I'm really worried about my future, that I don't know how I will die. I like to know if there is a strong chapter from Quran that can guarantee you that you will definitely say shahada at the time of death.

Here are the reasons:

1) I'm unable to be happy and content, no matter what I do.

2) the jealousy I have, it cannot be healed.

3) and I will live with intense anger for whole life due to the fact that I cannot seek for new divine laws and legislations.

The motivations are:

1) If I'm happy and I'm careless about my Christian mother's fate in future, then that would make me be a selfish and miserable for not thinking about others.

2) I really don't like for me not to have a true believer mother while my Muslim cousin has.

3) I don't like for my life to be boring and not interesting, because without music and art, my life is totally boring. And I don't like the fact that I cannot make Dua for reversal of time. I feel like my life is already a miserable one just because I'm limited on doing this and that, you know what I mean? So, my life is pointless.

I wish to know:

1) is there a strong chapter which can guarantee me safety in grave and also to have shahada on my lips before I die? If yes, can you tell me what it is?

2) If now I feel very angry, frustrated and jealous, then when I get to Paradise, then these feelings which I faced them, it will definitely disappear when I get to Paradise? Or, it will remain with me in Paradise as well?

Honestly, I cannot do anything for my mother to convert to Islam, because she told me once out of anger: "spare me with Islam". And no matter what behavior and attitude I have towards her, still she won't convert to Islam as she thinks that she is a true believer....