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    My marriage from day one has had more downs than ups, i feel like im in a nightmare, (OP)


    Assalam Walaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakathu

    I am at a very difficult stage in my marriage and it is constantly eating me up inside, I have been married for for about 16 months and from day one my marriage seems to have been going more downhill than up-hill. Please be gentle in your criticisms (if any) as I know for sure we have 'with the fullest regret' sinned.

    I came to a point in my life where I was aged about 33, I had been searching for a wife for around 3 years and still no joy. I came to a point where I was just depressed with my single life and the lack of progress. I do my hajj with my mum and sister and I come back and I meet someone off a matrimonial site (March 2014). We talk, we're getting along and I'm serious about marriage, so is she 'she claims' so I quickly try and get our families to meet, because I didn’t want a pre marriage relationship.

    So i take my family down from Leicester and we go down to London and meet her face to face (May 2014). I liked her and my family liked her. So we left that day thinking yeah, we're happy. We start to enquire about the family from locals and our relatives. No one can vouch for the family, we search high and low. Eventually a close relative, my uncle basically gave some negative feedback on this girl and my uncles son mention that the family isn’t right. few weeks have gone by now since the first family meet and my family are asking her family but her family aren’t giving any answers except... its too far for them. We took the hint, so by now I’m asking the girl 'what’s happening, do you want to proceed or not?", girl responds yes she does want to proceed, her parents are still deciding.

    In various nagging conversations I kept asking her, what’s wrong, why aren’t they moving things forward, is something wrong, I’m getting paranoid that somethings not right, maybe my uncle and his son are right so I confront her on the phone and ask her straight out, she denies that anything is wrong and says my uncles family are jealous that’s why they do not want this wedding to go ahead because they approached this family for the same girl and they got turned down on two occasions for each brother.

    So we continue to liaise over the phone to a point where we now have feelings for each other. On the telephone we form this long distance relationship with no physical contact whatsoever for one year. In the interim between the first family visit and February 2015 my family called numerous times only to be to be told they haven't decided yet, blimey its pushing on to nearly one year, it’s our fault entirely we should have taken a hint from her parents, but the girl had a stronghold on me and convinced me she was the one for me.

    By this time, our bond is strong, there is a significant amount of trust and there is a lot of affection, bottom line I was blinded by love (I’ve so let myself down as I’ve seen fellow childhood friends go through blind love numerous times and its effects, yet here I am falling for the same trap!). My feelings for this girl are so strong we eventually meet in Feb 2015 and would meet on a irregular random basis.

    Bear in mind me, my family and the girl are praying and praying and praying for this wedding to go ahead so we can end this struggle

    Anyway I’m thinking 'I like the girl, I trust her so I’ll wait for her, so waiting waiting, one delay after another, her parents go abroad on 3 occasions in 2015 (India, Saudi, Bangladesh) and my family call them in between (when they come back to England) and we just never got a straight answer, the marriage proposal is just continuously delayed and delayed, yet me and this prospective bride are yearning to get married but it isn’t happening. Finally in May 2016, things start moving, we visit and in turn the family come to visit my family home in Leicester.

    So then my family say we would like the wedding ASAP, like September, but her family still isn’t having it, they just wanted to delay and delay, I’ll skip the gory nitty gritty frustrating details and the turmoil my family (maybe there’s as well) faced in organising the wedding, at one point they were like 'can it be April 2017?' we responded It's got to be December the latest, after they kept pushing the date forward one more than two occasions , a) September, then it was b) first week of October then c) end of October, d) then sometime in November eventually leaving us with a date in December 2016. So I'm thinking to myself getting married at 35, Alhamdulillah, and she's 33,

    We agreed on things like after marriage if she wants to work she can work here in Leicester and to start off with she can visit family like once a month due to distance and eventually tone it down.

    So we get married, and consummate after making dua'z, On Day one i check my wife’s phone (on the off chance) and I find 3 months worth of texts and video call recordings with her and some guy, she communicated with him up until her mendhi day as in had an affair with the guy. This is like nightmare for me, I’m in tears , heart broken to pieces, i confront her and she's begging me holding my feet asking for forgiveness, i ask is the child mine? she says yes, "get a morning after pill if you don’t believe me". I thought to myself we fought hard and waited a long time, I’ll look forward only so I forgave her thinking "she isn’t going to go back to that workplace again, so I got nothing to worry about" ... boy was I wrong...

    Month 1, my wife starts crying, she; s missing her parents, that upcoming weekend I take her to my in laws, she says she wants to stay one week, I’m like ok, she extends it to two, I’m not happy but I say ok, my family tell me I should be kind. come week, she's asking for an extra week, I rejected thinking she's taking the mick. these situations bring sourness to a relationship when you have to say 'no' to your wife.

    So she comes back to Leicester and she takes the test, Alhamdulillah within 1 month of consummation we have good news, my wife is pregnant..

    her parents set off to go abroad mid Jan for a three month trip

    meanwhile we plan a trip for Ummrah for end of Jan, me, wife, and my two other family members, knowing my wife is pregnant my wife says she is willing to go. After I place the booking, got the visas, five days before our flight my wife says its too much for her, she cant travel and quickly flees home desperately (picked up by her brother) saying she's only going for two nights even though both her parents aren’t in the country. She's ill, how can i stop her. So I let her go. She ends up in hospital for one night and while our flights are literally days away we continue with our ummrah trip, even my wife says 'go, you shouldn’t miss out'. Selfish of me I'm thinking if my wife really wanted to go she could have, loads of pregnant women fly / travel, anyway i gave the benefit of the doubt whilst i wasn’t still happy about the situation thinking this girl did not want to go with me. I start to become paranoid about my wife. So to summarise that, my wife is at her parents house away from me for 3 weeks... yet again. Paranoia kicks in... inevitably.

    Anyway we come back from Ummrah and she comes back to Leicester and lives with me until the end of March. her parents come back from abroad and guess what, we are back at her parents again (with all kindness and good intentions off course) and she stays for one or two weeks. She also takes the wedding gold from the marital home and puts it in her dads safe. (im thinking no big deal, she’ll bring it back, d like her to wear it again) She comes back to Leicester and she breaks it to me that she's going back to work in London at her old place, we argue, argue and argue and I mention her affair and so on. I consult my family, what should I do, my family respond, let her go back to her parents house and work, otherwise she'll be miserable at home. I cut a deal with her, saying you want to work in London? I expect you back every weekend, can you do that?.... she replies yes yes off course yes off course a thousand times.... me being the gullible one thinking a pregnant lady going to put herself through that when she couldn’t even go abroad with me????, she isn’t going to come back every weekend.... I’m thinking she's taking me for a ride... guess what she did in the end, she came home once a month. When asked "when are you coming?", "why aren't you coming?" all I got in return was attitude and the 'lamest school homework type' excuses. we continue to argue, eventually i gave up on that, I’d had enough.

