Suicide or Zina

Not getting married is the crux of this problem, so plz read the following dua after 5 times salah:

رَبِّ إِنِّي لِمَا أَنْزَلْتَ إِلَيَّ مِنْ خَيْرٍ فَقِيرٌ

"O my Sustainer! Verily, in dire need am I of any good which Thou mayest bestow upon me!"

surah al qasas verse 24

format_quote Originally Posted by Jonz

I have big problem that I just don't know how to solve.........No matter how much I cry for help, I never receive help from Allah.

Assalamu Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh,

Firstly - what has Allah azza wajal said in the Quran?





Secondly - Do you know the power of Dua? Dua is a weapon of a believer!

I'd like to kindly share and recommend this dua in this difficulty hardship.

Arabic to English: Allahumma rahmataka arju fala takilni ila nafsi tarfata 'aynin wa aslih li sha'ni kullahu la ilaaha il-la anta

Meaning: Allah, it is Your mercy that I hope for, so do not leave me in charge of my affairs even for a blink of an eye, and rectify for me all of my affairs. None has the right to be worshiped except You.

Learn More: https://www.duasrevival.com/supplica...-dont-leave-me

Please remember us in your Duas.

Jazakallahu Khair,
DR

format_quote Originally Posted by Jonz

I have big problem that I just don't know how to solve.

I'm 34 years old and I literally do not have anything to live for, no friends, no wife or kids and no reason to wake up in the morning. No life. I have tried to find a wife to start a life with but as always - either she does not like me or I don't like her.

All my life I have always tired to be a good Muslim, but luck has never been on my side.
I have never allowed myself to commit Zina even though the desire have always been inside me.

I'm constantly thinking about suicide as that would be the better solution then zina or fornication.

I seriously hate myself and wish to end it all, why did Allah make suicide haram?

Am I meant to suffer like this for the next 40 years in loneliness?

Yes I could die tomorrow but my bad luck would ensure that I would live for the next 40 years.

No matter how much I cry for help, I never receive help from Allah.

I'm ready to end it all by dry fasting until I drift away in a long never-ending sleep.

İ met my wife at 35. Within a year after that first day we got married. Now İ am 39...have a loving wife and even have the sweetest 2 year old daughter. You do the math how fast things can change. From one day with nothing to the day having the world alhamduillah.
Be patient my friend...your day has not come yet...keep having faith.

I havet been saying this dua for a very long time.

I wish Allah would respond.
I wish Allah would hear my pain.
I just don't know what to do.

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format_quote Originally Posted by azc

Not getting married is the crux of this problem, so plz read the following dua after 5 times salah:

رَبِّ إِنِّي لِمَا أَنْزَلْتَ إِلَيَّ مِنْ خَيْرٍ فَقِيرٌ

"O my Sustainer! Verily, in dire need am I of any good which Thou mayest bestow upon me!"

surah al qasas verse 24

I have been saying this dua for a very long time.

I wish Allah would respond.
I wish Allah would hear my pain and that it is not my Qadr to be alone my whole life.
I just don't know what to do.

format_quote Originally Posted by Ümit

İ met my wife at 35. Within a year after that first day we got married. Now İ am 39...have a loving wife and even have the sweetest 2 year old daughter. You do the math how fast things can change. From one day with nothing to the day having the world alhamduillah.
Be patient my friend...your day has not come yet...keep having faith.

I really just want to be lucky in life just like you.
I really want to meet this (would be wife) that will make years of pain and loneliness all worth the wait.

My fear is that I will break and fall down in haram before that happens.

Ya Allah help me...

format_quote Originally Posted by Jonz

I really just want to be lucky in life just like you.
I really want to meet this (would be wife) that will make years of pain and loneliness all worth the wait.

My fear is that I will break and fall down in haram before that happens.

Ya Allah help me...

May Allah bless you with happy married life. Ameen

is there none in family who can find a suitable girl for you..?

Matrimonial sites is also a good option.

format_quote Originally Posted by azc

May Allah bless you with happy married life. Ameen

is there none in family who can find a suitable girl for you..?

Matrimonial sites is also a good option.

I have tried that path years ago, does not seem to work.

I only seem to attract scam artists.

format_quote Originally Posted by Jonz

I have tried that path years ago, does not seem to work.

I only seem to attract scam artists.

try again.

And what about your family ?

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Your country ?

format_quote Originally Posted by azc

try again.

And what about your family ?

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Your country ?

My mother is an old woman, she tried many times but no luck, my country is Norway.

I seriously wish I was living in an Arab country but it is almost impossible to find a good job in United Arab Emirates.

Brother, in the first instance calm down bro. seriously. while your situation is bad, others are in more worse off situations... be grateful you are where you are at now.

I was once in the same position as you and the singleton life done my head in ... always wondering when i would be united with a lover.... to be able to fulfill my desires the halal way, have children and all the other post marital stuff hoping it would be blessed by Allah swt.

You need to read my post bro, read it from the beginning so you can somewhat FEEL/IMAGINE my journey which started in 2014-ish. i was 33 at the time up until the present moment (TODAY).

