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Salam
Please can someone answer a question about wali. If a girls father refuses to consider any potential match because he wants her to marry his relative from back home how will she ever get married. I understand that only the father can be wali.
The father is saying if she doesn't get married to his choice he refuses to be involved in it.
Surah 35:18format_quote Originally Posted by OmAbdullah
And no bearer of burdens will bear the burden of another. And if a heavily laden soul calls [another] to [carry some of] its load, nothing of it will be carried, even if he should be a close relative....
Surah 6:164
... And every soul earns not [blame] except against itself, and no bearer of burdens will bear the burden of another...
Surah 17:15
Whoever is guided is only guided for [the benefit of] his soul. And whoever errs only errs against it. And no bearer of burdens will bear the burden of another...
Surah 39:7
If you disbelieve - indeed, Allah is Free from need of you. And He does not approve for His servants disbelief. And if you are grateful, He approves it for you; and no bearer of burdens will bear the burden of another...
format_quote Originally Posted by azc
These verses are not applicable here.
format_quote Originally Posted by azc
وَلَا تَنۡكِحُوا الۡمُشۡرِكٰتِ حَتّٰى يُؤۡمِنَّؕ وَلَاَمَةٌ مُّؤۡمِنَةٌ خَيۡرٌ مِّنۡ مُّشۡرِكَةٍ وَّلَوۡ اَعۡجَبَتۡكُمۡۚ وَلَا تُنۡكِحُوا الۡمُشۡرِكِيۡنَ حَتّٰى يُؤۡمِنُوۡا ؕ وَلَعَبۡدٌ مُّؤۡمِنٌ خَيۡرٌ مِّنۡ مُّشۡرِكٍ وَّلَوۡ اَعۡجَبَكُمۡؕ اُولٰٓـئِكَ يَدۡعُوۡنَ اِلَى النَّارِ ۖۚ وَاللّٰهُ يَدۡعُوۡٓا اِلَى الۡجَـنَّةِ وَالۡمَغۡفِرَةِ بِاِذۡنِهٖۚ وَيُبَيِّنُ اٰيٰتِهٖ لِلنَّاسِ لَعَلَّهُمۡ يَتَذَكَّرُوۡنَ (2:221) Marry not the women who associate others with Allah in His Divinity until they believe; for a believing slave-girl is better than a (free, respectable) woman who associates others with Allah in His Divinity, even though she might please you. Likewise, do not give your women in marriage to men who associate others with Allah in His Divinity until they believe; for a believing slave is better than a (free, respectable) man who associates others with Allah in His Divinity, even though he might please you. Such people call you towards the Fire,237 and Allah calls you, by His leave, towards Paradise and forgiveness; and He makes His injunctions clear to people so that they may take heed.
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Please consider the verse given here (verse 221 of the surah Al-Baqarah). I have posted its Arabic text for the understanding of all readers. Here in the first part Allah gives order directly to the Muslim men to abstain from marriage with the idolater women. In the next part of the verse the Command comes about the believing women that they must abstain from marriage with the idolater (mushrik) men. BUT Allah Ta'alaa didn't give this Command directly to women. Why??????
Those who understand Arabic grammar can see that instead of giving the Command directly to women, Allah The All-Wise, used here passive voice "[wa laa tunkihul-mushrikeena hatta yu'minoo, and the idolaters men must not be given in marriage the (believing women) until they (the idolater men) believe]."
The answer to the above question i.e. "why didn't Allah give this Command directly to women?" the answer comes in the Hadeeth of Rasoolullah salla Allaho alayihi wa sallam which says that women cannot marry without a wali (and the wali is always a male Muslim). The authority of the male Muslims is confirmed by the verse 34 of the surah Al-Nisaa. The translation of that verse is here with some points of explanation:
(4:34) Men are the protec-tors and maintainers of women56 because Allah has made one of them excel over the other,57 and because they spend out of their possessions (to support them). Thus righteous women are obedient and guard the rights of men in their absence under Allah's protection.58 As for women of whom you fear rebellion, admonish them, and remain apart from them in beds, and beat them.59 Then if they obey you, do not seek ways to harm them. Allah is Exalted, Great.
Explanatory note 56 & 57:
56. A qawwam or qayyim is a person responsible for administering and supervising the affairs of either an individual or an organization, for protecting and safeguarding them and taking care of their needs.