    FYI she isn’t that bright or matured unfortunately, she is easily influenced. Half of the stuff she is doing is coming from other members in her family, and she; s determined to see it through.

    Ramadan is here.... in a ideal family husband and wife spend the whole ramadan together without miss, i only got two or three days with her at most out of thirty, another heartbreak, she did come for Eid though.

    At some point later I'm thinking .... is my child going to even be born in my home town, i was born in Leicester I’d like my child born here please..... if all is well.

    at this stage none of the medical records had transferred to Leicester yet, everything is still in London. So I have this discussion with my wife... based on the past few months doesn’t seem like your settling in here... your address and everything is still at your parents...? what’s the plan? still denying there isn’t a plan, she says she will join our surgeries after she finishes her 4 month stint at work and claims the maternity pay, so i get a definitive date from her and she says 2nd week of August and guarantees our baby will be born in Leicester (she even says her parents swear by it too), she even places her hand on our holy book and swears on her life etc etc.

    Off course out of suspicion and curiosity I go through her things, I find a thaweez in her purse, I photograph, I didn’t confront her or on it because then she’l wonder why I went through her things, fact is I didn’t trust her then, wont trust her ever,

    August comes and there’s still no sign of her registering here in Leicester, after continuous arguments it came to surface that she was indeed having the baby in London, my family didn’t have a problem with it, however it made it difficult for me as Id always hoped everything wold be at home, you know.... local to me in Leicester.

    I was just angry I feel like I’ve been lied to constantly. She's always wanting things her way, arguing with me, pushing me to the limits

    We have our baby in September, Alhamdulillah its a healthy baby girl, I coped ok in another town (but its selfish of me to think about me after all it wasn’t me giving birth), would have preferred bringing my baby daughter home to Leicester first thing but its not in my fate, after staying in hospital for 5 days (due to 2nd degree tear and blood loss) and after me being told by my wife that 'our child is not legally mine' (after which she apologised for saying) we ended up in our in laws, stayed the night, at which point my mother in law picks an argument with me, persisting our baby has her birth certificate registered to the London address so my wife can claim x y z benefits and tax relief etc and I’m arguing for my daughters birth right that it should have her home address on, but my wife and my mother in law weren’t having it. We have a full on head to head heated argument and I’m highlighting the past 10 months of lies which caused me distress), mid way through I realise I shouldn’t be arguing with elders so I took all my mother in laws #r#p in from of the rest of the family. Inna Lilla Hi wa inna ilayhi rajioon, what has the world come to. The room darkened for me very much and I couldn’t wait to leave this awkward scene and this house.

    the following morning I was able to bring her back to Leicester. The first thing we do is transfer mother and baby's medical records to Leicester and continue to attend the check ups and appointments and immunisations here in Leicester, convenient for me so I could take them to the doctors and hospitals.

    Meanwhile, my mother in law names the baby, and I’m like 'don’t I get a say', my wife says yeah you pick the name and let your mum pick a house name'. She also wants to contribute to the name. So we have three names and a nickname. Again I consult my family about the birth certificate thing, and my family tell me 'its only a paper', so I allow my wife to use her parents address.

    I name first name, I take the name my mother in law gave (out of respect) and place it as a surname, the middle name which my wife gave, out of anger i exclude it because my wife has got a lot of stuff her way and caused a lot of arguments, anyhow she will benefit from whatever claims she makes so why should she upset, she'll be getting her money???? My mother gives the home nickname and we start calling her that at home, turns out when our daughter goes back to my in laws, they all call my daughter the name my mother in law gave, are they making a statement? I don’t know.

    Anyway due to resentment and bitterness and the hate I have for my wife, our relationship is literally zero contact, we are only here for our daughter, we can’t seem to agree on things and I feel like my wife just wants to do what she wants regardless of committing to our marriage, Several times I have said would we be better off if we separated, things isn’t working out, you isn’t settling in, I don’t know what’s round the corner, her responses seem to consist of 'not bothered', 'do whatever you like' attitude. She's constantly looking for faults and I’m too busy highlighting the instances where she has hurt me through lies, betrayal, dishonesty and her argumentative approach to me.

    We have some intimacy, speechless intimacy, we hardly talk, its as if we are already divorced. We had an immunisation appointment in Leicester, I’ve booked a day off from work all ready and prepped, my wife goes back to her parents, I say stay one week and come back for our daughters immunisations as I’ve made arrangements, my wife insists on staying for two, the day after I drop them off i receive a text saying "I’ve booked her a appt for her here in London so cancel the other one and book another one 4 weeks from that date for next set of injection" Verbatim...... I feel she's undermined me

    I know the mother has more rights on the child than the father, but come on be fair and behave maturely and act in the best interest of your marriage, not yourself.

    I feel there’s no respect, no commitment to the marriage, getting her to live with me seems to be a big big challenge and I feel I don’t have a say about our child.

    My family treat her like a princess and believe it or not whenever my wife’s at home, its as if she's a temporary guest, she’s been married a year she asks me where stuff is in the kitchen. She doesn’t look after my house, doesn’t clean the room, just helps with cooking and some kitchen cleaning, she has said to me and I quote "once you are gone (as in passed away), I have no rights to the house, so will leave everyone and leave Leicester and flee back home with my child"... I'm immediately thinking "do i want to die whilst being married to her, NO!!"

    Some of the stuff she says or does to tick me off comes across as provocation, its as if she's trying to annoy me so much that I’ll submit to a divorce so she can continue with her life guilt free

    I have suggested to her for us to jointly do charity work, get more involved in selfless acts so that it may soften our hearts, lets go Islamic marriage courses, she isn’t a single bit bothered..,..

