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Am I being over protective or dirty minded??

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    anonymous's Avatar Restricted Member
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    Am I being over protective or dirty minded??

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    Salam

    Just something that's been playing on my mind and I would like to see the opinion of others please. My wife works and has been for several years. Recently I went to her workplace to collect her and was somewhat disgusted to see how some of her colleagues were behaving outside work. Again may I be forgiven if I am wrong but I'm sure we're all aware of the fitna that exists in this day and age. As I collected my wife there was two males prancing around with two female passengers. Now I understand we have to lower our gaze but to me it was so blatant it was hard not to see. Now you might think so what, what's the big deal but to me the exchange looked inappropriate to say the least and I think we all know'needless interaction between the genders is something that should be avoided. May Allah again forgive me for making a false assumption but I was quite annoyed to say the least that they were behaving in such a manner and that too outside their workplace. Now this is where things got heated between me and the Mrs. I just asked her if she works immediately with these individuals as I wouldn't be happy if she did based on the behavior I saw. Now I think any man would feel this way with regard to her colleagues. But I was accused of being filthy minded as I did not know what was being discussed but to put it mildly it looked like very unIslamic which I think nobody can dispute.

    I only asked for my peace of mind as I know how guys work as most sane guys do. I'm not for a second being suspicious but I am just uneasy with the idea of her working with young lads who lack morals. I probley will be given a lecture on how we shouldn't make negative assumptions but we can only judge on the apparent and most would agree it's against the concept of modesty. I think in the context of it concerning my wife I was just being protective of her yes you could argue over protective but is that a bad thing??

    How would others react in such a situation. should I turn a blind eye or was I right to query it.

    JazakAllah
    Am I being over protective or dirty minded??

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    Re: Am I being over protective or dirty minded??

    wasalam

    you are not being dirty minded. If someone's wife was working with male colleagues who were being flirtatious to say the least, he has every right to be concerned. If you are concerned then go pick her up everyday or often as you can and see how those guys are behaving. If she doesn't like it and accuses you of a dirty mind, let her know their behavior speaks for itself. Your right over her as her husband gives you that much and she can't even work without your permission islamically. But you don't to make your marriage worst , so just pick her up more often and see how things go.
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    Re: Am I being over protective or dirty minded??

    format_quote Originally Posted by anonymous View Post
    Salam

    Just something that's been playing on my mind and I would like to see the opinion of others please. My wife works and has been for several years. Recently I went to her workplace to collect her and was somewhat disgusted to see how some of her colleagues were behaving outside work. Again may I be forgiven if I am wrong but I'm sure we're all aware of the fitna that exists in this day and age. As I collected my wife there was two males prancing around with two female passengers. Now I understand we have to lower our gaze but to me it was so blatant it was hard not to see. Now you might think so what, what's the big deal but to me the exchange looked inappropriate to say the least and I think we all know'needless interaction between the genders is something that should be avoided. May Allah again forgive me for making a false assumption but I was quite annoyed to say the least that they were behaving in such a manner and that too outside their workplace. Now this is where things got heated between me and the Mrs. I just asked her if she works immediately with these individuals as I wouldn't be happy if she did based on the behavior I saw. Now I think any man would feel this way with regard to her colleagues. But I was accused of being filthy minded as I did not know what was being discussed but to put it mildly it looked like very unIslamic which I think nobody can dispute.

    I only asked for my peace of mind as I know how guys work as most sane guys do. I'm not for a second being suspicious but I am just uneasy with the idea of her working with young lads who lack morals. I probley will be given a lecture on how we shouldn't make negative assumptions but we can only judge on the apparent and most would agree it's against the concept of modesty. I think in the context of it concerning my wife I was just being protective of her yes you could argue over protective but is that a bad thing??

    How would others react in such a situation. should I turn a blind eye or was I right to query it.

    JazakAllah
    Assalamu Alaikum

    It's a very noble trait to feel protective jealousy over one's wife. You shouldn't feel bad about it or made to feel bad about it. A man who has no protective jealousy over his wife and does not care if strange men are around her is called a "dayooth." It's narrated by the prophet salalahu alayhisalaam that a dayooth will be amongst those who will not enter jannah.
    Am I being over protective or dirty minded??

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