57. The verb used here - a derivative of the root fdl - is not used to mean that some people have been invested with superior honour and dignity. Rather it means that God has endowed one of the sexes (i.e. the male sex) with certain qualities which He has not endowed the other sex with, at least not to an equal extent. Thus it is the male who is qualified to function as head of the family. The female has been so constituted that she should live under his care and protection.
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I hope the things are clear now. Two points must be noted:
1. We must consider many texts of the Holy Quraan and Hadeeth (if needed) to answer a question. For e.g. here to answer the question about wali two verses i.e. verse 34 of surah Al-Nisaa and verse 221 of the surah Al-Baqarah are needed. Even there may be some other verses and ahadeeth regarding this matter.
2. The verses of the Holy Quraan are very vast and deep in meanings. For e.g. you can consider the vastness of the verse 34 of surah Al-Nisaa. And think about the verse 221 of surah Al-Baqarah: Its direct meaning is the Command to prohibit marriage with idolater men and women. But in its depth lies the meaning of the necessity of wali for the marriage of Muslim women.
Last edited by OmAbdullah; 04-09-2018 at 04:45 AM.
@OmAbdullah :
1) Allah Most High says: “When you divorce women, and they fulfil the term of their waiting period (idda), do not prevent them from marrying their (former) husbands, if they mutually agree on equitable terms. ” (Surah al-Baqarah, V: 232)
In this verse, Allah Most High attributes the conducting of marriage to women which is an indication that they are able to marry themselves without the permission and approval of their Wali. Moreover, the guardians are instructed not to interfere by preventing them from marrying their former husbands.
2) Allah Most High says: “If any of you dies and leaves widows behind, they shall wait concerning themselves four months and ten days: When they have fulfilled their term (of idda), there is no blame on you if they dispose of themselves (marry themselves off) in a just and reasonable manner.” (Surah al-Baqarah, V: 234)
In this verse also, there is clear indication that women have full rights of marrying themselves and do not require the approval of their guardian or Wali.
3) Sayyiduna Abdullah ibn Abbas (Allah be pleased with him) reports that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) said: “A non-married woman (virgin or non-virgin) has more right in managing her own affairs (i.e. marriage etc) than her guardian, and a virgin’s consent must be sought concerning herself, and her silence implies her consent.” (Sahih Muslim, no: 4121)
In this Hadith, the term Ayyim means a woman who has no husband (man la zawja lah) and includes both virgin and non-virgin women. The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) is clearly stating that she is more rightful than her guardian in managing her own affairs in terms of marriage and other similar things.
4) Sayyiduna Ali ibn Abi Talib (Allah be pleased with him) would strongly advise against marrying without the guardian’s approval, but if someone was to go ahead and marry, he would consider their marriage to be valid. (Kanz al-Ummal, no: 45775)
https://hanafilegalrulings.blogspot....0%2C2711674687
The verses you've quoted have nothing to do with 'wali' but I didnot say this, whereas these verses I quoted aren't applicable in your eyes...format_quote Originally Posted by OmAbdullah
Strange...!
You are playing with Quran. So Applicability of ayat depends on your right/wrong understanding...?
As of now you are trying to prove that Islam doesn't give equal rights to women. Women are stupid they are unable to take any decision. They have no reasoning power etc
The ayat I quoted clarified that everyone is responsible for his/her own doings and sayings. No person will bear the burden of others,
Think, even your own father will not bear your burden on judgement day.
So the girl has also independent identity. She is solely responsible for her deeds. She can take any decision. If she is wrong, herself is accountable on judgement day. Her father isn't be responsible for her wrong doings or sinning.
Hope you know When she reaches her puberty, she is accountable for her deeds.
Father, mother, sister, brother, relatives, neighbours, common Muslims all have different responsibilities and rights and they'll be called to book regarding their responsibilities.
Mu'atta imam malik kitab al nikah
Hadith No: 1
Narrated/Authority of
Yahya related to me from Malik from Muhammad ibn Yahya ibn Habban from al-Araj from Abu Hurayra that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "Do not ask for a woman in marriage when another muslim has already done so."