    Life is very difficult, marriage is very difficult. Life was supposed to get better, happier, instead its a constant everyday battle with my heart, my emotions and my resentment. I can't erase it, its traumatic. What’s the point erasing it, something new will pop up, something always has in the past one year. I feel like ending the whole thing, but I remember my daughter, (I’m not ready to pay child support and have limited access just yet), I pray everyday, ask my wife to pray everyday, ask her to think about our child, our marriage, but I’m not enough for her, its as if she's longing for something else or she just wants to make life difficult. She does not value our marriage.

    now criticise me if you will. After marriage I did make some payments to my wife as a husband does, but it wasn’t regular, however shelter, food etc- was never a problem, Alhamdulillah we have two houses and I’m always at home and make sure we are fully stocked up, yet its not enough for my wife. I take her to London and I pick her up, I refuse for anyone else to do that chore, yet I feel greatly unappreciated. When I asked my wife why isn’t this enough, she responded, modern age, women expect more than basic necessities, so this coincides with my mother in law, "if you aren’t going to pay my daughter £250 a week, then let her claim all the benefits, she needs to spend and be independent".

    I fear there are bad events round the corner, I continuously pray my salaah, make dua for myself, my daughter, my wife, my family, her family and muslim immah, pray isthikhara, I worry about my daughter, not so much my wife because I know she will continue to do whatever makes her happy

    I've been talking about this to a select few, and the feedback I get is "the longer I leave it, the worse it will get", or set her straight, send her back and tell her to come back when its ready.... the fact is they don’t need us, my wife does not need me, she'll happily go back to London back to her parents and her two unmarried brothers.... together they will support her.

    Next thing you know its January 2018 first week, my mother in law (without asking me) although she asked my mother arranges for my wife and child to be picked up without my approval. Im thinking I cant take this anymore, I ask my family for advice, they advised me and my wife sit with the imam who performed the nikkah ceremony on the wedding day, I suggested to my wife and she agrees to sit down. so after I week I go to pick her up and we both and baby go and visit the imam. I explain the history to the imam, she also complains to him saying she doesn’t like the water in Leicester, she has a man come into her dreams and tells her things, she feels a burning sensation over her body when I touch her etc etc… the imam, gives us advice on how to deal with problems when they occur outside the marriage, I.e we shouldn’t confront etc or accuse anyone etc. Then the imam asked us if we wanted to continue with the marriage, I said yes only if she keeps to certain conditions, i.e. don’t say bad things about me to her family, I want her 100% co-operation and commitment to the marriage and that we both abide by sharia law. She agrees, vice versa I agree too. I also state no one is taking my wife and child without my permission anymore. If they do its over. Within three weeks she accuses my mother of black magic, my wife tells my mother to go and touch the Kaaba sharif in Makkah and do some kind of kosom (who imposes such requests at the age of 34?, who does that regardless of age?) to prove she hasn’t done it, my wife accuses my mum of taking her London house keys when all along she had it in her handbag, I only found it in her handbag because her accusation against my mother drove me crazy. Her family have been told by pirs or magicians or mullahs etc that someone from my side of the family has done black magic, she confronts my mum on this as well saying we are into thaweez etc and degrades my family. My mother didn’t say anything to me about the accusations as this would cause problems….. until one week before she decides to go abroad to visit her family as her brother is terminally ill, she wanted to focus on her brother and seeing her mum. I then remember the thaweez that has been sitting in her personal belongings all this time, and im thinking if she is so against thaweez, why the hell does she have one?

    Its now March 2018, somehow we’ve peddled on whilst there have been some arguments here and there, her parents come back from ummrah, she tells her brother to tell me he’s coming to pick her and my child up, im furious as im not going to take orders like that so i confront my wife, I tell my wife I’l take you on my next day off in two days time, wife says what you going to do if I go now, I said if you go, don’t come back. Big hoo haa argument and wife gets her mum involved and is ready to leave, im crying I get my family involved as it could be the end, later we worked things out, the following day my mother in law is insistent on having my wife picked up, and sends my brother in law. I say to my wife, if you leave today then it has ended, wait 2 days as agreed or else we will need to sit down and end this. My brother in law arrives and questions me why cant his sister come home, I said I haven’t given the permission for her to leave, shes coming in two days time on my day off, he replies make sure you ask my dad for permission before you take her back, I replied, no, that is between me and my wife, he storms out saying is “is she a slave in this house”. I replied off course she isn’t. I re-iterated to her she is not a slave for me or my family and she is welcome to leave anytime she wants (told her to explain to her family as well that she is not being kept in this marriage against her will), she doesn’t even have to do anything for me (forget doing anything for my family), that stuff only comes from the heart if it exists. Although her brother came to pick her up, my wife remained.

    Now we have an issue with the wedding gold, ive asked our imam, and he said the wedding gold should be in the marital home, I kindly request to my wife to bring the wedding gold back home, she then replies she wants to sell it and accuses me that I might sell it and keep the money. I wouldn’t sell it without my wifes permission I have no right. Despite being in debt after the wedding, I would not even ask my wife to sell the wedding gold. So although I cant value or claim rights to her wealth (apparently according to her boasting and broadcasting to my family she has over 100 grams of gold and 0.75 million pounds (shes even said she can buy my house 3 times over, ive got a substantial mortgage btw)) she is still adamant in keeping the wedding gold and / or selling it, but she wont do anything with any wealth prior to the marriage? Does that say something about my wife???? Im going to try and get her to sit with the imam again as we have lots to discuss about how the contract was breached etc, she refuses to sit with him, she wants someone else, seems like if it doesn’t work her way it shouldn’t work at all. I have a wife who seems to implement double standards in her life, traditional when it suits her and her family, modern when it suits her and her family?- What do I do?

    I worry about my daughter so much... I don’t want her growing up in that family, they come across as dysfunctional to me... but my daughters rizq and fate has already been written, all I can do is try my best but I cant let go of my wifes conduct, behviour, decisions against me and her character, I hate it! I cant live with someone like that for the rest of my life.

    There is nothing I can do, its all in Allah's hands, Allah knows best, I pray Allah swt makes it easy for me and my family and for my daughter..... I so regret getting married to this girl, I don’t know what to do.

    May 2018: One week after I took her to see a raqi and her being diagnosed with evil eye. She has decided to leave my residence today after an argument we had. I tried to keep my answers to her short and brief. Tried to maintain the peace while we were both fasting in the month of ramadan. She still continued to debate and argue. I out of provoked anger as she started disrespecting my family members told her if she wants to go before eid 'to pack up and go and await a sit down with elders and imaam shortly after Eid' so in a split second she arranged her travel and took the baby. Allahu Aaalaam she has made her decision. Please remember us in your duas. Jzk.

