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Mother not letting me become Islamic scholar except after uni

اَللَّهُ أَكْبَرُ اللَّهُ أَكْبَرُ اللَّهُ أَكْبَرُ - لَا إلَهَ إلَّا اللَّهُ وَاَللَّهُ أَكْبَرُ اَللَّهُ أَكْبَرُ وَلِلَّهِ الْحَمْد - اَللَّهُ أَكْبَرُ اللَّهُ أَكْبَرُ اللَّهُ أَكْبَرُ - لَا إلَهَ إلَّا اللَّهُ وَاَللَّهُ أَكْبَرُ اَللَّهُ أَكْبَرُ وَلِلَّهِ الْحَمْد - اَللَّهُ أَكْبَرُ اللَّهُ أَكْبَرُ اللَّهُ أَكْبَرُ - لَا إلَهَ إلَّا اللَّهُ وَاَللَّهُ أَكْبَرُ اَللَّهُ أَكْبَرُ وَلِلَّهِ الْحَمْد - اللَّهُ أَكْبَرُ كَبِيرًا وَالْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ كَثِيرًا وَسُبْحَانَ اللَّهِ بُكْرَةً وَأَصِيلًا
20 Sunnah to do on 'Eid

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  1. #1
    Mustafa16's Avatar
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    Mother not letting me become Islamic scholar except after uni

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    I want to go to madrassa to become an Islamic scholar, but my mother.....is forcing me to go to university first, saying that my plan is dumb idea, and all people who go to madrassa first go to college and then get a degree in islamic studies. she said if i dont go to college she'll throw me out of her home.
    Last edited by MuslimInshallah; 02-17-2018 at 12:33 AM.

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    00001001's Avatar
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    Re: Mother not letting me become Islamic scholar except after uni

    Can't you do both?

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    Mustafa16's Avatar
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    Re: Mother not letting me become Islamic scholar except after uni

    Quote Originally Posted by 00001001 View Post
    Can't you do both?
    they both cost, money, time, and resources, and work
    1 | Likes فصيح الياسين liked this post

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    MuslimInshallah's Avatar
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    Re: Mother not letting me become Islamic scholar except after uni

    (smile) Assalaamu alaikum Mustafa,

    I can understand your frustration... but on the other hand I can understand your mother's point of view.

    (smile) It seems to me that the first thing to do is to get yourself into good shape. I don't just mean physically. Being a scholar is a heavy responsibility, and unfortunately, one sees sometimes young people who have done some studies and think this means they are now experts... but they have not yet learnt the sort of good manners and character that is needed, nor the wisdom necessary to deal with thorny problems.

    Dealing with the Gifts you have been Blessed with is not easy. Being able to restrain yourself, connect with others and deal with the effects of a broken family... (smile) these are hard. But, this may surprise you, if you can work with what you have and come out the other side strong and balanced... (smile) you have a really good set of circumstances! Imagine: a scholar who understands the challenges of autism. Of growing up as a minority. Of the evils of sectarianism. Of the difficulties of damaged families in this technological world of ours. Who is fluent in English and understands the people around him. (smile) Such a scholar would be a real light in the darkness, don't you think?

    You are very young still. You have time to study. (smile) And of the scholars I know, quite a few have degrees in areas other than Islamic Studies. And this is a good thing! It means they can bring specialized knowledge to inform their understandings. For instance, one scholar I know studied Computer Science before Islamic Studies. And he brings ideas he learnt there to help understand and communicate with people who are very influenced by mathematical and techy sorts of ideas. His da'wah is so much more focused and clear.

    (gently) Why not focus on getting your life going smoothly for now? Work with your mood swings, your problems connecting with people, your relationships with difficult people around you. None of this is wasted effort. On the contrary, it is much needed effort, if you truly want to be of benefit to others. (smile) And a true scholar should only be studying with the intent to be of benefit to others. Those who do it for prestige, or vanity, or to impress women, or whatever... are likely to not end up as really good scholars. (smile) Some people may mature and correct their intentions along the way, to be sure. But if you start off on the wrong Path... it is so much harder to set things right later, it seems to me.