Hadith No: 2
Narrated/Authority of Nafi
Yahya related to me from Malik from Nafi from Abdullah ibn Umar that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "Do not ask for a woman in marriage when another muslim has already done so." Malik said, "The explanation of the statement of the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, according to what we think - and Allah knows best - is that 'Do not ask for a woman in marriage when another muslim has already done so' means that when a man has asked for a woman in marriage, and she has inclined to him and they have agreed on a bride-price, which she has suggested and with which they are mutually satisfied, it is forbidden for another man to ask for that woman in marriage. It does not mean that when a man has asked for a woman in marriage, and his suit does not agree with her and she does not incline to him that no one else can ask for her in marriage. That is a door to misery for people."
Hadith No: 3
Narrated/Authority of
Yahya related to me from Malik from Abd ar-Rahman ibn al-Qasim that his father said about the word of Allah, the Blessed, the Exalted, "There is no fault in you about the proposal you offer to women, or hide in yourselves. Allah knows that you will be mindful of them; but do not make troth with them secretly without honourable words," (Sura 2 ayat 235) that it referred to a man saying to a woman while she was still in her idda after the death of her husband, "You are dear to me, and I desire you, and Allah brings provision and blessing to you," and words such as these.
Hadith No: 4
Narrated/Authority of
Malik related to me from Abdullah ibn al-Fadl from Nafi ibn Jubayr ibn Mutim from Abdullah ibn Abbas that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "A woman who has been previously married is more entitled to her person than her guardian, and a virgin must be asked for her consent for herself, and her consent is her silence."
format_quote Originally Posted by azc
1. You are making the case of a married then divorced women and a widow equal to that of an unmarried girl. That is not fair. Rather it is very wrong.
2. You are completely rejecting the hadeeth that marriage without wali is not valid. You have no right to do that.
3. Allah ordered the parents of a married then divorced woman not to prevent the remarriage of the divorced woman with her ex-husband when the two agree to remarry. That is a special case after first or second divorce when the woman completed her iddah and the husband failed to do rajoo' within the three months of iddah. Then after that he realized to remake the same family. Allah doesn't want to break a family and so Allah hates divorce. In remarriage the family will be remade and the children will not be deprived of one of the parents. This is possible after one or two divorces. For the same purpose Allah has ordained three divorces and ordered to give only one divorce at a time with three months of iddah. Moreover this is again the case of a married woman and we all know that the case of a widow or divorced woman is different from that of an unmarried girl. You cannot make them similar.
4. You have no right to omit the Hadeeth about the obligation of wali in case of a Muslimah's marriage. Islam has taken complete care of the circumstances. If a father or a brother is unjust, then for the cases of dispute, she shall be helped by a Muslim ruler because a Hadeeth says that in case of dispute, ruler is the guardian of the one who has no guardian. This hadeeth clearly indicates that an unjust father loses the status of guardian and cannot be wali. Allah's laws are perfect and a true Muslim must say: "sami'naa wa ata'naa" ("we heard and we obeyed").
Where it is mentioned in ahadith which invalidate marriage without wali excempt the marriage of widow or divorced lady..?format_quote Originally Posted by OmAbdullah
If a widow is free to take her own decision why an unmarried can't take. Does she not have ability..?
Or
Is she stupid..?
No, she can't take her decision because of haya. This is why wali is needed here.
Do you not consider this aspect of this issue that despite the consent of wali the final concent of girl is essential for nikah. If the girl refuse to accept this nikah, it is invalid.
Who denies that wali is not needed in nikah..?
Only the question is if a boy and a girl married without his consent and they have children, will the marriage be considered as ''fornication'' and children as ''bastar...'' till they are alive...?
Indeed, the consent of wali is essentially required, even he can do nikah without asking for consent of girl on behalf of her if she is still immature or a slave or insane...?
format_quote Originally Posted by azc
It seems like you are in a confused state pf mind as now you are contradicting your own words. Sometimes you go to one extreme and then to another extreme but Islam is not the religion of extremes. You sometimes, deny the obligation of the presence of wali as you did in your posts in this thread. On other times you give the father /wali such a status that he can do nikah without the consent of his daughter. So at this extreme you deprive the girl of her right of consent.
Islam on the one hand has given the girls the right of consent and on the other hand it has obligated the presence of wali for her marriage. That means the girl has the right to choose for her a husband but her wali (father etc.) has the duty to give her strength and support in making this family a strong family.