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    xboxisdead's Avatar
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    Re: My marriage from day one has had more downs than ups, i feel like im in a nightma

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    Quote Originally Posted by *charisma* View Post
    Unsure what you're disagreeing with as you just reiterated everything I said :/
    At all. My disagreement is him going through mountain and up to have contact with her. My disagreement is going and fighting to have access or shared or custodial right to his daughter. That is a big mistake men do a lot. He should focus on saving his money and trying to use any technological means of contacting her by asking the permission of the mother. If the mother disapprove she holds full responsibility in the day of judgement. If the mother poison or cause cutting ties that is at the hand of the mother not the father. His real responsibility and Allah will ask him even above having any relationship with his children is...did he pay them financially and supported them financially first? Did he give them money until they mature into adulthood? Did he make sure they inherited from him correctly? Those he should truly focus on. As a man he does not get pregnant so he can have more children with other woman...and EVEN BETTER than his daughter ten times over. Who knows how his daughter could end up...for all he knows she could lead him to hellfire. You don't know. Men make mistake with his children act like mothers and that is a big mistake men make. Children are risq and wealth of this world...there are better than them in the afterlife...he should focus on shaping himself and don't even give her the power by manipulating him through the children. A mistake men makes. But if you are saying he should move on, take care of himself, try to form some sort of communication with his daughter and don't fret and be thankful then in that part I agree. The part I disagree is him jumping hoop to have access to his daughter or contacting her physically. It is up to the mother to make sure there are ties between child and father and as such she will be questioned in the day of judgement and punished if she cut ties. She is the ameer of the children and she have authority if he have relationship with his children and she have to give father permission to accessing the children.

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    Re: My marriage from day one has had more downs than ups, i feel like im in a nightma

    Quote Originally Posted by xboxisdead View Post
    At all. My disagreement is him going through mountain and up to have contact with her. My disagreement is going and fighting to have access or shared or custodial right to his daughter. That is a big mistake men do a lot. He should focus on saving his money and trying to use any technological means of contacting her by asking the permission of the mother.
    With all due respect, it's none of your business how willing he is to try to remain in his daughter's life. If he has the means to do it, he should do so and he should be encouraged to do so. The success of it is in Allah's hands, but we need to put the effort. Fatherhood is not simply financial sponsorship. You having grown up without a father should know that best.

    You're also proving to disagree for the sake of being disagreeable and argumentative even when there is nothing to argue against. This is not a good trait. May Allah guide you.
    | Likes eesa the kiwi liked this post
    My marriage from day one has had more downs than ups, i feel like im in a nightmare,

    D e a t h

    is the easiest
    of all things after it
    ; ;

    the hardest
    of all things before it

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    Re: My marriage from day one has had more downs than ups, i feel like im in a nightma

    Quote Originally Posted by *charisma* View Post
    With all due respect, it's none of your business how willing he is to try to remain in his daughter's life. If he has the means to do it, he should do so and he should be encouraged to do so. The success of it is in Allah's hands, but we need to put the effort. Fatherhood is not simply financial sponsorship. You having grown up without a father should know that best.

    You're also proving to disagree for the sake of being disagreeable and argumentative even when there is nothing to argue against. This is not a good trait. May Allah guide you.
    I agree it is none of my business and by all means I am not offended that you said that. Also I appreciate you where respectful and said "with all due respect" to that I am sincerely thankful. Now what you said there I also agree. You said "if he has the means to do it" which to this I do not deny or disagree. However, if he is not it is not his fault, he should not feel bad or think he is a deadbeat dad. Because he is not. He should not get depressed or feel suicidal at all. I worry about men who are in this situation because women usually use the children to hurt him in hopes he commit suicide. That is what majority of women love to see. When he does kill himself she act innocently and does not know why he killed himself. So I am just scared he does not be part of that statistic. So i worry for him and any man who are in his situation. I also agree 100% that any success is in the Allah's hands so for that reason alone I am telling him if she cut ties between him and his daughter not to fret. Allah is seeing and watching and commanding the angels to write the deeds of the evil woman who do this. Don't fret if your ex-wife cut ties between you and your daughter take this opportunity to know that Allah is raising you high, high, high level in Jannah and you will be the one who will have the last laugh (even though she is laughing at this world) and she will be the one who will taste the crackling fire of hellfire.

    Fatherhood is not simply financial sponsorship is what you said, right? But I am sorry to say, you are wrong. He is nothing more than a bank machine or human wallet. Want proof?

    Ok.

    if a divorce happens what is the first thing the world demand from him?

    ---------CHILD SUPPORT---------

    Not is he a good dad? Does he play with his children? Is he compassionate to them? Is he loving to them? Does he see them everyday to make sure there is strong bond between them? etc....

    The answer is NO. What is the main focus? Child support.

    If he is the best father on Earth but he does not pay child support what do people label him? A DEADBEAT DAD! he is a loser.

    Ok...let us reverse it.

    He barely communicate or talk to them or have almost zero contact with them...but he pays them child support and not never fail ones...do people call him A DEADBEAT DAD? NOPE!

    Does the court enforce that the father have contact with his children? Nope.

    ....I am sorry...i cannot help but show proof to your statement the he is nothing more than money bank...but in truth he is. We accept mother cutting ties and denying father visitation to his children and we are living in a society that is going to run in single mother world....in USA majority of children are raised by single mothers.......may I ask why is there no million march rally against the laws that make it happen? May I ask why women not carrying their children and bringing the sign and saying "ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! WE NEED FATHERS! WE NEED FATHERS! WE NEED FATHERS!!"?

    I want to see people throwing stones at the police and government demanding change in the law that makes it easy to separate children from father, before I start to believe that fathers are nothing more than financial sponsorship.

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    Re: My marriage from day one has had more downs than ups, i feel like im in a nightma

    Just for the record. I have to pay the maintenance, I don't have a choice. It is the law here in the UK. The government knows how much we earn (those if us in tax paying jobs) and a percentage is calculated from that.

    The contact custody application is a must. The kid has rights over me just as well I have rights over the kid. If the mother is refusing to co operate, I at least have to get the law involved. The same way the mother got the law involved over maintenance.

    For my own sake and the same of the court (should i be questioned about my concerns) I do ask the mother via text about the kid every 3 or 4 days and request the current pictures. I do get somewhat response 90% of the time although how consistent it will be I don't know.

    Hiring lawyers is very expensive. My current financial situation won't allow it so I will try my best to represent myself.

