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Thread: Divorce advice

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    Krkr's Avatar
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    Divorce advice

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    Asalam aleykum. I will try to make this breif as best as i can. Im a revert muslim. I want to know my rights as a wife as i cant stand being married anymore. Hes born a muslim but 2months after marriage he completely changed. He blames me for his now uncontrollable anger. Not only that he is verbally and physically abusive. I have come to the point where i have to defend myself and hit back. I confined in him and told him of when as a child i was sexually abused by my brothers and when hes mad he brings it up saying i liked it and to go visit them again. But i was hust 7yrs old and it wasnt my fault.! He is so mean! Things are so bad because he starts by throwing things at me and then escalates to punches, bites, choking and slaps on his part. I admit i have much blame because im so jealous either way now eveything i dnt agree with him in sets him off and starts by cursing. Hates my son (6yrold) which is not biologically his(he has told me and him he hates him) i feel so bad because my son asks me why he doesn’t love him, hates my parents n curses at them, hate my brothers, hates this house(parents house) where he currently lives in. All his failure are because of being with me according to him yet he wont leave. He wont pray n wont teach me. Im learning on my own though. Im tired of trying to sit him down for us to talk but he wont budge. I try to cook and he doesn’t like it.! I am trying to save my marriage but i now find it impossible. All he has said to me is just so vile. In addition he only pays for bill of things he uses like internet& his phone. I really hate him at times. Then again i feel guilty because i tell him to leave and divorce me or he will be pushing me to use law enforcement which i dont want since he is under conditional green card. Maybe he just used me for that. I mean when does Allah say this is enough, divorce him! Or is this a test? Im so confused i really wanted to be married forever. Pls any advice will trully help in helping me decide.

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    *charisma*'s Avatar
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    Re: Divorce advice

    Walaikum Asalaam @Krkr ,

    He does not pray and therefore he is not a God-fearing man. This should be his #1 priority for himself. When refusing to pray and also refusing to teach you, this alone puts him in a state of kufr and is grounds for divorce. Scholars even say that not praying actually annuls your marriage and you should no longer share a bed together. See here: https://islamqa.info/en/6257

    I suggest going and speaking to a local scholar about your problems to find a solution. May Allah replace what you're dealing with with something much better.

    Also if you really want to learn how to pray, stick around. I'll teach you
    Last edited by *charisma*; 1 Week Ago at 01:49 PM.
    Divorce advice

    Were it not that Allah treats His slaves with the remedy of trials and calamities,
    they would transgress and overstep the mark.
    When Allah wills good for His slaves,
    He gives him the medicine of calamities and trials according to his situation,
    so as to cure him from all fatal illnesses and diseases,
    until He purifies and cleanses him,
    and then makes him qualified for the most honourable position in this world,
    which is that of being a true slave of Allah (‘uboodiyyah),
    and for the greatest reward in the Hereafter,
    which is that of seeing Him and being close to Him.
    [Ibn AlQayyim, Zaad al-Ma’aad, 4/195]

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    Krkr's Avatar
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    Re: Divorce advice

    Hi again! Sorry for my late reply. Hope all is well InshAllah! I thank you for your advice and yes pls i need much help with prayer. Here where i live Islam is very limited and mostly all people here practice christianity. Thank u again. Jazak Allahu khayran!

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    *charisma*'s Avatar
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    Re: Divorce advice

    @Krkr

    What steps of salaah (prayer) do you know already?? Do you have anything from the Quran memorized such as al fatiha, al ikhlas, etc?
    Divorce advice

    Were it not that Allah treats His slaves with the remedy of trials and calamities,
    they would transgress and overstep the mark.
    When Allah wills good for His slaves,
    He gives him the medicine of calamities and trials according to his situation,
    so as to cure him from all fatal illnesses and diseases,
    until He purifies and cleanses him,
    and then makes him qualified for the most honourable position in this world,
    which is that of being a true slave of Allah (‘uboodiyyah),
    and for the greatest reward in the Hereafter,
    which is that of seeing Him and being close to Him.
    [Ibn AlQayyim, Zaad al-Ma’aad, 4/195]

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    Krkr's Avatar
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    Re: Divorce advice

    Yes i know only how to perform wudu n already memorized surah al Fatiha. Maybe u can recommend some videos to follow. Thank you!

    Quote Originally Posted by *charisma* View Post
    @Krkr

    What steps of salaah (prayer) do you know already?? Do you have anything from the Quran memorized such as al fatiha, al ikhlas, etc?

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    *charisma*'s Avatar
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    Re: Divorce advice

    Quote Originally Posted by Krkr View Post
    Yes i know only how to perform wudu n already memorized surah al Fatiha. Maybe u can recommend some videos to follow. Thank you!
    You can look through at this thread: Learn How to Pray & FAQ

    I compiled many helpful videos that will help with the essential du'as and surahs needed for prayer, as well as the actual steps. Feel free to ask more questions if something is unclear to you. I know it can feel overwhelming so we are here to support each other
    Divorce advice

    Were it not that Allah treats His slaves with the remedy of trials and calamities,
    they would transgress and overstep the mark.
    When Allah wills good for His slaves,
    He gives him the medicine of calamities and trials according to his situation,
    so as to cure him from all fatal illnesses and diseases,
    until He purifies and cleanses him,
    and then makes him qualified for the most honourable position in this world,
    which is that of being a true slave of Allah (‘uboodiyyah),
    and for the greatest reward in the Hereafter,
    which is that of seeing Him and being close to Him.
    [Ibn AlQayyim, Zaad al-Ma’aad, 4/195]

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