At the time of Muhammad salla Allaho alayhi wa sallam girls used to be very shy and would not give their consent. So the sahaabah rAa asked how to get the consent of girls. The prophetsalla Allaho alayhi wa sallamanswered that "her silence is her consent".
Your last words in this post are:
Indeed, the consent of wali is essentially required, even he can do nikah without asking for consent of girl on behalf of her if she is still immature or a slave or insane...?
You must know that marriage contract is like other contracts. Any contract cannot happen with insane person. Are you going to make the nikah (marriage contract ) of an insane girl with a sane man. That will be terrible dishonesty with the unfortunate man!
According to the Holy Quraan, immature girl cannot be married. The Hadeeth of "consent" proves that the girl and boy must both be mature for marriage. I have explained these points in my previous posts in this thread and others.
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format_quote Originally Posted by azc
I don't understand what is the need of these ahaadeeth 1, 2, and 3 concerning wali. Well if you are only providing knowledge to the readers about some other situations related to marriage then may Allah give you reward. But here these are not related to the topic of wali which is a topic of discussion/dispute.
Negation of nikah and negation of perfection of nikah are 2 different things.
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https://hanafilegalrulings.blogspot....0%2C1504985016
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https://hanafilegalrulings.blogspot....0%2C1504985016
Last edited by azc; 04-14-2018 at 01:58 AM.
I think both of you are talking about two different issues and thats why you are not going anywhere with this.
I think OmAbdullah is talking about the most basic and general state a girl is likely to be in when getting married (She most likely has a fair wali. She is young, naive and have no experience in background checking). In such a case, there is no reason for her NOT to take her wali's consent on the marriage and that it would be going against the sharia if she didn't. The hadiths mentioned on this thread even proves this.
Whereas you are talking about uncommon situations like the marriage of a widow or divorced woman. These cases do seem to not need a wali's approval for marriage and it shows from the verses and ahadith you mentioned. So i think its safe to say that both of you are correct but both of you are talking about different situations.
I think azc is trying to show that these rulings arent 100% black and white like most people think. There are scenarios which dont require the approval of the wali at all.
Question:format_quote Originally Posted by ChosenTCO
I have done a secret nikah with a girl (without the knowledge of our parents) who is of the same social standing as me. I proposed her by saying “I am making my Nikah with you, do you accept?” in Urdu language three times and she said “I accept” three times. This happened in front of two adult and sane Muslim brothers. They knew that they are there to be witness of our Nikah. We decided to fix the Mahr amount and pay it in future times, when we do Nikah with the knowledge of our parents. The witnesses clearly understood that we accepted each other as husband and wife and they agreed that they witnessed the ceremony. We strongly believe that our nikah is valid. However, please confirm to us in the light of Hanafi School of Thoughts.
Answer
(Fatwa: 1628/1628/M=1432)
In the question mentioned above, if you and the girl were present in the same meeting and the ijab-o-qubool of nikah (proper exchange of nikah words) was done in the presence of two witnesses then the nikah was valid. However, you did not do good by performing nikah without informing your parents.
Allah (Subhana Wa Ta’ala)knows Best
Darul Ifta,
Darul Uloom Deoband
Note: I say that this secret marriage without wali is disliked though but nikah is valid. It is not fornication and children of nikah aren't bastar*.
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https://islamqa.org/hanafi/darulifta...0%2C2534404859
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Bottomline is that secret marriage without wali is disliked though but valid if done. Spouses' relationship is not fornication...
this is not permissible for the following reasons:format_quote Originally Posted by azc
Firstly: the approval of her guardian is one of the conditions of marriage being valid. If you marry her without the knowledge of her guardian, this will make the marriage invalid.
Secondly: marriage must be witnessed or announced openly, but you want it to be a secret marriage that no one knows about. A secret marriage that is not witnessed or announced openly is also an invalid marriage.
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
As for getting married in secret, in which the parties agree to conceal it and not bring anyone to be witness to it, this is invalid according to most scholars, and it comes under the heading of illegal sexual intercourse. Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):
“All others are lawful, provided you seek (them in marriage) with Mahr (bridal money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage) from your property, desiring chastity, not committing illegal sexual intercourse”
[an-Nisa’ 4:24].
https://islamqa.info/en/222086
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Bottom line, words of the Prophet(S) trumps any scholar or madhab. Even the imams of these madhabs said don't follow me if what I say contradicts the Quran and Sunnah.