    I will be asking for a weekend every 3 weeks. Video audio call every three days via the mother's phone. A prohibited steps order, a interim contact order as these cases can take ages to finish and also to be kept in the loop of all aspects of my daughter's life. Let's see how it goes.

    I accept whatever is decreed for me. Its not going to be easy.

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    Re: My marriage from day one has had more downs than ups, i feel like im in a nightma

    Quote Originally Posted by Imraan View Post
    Just for the record. I have to pay the maintenance, I don't have a choice. It is the law here in the UK. The government knows how much we earn (those if us in tax paying jobs) and a percentage is calculated from that.

    The contact custody application is a must. The kid has rights over me just as well I have rights over the kid. If the mother is refusing to co operate, I at least have to get the law involved. The same way the mother got the law involved over maintenance.

    For my own sake and the same of the court (should i be questioned about my concerns) I do ask the mother via text about the kid every 3 or 4 days and request the current pictures. I do get somewhat response 90% of the time although how consistent it will be I don't know.

    Hiring lawyers is very expensive. My current financial situation won't allow it so I will try my best to represent myself.

    I will be asking for a weekend every 3 weeks. Video audio call every three days via the mother's phone. A prohibited steps order, a interim contact order as these cases can take ages to finish and also to be kept in the loop of all aspects of my daughter's life. Let's see how it goes.

    I accept whatever is decreed for me. Its not going to be easy.
    As long as you have contact relationship somehow you have not cut ties. Even if you never see her physically at all (that is not a problem), but you can talk to her ones in a while like she is talking to a relative or uncle that is not considered cutting ties. She then will not have anything against you in the afterlife. You pay child support, contact her ones a while...ask how she is doing, is everything ok, etc listen to her and do your duty at a distance it is great. Make sure you record all sessions electronically. You want to avoid any open door of false allegation happening to you. Ask the permission of the mother before contacting her that she agrees that the conversation is going to be recorded. If she refuses then do not talk to her until she agrees. You want to protect yourself from any lawsuit, sexual false allegation, etc. The mother could go vindictive and decide she does not want you to have any relation with the child period and my even put you in prison just to hurt you. You have to protect yourself completely. Women in UK are the property of the government. The government is her father and protector and the government owns her and she is part of the state (if only women knew). As such you need to protect yourself completely from any potential harm against the state.

    But don't forget...that your ex-wife could make it harder and harder for you to even contact her through skype, email or any form of communication. She might say oh she is sleeping right now. Or she might say ohh..she is sick. Or she might say ooh she is with her friends and you have to go through the process of fighting again through the court to enforce the law for you to see your kids and the cycle of insanity will continue. She might go droplets and droplets like tiny water drops from the sink to formulate some type of parental alienation where the mother comes out innocent but the daughter decided on her free will she wants nothing to do with you. The mother might slip that you are bad. The mother might slip that you may have touched her somehow....etc. Whatever the case base this is not a battle that will be over and you come out the winner. Do you plan to exhaust your emotional bar, physical bar, financial bar, spiritual bar for something that you will end up coming a loser and society will not applaud you. Society will not feel sorry for you. Society will still blame you as a deadbeat dad at the end. If you don't do anything you are a deadbeat dad, if you do everything in your wake you are a deadbeat dad. So don't think you are going to come out a hero here. Many men come out insane, commit suicide, end up in the street and as you can see their names are not mentioned in the media or talked about and there are no social revolution from people to fight against this. It is normalized and accepted.

    My advice to you..is to do everything in your wake to please Allah alone and no one else. You are doing this for Allah and not for your daughter and not for society. You are going to go through the process so that in the day of judgement when your daughter comes in front of the court of Allah and says to Allah, "MY FATHER FAILED ME! HE ABANDONED ME! HE HATES ME! HE NEGLECTED IN HIS DUTY! ALLAH GIVE ME HIS PARADISE! GIVE ME ALL HIS GOOD DEEDS!" You will have proof in that day that it is not true...that you actually went through the effort and climbed for her, but you had obstacles that prevented you. Her mother and the laws are set against you and you had no power over forces you cannot handle. Even if the daughter are the day of judgement will scream "IT IS NOT ENOUGH! HE FAILED! HE SHOULD HAVE DONE MORE!" Allah is all knowing and Just and knows your limit and he is all merciful. HUMAN BEINGS ARE HEARTLESS and UNMERCIFUL....except for the prophets (of course) and his friends...but Allah is the one and only true God and merciful to his creations and he knows your capability and circumstances. He will reward you for your efforts and punish the ones who oppressed you. Even if that oppressor is a woman.

    Just don't feel it is the end of your life and move on! Seriously...move on. Whether your children love you or hate you...move on..it doesn't matter

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    Re: My marriage from day one has had more downs than ups, i feel like im in a nightma

    Quote Originally Posted by xboxisdead View Post
    As long as you have contact relationship somehow you have not cut ties. Even if you never see her physically at all (that is not a problem), but you can talk to her ones in a while like she is talking to a relative or uncle that is not considered cutting ties. She then will not have anything against you in the afterlife. You pay child support, contact her ones a while...ask how she is doing, is everything ok, etc listen to her and do your duty at a distance it is great. Make sure you record all sessions electronically. You want to avoid any open door of false allegation happening to you. Ask the permission of the mother before contacting her that she agrees that the conversation is going to be recorded. If she refuses then do not talk to her until she agrees. You want to protect yourself from any lawsuit, sexual false allegation, etc. The mother could go vindictive and decide she does not want you to have any relation with the child period and my even put you in prison just to hurt you. You have to protect yourself completely. Women in UK are the property of the government. The government is her father and protector and the government owns her and she is part of the state (if only women knew). As such you need to protect yourself completely from any potential harm against the state.

    But don't forget...that your ex-wife could make it harder and harder for you to even contact her through skype, email or any form of communication. She might say oh she is sleeping right now. Or she might say ohh..she is sick. Or she might say ooh she is with her friends and you have to go through the process of fighting again through the court to enforce the law for you to see your kids and the cycle of insanity will continue. She might go droplets and droplets like tiny water drops from the sink to formulate some type of parental alienation where the mother comes out innocent but the daughter decided on her free will she wants nothing to do with you. The mother might slip that you are bad. The mother might slip that you may have touched her somehow....etc. Whatever the case base this is not a battle that will be over and you come out the winner. Do you plan to exhaust your emotional bar, physical bar, financial bar, spiritual bar for something that you will end up coming a loser and society will not applaud you. Society will not feel sorry for you. Society will still blame you as a deadbeat dad at the end. If you don't do anything you are a deadbeat dad, if you do everything in your wake you are a deadbeat dad. So don't think you are going to come out a hero here. Many men come out insane, commit suicide, end up in the street and as you can see their names are not mentioned in the media or talked about and there are no social revolution from people to fight against this. It is normalized and accepted.