    (smile) Don't worry and feel like you must rush, Mustafa. God Willing, you will find a way to become the beautiful unique person God Created you to be. (smile) Just put one foot in front of the other, little by little, and try your best to please Allah.


    May Allah, the Subtle, the Almighty, Guide and Protect you.
    1 | Likes cinnamonrolls1 liked this post
    Mother not letting me become Islamic scholar except after uni

    Our finitude is our distance from Him. His infinitude is His closeness to us. Abdal-Hakim Murad @Contentions



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    Re: Mother not letting me become Islamic scholar except after uni

    YOUR MOM HAS A POINT.

    If you get college degree then you can support yourself, then go becke scholar. If you become scholar then how are you going to support yourself if something happens?

    University, then become scholar.

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    AabiruSabeel's Avatar
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    Re: Mother not letting me become Islamic scholar except after uni

    Quote Originally Posted by MiracleSurvivor View Post
    YOUR MOM HAS A POINT.

    If you get college degree then you can support yourself, then go becke scholar. If you become scholar then how are you going to support yourself if something happens?

    University, then become scholar.

    That's not the case always. There are many Islamic scholars who never went to any technical college or school and still run successful businesses. As far as I'm aware, imam Abu Hanifah was also a cloth merchant.

    Allah is the provider of sustenance, and He does not need a college degree for that.

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    Al Khorasani's Avatar
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    Re: Mother not letting me become Islamic scholar except after uni

    Asalamu Alaikum

    Get a regular degree first, then train to become a scholar.

    No point arguing with your mum when you can satisfy both your own and her desires.

    Besides, it's good to have a backup plan in case training to be a scholar doesn't work well for you.

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    sister herb's Avatar
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    Re: Mother not letting me become Islamic scholar except after uni

    You better listen your mother. And think a lot before you get new idea about your career.
    Mother not letting me become Islamic scholar except after uni

    From Occupied Palestine:

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    Re: Mother not letting me become Islamic scholar except after uni

    Quote Originally Posted by Mustafa16 View Post
    I want to go to madrassa to become an Islamic scholar, but my mother.....is forcing me to go to university first, saying that my plan is dumb idea, and all people who go to madrassa first go to college and then get a degree in islamic studies. she said if i dont go to college she'll throw me out of her home.
    May Allah make it easy for you.
    1 | Likes Al Khorasani liked this post
    Mother not letting me become Islamic scholar except after uni

    "When a person sees the road as too long, he weakens in his walk." - Ibn Qayyim al-Jawziyyah

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    Mustafa16's Avatar
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    Re: Mother not letting me become Islamic scholar except after uni

    I've already decided to study at uni, first, thanks guys. i found an online madrasa i can attend part time in my last two years of college or starting next year (ealim.org http://najaminstitute.com/eAlim/ which belongs to the Islamic institute of atlanta), and then after college going to physical madrasa fulll time or part time, and becoming a scholar. or just getting a secular job.

    2 | Likes sister herb, Umm Malik liked this post

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    Umm Malik's Avatar
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    Re: Mother not letting me become Islamic scholar except after uni


