Should i marry a non-muslim that wants to convert? (OP)
Salaam,
this is my first post and i don't know how conservative this forum is so go easy on me please, jazakallahu khairan. I like this guy, he is non-muslim and he wants to convert to Islam. However I have no way to know if he truly is converting for me or for Allah. I just assume the best. Would it be a bad idea to marry him after he converts? He has very very good character and is extremely polite. Only thing is he doesn't live an Islamic lifestyle (obviously since he's not muslim). He drinks once in awhile, watches porn once in awhile, goes to concerts once in awhile. Despite this, he is a very kind person and I hope he gets true hidayah of Islam because he is so careful not to hurt anyone's feelings and I really admire that about him. I've never heard him insult or say anything bad about anyone or be harsh to anyone ever which is a rare quality nowadays.
I've been giving him Islamic material and he wants to take his shahadah soon. Would you advise me not to marry this person after he converts? Obviously his parents aren't muslim so i'm worried about that... and he is a newbie so he doesn't know much at all and I would very much like to raise my kids in an upright way. I try to be as conservative as possible for example, not watch tv movies or listen to music so I'm not sure if my kids will end up confused because he likes to watch violent and sexual anime.... (I have no idea why). I met him because I wear niqab and he was curious and started asking me some questions about islam, but I think he just wanted to flirt with me to be honest, but now it seems like he is seriously thinking about converting and says he likes how islam has a gameplan and structure for everything and he needs that in his life. He also had some depression issues 5 years back, tried to kill himself with overdosing on lithium but he is stable now and is a counselor and is very considerate to other people and uses his own experience to give people advice and therapy.
I'm also super attracted to him, not so much his looks but just his demeanor. I can't help it. I know it's wrong but I've never been so attracted to someone before in my life which is why i'm posting this on a forum because Im worried if I dont marry him I will just always be thinking about him. Ugh. Please give me some advice brothers and sisters. he is so serious yet so sweet and that is exactly what I find attractive in a guy and most guys nowadays aren't serious or sweet and considerate. He said he will propose to me after he converts. Should I accept or no? Thank you so much. May Allah bless you all.
Re: Should i marry a non-muslim that wants to convert?
Sister I agree with ZeeshanParvez.
Trust in Allah and if this man is written for you he will himself come and marry you.
But you have to protect yourself just in case this man doesnt turn out to be what you hope to be.
Pray istikhara and keep your distance and refer him to the local scholar or imam.
He has to convert to Islam not just because it would discipline him but because he believes in it as well.
Just pray istikhara and if it doesnt work out and he doesnt propose to you...know Allah has in store for you a better man
Re: Should i marry a non-muslim that wants to convert?
format_quote Originally Posted by Studentofdeed
Sister I agree with ZeeshanParvez.
Trust in Allah and if this man is written for you he will himself come and marry you.
But you have to protect yourself just in case this man doesnt turn out to be what you hope to be.
Pray istikhara and keep your distance and refer him to the local scholar or imam.
He has to convert to Islam not just because it would discipline him but because he believes in it as well.
Just pray istikhara and if it doesnt work out and he doesnt propose to you...know Allah has in store for you a better man
I will add to it....that better man could be in the afterlife and not dunaya. So exercise patience if you never one here...know that man for you is not in dunaya but in akhira.
Re: Should i marry a non-muslim that wants to convert?
format_quote Originally Posted by phoenix_roads
Thank you for your kindness Abdurrahman. If only more Muslims would take heed. Negative assumption is a sin and you're supposed to make 70 excuses for fellow muslims but most muslims will not even make one and are quick to find faults You are different so may Allah reward you for that. I think that's another reason why I like him, I am so used to muslims having bad character. Alhamdullilah, I asked him about his bad habits so I can give him tailored Islamic information that will help him. This is the reason he divulged information about alcohol and porn. And yes he discussed marrying me and I didn't stop him and that might have been wrong of me, though I did not flirt myself. In shaa Allah the positives of him converting will outweigh any harm done. And if Allah saves him from the hellfire through me, it's a tremendous honor and blessing. He said he's going to keep reading and will in shaa Allah take his shahadah on the first day of Ramadan. In shaa Allah everything will work out well. Thanks again brother
You are welcome sister it's my pleasure to try and help
InshAllah he'll be a very pious Muslim as he's already got a very kind and considerate heart which really is the aim of ibadah
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