You are meant to be more dutiful (I think that was the word) to your mother than your father. But does that include the love you have in your heart as well? I can be more anxious around my mother and I can feel calmer around my father. Is this considered wrong? Also, is it unlawful to love both parents equally? I had an idea to write a poem for my father as a way to try and show that I love him (although quite good, the relationships with my parents are a bit strained after they divorced). Would writing a poem for him be wrong because I feel anxious writing one for my mother? I’m very confused.
Assalamu alaykum warahmitAllahi wabarakatu.
It is important to be dutiful and kind to your parents. I'm pretty sure you are not sinful for the anxiety you have around your mother. But you must learn to change your thoughts, forgive, and start over. You must treat your mother with respect, kindness, and gifts. Love your mother for the sake of Allah and keep increasing your Iman. Soon this may come with ease.
Make dua
I pray the best for you.
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