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  1. #1
    mohammed said's Avatar
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    A.Aleyqum brothers and sisters,i need your advice please coz my heart is in pain of my actions.
    Astaghfirullah,i engaged in unlawful relationship with a non-muslim lady that ended up to having a child and for the sake of wanting to be close to the child and atleast guide her to the right Faith i kept the relation going and trying to give Daawah to the lady so that we can get married according to islamic sharriah.All the lady says is that she is ok with converting to islam but 3yrs down the line even after giving her the English translated Quran and lots of Dr.zakir naik's debates n lectures,Mufti Menk's lectures n alot from even the likes of Dr.Bilal philip,Sheikh.Yusha Evans,Yusuf Estes this lady is still the same as she was back then.She shows no interest but still if i ask her about reverting to Islam she has no objection,my fear is that possibly she tells me that only to marry me.Please advice me,what do i do?av tried teaching her all about Islam from dress code to everything but no changes so far.i have even shared WHY I EMBRACED ISLAM FACEBOOK PAGE but oops nothing promosing so far
    N/B....I trully regret my actions and praying to Allah (SWT) to forgive me.

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  3. #2
    Mahir Adnan's Avatar
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    Re: Help Help Help a Brother

    is she ahlul kitab?? did she ever committed zina in past?
    I am feeling so sorry for you brother . can you ask her,why haven't she reverted yet? I mean, what's her problem? what's holding her back? ask her. examine her reactions. watch everything from deep. try to understand her mind.
    I'll request you to read a book on methods of giving dawah. https://d1.islamhouse.com/data/en/ih...Make_Dawah.pdf

    if she is Christian https://islamhouse.com/en/books/318733/
    you can hear this lecture https://islamhouse.com/en/audios/48663/
    another lecture https://d1.islamhouse.com/data/en/ih...ethodology.mp3
    if none of the above works
    I can't assure you that, this will work. but there is a probability. read 'the power of habit by Charles duhigg http://www.therightmind.com.au/FileU...-fin060712.pdf
    this book explained human mind in a different way. you can its knowledge to influence her mind

  4. #3
    Desert's Avatar
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    Re: Help Help Help a Brother

    forget the girl

    keep the baby and raise him well
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  5. #4
    mohammed said's Avatar
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    Re: Help Help Help a Brother

    Thanks brother Mahir Adnan,she is Ahlil qitab and Inshaallah i'll use your above help to try help her see the light Inshaallah.Thanks bro JZK
    Thanks alot @Desert,Allah the all knowing will guide us all Inshaallah Amiiiinn

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    Bushwackk's Avatar
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    Re: Help Help Help a Brother

    Mohammad Said - Why would she want to become a Muslim when you're no example of one?
    1 | Likes Mahir Adnan liked this post
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  8. #6
    cinnamonrolls1's Avatar
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    Re: Help Help Help a Brother

    Maybe try some other scholars... Im not personally a fan of dr zakir naik. And honestly, you cant just expect someone to convert to a religion just like that?? And theres stuff more important rhat dress code in islam- our salah and our action- im pretty sure Allah cares more abt whether or not we pray than whether or not we're wearing jeans.

  9. #7
    cinnamonrolls1's Avatar
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    Re: Help Help Help a Brother

    Im sorry but i disagree with ur attitude towards her, you cant force something like this. No point tryna force her.

  10. #8
    cinnamonrolls1's Avatar
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    Re: Help Help Help a Brother

    Maybe yall should just split on amiable terms and have joint custody or something- i dont think ur child will want to grow up with all the turmoil surrounding yalls

  11. #9
    mohammed said's Avatar
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    Re: Help Help Help a Brother

    Indeed man is to error and the best of us the one who realises their mistake and turn back to make a change....Thanks for your Advice,i appreciate.JZK
    1 | Likes Mahir Adnan liked this post

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    Mahir Adnan's Avatar
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    Re: Help Help Help a Brother


    Man! I got world's most disgusting stupid idea.before I reveal my satanic mind I want to say something, you know, I think, girls are not really serious about their deen. well,there are some exceptions.
    (seems that we are talking about a nerd pretty, quiet girl with glasses) I have some personal experiences,no matter how much you try,books,lectures and face-to-face dawah don't affect them much.
    a very beautiful way is to make yourself a idol to her ,as one of the brothers mentioned above.

    you can't revert anyone to Islam just by giving him lectures, books etc.you have to follow some certain steps.

    so,now time to reveal my evil idea . when she is outside,I would drop a letter at the door saying.
    Hi,
    I am jason bourne,professor of psychology at CIA university. I along with my partner are researching on an interesting subject. We are trying to understand, why some people change their religion and some people not.
    So,we have randomly chosen 300 persons around the city. You are one of them. We noted down your address while dropping the envelope at the door. one of my student will come 2 days later to take the form containing answers from you.Or,you can just put it in the mail box,we'll collecte it from there.
    Please, answer the questions given below.