    May allah make it easy for you
    Make istikharah and if your mother still want you to do that then tell her that I am going to do it for the sake of you
    You know sometimes I was doing things just to make my mom happy even though I was feeling like it's not the real choice but by the time I know that either my mom was correct or sometimes allah helped me just because I made her happy with that
    And I remember one day my younger brother was wanting to study biological learning but my dad tell him that he want him to do another thing ... subhanallah he did just for my dad even though that specialty was less than that but after a few years he get a very powerful work mashallah and now he sometimes remember that and tell us that the blessing of making your parent happy is very important .
    I don't mean to dont try with her to be agree with you after making istikharah ... but if you see like she will be angry than be patient and tell her .. ok mom I think you are correct.
    You know even if you don't feel happy when you say that.. after a time you will found a big iman in your heart
    Because patient with parent sometimes will be so hard but if you do it for the sake of allah you will found help and support from him
    Because everyone of us have a test and some people them test is them parent ... they may be good in them heart ... but them actions can make us think another thing .. but if you try to think they may be not as I see them ... they may be do what they do because of pain in them life and they cant explain them love just by being like that.
    So at any time we try to found excuses for other we get more rewarded and give them chance to correct them selves and to know that they are wrong.
    So make this as a big jihad of nafs and allah will graduate you for sure to be a scholar inshallah
    You know from the first time you intend to do that allah give you that reward inshallah
    Make sure that your mom is trying to do with you something she believe like its the best for you ... she is looking for seeing you in a good rank in this dunya
    So ... please help her also with your douaa and your istikharah and also by keeping this intention of being a scholar as a goal even if you don't have chance to do it now than at the time when allah help ...
    And help her to be in a good rank in the akhirah.
    Sorry for my long reply but I was wanting to say that in some of your topic and I didnt do so ... its the chance to say that here
    Because parent Sometimes have a very good heart but they cant explain them love correctly and even if our parent have some things we want them to change than we can change them by the help of allah and douaa and even doing rukya because sometimes we need it in our life especially if the argues seems like its every day or don't stoped
    Than you have to do rukya for yourself and for them even if they don't know and recits quran a lot in your home
    May allah make everything easy for you and reward you for your sabr and help you to do what is best for you for bouth dunyah and akhirah
    Ameeen
    Last edited by Umm Malik; 02-25-2018 at 11:06 PM.
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  15. #12
    umie's Avatar
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    Re: Mother not letting me become Islamic scholar except after uni

    It is dependent on where you live.
    Here in West Europe, you will not find a job if you do not have some sort of degree. even working at a supermarket or as a factory worker (production) requires some sort of diploma's and certificates. So with only your madrassa diploma you do not have many job opportunities in western Europe. So I can understand your mother.
    I would also advice against it. On the other side, if you do live in a Islamic country, then this should not be a problem.


    Quote Originally Posted by AabiruSabeel View Post
    That's not the case always. There are many Islamic scholars who never went to any technical college or school and still run successful businesses. As far as I'm aware, imam Abu Hanifah was also a cloth merchant.

    Allah is the provider of sustenance, and He does not need a college degree for that.
    Although I do agree with your last sentence, this is a pretty dumb comparison you are making here. You cannot compare the situation then with now. Try to be a cloth merchant nowadays if you can without any relevant diploma's and certificates.
    I know what you want to try to say...Allah is the provider of everything...he can sustain you if he wants...but this does not mean you do not have to take any actions.

    example, you can plant seeds on your land and then go praying non stop that Allah will grant you a good harvest...but this will not going to happen if you do not water the planted seeds regularly.
    Do what you can to go safe, and then you can rely on Allah.
    1 | Likes czgibson liked this post

  16. #13
    AabiruSabeel's Avatar
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    Re: Mother not letting me become Islamic scholar except after uni

    Entrepreneurship doesn't require a college degree in most cases. I personally know two Alims who are running successful businesses. There are many others like them.

    College degrees are only needed if you want to work for someone else. If you have your own work, then who cares?

    See this for more examples: https://www.entrepreneur.com/slideshow/299620

    8 Hugely Successful People Who Didn't Graduate College
    If you're on the fence on whether you need a formal education to succeed, these individuals prove that having vision and the drive is more than enough....



    Quote Originally Posted by umie View Post
    this is a pretty dumb comparison you are making here. You cannot compare the situation then with now. Try to be a cloth merchant nowadays if you can without any relevant diploma's and certificates.
    Isn't it dumb for a man to spend his whole life working for someone else, making someone else richer? A job makes a man a servant, a servant to the company he is working for. While entrepreneurship makes him a master, a master of his own business.

    I don't discourage getting a college degree. By all means, get a degree, it will be an asset for you. But at the same time, we should never think that without a degree a man cannot survive. That's simply not true.

    Basic Islamic education is a must for all. Every Muslim must have at least the basic Islamic knowledge to enable him spend his day and night in accordance with Allah's commands and in accordance with the sunnah of Rasulullah .
    Being a complete 'Alim is not a must for everyone. It is fardh kifayah. A community must have at least one 'Alim, otherwise everyone will be sinful. If there is no 'Alim in your community, then it is fardh on the whole community to produce at least one 'Alim, either by sponsoring someone among them to study for it, or by inviting someone from any other place.
    Last edited by AabiruSabeel; 02-26-2018 at 04:21 PM. Reason: update

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