come easily.

    In good time, you will meet a girl or woman who you will click with and take off with insha'Allah. Ask Allah for a good, pious friend who you can grow with and see what happens insha'Allah
    yeah im just going to make an effort to do well in school and stuff

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    cinnamonrolls1's Avatar
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    Re: I have no proper friends at school

    Quote Originally Posted by AbdullahAziz View Post
    Walikum salam

    you just have to put up with it i'm afraid and hope close friends will come along soon; this is what happens when a pupil moves to a new school

    in my dreams of me coming across a million pounds! , i think of the area i'll buy my house in , but then what stops me from wanting to move to a 'better area' is the thought that my children need their friends etc so even in my daydreams i dont move them to new schools!!!

    i'm afraid your parents are to blame for this as they should have prioritised your life before moving you to new school
    its not just my parents to blame,both my parents and i thought i would make friends quickly. Anyway its eid tomorow and im off school so its all good

  8. #6
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    Re: I have no proper friends at school

    Sister, to be very very critical to myself. I can say ..i also do not have really friends. I do know some people..that i MAYBE see once a month or so, but i wouldn't call them "friends". A friend is also somebody you regulary hangout with. When you get older, it is no longer really "friends". The chance that you have a "friend" while being old, is very slim. People once they are done with school, will start to construct their life..(work, marriage, children, house).

    I feel blessed that i am not surrounded with people and i am not kidding. People take SOO MUCH of your time and these days the conversations that you must have with people..is just like going to the toilet having done your stuff..but just sitting there doing nothing. That is you could say with people these days. You are with them and the amount of nonsense they talk about is unbelievable. Nobody is interested in Deen, nobody is interested in beneficial talk even though it is not about religion just something beneficial. It is just all nonsense. The people that do keep you company and have good beneficial subjects to talk about, there is a very SLIM chance each and every one of us who is seeking one you will meet. In the past there was a higher chance, but these days people and their "interesting"-subjects are rubbish..idols, kim kardashian, latest fashion, Music, Hollywood, disaster tourism, video games =_=!..

    Be a stranger, be a person who HAS an opinion.

    2 | Likes cinnamonrolls1, Umm♥Layth liked this post
    I have  no proper friends at school

    "....Indeed, Allah will not change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves...." Qur'an 13:11

  9. #7
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    Re: I have no proper friends at school

    I think that the best advice is to not worry about it at all.
    Don't force trying to be social or anything.
    I've met most of my best buddies by being totally careless.

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    Re: I have no proper friends at school

    Quote Originally Posted by cinnamonrolls1 View Post
    its not just my parents to blame,both my parents and i thought i would make friends quickly. Anyway its eid tomorow and im off school so its all good
    dont worry, just focus on your studies!!!; thats what matters!

  11. #9
    talibilm's Avatar
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    Re: I have no proper friends at school



    Bro, No friend is better than a bad friend. You are safe so your siblings and your dear parents are your good friends

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    *charisma*'s Avatar
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    Re: I have no proper friends at school

    Walaikum Asalaam

    Quote Originally Posted by cinnamonrolls1 View Post
    Salam all,
    So i recently moved to a new school like 2 months before the summer or something,i cant remember when i moved specifically but iv been at this school for like 2 months or so. My classes are good and interesting,thats not the issue. I have no proper friends. I sit with a group of people for break and lunch but they dont really talk to me or include me in their conversations, and i sometimes get the feeling they are just tolerating me sometimes. Im a sociable person so its kinda difficult for me not having any proper friends. for break one of the girls i sit with is a muslim girl but she leaves me out of conversations and is very judgemental and makes fun of people behind their back etc so i dont really like her that much. I cant really make any new proper friends due to the fact that everyone is already in their own friend groups,and its difficult to join a new group. so if i leave this group i will literally be by my self.Im the only girl who wears hijab in my year and i've had a couple of snarky comments said. I'm not trying to complain and i realise that there are people far worse off. Can i get some advice please and is anyone interested in being friends?
    In school there is a higher pressure to make friends and be around people because no one wants to be the weird kid that's sitting alone or secretly getting made fun of. There are cliques, teams, and club members around you so it can easily make you feel like you need to be a part of that experience. Having sincere, trusting, wise friends at your age is really difficult to come by because most of the students aren't level-headed and are rather hormonally driven. The funny thing is most of them move on after high school and they do not remain close friends. The beautiful thing about hijaab is that it can definitely be a deterrent for those who are shallow-minded. You will only attract good people worthy of your time and affection inshallah. Since this is your first year as a hijaabi, it will be one of your most rewarding years because you will overcome a lot and become stronger. You will need this strength in your future. I was in exactly your shoes and alhemdulilah I don't feel like I've missed out on anything. It won't feel like that now, but really focus on what's important which is your school and try not to let anything bother you in respect to making friends. Those things happen when you least expect them
    1 | Likes cinnamonrolls1 liked this post
    I have  no proper friends at school

    Al-Hârith b. Qays – Allah have mercy on him – said:

    When intending to do something good, do not delay it until tomorrow.
    When involved in something to do with the hereafter, keep yourself involved as long as you can.
    When involved in some worldly matter, put your mind to it (so as to get it done).
    And if you are praying and Shaytân whispers, ‘You are showing off,’ then make your prayer even longer.

    [Ibn Al-Mubârak in Al-Zuhd wa Al-Rqâ’iq Vol.1 p126]

  14. #11
    cinnamonrolls1's Avatar
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    Re: I have no proper friends at school

    Quote Originally Posted by *charisma* View Post
    Walaikum Asalaam



    In school there is a higher pressure to make friends and be around people because no one wants to be the weird kid that's sitting alone or secretly getting made fun of. There are cliques, teams, and club members around you so it can easily make you feel like you need to be a part of that experience. Having sincere, trusting, wise friends at your age is really difficult to come by because most of the students aren't level-headed and are rather hormonally driven. The funny thing is most of them move on after high school and they do not remain close friends. The beautiful thing about hijaab is that it can definitely be a deterrent for those who are shallow-minded. You will only attract good people worthy of your time and affection inshallah. Since this is your first year as a hijaabi, it will be one of your most rewarding years because you will overcome a lot and become stronger. You will need this strength in your future. I was in exactly your shoes and alhemdulilah I don't feel like I've missed out on anything. It won't feel like that now, but really focus on what's important which is your school and try not to let anything bother you in respect to making friends. Those things happen when you least expect them
    thank you,im starting to meet new people now at school so its gotten a lot better now.
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