    Gender :
    Age:
    Educational Qualifications :
    Job:
    Total income :
    Total expenditure :
    No. family member :
    religion :
    Did you ever think to change your religion? why?
    why haven't you leave your religion yet?
    why haven't you choose Buddhism?
    Why haven't you choose Hinduism?
    Why haven't you choose Islam?
    why haven't you choose Christianity?
    which religion attracts you most?
    are you willing to accept that religion? why?

    what made you to change your religion?
    which thing of that religion attracts you most?
    if you are not willing to change, then write why?
    under what circumstances you will accept that? is there any condition you will propose?
    if you are not willing to accept any religion only for any reason, will you suggest your friends and children to follow that though?
    Thank you for your co-operation.


    what if I were you

    I would drop fatwa at islamqa.com today . I would print out a letter as shown above on that day. next day,I would leave that at the door. 2 days later,I would send an unknown person to ask for the envelope from CIA university.

    Then, I would finish all of the books including 'the power of habit ',lectures within 2 weeks.
    I would collect my fatwa from web.and try each method/ process / steps to convert her.I would continue the process 6 months.as I know why she doesn't accept Islam, it's easy to make a plan.
    nevertheless, if she don't revert. I would talk to her.(if the fatwa says to marry her,then no problem. but if they say to leave her,then... :-)

    "you know, I am a bad person. I did something which I should not do. Now,I am suffering from inside. We Muslims strictly protect our promise, I wanted to keep ours too.
    but, how can I live with a Christian? my religion doesn't permit that. I am so sorry for my mistake. even though, I don't want to leave you,but I am helpless. you know what I mean.
    so... can I ask you a favour? can you let our child to live with me?

    if she says,no. Man,you are doomed
    the court won't give the child to you.so try to convince her without going court.just request her to raise the child as a Muslim . I would let her be lost in my past.So,...goodbye
    May Allah guide her.May Allah forgives us all for our sins.-amin

  14. #11
    cinnamonrolls1's Avatar
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    Re: Help Help Help a Brother

    Quote Originally Posted by Mahir Adnan View Post

    Man! I got world's most disgusting stupid idea.before I reveal my satanic mind I want to say something, you know, I think, girls are not really serious about their deen. well,there are some exceptions.
    (seems that we are talking about a nerd pretty, quiet girl with glasses) I have some personal experiences,no matter how much you try,books,lectures and face-to-face dawah don't affect them much.
    a very beautiful way is to make yourself a idol to her ,as one of the brothers mentioned above.

    you can't revert anyone to Islam just by giving him lectures, books etc.you have to follow some certain steps.

    so,now time to reveal my evil idea . when she is outside,I would drop a letter at the door saying.
    Hi,
    I am jason bourne,professor of psychology at CIA university. I along with my partner are researching on an interesting subject. We are trying to understand, why some people change their religion and some people not.
    So,we have randomly chosen 300 persons around the city. You are one of them. We noted down your address while dropping the envelope at the door. one of my student will come 2 days later to take the form containing answers from you.Or,you can just put it in the mail box,we'll collecte it from there.
    Please, answer the questions given below.

    Gender :
    Age:
    Educational Qualifications :
    Job:
    Total income :
    Total expenditure :
    No. family member :
    religion :
    Did you ever think to change your religion? why?
    why haven't you leave your religion yet?
    why haven't you choose Buddhism?
    Why haven't you choose Hinduism?
    Why haven't you choose Islam?
    why haven't you choose Christianity?
    which religion attracts you most?
    are you willing to accept that religion? why?

    what made you to change your religion?
    which thing of that religion attracts you most?
    if you are not willing to change, then write why?
    under what circumstances you will accept that? is there any condition you will propose?
    if you are not willing to accept any religion only for any reason, will you suggest your friends and children to follow that though?
    Thank you for your co-operation.


    what if I were you

    I would drop fatwa at islamqa.com today . I would print out a letter as shown above on that day. next day,I would leave that at the door. 2 days later,I would send an unknown person to ask for the envelope from CIA university.

