I am coming to you mybrothers and sisters because i feel really lost and I am looking for anreligious answer.

To know me a little, I've always been a shy girland not the kind of girl that guys were interested to. I am the first child andmy parents made a lot of sacrifices for me so I always put my studies on thefirst place. Unfortunately, even if I always been successful, at one point Ifaced several trials in my scholar path.
Several months ago after a lot of struggles in mylife I had to change university. Again, a trial I was sad about. In this newtown and country I met a person who immediately fell in love with me, westarted to talk to each other and I fell in love with him. We had this peace inour heart when we were together in a way I never imagined living. We were bothdeeply in love with each other and we immediately talked about marriage. Theonly issue is that he is a foreigner and couldn't communicate with my parentsplus he is a revert (he converted before meeting me as several members of hisfamily are Muslims). As the same time my parents were not open for me to marrya non-arab especially a revert. So, we decided to wait until we could seem more"mature". We were seeing each other during this time (and dating as a"couple") but the guiltiness of doing something haram was alwaysabove us and we decided that we can't go any longer this way. We had so muchlove and so pure for each other cause we love for the sake of Allah that wewere really decided not to waste it by staying in a haram situation. We weremaking ourselves feeling better by saying "it's okay we are going to getmarried anyways" and I ask for forgiveness for this sin as we were fouledby Sheitan.
This man lost his mom on his teen age and sincethen he is really sensitive on loosing people especially because his wholefamily is leaving far from him. He was really counting on me but even if I wasloving him so much I had always this barrier due to this haram situation. Dueto this, I was often expressing some doubts about us which was hurting him alot. When he decided to talk to talk to his father he asked me if I was sureabout it and to never break up with him, I said yes. His dad wasn't so happyand asked him to wait. I couldn't take any longer so I broke up with him onanger. I regretted it and tried to talk to him the next day but he said that Ibroke his heart and doesn't want to talk to me anymore. He broke up and now I'mdesperate. We were so in love and so excited to marry to be together in thehereafter. Even though it was a haram love we deeply considered marriage and consideredeach other as married as we truly asked Allah every prayer to make marriageeasier to us. Even if it's mektoub, if our parents weren't so difficult we werealready married and now I don't know what to do. Should I keep trying to gainhis trust again and sabr or should I just move on ? I can't live with the idea that Iwill have several men in my life and I wished I've waited for the right one.
I am thanking God for this trial as I stayed close to him but it doesn't seem to be his case.

Thank you for your answers