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  1. #1
    Safah's Avatar
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    Masturbation & pornography after marriage

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    Asalaam mu alaikum wr wb
    I wanted to ask few questions to islamic scholars but didnt
    Got a platform to do so my question is me & my husband had
    Love marriage he loves me take cares of me alot nd fulfills
    A mywishes nd need but he is addicted to masturbation nd pornography
    It is not he lost interest in me its just he cant stop doing it. Iprovide myself
    To him all the time he needs me but he says he is tired nd does
    Those styff
    So is it okay in islam ? And how can i stop him ?

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    HisServant's Avatar
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    Re: Masturbation & pornography after marriage

    wa alaikum assalam wr wb,

    No, it's not okay. Tell him, he's accountable to Allah for whatever wrongful things he views, does and feels within his heart.


    "Zina (adultery, fornication) does not refer only to penetration, rather there is the zina of the hand, which is touching that which is forbidden, and the zina of the eyes, which is looking at that which is forbidden, even though zina that is committed with the private parts, is the zina which is punishable with the hadd punishment.

    It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Allaah has decreed for every son of Adam his share of zina, which he will inevitably commit. The zina of the eyes is looking, the zina of the tongue is speaking, one may wish and desire, and the private parts confirm that or deny it.”
    Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5889; Muslim, 2657.


    It is not permissible for the Muslim to long for the things that lead to zina, such as kissing, being alone, touching and looking, for all these things are haraam and lead to the greater evil which is zina.
    Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
    “And come not near to unlawful sex. Verily, it is a Faahishah (i.e. anything that transgresses its limits: a great sin, and an evil way that leads one to hell unless Allaah Forgives him)”
    [al-Isra’ 17:32]
    Looking at that which is forbidden is one of the arrows of the Shaytaan, which leads a person to doom, even if he did not do it intentionally at first. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
    “Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts). That is purer for them. Verily, Allaah is All‑Aware of what they do.
    And tell the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts)”
    [al-Noor 24:30-31]

    Think about how Allaah connects the issue of lowering the gaze with the issue of protecting the private parts (guarding one’s chastity) in these verses, and how lowering the gaze is mentioned first, before protecting the private parts, because the eye influences the heart.


    Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn Baaz (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
    In these two verses, Allaah commands the believing men and women to lower their gaze and guard their chastity, which is because of the serious nature of zina and what it leads to of great corruption among the Muslims. Letting one's gaze wander freely is one of the causes of sickness in the heart and the occurrence of immoral actions, whereas lowering the gaze is one of the means of keeping oneself safe from that. Hence Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):


    “Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts). That is purer for them. Verily, Allaah is All‑Aware of what they do.”

    [al-Noor 24:30]


    Lowering one’s gaze and guarding one’s chastity is purer for the believer in this world and in the Hereafter, whereas letting one’s gaze wander freely and not guarding one's chastity are among the greatest causes of doom and punishment in this world and in the Hereafter. We ask Allaah to keep us safe and sound.

    Allaah tells us that He is All-Aware of what people do, and that nothing is hidden from Him. This is a warning to the believer against doing that which Allaah has forbidden and turning away from that which Allaah has prescribed for him, and it is a reminder to him that Allaah sees him and knows all that he does, whether it is good or otherwise. As Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

    “Allaah knows the fraud of the eyes, and all that the breasts conceal”

    [Ghaafir 40:19]

    End quote. From al-Tabarruj wa Khataruhu. "

    Ruling on what leads to zina




    - - - Updated - - -
    Additionally:

    (1) Encourage leisurely times to be engaged in halal ventures....(hobbies, sports)
    (2) Increase the learning of Islam together as a couple...(Islamic classes, lectures)
    (3) Pray regularly on time, everyday, encourage reciting duas for protection
    (4) Listen to the Quran and recite regularly, discuss reminders & lessons to each other
    (5) Remind him often about death and our ultimate return to Allah, encourage him to discern his deeds which will take him further away from Jannah, Allah's love and His blessings in this world.
    Last edited by HisServant; 06-20-2019 at 11:51 PM.
    | Likes Safah, keiv liked this post
    Masturbation & pornography after marriage