    My advice to you..is to do everything in your wake to please Allah alone and no one else. You are doing this for Allah and not for your daughter and not for society. You are going to go through the process so that in the day of judgement when your daughter comes in front of the court of Allah and says to Allah, "MY FATHER FAILED ME! HE ABANDONED ME! HE HATES ME! HE NEGLECTED IN HIS DUTY! ALLAH GIVE ME HIS PARADISE! GIVE ME ALL HIS GOOD DEEDS!" You will have proof in that day that it is not true...that you actually went through the effort and climbed for her, but you had obstacles that prevented you. Her mother and the laws are set against you and you had no power over forces you cannot handle. Even if the daughter are the day of judgement will scream "IT IS NOT ENOUGH! HE FAILED! HE SHOULD HAVE DONE MORE!" Allah is all knowing and Just and knows your limit and he is all merciful. HUMAN BEINGS ARE HEARTLESS and UNMERCIFUL....except for the prophets (of course) and his friends...but Allah is the one and only true God and merciful to his creations and he knows your capability and circumstances. He will reward you for your efforts and punish the ones who oppressed you. Even if that oppressor is a woman.

    Just don't feel it is the end of your life and move on! Seriously...move on. Whether your children love you or hate you...move on..it doesn't matter
    Jazak Allah.

    FYI
    Court date for the first hearing in London family court is end of Jan 2019. Everyone, Please remember me and my family in your prayers and may Allah swt make it easy for us, forgive us for all of our sins and reward us for our calamities insha Allah.

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    Re: My marriage from day one has had more downs than ups, i feel like im in a nightma

    Everyone in this forum reading this, please, I humbly request duas from everyone. May Allah swt make it easy for and and everyone struggling with calamities in this life.

    My initial first court hearing regarding child access is this Monday 28th january. After which there will be subsequent hearings until I get the court order. Despite getting the order if allah wills i don't know what's round the corner anymore. May ALLAH swt prevent us from facing further calamities and pray he makes it easy for me and everyone.

    I will be representing myself in court and I have been trying my best to prepare paperwork and procedural research and tryjng to build up the courage to go to court in london. I keep telling myself.... whatever happens whether i succeed or not.. whether good or bad...... it is all from Allah swt. Ya Allah, he will look after me insh Allah.

    It's not an easy life. Nor am I the worst off, there are so many others with calamities which are much much worse. Yet I strive for recompense and justice. Want my life to be worry free. I have been patient. It can get frustrating sometimes. Innallaha ma'as swaabireen.....

    Jazak Allah.
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    Re: My marriage from day one has had more downs than ups, i feel like im in a nightma

    Quote Originally Posted by Imraan View Post
    Everyone in this forum reading this, please, I humbly request duas from everyone. May Allah swt make it easy for and and everyone struggling with calamities in this life.

    My initial first court hearing regarding child access is this Monday 28th january. After which there will be subsequent hearings until I get the court order. Despite getting the order if allah wills i don't know what's round the corner anymore. May ALLAH swt prevent us from facing further calamities and pray he makes it easy for me and everyone.

    I will be representing myself in court and I have been trying my best to prepare paperwork and procedural research and tryjng to build up the courage to go to court in london. I keep telling myself.... whatever happens whether i succeed or not.. whether good or bad...... it is all from Allah swt. Ya Allah, he will look after me insh Allah.

    It's not an easy life. Nor am I the worst off, there are so many others with calamities which are much much worse. Yet I strive for recompense and justice. Want my life to be worry free. I have been patient. It can get frustrating sometimes. Innallaha ma'as swaabireen.....

    Jazak Allah.
    I am happy and I am proud you put your trust completely on Allah (Subhanahu Wa Talaa). I am going to say this one more time....put all your best...if after all your best you still have no right to that child and the mother of the child successfully used the court to cut ties between you and that child.....it is not your...fault. Don't cry. Don't fret and don't give up. Make sure you have money for your daughter's education and make sure you save up for her inheritance. You are a good dad. You are a good person and Allah knows what is in your heart. All I ask...is that you be patient. All I ask is that you simply make dua and move on.
    Last edited by *charisma*; 01-22-2019 at 10:04 AM.
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    Re: My marriage from day one has had more downs than ups, i feel like im in a nightma

    Quote Originally Posted by Imraan View Post
    Everyone in this forum reading this, please, I humbly request duas from everyone. May Allah swt make it easy for and and everyone struggling with calamities in this life.

    My initial first court hearing regarding child access is this Monday 28th january. After which there will be subsequent hearings until I get the court order. Despite getting the order if allah wills i don't know what's round the corner anymore. May ALLAH swt prevent us from facing further calamities and pray he makes it easy for me and everyone.

    I will be representing myself in court and I have been trying my best to prepare paperwork and procedural research and tryjng to build up the courage to go to court in london. I keep telling myself.... whatever happens whether i succeed or not.. whether good or bad...... it is all from Allah swt. Ya Allah, he will look after me insh Allah.

    It's not an easy life. Nor am I the worst off, there are so many others with calamities which are much much worse. Yet I strive for recompense and justice. Want my life to be worry free. I have been patient. It can get frustrating sometimes. Innallaha ma'as swaabireen.....

    Jazak Allah.
    May Allah ease your affairs, grant you rights to see your daughter, and allow you to raise her under your protection as a god fearing father ameen. May you also be granted a wife better than the one you have lost whether in this world or the afterlife. Continue with your efforts and patience, indeed allah loves those who are patient.
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    My marriage from day one has had more downs than ups, i feel like im in a nightmare,

    D e a t h

    is the easiest
    of all things after it
    ; ;

    the hardest
    of all things before it

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    Re: My marriage from day one has had more downs than ups, i feel like im in a nightma

    Quote Originally Posted by Imraan View Post
    Everyone in this forum reading this, please, I humbly request duas from everyone. May Allah swt make it easy for and and everyone struggling with calamities in this life.