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There is no marriage without a guardian.”
(Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1101; Abu Dawood, 2085; Ibn Maajah, 1881. Classed as saheeh by Shaykh al-Albaani (may Allaah have mercy on him) in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi, 1/318)
The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: Any woman who gets married without the permission of her guardian, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid. But if the marriage is consummated then the mahr is hers because she has allowed him to be intimate with her. If they dispute, then the ruler is the guardian of the one who has no guardian.”
(Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1102; Abu Dawood, 2083; Ibn Maajah, 1879. Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Irwa’ al-Ghaleel, 1840)
Last edited by Zzz_; 04-19-2018 at 04:09 PM.
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The hadith 'la nikah ila biwali' is reported in Jami' Tirmidhi, Kitab an-Nikah, as follows:
"Abu Musa رضي الله عنه reported that Allah's Messenger ﷺ said, 'Marriage is not performed if (consent of the) guardian is not there."
This hadith has also been reported in Ahmad, Abu Dawood, Ibn Majah and Darmi.
Sh Shah Abdul Haq Muhaddith Dehalwi in Ashi'-'at al-Lama'aat, Sharh Mishkat vol.4 pg 286 writes:
"There has been kalam (discussion) whether this hadith is sahih or not. Many a'imma hadith do not accept it to be sahih."
In Sharh Ma'ani al-Athar vol.3 pg 17-18, Imam Tahawi writes:
"The people of the first opinion (la nikah ila biwali) consider as evidence that which has been narrated from Abu Ishaq through Israel. He narrates from Abu Barda who narrates from his father that the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said, 'no nikah without (consent of) the wali.'
So the evidence against them is that according to their rules it is not correct to use this hadith as proof because those people who have stronger memory than Israel, like Sufyan and Shu'bah, have narrated it 'munqati'an' (broken) from Abu Ishaq.
. . . .If they say Abu 'Awanah narrated this hadith marfu'an like Israel, Abu 'Awanah narrates from Ishaq who narrates from Abu Burdah who narrates from Abu Musa that, the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ s.a.w said, 'no nikah without (consent of) wali.'
Then we will say that this hadith has been narrated through Abu 'Awana like you have said but we have checked the origin of the hadith and it is narrated from Abu 'Awana from Israel and he narrates it from Abu Ishaq and thus the narration of Abu 'Awana also returns to Israel.
Mu'alla bin Mansoor Razi says that Abu 'Awana narrated to me from Abu Ishaq through Israel from his sanad similar to this.
Hence this negates that Abu 'Awana had anything from Abu Ishaq directly."
Dr. Maulana Fadhal Ahmed, in his commentary on the English translation of Jami' Tirmidhi vol.1 pg 403 has noted:
"As for the hadith of Abu Musa رضي الله عنه it is not a worthy piece of evidence because there is a contradiction in its reporting and connection. Imam Tirmidhi (rh) has himself confirmed this. Hence, the correct position is that this hadith is mursal, as Imam Tahawi also confirms, while Ibn Hajr Asqalani (rh) said that it is not correct to deduce from it."
A slight variant of this hadith is reported in Ibn Majah as follows:
حدثنا أبو كريب حدثنا عبد الله بن المبارك عن حجاج عن الزهري عن عروة عن عائشة عن النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم و عن عكرمة عن ابن عباس قالا
"The prophet ﷺ said, 'There is no nikah without (the permission of) the wali,' and in the narration of 'Ayesha it is added, 'the sultan is the wali of the person who has no wali.'"
Abul Hasan Muhammad bin Abdul Hadi as-Sanadee, in Sunan Ibn Majah bi Sharh as-Sanadee wa Misbah az-Zujajah fi Zawa'id Ibn Majah vol.2 pg 428 [Publication: Darul Ma'rifah, Beirut; 1996], comments on this hadith:
"According to al-Zawa'id, its isnad contains in it al-Hajjaj who is Ibn Artaah. He is mudallis. He has transmitted it through 'an'ana and he has not heard from 'Ikrama. He transmits from 'Ikrama on the authority of Dawood bin al-Husain. Imam Ahmad held this opinion. Hajjaj did not hear from Zuhri. 'Abbad bin Zuhri said this. Sulaiman bin Musa is in agreement with him in it and he is reliable. Zuhri reported 'Ayesha on the authority of 'Urwa as saying the word: 'Any woman who marries without the consent of her guardian (her marriage) is invalid,' as the scholars of sunan transmitted it. I said: 'The scholars and devotees of hadith have criticized this isnad also.'"
