i had to ask some questions i opened my account again i hope i get them clear here.
I wanted to know, i have been living a life of ghaflah and i would collect knowledge abt Islam. With the “Thought” that i am v good muslimah and soon i m going to start practice. All these years i had in mind as if i am good while not saying salah nor care of parents etc
till that after so much years i did thouba. Started saying salah but now i feel like What i was thinking abt myself was just lie?
It was deception of Shytan.
My question is. My intention was right. I did sins with intentions that i am good n one day i wil start ibadah n that its not my life my life will start soon.
How can a person decieve himself for years? What was that? I am edicated intelligent person how did i decieved my own self? Or i was too selfish? I used to think i am v close to Allah but now i feel like i am faar away.
2- if i was selfish n had a heart of hypocrite can my Nature be changed?
plz help me understanding my past so i can move forward inshaAllah
i will ask a couple of questions then leave inshaAllah. Hopefully you answer me.. i will be waiting..
You have to take into consideration the difference between a good person and a good Muslim. A good person may not always be a good Muslim. So based on society, you might be a good person, but in Islam, maybe you are not that great of a Muslim. One of the most important things you should be doing is completing your prayers, because prayers are what keeps our connection with Allah and helps to expiate for our sins. They are also obligatory on you. You can also do sunnah fasting and make up any of your missed fasts. You should be dutiful and kind to your parents. You should give in charity. There are many things you can do which can make you a better Muslim. It is never too late to repent and do better. Allah will always forgive as long as you are sincere, even if you were a hypocrite.
Yes you would have been classed as a hypocryt in the past however this is not the same as hypocryt who doesn't believe but just one who's actions are not fully according to Islam, and the fact that you didn't know the magnitude of wrong you were doing mitigates it further InshAllah.
There is no point on dwelling on the past and feeling sorry for yourself as that only opens up path to despair, so just put it behind you and look to the future
Never consider yourself a good person or Muslim as that is arrogance and an atom of arrogance takes to hell, so all you need to do is do taubah for past and thereafter go straight!
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