    My initial first court hearing regarding child access is this Monday 28th january. After which there will be subsequent hearings until I get the court order. Despite getting the order if allah wills i don't know what's round the corner anymore. May ALLAH swt prevent us from facing further calamities and pray he makes it easy for me and everyone.

    I will be representing myself in court and I have been trying my best to prepare paperwork and procedural research and tryjng to build up the courage to go to court in london. I keep telling myself.... whatever happens whether i succeed or not.. whether good or bad...... it is all from Allah swt. Ya Allah, he will look after me insh Allah.

    It's not an easy life. Nor am I the worst off, there are so many others with calamities which are much much worse. Yet I strive for recompense and justice. Want my life to be worry free. I have been patient. It can get frustrating sometimes. Innallaha ma'as swaabireen.....

    Jazak Allah.
    Do your best and leave the rest to Allah. I will make dua for you.
    | Likes Imraan liked this post
    My marriage from day one has had more downs than ups, i feel like im in a nightmare,

    Jabir bin 'Abdullah narrated that the Messenger of Allah (s.a.w) said:'A slave (of Allah) shall not believe until he believes in Al-Qadar, its good and its bad, such that he knows that what struck him would not have missed him, and that what missed him would not have struck him." (Jami 'at Tirmidhi)

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    Re: My marriage from day one has had more downs than ups, i feel like im in a nightma

    Update: unfortunately due to the severity of the allegations (falsified and twisted) which the mother has put forward to the court and social workers (cafcass) the court decided not to even give me supervised access until they do more investigation despite no police records or incidents. May ALLAH guide us all and protect us from oppressors. I pray the oppression stop or at least slows down. The next hearing is end of April. Tough times brothers and sisters.
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    Re: My marriage from day one has had more downs than ups, i feel like im in a nightma

    Quote Originally Posted by Imraan View Post
    Update: unfortunately due to the severity of the allegations (falsified and twisted) which the mother has put forward to the court and social workers (cafcass) the court decided not to even give me supervised access until they do more investigation despite no police records or incidents. May ALLAH guide us all and protect us from oppressors. I pray the oppression stop or at least slows down. The next hearing is end of April. Tough times brothers and sisters.
    I envy you In ways, I wish I was in your shoes! Muslim and got oppressed combination! What better treasure than this!

    WHAT BETTER HONOR to be a Muslim and oppressed! I seriously envy you! Here is what you do. Do Dua, clean the dust from your body, stand up and smile. You are one of those men who are oppressed in this world and in the afterlife you will have such reward, such great treasure waiting for you that when you see it...you will cry and wish I was oppressed more in this life. You are THAT MAN BROTHER! YOU ARE THAT MAN and I envy you deeply! I seriously do!!

    Look at it this way...if she turn your daughter against you and make your daughter your oppressor and she ruin your reputation and made the entire community look down at you and oppress you....that means SOMETHING UNIMAGINABLE is waiting for you in the afterlife. Quickly...run and pray and do istigfar and ask Allah (Subhanahu Wa Talaa) for forgiveness and know something great is waiting for you. Take my advice...do dua to Allah (Subhananu Wa talaa) that you die Muslim...the dua of the oppressed is answered and there is no "curtain" between you and Allah (Subhananu Wa Talaa) and your dua is answered in this world before the afterlife. DO DUA THAT YOU DIE MUSLIM and that Allah (Subhananu Wa Talaa) make your imaan strong and steady fast and that you pass the exam of agony death when you die and the shaitaan tries to cause you disbelief. Do dua to Allah (Subhananu Wa Talaa) that you pass that exam and in the afterlife you have weapon...the ammunition...the ball in your court to take all the good deeds of your wife. You brother WON! You brother are the winner!!
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    Re: My marriage from day one has had more downs than ups, i feel like im in a nightma

    Quote Originally Posted by Imraan View Post
    Update: unfortunately due to the severity of the allegations (falsified and twisted) which the mother has put forward to the court and social workers (cafcass) the court decided not to even give me supervised access until they do more investigation despite no police records or incidents. May ALLAH guide us all and protect us from oppressors. I pray the oppression stop or at least slows down. The next hearing is end of April. Tough times brothers and sisters.
    May Allah grant you patience and strength.

    Narrated `Aisha: (the wife of the Prophet) Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said, "No calamity befalls a Muslim but that Allah expiates some of his sins because of it, even though it were the prick he receives from a thorn." (Sahih al Bukhari)

    There is a dua you can say :

    Umm Salamah (May Allah be pleased with her) reported: I heard the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) saying, "When a person suffers from a calamity and utters: 'Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi raji'un. Allahumma ujurni fi musibati, wakhluf li khairan minha (We belong to Allah and to Him we shall return. O Allah! Compensate me in my affliction, recompense my loss and give me something better in exchange for it), then Allah surely compensates him with reward and better substitute." Umm Salamah (May Allah be pleased with her) said: When Abu Salamah (May Allah be pleased with him) died, I repeated the same supplication as the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) had commanded me (to do). So Allah bestowed upon me a better substitute than him (I was married to Muhammad, the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ)). (Sahih Muslim)


    | Likes Imraan liked this post
    My marriage from day one has had more downs than ups, i feel like im in a nightmare,

    Jabir bin 'Abdullah narrated that the Messenger of Allah (s.a.w) said:'A slave (of Allah) shall not believe until he believes in Al-Qadar, its good and its bad, such that he knows that what struck him would not have missed him, and that what missed him would not have struck him." (Jami 'at Tirmidhi)

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    Re: My marriage from day one has had more downs than ups, i feel like im in a nightma

    May Allah grant you patience and strength.
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    My marriage from day one has had more downs than ups, i feel like im in a nightmare,


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    Re: My marriage from day one has had more downs than ups, i feel like im in a nightma

    Quote Originally Posted by xboxisdead View Post
    I envy you In ways, I wish I was in your shoes! Muslim and got oppressed combination! What better treasure than this!

    WHAT BETTER HONOR to be a Muslim and oppressed! I seriously envy you! Here is what you do. Do Dua, clean the dust from your body, stand up and smile. You are one of those men who are oppressed in this world and in the afterlife you will have such reward, such great treasure waiting for you that when you see it...you will cry and wish I was oppressed more in this life. You are THAT MAN BROTHER! YOU ARE THAT MAN and I envy you deeply! I seriously do!!