    Then, I would finish all of the books including 'the power of habit ',lectures within 2 weeks.
    I would collect my fatwa from web.and try each method/ process / steps to convert her.I would continue the process 6 months.as I know why she doesn't accept Islam, it's easy to make a plan.
    nevertheless, if she don't revert. I would talk to her.(if the fatwa says to marry her,then no problem. but if they say to leave her,then... :-)

    "you know, I am a bad person. I did something which I should not do. Now,I am suffering from inside. We Muslims strictly protect our promise, I wanted to keep ours too.
    but, how can I live with a Christian? my religion doesn't permit that. I am so sorry for my mistake. even though, I don't want to leave you,but I am helpless. you know what I mean.
    so... can I ask you a favour? can you let our child to live with me?

    if she says,no. Man,you are doomed
    the court won't give the child to you.so try to convince her without going court.just request her to raise the child as a Muslim . I would let her be lost in my past.So,...goodbye
    May Allah guide her.May Allah forgives us all for our sins.-amin
    Did you really just say you dont think girls are religious? Well thanks for generalising us all first. Or hmm maybe i should say i dont think guys are religious since they commit zina, smoke drink and have strange fascinations with non muslim women...oh wait that would be generalising all dudes.

  15. #12
    mohammed said's Avatar
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    Re: Help Help Help a Brother

    @Mahir Adnan
    What a great coz i know this will definately give me the light and Inshaallah with Allah's guidance i'll get out of this situation.Shuqran bro n am printing out a copy already for a delivery guy to deliver it for me and the process is on like pap.
    @cinnamonrolls 1
    Amsorry sister on behalf of my brother @Mahir he was only trying to make understand his point and possibly never meant that you our sisters arent Religious.sorry about that and thanks for helping a brother
    1 | Likes cinnamonrolls1 liked this post

  16. #13
    Mahir Adnan's Avatar
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    Re: Help Help Help a Brother

    Quote Originally Posted by cinnamonrolls1 View Post
    Did you really just say you dont think girls are religious? Well thanks for generalising us all first. Or hmm maybe i should say i dont think guys are religious since they commit zina, smoke drink and have strange fascinations with non muslim women...oh wait that would be generalising all dudes.
    feminism!!! c'mon,just kidding. well,I have some really bad experience with ladies, you know. but I don't mean, everyone is like that.& you are right. boys do many sins. and we commit zina.and it's easy to commit, isn't it?.if you are a girl, you won't understand,I think. well,it's hard for me to commit zina.I don't know why,but may be, it would be hard for me to commit if certain situation arises. I know some of friends who have committed zina at an early age. may be,this is the reason why,on qiyamat, Allah will give those shade who will refuse to commit zina with beautiful rich girl. this honor can't be achieved easily by a man.it requires strong iman and most of the boys don't have that.
    you know, the last person who will enter jannah,is a man,not woman. because, our sins are huge.
    I said,many of the girls are not religious and it's evidence is nakedness. well,indirectly men are responsible for that. because we send girls away from masjid.so,they don't know deen & love to ilm.boys are not religious too.
    I also met girls fighting atheists on facebook.com. I saw theirs debate on 'woman's right in Islam '.but how many examples could be depicted like that? only few.wait a minute, who am I to judge? I ain't good either.
    admin would kick me out of this forum,if Allah exposed my sins and everybody would leave me.
    may Allah guide us all.both men&women are in khusr.bismillahir rahmanir rahim.wal asr.innal ingsana la fi khusr.
    bro n am printing out a copy already for a delivery guy to deliver it for me and the process is on like pap.
    man! you are as mad as I am. may Allah pour peace in your heart
    1 | Likes cinnamonrolls1 liked this post

  17. #14
    cinnamonrolls1's Avatar
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    Re: Help Help Help a Brother

    Quote Originally Posted by mohammed said View Post
    @Mahir Adnan
    What a great coz i know this will definately give me the light and Inshaallah with Allah's guidance i'll get out of this situation.Shuqran bro n am printing out a copy already for a delivery guy to deliver it for me and the process is on like pap.
    @cinnamonrolls 1
    Amsorry sister on behalf of my brother @Mahir he was only trying to make understand his point and possibly never meant that you our sisters arent Religious.sorry about that and thanks for helping a brother
    Its alright! I was just a bit offended tbh

    Sent from my [device_name] using IslamicBoard mobile app
    1 | Likes Mahir Adnan liked this post

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