Another strange point is observed by Maulana Muhammad Qasim Amin, in his brief commentary of the Urdu translation of Sunan Ibn Majah, where he writes that Shafi'i generally do not accept Hajaj bin Artaah and Ibn Luhai'ah but in this case they are using their narration as evidence. He further adds in, Sunan Ibn Majah vol.2 pg 31:
"Some hadith experts have stated that three ahadith are not proven to be from the Prophet Muhammad s.a.w ﷺand one of them is the hadith 'la nikah ila biwali' and this is why it has not been recorded in the Sahihain; there is extreme ikhtilaf in the hadith."
Allama Badruddin al-'Ainee, in 'Umdatul Qari, vol.20 pg 165 [Publisher: Darul Kutub al-'ilmiyyah; 2001] comments on a similar hadith narrated from Abu Huraira:
"As for the hadith of Abu Hurairah, al-Mugheerah ibn Musa is in the chain of narrators about whom Bukhari said, 'munkar al-hadith' and Ibn Hiban said, 'he narrates from people of trust that which does not resemble confirmed hadith,' so he is not taken as hujjah anymore."
Of hadith of Hz A'isha ra:
Mufti Ahmed Yar Khan Na'eemi, in Mir'atul Manajih vol. 5 pg 48 writes:
"This hadith is da'eef and troubled just like the one preceding it. . . .Ibn Jareej says, 'I asked Ibn Shuhab about this hadith and he denied it (Mirqat).'"
Maulana Manzoor Ahmed, in Fadhl al-Ma'bud vol. 3 pg 285, writes:
"Zuhri denied this hadith"
Maulana Mohammad 'Aqil, in Ad-Durrul Mandhud vol.4 pg 35, says:
"One of the replies given in regards to this hadith is that its da'eef and it has Sulaiman bin Musa in the chain of narrators and he is weak. Bukhari said it was weak and Nasai said something (wrong) is in this hadith."
However, we will take all these ahadith to be of a sound chain. Yet, as explained previously, their apparent meaning cannot be taken. Even in this hadith, note that it mentions, if the man cohabits with the woman then she will get the dower. Dowry is something that is given to the wife. If the nikah would have been invalid, like how the opposition of the Ahnaf state, then this is a case of zina (fornication). And zina cannot be legalized by paying dowry to the woman. Thus it is obvious that "her marriage is batil (void)" cannot be taken literally to mean that the nikah never took place.
It is also important to note that the hadith which the opposition quotes from 'Ayesha is contrary to her action. Ghulam Rasool Sa'eedi, in Sharh Muslim vol. 3 pg 828, quotes a hadith from Musannaf Abi Sheeba which is as follows:
"Qasim bin Muhammad says that 'Ayesha did the nikah of the daughter of 'Abdur Rahman bin Abi Bakr with Mundhir bin al-Zubair. At that time 'Abdur Rahman was not present. When he came, he became angry and said, 'O slaves of Allah! Is it done to a person like me that his daughter is married without his consultation? 'Ayesha got angry and asked, 'do you dislike Mundhir?'"
A variant of this hadith is also recorded in Sharh Ma'ani al-Athar by different chains, where Mundhir stated that 'Abdur Rahman has the authority and 'Abdur Rahman said that he will not cancel anything which has been decided by 'Ayesha .
In light of this one can come up with two conclusions. The first being, that 'Ayesha did not consider the hadith 'Her marriage is void. Her marriage is void. Her marriage is void,' to be sahih and thus she acted opposite to it as seen in the hadith above. In this case, the former hadith cannot be used as evidence. The second being, that she does hold the former hadith to be true but the sense she implies is not what the opposition understand.
Allama Badruddin al-'Ainee, in 'Umdatul Qari vol.20 pg 163, observes:
"But its meaning refers to kamal (perfection) like in the hadith of the prophetﷺ about prayer when he says "no prayer (is valid) unless in a masjid."