    Look at it this way...if she turn your daughter against you and make your daughter your oppressor and she ruin your reputation and made the entire community look down at you and oppress you....that means SOMETHING UNIMAGINABLE is waiting for you in the afterlife. Quickly...run and pray and do istigfar and ask Allah (Subhanahu Wa Talaa) for forgiveness and know something great is waiting for you. Take my advice...do dua to Allah (Subhananu Wa talaa) that you die Muslim...the dua of the oppressed is answered and there is no "curtain" between you and Allah (Subhananu Wa Talaa) and your dua is answered in this world before the afterlife. DO DUA THAT YOU DIE MUSLIM and that Allah (Subhananu Wa Talaa) make your imaan strong and steady fast and that you pass the exam of agony death when you die and the shaitaan tries to cause you disbelief. Do dua to Allah (Subhananu Wa Talaa) that you pass that exam and in the afterlife you have weapon...the ammunition...the ball in your court to take all the good deeds of your wife. You brother WON! You brother are the winner!!
    Jzk brother. I never really looked at life from that perspective. Naturally I've always wanted the best of both worlds... and I know deep down inside me I will always want the best of both worlds no matter how much I turn away from blessings that can be received in this world. I've strived for a wife and kids (a family of my own, who doesn't) for a long time. I've strived for a luxury car for a long time. I've strived for other things for a long time. Don't know if I'm going to get it. But I'm grateful for all other achievements to date although sometimes I do feel I took it for granted or did not show enough gratitude to our creator. May ALLAH swt guide us all Insh Allah.

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    Re: My marriage from day one has had more downs than ups, i feel like im in a nightma

    Quote Originally Posted by IslamLife00 View Post
    May Allah grant you patience and strength.

    Narrated `Aisha: (the wife of the Prophet) Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said, "No calamity befalls a Muslim but that Allah expiates some of his sins because of it, even though it were the prick he receives from a thorn." (Sahih al Bukhari)

    There is a dua you can say :

    Umm Salamah (May Allah be pleased with her) reported: I heard the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) saying, "When a person suffers from a calamity and utters: 'Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi raji'un. Allahumma ujurni fi musibati, wakhluf li khairan minha (We belong to Allah and to Him we shall return. O Allah! Compensate me in my affliction, recompense my loss and give me something better in exchange for it), then Allah surely compensates him with reward and better substitute." Umm Salamah (May Allah be pleased with her) said: When Abu Salamah (May Allah be pleased with him) died, I repeated the same supplication as the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) had commanded me (to do). So Allah bestowed upon me a better substitute than him (I was married to Muhammad, the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ)). (Sahih Muslim)


    Assalam walaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu.

    I deeply appreciate everyone's support and suggestions, Jazak Allahu Khayran. Everyone is included in my daily prayers.

    I had my second hearing at the family court on Friday 26th April and I thought it would be good if i gave you all an update.

    Prior to the hearing a Cafcass officer came to my house and interviewed me for about 2 and half hours (my daughters mother was interviewed as well). They later produced a report which worked more in favour of my application for contact despite concluding residency should be with mother. We all knew this would happen anyway right? During the interview I was able to point out any concerns I had on the safety of my child and prove misleading statements made by the respondent mother. All was either proven or justified by me and also included in the report which is presented to judges and clerks. Basically the mother was caught lying, she basically exposed herself to taking part in perverting the course of justice. Which is a crime in the UK. Anyway the report outlined a recommendation, like a contact plan for the kid to see her father I.e. progressional contact to develop bond in certain settings I.e. direct supervised, direct supported, direct in the community and eventually leading to direct contact with over night stays. Alhamdulillah you don't know how relieved I was, me and my kid will eventually get to see each other soon insh Allah. Hope i can teach her to be God fearing and wise insh Allah.

    So I went into the court room and I think the judges decided theres not enough info or evidence for them to dig any deeper into the allegations as they rendered them conflict between two parents Then the opposition side wanted to negotiate contact, they felt they have too much legal costs. They knew they didn't have legs to stand on, their allegations lacked evidence and clarity. Some of it not even related to my contact application. Their legal position was very weak. The respondents solicitor then went onto saying they wanted to negotiate the contact on their terms, i.e. instead of it eventually being 8 hours they wanted it to be 6, nitty gritty stuff like that and more. I wouldn't give in. I decided that the bare minimum contact I should be entitled to is as recommended by the cafcass social worker. Unfortunately we couldn't agree and the courts ran out of time (despite the judges and court staying behind an extra hour to get this sorted) so the hearing was adjourned to a final hearing in September, where if both parties cant agree the judges set the agreement. On one hand I came back empty handed, Allah swt knows best. On the other hand I came back knowing they couldn't delay the contact any later than September this year insh Allah, especially by using lies and domestic violence or abuse as an excuse anymore. In any case Shukr Alhamdulillah.
    However it didn't go the way I planned on Friday. My plan was to initially get contact in the interim (they have to at least grant supervised contact even if abuse or violence cannot be proved beyond any reasonable doubt at that point in time), while we battle the allegations out in detail and I seek the finalised order at a later date. It didn't go to plan for whatever reason and the judges decided to see if we can agree a final order on the day. As a consequence due to running out of time and not being able to agree the contact schedule it had to be concluded to another day. Allah knows best.

    Whenever I would read the allegations it used to dishearten me deeply. Due to the character of the mother, some of the allegations were very outragous and very low. I am deeply embarrassed being on the receiving end of such allegations. On top of that the act of misleading the courts like that is atrocious! I hope the courts realise that the origins of these allegations are speaking volumes about ones character. Why do people do it? Don't they know their victims earn their rewards in the hereafter? Ramadan is literally round the corner, her keeping my daughter from me all this time will benefit me somewhat because I'll get her rewards for whatever ibadah she does (if she does), doesn't she know?

    Once again I want my journey to be an example to others so maybe it deters them from making mistakes. The reason why I've got this far is because I have faith that Allah is always with me no matter what and the fact that I also have to fulfill a little girls basic rights has made me perservere using what I have, she needs her father too. Whether her attitude towards me will change in her adolescent years I don't know, especially when her upbringing will be in a very typical family in the heart of east London, under the care of a mother who shows no compassion, no moral responsibilities or any mercy to me. Will she turn out like her mum? Hope not.

    All your duas and support helped so far insh Allah. May Allah swt guide us all and tighten the hearts of the oppressors insh Allah so that they may be guided on a more righteous path.

    Jazak Allah

    Imran.
    Last edited by Imraan; 3 Weeks Ago at 07:05 PM.


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