I feel like imaan and taqwa and religion no longer excites me. islam no longer excites me. im just tired of it all. i get so tried of backstabbing politics, backwards cultural practices, constantly having to explain myself with apologetics and dawah, and being seduced by the wonders of this world.
it has gotten to the point where if i see, on a forum, (a secular one),
a parent complaining that their 16 year old son is doing something haram, i feel like shouting "why is it any of your business????"
it has gotten to the point where when i have left the islamic side of youtube out of disgust for their politics and cultural backwardsness and general backwardsness, that i turn to the secular side, and i even turned to quora (a leftist leaning information site) before i was banned, to the point that now whenever i see a video about a gay couple and how much they love each other, i feel like writing, "awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww <3" like one video i saw today ... (i only saw a few seconds, but got bored).
it has gotten to the point where i feel disgusted where evolution is banned in muslim nations' school curriculula, simply because i despise their leader, and because i mysefl have started to believe in evolution.
it has gotten to the point where i have started to believe in rights for gays even in muslim countries, despite believing (in principle, i no longer feel disgust for the lifestyle), that gays will go to hell.
it has gotten to the point where i have started to idolize romantic love in the manner played out by westerners, in the form of western style dating, and have even made goals to date, with the aid of my mother, who was even disappointed to hear i cut off plans with one girl out of fear of Allah, as well as fear of the unknown.
it has gotten to the point where i have started to idolize Ataturk more than Said Nursi, and even considered if the dajjal and mahdi system were all based on weak hadeeth or all fulfillfed by Umar II. (RA)
it has gotten to the point where I no longer pay attention the events in filisteen, (I think of them as backwards, islamist supporting terrorists astaghfirullah),
or syria (punishment for betraying ottomans, punishment for aiding sunni terrorists who are just as bad as assad astaghfirullah)
or yemen (all i know about them is that they marry off 10 year old girls like nujood ali, let them kill each other, i say to myself, astaghfirulah")
i have become numb to the suffering o the ummah
what should i do?
Last edited by AabiruSabeel; 12-08-2017 at 08:19 PM.
Reason: removed mention of sins
I feel like imaan and taqwa and religion no longer excites me. islam no longer excites me. im just tired of it all. i get so tried of backstabbing politics, backwards cultural practices, constantly having to explain myself with apologetics and dawah, and being seduced by the wonders of this world.
it has gotten to the point where if i see, on a forum, (a secular one),
a parent complaining that their 16 year old son is doing something haram, i feel like shouting "why is it any of your business????"
it has gotten to the point where when i have left the islamic side of youtube out of disgust for their politics and cultural backwardsness and general backwardsness, that i turn to the secular side, and i even turned to quora (a leftist leaning information site) before i was banned, to the point that now whenever i see a video about a gay couple and how much they love each other, i feel like writing, "awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww <3" like one video i saw today ... (i only saw a few seconds, but got bored).
it has gotten to the point where i feel disgusted where evolution is banned in muslim nations' school curriculula, simply because i despise their leader, and because i mysefl have started to believe in evolution.
it has gotten to the point where i have started to believe in rights for gays even in muslim countries, despite believing (in principle, i no longer feel disgust for the lifestyle), that gays will go to hell.
it has gotten to the point where i have started to idolize romantic love in the manner played out by westerners, in the form of western style dating, and have even made goals to date, with the aid of my mother, who was even disappointed to hear i cut off plans with one girl out of fear of Allah, as well as fear of the unknown.
it has gotten to the point where i have started to idolize Ataturk more than Said Nursi, and even considered if the dajjal and mahdi system were all based on weak hadeeth or all fulfillfed by Umar II. (RA)
it has gotten to the point where I no longer pay attention the events in filisteen, (I think of them as backwards, islamist supporting terrorists astaghfirullah),
or syria (punishment for betraying ottomans, punishment for aiding sunni terrorists who are just as bad as assad astaghfirullah)
or yemen (all i know about them is that they marry off 10 year old girls like nujood ali, let them kill each other, i say to myself, astaghfirulah")
i have become numb to the suffering o the ummah
what should i do?
Brother, everyone has ups and downs of their Imaan. Sometimes we are so involved in ibadaat that we promise not to do anything else than to worship Allah. And other times, we find ourselves so involved in worldly pleasures that we start becoming numb of Allah and his greatness.
whatever you to get close to Allah REQUIRES your OWN self initiative FIRST. Allah will not send angels to bring you your imaan on a silver platter, YOU must RE-EARN Allah's trust again.
Brother, we are all humans and we all go astray sometimes and make mistakes. It is good however, that you are feeling slightly regretful and that you recognize where you mistakes lie.
What you could do to once again be CLOSER TO ALLAH (in my opinion):
1. Do not miss your 5 daily prayers (these prayers are seen as BEST deeds in the eyes of Allah)
2. go the extra mile. Pray 2 rakat tawba astaghfar (at min) and sincerely ask Allah for forgiveness and tell him what you are doing that you feel regretful for.
3. Try to replace your bad deed for good deed. (ie, make more donations in the Mosque/needy foundations; smile at somebody with the neeyat that Allah might be pleased; let a driver take you over; help somebody out' bring groceries for family; pay a bill; tell your family how much they mean to you ETC.. (no deed is small in the eyes of Allah)
InshAllah do these with a sincere heart and Allah will open your heart once again and strengthen your imaan.
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