Mufti Sa'eed Ahmed Palanpuri, in Tuhfatul Alma'ee vol.3 pg 518 adds:
"Imam A'zam says that this hadith is to threaten against something and in such ahadith the deficient is declared as banned. This is seen, for example, in the hadith in Kitab at-Tahara where it is stated that a man who sleeps with a menstruating woman or enters his wife from behind or goes to soothsayer to ask about things of ghaib has rejected the deen which has been revealed onto Muhammad ﷺ. This hadith is to threaten and in it deficient iman has been talked about as being banned. Hence no one will do takfir of such a person. Over here also, deficiency in nikah has been expressed as banned. And the evidence (daleel) is that the prophet ﷺ has said that such a woman married without a wali, with whom the husband has cohabited, will get the dowry.
. . . .And the meaning of the hadith is that if a woman does her nikah without consent of wali, then if the wali objects and the judge cancels the nikah, then if is wajib on the husband because the nikah was correct and the husband benefitted physically from his wife after a proper nikah. Thus dowry becomes wajib."
The fourth opinion:
The woman has the right to spend her own money in all circumstances, whether in a transaction or otherwise, whether this involves all of her wealth or part of it. This is the opinion of the majority, and is the opinion of the Hanafis, Shaafa’is and Hanbalis, and of Ibn al-Mundhir. (al-Mughni, 4/513;al-Ansaaf, 5/342;Ma’aani al-Athaar, 4/354;al-Baari, 5/318;al-Awtaar, 6/22).
This is the soundest opinion, and is most in accordance with the Qur’aan, the Sunnah and common sense.
In the Qur’aan, Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And give to the women (whom you marry) their Mahr (obligatory bridal money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage) with a good heart, but if they, of their own good pleasure, remit any part of it to you, take it, and enjoy it without fear of any harm (as Allaah has made it lawful).”[al-Nisa’ 4:4]
Allaah allows the husband to take what his wife gives him willingly.
Allaah also says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And if you divorce them before you have touched (had a sexual relation with) them, and you have appointed unto them the mahr (bridal money given by the husband to the wife at the time of marriage), then pay half of that (mahr), unless the women agree to forego it…”[al-Baqarah 2:237]
Here Allaah allows women to give up as much of the mahr as they wish if their husbands divorce them, without them having to ask permission from anybody. This indicates that women have the right to decide what to do with their own money, and that a woman has rights to her wealth just as a man has rights to his wealth. (Sharhal-Ma’aani al-Athaar, 4/352).
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And try orphans (as regards their intelligence) until they reach the age of marriage; if then you find sound judgement in them, release their property to them…” [al-Nisa’ 4:6]
This clearly means that when the female orphan becomes wise and discerning, she is allowed to handle her own wealth.
Similarly, when the women gave their jewellery in charity after the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) had addressed them during his Eid sermon, this was an indication that they are allowed to dispose of their wealth without asking permission from anybody.
(See Ittihaaf al-Khilaan bi Huqooq al-Zawjayn fi’l-Islamby Dr. Fayhaan ibn ‘Ateeq al-Mutayri, pp. 92-96).
It says in Nayl al-Awtaar: “the majority of scholars agreed that women are allowed [to handle their own wealth] with no restrictions and without having to ask their husbands’ permission, so long as they are not foolish, but if they are foolish, it is not permitted.” It says inal-Fath: “The majority have a lot of evidence in the Qur’aan and Sunnah.”
The majority of scholars argued against those who used as evidence the hadeeth “It is not permissible for a woman to give anything except with the permission of her husband.” (Reported by Abu Dawood, 3079;Saheeh al-Jaami’, 7265;
some of its narrators have already been mentioned). The majority of scholars said that this has to do with the good manners and proper etiquette required of the wife because of the rights her husband has over her, and because of his status, experience in life and wisdom. Al-Sindi said in his commentary on al-Nisaa’i with regard to the hadeeth quoted:
“According to the majority of scholars, this has to do with good manners and making the husband feel good.” It was reported from al-Shaafa’i that the hadeeth was not proven, so how can we use it as evidence when the Qur’aan, Sunnah, other reports and common sense indicate the opposite?
https://islamqa.info/en/4037?_e_pi_=...0%2C5368440821
Note: I say, The same rule is applied here that an adult girl isn't stupid in taking her own decision concerning her nikah.