My marriage from day one has had more downs than ups, i feel like im in a nightmare,

Mate, Jonz... dont know what to say and this aint no competition to see who is worse off, this it to make you realise what you have at the moment and to trust Allah swt in your life and worldly matters going forward.

while you pray for yourself, your family, remember to pray for me and others who are facing calamities, so that it may become easier for all of us.

Jazak Allah.

format_quote Originally Posted by Jonz

My mother is an old woman, she tried many times but no luck, my country is Norway.

I seriously wish I was living in an Arab country but it is almost impossible to find a good job in United Arab Emirates.

I agree with matrimonial sites being an option, this seems to be becoming the norm these days, however exercise caution at all times...

In my opinion it is best to get Mahrams, guardians, parents involved at a very very early stage, especially for girls because they are too vulnerable and may find themselves in a catch 22 situation where they realise they can't marry the guy due to parents disapproval or some other politics at the same time its sometimes too late as they have fallen for the guy.... or even vice versa...

stay strong, have faith and follow the Sunnah

If it is mean to be, Allah Swt will make it easy for you, if not then the difficulties endured will be a sign to move on.

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format_quote Originally Posted by Jonz

My mother is an old woman, she tried many times but no luck, my country is Norway.

I seriously wish I was living in an Arab country but it is almost impossible to find a good job in United Arab Emirates.

My mother is an elderly woman too Brother Jonz.... be blessed you still have her, few brothers and sisters out there that do not even have any parents...

Anyway back to your headline 'suicide or zina'

i remember contemplating the same during some difficult times... you need to work on your imaan bro........ I had to, of course, it was the only way out.

At the same time you need to take in some info.

You're a muslim right, off course you are. Remember these points:

You think your body is yours?, you are wrong if you think it is. Your body belongs to Allah swt, he has entrusted you with it, he gave you life, he blessed you with everything you have right now, including sanity/intelligence to make you of sound mind to make good decisions, thats why we try to follow the sunnah to the best of our abilities so we are guided on the righteous path Insh Allah. If you were to commit suicide, your ruh / soul will be held accountable for it in the hereafter. Your body is not for you to do as you wish, its humanity's test on a individual basis. Anyway, you have your mother to think about bro, don't make her a mother without a son or someone who loses a son.

You think Zina's another way out? Zina is one of the worst sins you can commit to, there are big big punishments awaiting those who commit it. You see or hear about people/friends committing it, yet they lead a normal life here, maybe even a better life than you, have you seen it?, i have .... Zina is a grave sin. Once an individual realises he committed it, he has to repent in such a way that no one or nothing is left unconvinced, even then Allah swt decides what justice is served. So if you do commit Zina, remember you may pay for it dearly in this world, or to some intensified degree in the hereafter, you won't know it until you experience it off course... dare to get a taste of the punishment either in this world or the hereafter or both? Best stay away from it altogether. If you do commit Zina here, you may pay a big price here, one that cripples you and your family.

Knowing the above points and understanding spiritual wisdom during your calamities, do you still think its worth considering Suicide or Zina, erm NO!

From my understanding these negative thoughts intensify at times when the Shaytan is nearby, they tend to attack/penetrate when ones Imaan is weak.

I did the following to improve my 'god consciousness/Imaan' and to reduce the Shaytans effect on me....
- Continued my 5 daily prayers where I can and made more effort to join in congregational prayers at the Masjid rather than just praying at home alone.
- Recite Quran, if you can, if you can't then make effort to refresh your reading skills. I myself refer to Tajweed recitations by Qari Abdul Basit and other Qari's on youtube whilst following Quranic script, attend tajweed courses, bought a Quran with english transliteration
- Researched the journey's and calamities endured by our prophets, Alhamdulillah, i cannot stress enough when you hear the stories, makes you wish you were there to see Allah swt's miracles on how he saved those prophets from calamities... I doubt you'll see any miracles as such in the present era as them miracles involving our prophets were of biblical proportions, Alhamdulillah.
- Contributed to charity / lillah to the masjid more often
- Consider making your pilgrimage to Saudi to perform your Ummrah with your mum, or even your Hajj if possible, the prices for Hajj go up every year, but im sure you can do your Ummrah, you're working and you may have some savings.
- Constantly reading dua's, trying to memorise them
- Always uttering in instances just before going into deep thought arabic phrases such as
Laa Ilahaa Illallaah Mohammdur Rasoolullah
Laa Ilahaha Subhanaka Inni Kunthu Minazzwaalimeeen
Inna Lillahi Wa Innalillayhi Rajioon
.................and theres so many more short dua's, look into it.
(i'm always uttering them in my mind as well as whispering, if im alone outside shopping or at work in the hallway or at the gym i just say it out loud)

cause and effect bro, every action will have a reaction somewhere, dont ever think you can commit something and it won't have any consequences.... it will catch up with you at some point.

Remember us in your Dua'z brother Jonz and everyone else in this forum reading this and may Allah swt guide us even if the worst storms come our way....

JazakAllah.

As hard as it is we need to tether ourselves to the akhira and be grateful for what we have (islamذlife)