Ramadan is over, back to sinning, rinse and repeat

**anonymous** · 06-15-2019

Brothers and sisters, I'm struggling bad. Every year it's the same story and I feel I will continue failing up until death comes to take my soul. Every year, I go through Ramadan with sincere intentions and I don't just look at it as if it is a ritual. Even to the one or two months leading up to Ramadan, I will prepare myself for it. As soon as it's over, I carry on with a specific sin that's been going on since I was young. Without getting too detailed, it involves looking at the haram and not guarding my private parts (not zina). As I said, this all started at a young age before the days of the internet and it's something I've been battling for a very long time. After being exposed to this stuff for so many years, there is no way I can remove it from my mind. I go through Ramadan with high hopes that I will kick the habit, but I come back to it just as bad, if not worse than before. I'll eventually get tired of it, stop for a short time, then pick it up again. I've done so much tawbah in the past and continually make dhikr. I can't even bring myself to cry anymore when I ask for forgiveness. I feel like the damage is irrepairable and my heart has been sealed. My level of hope and trust within myself is near zero. I have full trust in Allah, just not myself. I'm at the lowest level I've been in my life and I don't know what to do anymore.

**shila** · 06-17-2019

Aren't we all sinner? Every second, every minute, every hour noone can escape that. just small things (like talking behind someone, bad talking) also counting as sin.
And thats why Ramadan is there to remind us to keep repent, we have 1 month to get trained over 12 months in a year.
I also cant keep all the good thing i did in Ramadan, either its because when the daily life is back to normal (no more fasting) or because I have like ups and downs in life where i cant keep doing those good things continued after Ramadan.

I think i kinda know where your story is headed to. But I should apologize, cant give advice because i personally not a good muslim too nor im someone who knows how Islam well (Cant give reference to Surah or Hadith) but since youre writing, i think im here to support you and share my mind in this case.
Dont worry, being guilty and regret what youve done is one small thing to start. At least you know and realized that it wasnt a something good to do. The other thing is, finding a way to slowly get away from it. Ive heard that if we can hold ourself from the desire, we can do fasting, or find anything to keep you busy, it could be an outdoor activities or going out more often.

In the end of this, I suggest you to discuss with someone whos compatible to answer this kind of situation. Forgive me, if this is not a wiseful answer. But I'm hoping youre all fine and try not to lose hope.

**Ahmed.** · 06-17-2019

This sin is very dangerous as it deseases the heart very severely and if you do some ibadah and refrain from this sin for a few days, then once you indulge in it again your heart goes back to 'square one' and ends up deseased as it was before, thus this sin just halts advancing beyond square one.

In Quran it says the only thing that will help on day of Judgement is a sound heart (qalb e saleem) thus in this context this sin just has a huge potential to lay all our ibadah to waste and land us in the fire

This is why you have to try your best to give it up.

Try to always keep busy and in a state of zikr, also when you're resting and find that maintaining zikr is hard and waswas can take over, this is the time when we are most vulnerable to this sin so in this circumstance I will suggest even a lesser sin such as busying yourself with entertainment such as a film or even music is better then allowing yourself to fall into this one... and InshAllah once you've beaten the urge to fall into this one, then you can stop or wean yourself of the lesser sins.

May Allah help us all ameen

**HisServant** · 06-18-2019

Originally Posted by anonymous

Brothers and sisters, I'm struggling bad. Every year it's the same story and I feel I will continue failing up until death comes to take my soul. Every year, I go through Ramadan with sincere intentions and I don't just look at it as if it is a ritual. Even to the one or two months leading up to Ramadan, I will prepare myself for it. As soon as it's over, I carry on with a specific sin that's been going on since I was young. Without getting too detailed, it involves looking at the haram and not guarding my private parts (not zina). As I said, this all started at a young age before the days of the internet and it's something I've been battling for a very long time. After being exposed to this stuff for so many years, there is no way I can remove it from my mind. I go through Ramadan with high hopes that I will kick the habit, but I come back to it just as bad, if not worse than before. I'll eventually get tired of it, stop for a short time, then pick it up again. I've done so much tawbah in the past and continually make dhikr. I can't even bring myself to cry anymore when I ask for forgiveness. I feel like the damage is irrepairable and my heart has been sealed. My level of hope and trust within myself is near zero. I have full trust in Allah, just not myself. I'm at the lowest level I've been in my life and I don't know what to do anymore.