67 Wedlock, Marriage, 42 Chapter:
The father or the guardian cannot give a virgin or matron in marriage without her consent)41(باب لاَ يُنْكِحُ الأَبُ وَغَيْرُهُ الْبِكْرَ وَالثَّيِّبَ إِلاَّ بِرِضَاهَا
Narrated Abu Huraira ra:
The Prophet s.a.w said, "A matron should not be given in marriage except after consulting her; and a virgin should not be given in marriage except after her permission." The people asked, "O Allah's Messenger s.a.w ! How can we know her permission?" He said, "Her silence (indicates her permission.)
حَدَّثَنَا مُعَاذُ بْنُ فَضَالَةَ، حَدَّثَنَا هِشَامٌ، عَنْ يَحْيَى، عَنْ أَبِي سَلَمَةَ، أَنَّ أَبَا هُرَيْرَةَ، حَدَّثَهُمْ أَنَّ النَّبِيَّ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ " لاَ تُنْكَحُ الأَيِّمُ حَتَّى تُسْتَأْمَرَ وَلاَ تُنْكَحُ الْبِكْرُ حَتَّى تُسْتَأْذَنَ ". قَالُوا يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ وَكَيْفَ إِذْنُهَا قَالَ " أَنْ تَسْكُتَ ".
Reference: Sahih al-Bukhari 5136
In-book reference: Book 67, Hadith 72
USC-MSA web )English( reference: Vol. 7, Book 62, Hadith 67
)deprecated numbering scheme(
Your father appears to think that his own choice is best - and he has the right as primary guardian amongst next of kin to attempt to convince you of his choice if he genuinely thinks it is best for you - but he cannot force you to marry someone against your will and he doesn't appear to be doing so.
If you don't accept his choice, he still has a duty as ward, watcher, and guard to ensure your safety, good health, and faith....
...it then logically follows that your next course of action should be to convince him of a better lawful choice in order to attain the most stable outcome and end in Allah's sight. That way you are able to be on good terms with the person who will automatically need to re-assume responsibility for you and your affairs if you ever lose your husband (fact of life i'm afraid) or your husband or his family kill you in a gruesome manner, this way you can always share problems with dad and expect assistance - since it's unlikely that you can find anyone more GENUINELY concerned for your wellbeing in times of good or bad - or death. It is also unlikely that your husband will have that level of duty sense hard wired into his psyche - and your relationship with him will depend more on trust and nuturing unlike dad....
Al Mughirah Ibn Shaibah said “I got engaged to a woman at the time of the Prophet (May Allah bless him and grant him peace). He asked me “Have you seen her?” I said “No”. He said “go and have a look at her, because it is more fitting that love and compatibility is established between you.” (Nasai)
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Khansa Bint Khidam said “My father married me to his nephew, and I did not like this match, so I complained to the Messenger of Allah (May Allah bless him and grant him peace). He said to me “accept what your father has arranged.” I said “I do not wish to accept what my father has arranged.”
He said “then this marriage is invalid, go and marry whomever you wish.” I said “I have accepted what my father has arranged, but I wanted women to know that fathers have no right in their daughter’s matters (i.e. they have no right to force a marriage on them).
(Fathul Bari Sharah Al Bukhari 9/194, Ibn Majah Kitabun Nikah 1/602)
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The statement: ......"Fathers have no right in their daughters matters" is obviously in the context of forced marriage, meddling too much in their daughters issues and interfering after every easy complaint from the chosen husband and allowing her very limited to no ability to settle into a mutually respectful harmonious life with the husband. Any woman would feel like a slave girl if it was a case of hubby not sorting sh#t correctly and instead running and telling tales to fav daddy in law about every single personal issue - it would most likely lead to a breakdown of trust in a relationship, also the self-respect and ability make responsible decisions from a position of due authority without constraint or sabotage is barely present in slave women and hence respect for others with such authority is diminished with such a negative mindset. It's a little way towards rationalising the cause for the Quranic prescription of half punishment for slave women who commit an act of lewd rebellion in contrast to free women....
... much pondering on long term psychological effects that our seemingly minor actions (in the sight of some) have on those under our responsibility.
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