  4. #3
    Safah's Avatar
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    Re: Masturbation & pornography after marriage

    Jazakh allah khair for the information
    Barak allahu feek
    Asalaam mu alaikum
    | Likes HisServant liked this post

  5. #4
    keiv's Avatar
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    Re: Masturbation & pornography after marriage

    Quote Originally Posted by HisServant View Post
    wa alaikum assalam wr wb,

    It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Allaah has decreed for every son of Adam his share of zina, which he will inevitably commit. The zina of the eyes is looking, the zina of the tongue is speaking, one may wish and desire, and the private parts confirm that or deny it.”
    Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5889; Muslim, 2657.
    Is there any explanation about the beginning part of that hadith? Is that just a way of saying all of mankind will commit some form of zina at some points in their life?

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    *charisma*'s Avatar
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    Re: Masturbation & pornography after marriage

    Assalamu Alaikum,

    Quote Originally Posted by keiv View Post
    Is there any explanation about the beginning part of that hadith? Is that just a way of saying all of mankind will commit some form of zina at some points in their life?
    Seems so since there are different levels of zina all which can lead up to actual fornication.


    Quote Originally Posted by Safah View Post
    Asalaam mu alaikum wr wb
    I wanted to ask few questions to islamic scholars but didnt
    Got a platform to do so my question is me & my husband had
    Love marriage he loves me take cares of me alot nd fulfills
    A mywishes nd need but he is addicted to masturbation nd pornography
    It is not he lost interest in me its just he cant stop doing it. Iprovide myself
    To him all the time he needs me but he says he is tired nd does
    Those styff
    So is it okay in islam ? And how can i stop him ?
    He's going to need to want to stop on his own. He should fast and understand the implications of his actions. He is married. He shouldn't be doing this.
    | Likes HisServant liked this post
    Masturbation & pornography after marriage

    D e a t h

    is the easiest
    of all things after it
    ; ;

    the hardest
    of all things before it

  8. #6
    Physicist's Avatar
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    Re: Masturbation & pornography after marriage

    He feel some stress/anxiety when with wife. May be some emotional tenses, may be worries about how he performs.
    He need to get relaxed and be able to focus on his own feelings. Then he will lost interest to masturbation and pornography.

  9. #7
    Nitro Zeus's Avatar
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    Re: Masturbation & pornography after marriage

    Quote Originally Posted by HisServant View Post
    wa alaikum assalam wr wb,

    No, it's not okay. Tell him, he's accountable to Allah for whatever wrongful things he views, does and feels within his heart.


    "Zina (adultery, fornication) does not refer only to penetration, rather there is the zina of the hand, which is touching that which is forbidden, and the zina of the eyes, which is looking at that which is forbidden, even though zina that is committed with the private parts, is the zina which is punishable with the hadd punishment.

    It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Allaah has decreed for every son of Adam his share of zina, which he will inevitably commit. The zina of the eyes is looking, the zina of the tongue is speaking, one may wish and desire, and the private parts confirm that or deny it.”
    Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5889; Muslim, 2657.


    It is not permissible for the Muslim to long for the things that lead to zina, such as kissing, being alone, touching and looking, for all these things are haraam and lead to the greater evil which is zina.
    Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
    “And come not near to unlawful sex. Verily, it is a Faahishah (i.e. anything that transgresses its limits: a great sin, and an evil way that leads one to hell unless Allaah Forgives him)”
    [al-Isra’ 17:32]
    Looking at that which is forbidden is one of the arrows of the Shaytaan, which leads a person to doom, even if he did not do it intentionally at first. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
    “Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts). That is purer for them. Verily, Allaah is All‑Aware of what they do.
    And tell the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts)”
    [al-Noor 24:30-31]

    Think about how Allaah connects the issue of lowering the gaze with the issue of protecting the private parts (guarding one’s chastity) in these verses, and how lowering the gaze is mentioned first, before protecting the private parts, because the eye influences the heart.


    Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn Baaz (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
    In these two verses, Allaah commands the believing men and women to lower their gaze and guard their chastity, which is because of the serious nature of zina and what it leads to of great corruption among the Muslims. Letting one's gaze wander freely is one of the causes of sickness in the heart and the occurrence of immoral actions, whereas lowering the gaze is one of the means of keeping oneself safe from that. Hence Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):


    “Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts). That is purer for them. Verily, Allaah is All‑Aware of what they do.”

    [al-Noor 24:30]


    Lowering one’s gaze and guarding one’s chastity is purer for the believer in this world and in the Hereafter, whereas letting one’s gaze wander freely and not guarding one's chastity are among the greatest causes of doom and punishment in this world and in the Hereafter. We ask Allaah to keep us safe and sound.

    Allaah tells us that He is All-Aware of what people do, and that nothing is hidden from Him. This is a warning to the believer against doing that which Allaah has forbidden and turning away from that which Allaah has prescribed for him, and it is a reminder to him that Allaah sees him and knows all that he does, whether it is good or otherwise. As Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

    “Allaah knows the fraud of the eyes, and all that the breasts conceal”

    [Ghaafir 40:19]

    End quote. From al-Tabarruj wa Khataruhu. "

    Ruling on what leads to zina




    - - - Updated - - -
    Additionally:

    (1) Encourage leisurely times to be engaged in halal ventures....(hobbies, sports)
    (2) Increase the learning of Islam together as a couple...(Islamic classes, lectures)
    (3) Pray regularly on time, everyday, encourage reciting duas for protection
    (4) Listen to the Quran and recite regularly, discuss reminders & lessons to each other
    (5) Remind him often about death and our ultimate return to Allah, encourage him to discern his deeds which will take him further away from Jannah, Allah's love and His blessings in this world.
    But what if that person has control to the point where he can watch that thing, but in the same time he does not come close to Zina? Would that be ok so as long as he does not commit Zina?

  10. #8
    keiv's Avatar
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    Re: Masturbation & pornography after marriage

    Quote Originally Posted by Nitro Zeus View Post
    But what if that person has control to the point where he can watch that thing, but in the same time he does not come close to Zina? Would that be ok so as long as he does not commit Zina?
    Based on the post, that would be "zina of the eyes".
    | Likes HisServant liked this post

  11. #9
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    Re: Masturbation & pornography after marriage

    Quote Originally Posted by Safah View Post
    Asalaam mu alaikum wr wb
    I wanted to ask few questions to islamic scholars but didnt
    Got a platform to do so my question is me & my husband had
    Love marriage he loves me take cares of me alot nd fulfills
    A mywishes nd need but he is addicted to masturbation nd pornography
    It is not he lost interest in me its just he cant stop doing it. Iprovide myself
    To him all the time he needs me but he says he is tired nd does
    Those styff
    So is it okay in islam ? And how can i stop him ?
    Salaam Sister Safah,

    Because you are asking this question, I believe that implies you are not okay with what he is doing, which is understandable. Remember that communication is key in marriage and you need to sit down with one and talk about this problem right away, this will be the best way to stop him. Please have your husband read the following from
    https://islamqa.info/en/answers/329/ruling-on-masturbation-and-how-to-cure-the-problem


    As for curing the habit of masturbation, we recommend the following suggestions:

    1) The motive to seek a cure for this problem should be solely following Allaahs orders and fearing His punishment.

    2) A permanent and quick cure from this problem lies in marriage as soon as the person is able, as shown in the Prophets hadeeth.

    3) Keeping oneself busy with what is good for this world and the hereafter is essential in breaking this habit before it becomes second nature after which it is very difficult to rid oneself of it.