Assalamu Alaikum,

" As soon as it's over.." That's the problem, isn't it. During Ramadan everything was made easier to do and now we have to struggle even moreso to fulfill obligations and strive harder against haram. Having this realization in mind and not knowing if we will be alive for the next Ramadan however can keep things in perspective.

Habits are difficult to break - I agree. Which is exactly why bad habits needed to be broken immediately and recreating new ones as steadfastly. There is so much evil and temptations even watching the news one can view things that will affect our eyes and soul in a disastrous way. The positive attitude is always recognizing help is needed but also never being hopeless when seeking that help.

We ought not put ourselves under temptations or such influences and then feel like we are strong enough to not sway. It's basically playing with fire.. hoping not to get burn. Since our souls are affected with our other external senses of hearing and seeing, included, the best approaches as we guard ourselves from eating haram, we also need to equally guard ourselves from viewing haram and hearing haram. Whenever we have taken all the precautions necessary, then slipping becomes human weakness based upon the influences surrounding us unwillingly.

Remember that there are always Angels recording us, our deeds i.e viewing bad things. Never be too despondent but immediately turn back in repentance, seek forgiveness and move on quickly to replace bad deeds with many more good deeds.

If we get ourselves so busily occupied with good deeds, to the point of exhaustion even, then that barely leaves room for bad deeds. The way our prophet Muhammad peace and blessings be upon him lived, his affairs of the days were dutiful in nature towards creation and at nights dutiful in nature towards the creator. That left no room for any secrets. So, get involved in dawah, charity, learning any new skills that will make you a better Muslim, a better human being and these are always on-going. Be so especially occupied that everything trivial and harmful has no place in your life. Insha'Allah

Of course, part of our human nature also is to have a spouse. So, know how to prepare and seek one for your requirements.

**Aaima zahid** · 06-18-2019

Originally Posted by anonymous

Brothers and sisters, I'm struggling bad. Every year it's the same story and I feel I will continue failing up until death comes to take my soul. Every year, I go through Ramadan with sincere intentions and I don't just look at it as if it is a ritual. Even to the one or two months leading up to Ramadan, I will prepare myself for it. As soon as it's over, I carry on with a specific sin that's been going on since I was young. Without getting too detailed, it involves looking at the haram and not guarding my private parts (not zina). As I said, this all started at a young age before the days of the internet and it's something I've been battling for a very long time. After being exposed to this stuff for so many years, there is no way I can remove it from my mind. I go through Ramadan with high hopes that I will kick the habit, but I come back to it just as bad, if not worse than before. I'll eventually get tired of it, stop for a short time, then pick it up again. I've done so much tawbah in the past and continually make dhikr. I can't even bring myself to cry anymore when I ask for forgiveness. I feel like the damage is irrepairable and my heart has been sealed. My level of hope and trust within myself is near zero. I have full trust in Allah, just not myself. I'm at the lowest level I've been in my life and I don't know what to do anymore.

Asslamoalikum,

A little advice for you to fast every month in every week for two-three times as it helps to prevent yourself in ramdam it will also help you in routine life too.

**HisServant** · 06-19-2019

Originally Posted by Aaima zahid

Asslamoalikum,

A little advice for you to fast every month in every week for two-three times as it helps to prevent yourself in ramdam it will also help you in routine life too.

Masha Allah, Much good has been said about intermittent fasting. I think that we are always meant to be in such a state (after Ramadan's compulsory fasting) starting with the 6 days of Shawwal fasting after Ramadan, and then prophetic fasting recommended on Mondays and Thursdays, also special days of fasting for Ashura etc as well as, Fasting during the 'white days' of the month.

**MazharShafiq** · 06-19-2019

Originally Posted by HisServant

Masha Allah, Much good has been said about intermittent fasting. I think that we are always meant to be in such a state (after Ramadan's compulsory fasting) starting with the 6 days of Shawwal fasting after Ramadan, and then prophetic fasting recommended on Mondays and Thursdays, also special days of fasting for Ashura etc as well as, Fasting during the 'white days' of the month.

yes it is very useful for get more reward.