    4) Lowering the gaze (from looking at forbidden things such as pictures, movies etc.) will help suppress the desire before it leads one to commit the haraam (forbidden). Allaah orders men and women to lower their gaze as shown in the following two verses and in the Prophets hadeeth (interpretations of the meanings): "Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things) and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc.). That is purer for them. Verily, Allah is all-aware of what they do. And tell the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things) and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc.) ..... " 24.30-31 Allaahs messenger said: "Do not follow a casual (unintentional) look (at forbidden things) with another look." Al-Tirmidhi 2777. This is a general instruction by the Prophet to abstain from all that may sexually excite a person because it might lead him/her to commit the haraam (forbidden).

    5) Using ones available leisure time in worshipping Allaah and increasing religious knowledge.

    6) Being cautious not to develop any of the medical symptoms that may result from masturbation such as weak eyesight, weak nervous system, and/or back pain. More importantly, feeling of guilt and anxiety that can be complicated by missing obligatory prayers because of the need to shower (ghusl) after every incidence of masturbation.

    7) Avoiding the illusion that some youth have that masturbation is permissible because it prevents them from committing illegal sexual acts such as fornication or even homosexuality.

    8) Strengthening ones willpower and avoiding spending time alone as recommended by the Prophet when he said "Do not spend the night alone" Ahmad 6919.

    9) Following the Prophets aforementioned hadeeth and fast when possible, because fasting will temper ones sexual desire and keep it under control. However, one should not overreact and swear by Allaah not to return to the act because if one does not honor ones promise, one would be facing the consequences of not living up to ones oath to Allaah. Also, note that medication to diminish ones sexual desire is strictly prohibited because it might permanently affect ones sexual ability.

    10) Trying to follow the Prophets recommendation concerning the etiquette of getting ready for bed, such as reading well-known supplications, sleeping on the right side, and avoiding sleeping on the belly (the Prophet forbade sleeping on the belly).

    11) Striving hard to be patient and chaste, because persistence will eventually, Allaah willing, lead to attaining those qualities as second nature, as the Prophet explains in the following hadeeth:

    "Whoever seeks chastity Allaah will make him chaste, and whoever seeks help from none but Allaah, He will help him, and whoever is patient He will make it easy for him, and no one has ever been given anything better than patience." Bukhari:1469.

    12) Repenting, asking forgiveness from Allaah, doing good deeds, and not losing hope and feeling despair are all prerequisites to curing this problem. Note that losing hope is one of the major sins punishable by Allaah. 13) Finally, Allaah is the Most Merciful and He always responds to whoever calls on Him. So, asking for Allahs forgiveness will be accepted, by His will. Wallahu alam. And Allah knows what is best and most correct.
    | Likes HisServant, keiv liked this post

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    HisServant's Avatar
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    Re: Masturbation & pornography after marriage

    Quote Originally Posted by *charisma* View Post
    Assalamu Alaikum,



    Seems so since there are different levels of zina all which can lead up to actual fornication.

    He's going to need to want to stop on his own. He should fast and understand the implications of his actions. He is married. He shouldn't be doing this.
    JazaakAllahu khair, there is so much wisdom in the preventative measures that are recommended. (lowering the gaze, guarding speech with proper interactions, correctly dressing etc)

    May Allah make it easy for us all to be successful. Ameen.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by Nitro Zeus View Post
    But what if that person has control to the point where he can watch that thing, but in the same time he does not come close to Zina? Would that be ok so as long as he does not commit Zina?
    Generally, we need to make the required efforts to protect our souls from harms. And protecting ourselves from those things which can lead to harmful matters will not only secure against committing the actual harm but also safeguard the eyes and protect the light within our hearts (since that light is affected by whatever rightful or wrongful actions our senses engage in).

    Whatever happened unknowingly and forgetfully, repenting with a sincere resolve not to come close to such wrongs again would be recommended. Whatever occurred unwillingly or accidentally then obviously there is no sin but avoidance and protective measures are required.

    "Allah is the Light of the heavens and the earth. The parable of His Light is as a niche and within it a lamp: the lamp is in a glass, the glass as it were a star Durriyyun, lit from a blessed tree, an olive, neither of the east nor of the west, whose oil would almost glow forth, though no fire touched it. Light upon Light! Allah guides to His Light whom He wills. And Allah sets forth parables for mankind, and Allah is All-Knower of everything."

    - Surah An Nur ayah 35

    "(The parable of His Light) There are two views concerning the meaning of the pronoun (His). The first is that it refers to Allah, may He be glorified and exalted, meaning that the parable of His guidance in the heart of the believer is as a niche) This was the view of Ibn `Abbas. The second view is that the pronoun refers to the believer, which is indicated by the context of the words and implies that the parable of the light in the heart of the believer is as a niche. So the heart of the believer and what he is naturally inclined to of guidance and what he learns of the Qur'an which is in accordance with his natural inclinations are, as Allah says:
    (Can they who rely on a clear proof from their Lord, and whom a witness from Him recites it (can they be equal with the disbelievers)) (11:17). The heart of the believer in its purity and clarity is likened to a lamp in transparent and jewel-like glass, and the Qur'an and Shari`ah by which it is guided are likened to good, pure, shining oil in which there is no impurity or deviation."

    - Tafsir Ibn Kathir
    Last edited by HisServant; 06-25-2019 at 04:51 AM.
    Masturbation & pornography after marriage


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    Ahmed.'s Avatar
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    Re: Masturbation & pornography after marriage

    All you can do really is try to instil the fear of Allah in him by telling him he'll be headed to hell if he don't stop this wicked satanic practice.

    Pornography is addictive and unless he seriously tries hard to give it up and strives hard to do so I'm afraid you'll probably be stuck with this problem for a long time to come

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    Physicist's Avatar
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    Re: Masturbation & pornography after marriage

    Stop judging him already.
    Look a the situation from the other point.

    It's minor problem inside the couple.
    I guess there are some tensions in relations, enough to make husband such stressful that he resorted to old bad habit.
    His wife made this issue public to ashame him and only increased stress.
    I'm sure he can also find flaws in her and discuss in public.
    That's not a family but battleground.

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    Re: Masturbation & pornography after marriage

    Ironically, in the past, I've seen many threads where people posted issues about lowering the gaze, temptations, masturbation, etc. and the common answer from other Muslims is to get married. Unfortunately, marriage isn't some type of miracle cure for these issues as most would like to think. First, if someone has a perverted mentality, they need to fix themselves BEFORE getting married. If they bring that type of behavior into a marriage, not only will they be ruining their own lives, but the lives of their spouses and possibly kids. On the flip side of that, if someone who doesn't have those types of tendencies falls into that trap after getting married, then the couple needs to find what triggered that to happen since that wouldn't be a normal thing for that person to do. Other than the getting married part, the suggestions from Iceee pretty much sum up the list of things to do.

    This type of addiction is very hard for a lot of people because of it's convenience. It's not like smoking or drinking where it is easily recognized by other people. This is something that can be done in secret just about anywhere with the technology we have. Not only that, but the way it is advertised, the way people dress, the way people act, etc. make it even harder for such people who want to quit.

    May Allah make it easy on both of you and the rest of us to stay away from such things, and for those who have been hit by it, may Allah give us the strength to stay away from such tendencies.
    | Likes Aaima zahid liked this post

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    Re: Masturbation & pornography after marriage

    All Muslims should find out first before marraige if their potential spouse has a pornography addiction and not marry him/her if they do as this addiction is hard to give up and you'll basically be marrying a deseased hypocryt

    Sorry OP not meaning to malign your hubby but just warning others about falling into same trap


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