Some of you already know me and my family are undergoing trials for some time now. Its come to a point where our property is being damaged criminally. I used have a mindset of 'fear nothing but Allah swt'. Due to recent events it's made me angry with urges to retaliate, however I was stopped by a elder and was told to 'fear Allah swt AND those who do not fear Allah swt' as they will not think twice when they inflict crime and damage upon you and anything associated with you whether object or human.
What does the Quran and Sunnah teach us?
Fear Allah swt only
Or
Fear Allah swt AND those who disbelieve as they have no limits to how low they can stoop.
This world gets worse as we get older, leaving us to ponder and wonder about human behaviour that has existed since the beginning of time......
Jazak Allah in advance for your thoughts and responses.
Yes I thought I was being tested and i would always ask why such unbearable tests?
I acknowledge that my sins are being expiated, but how bad are my sins I ask? My whole family perservere on trying to stay on a righteous path, yes mistakes can be made and we are doing istigfar, but for me and my family to go through this form of victimisation leaves me all confused, the physical terror acts against my family are racking up quite quick over the past 6 months, the baddies sit there like untouchable while they watch us suffer.
What kind of concessions were you thinking?
They want me to accept all blame, give alimony/compensation and give talaaq, they are trying to spread rumours in the community and intimidate us physically as well as using the child as a weapon.
Brother, in this situation you can do 2 things, 1. Fight, but I think you don't have enough man power or resources (such as money to move your family to a safe house) to do that so that will be the risky option.
The second thing is, really go all 'sufi Muslim' and be super humble and one way of doing that is to accept all blame and if that leads to you forking out extra money in divorce court as compensation to your ex, then it's still going to go to the mother of your child isn't it? And giving some more money won't make you any poorer as you're going to get what's in your taqdir anyway
It doesn't matter if your not to blame or not ALL to blame as this will be like a plea bargain in court where a defendant is innocent but the odds are stacked up against him so he accepts blame and gets lower sentence then pleading not guilty and then getting a higher sentence. The benefit in that is, if a person considers it as Allah's will and remains happy with it, that's 1 benefit and the second benefit is being totally free of riya, I. E, not caring whether people think you're guilty or not as Allah knows the truth and thats all you care about.
Or try to come to some compromise where the blame is accepted half/half by you and your ex. I'm sure those idiots (your inlaws) will relent somewhat if you send elders round to talk for a 'settlement' to this saga and for a cessation of the harrassment
OK now brother ill put a question to you. Do you think if you or any of your adult family member dies (may Allah give you all long life amin) that there is a chance Allah could put you or them in hell? There is that chance as thats part of our faith that we can never be sure where we'll end up, so if Allah could put us in the terrible hellfire then we can accept whatever calamity befalls us on earth (even though we might be of wali Allah standards) as a punishment too from Allah. This is real humbleness. Real selflessness, to think you're very bad worthy of punishment.
You shouldn't hold back on giving her the 3 talaqs as taqwa necessitates that. If she falls into sin (zina) because she cannot get married again due to you not giving her talaq then you will be to blame too brother so this one you should do despite what might happen in court
Last edited by Abu-Abdullah; 12-23-2019 at 08:57 AM.
Assalam o Alaikum rahamutullahi wa barakuthu brother.
Hopefully you and your family will be OK in sha Allah.
Why are the police responding slowly? Can you go to their office and complain to the officer?
May Allah, who is Most Just, help you, and grant u strength and justice against ur oppressor, Amen.
Police here in the UK are very slow and are acting on priorities, must be something to do with reduced officers and uk budget cuts over the years. I follow up at least once every week and get responses like "still being looked into" etc.
We have the following choices I feel
1. Retaliate
2. Try n Seek peace(which I've tried to do) which may encourage them to do more
3. End marriage at any cost I.e. give talaaq
4. Give up child but still make maintenance payments.
5. Sit back and continue to sustain damages and terror acts and worry about our family members and property.
Police here in the UK are very slow and are acting on priorities, must be something to do with reduced officers and uk budget cuts over the years. I follow up at least once every week and get responses like "still being looked into" etc.
We have the following choices I feel
1. Retaliate
2. Try n Seek peace(which I've tried to do) which may encourage them to do more
3. End marriage at any cost I.e. give talaaq
4. Give up child but still make maintenance payments.
5. Sit back and continue to sustain damages and terror acts and worry about our family members and property.
Assalam o alaikum rahamutullahi wa barkauthu.
Perform istikhara. it is very useful. Allah will help and guide you in sha Allah.
You shouldn't hold back on giving her the 3 talaqs as taqwa necessitates that. If she falls into sin (zina) because she cannot get married again due to you not giving her talaq then you will be to blame too brother so this one you should do despite what might happen in court
لا حول ولا قوة الا بالله
Nobody should be telling another person via an internet forum to get a divorce. Marital affairs, whether they're between a husband and wife, in-laws or someone else, is an extremely sensitive issue that must be dealt with using knowledge of complete circumstances, knowledge of how to deal with marital affairs and an awareness of the consequences of the advice given. Having knowledge of the situation also means involving the person against whom accusations are made (i.e. if the husband is accusing the wife of something, the wife should be present to address points made against her). It means drawing a complete picture of the events, situations and circumstances that have occurred in the past in order to give the best advice that is tailored for their circumstances.
Let this be very clear: We are in absolutely no position to be telling people to get divorced. Stop treating this like a game. Fear Allah سبحانه وتعلى. People with marital problems should go to Imams, Islamic councilors or Islamic Sharia Councils. These places are set up with the right people and set up to deal with these situations. We could face a severe punishment on the Day of Judgement for misleading people and potentially destroying their married lives.
Nobody should be telling another person via an internet forum to get a divorce. Marital affairs, whether they're between a husband and wife, in-laws or someone else, is an extremely sensitive issue that must be dealt with using knowledge of complete circumstances, knowledge of how to deal with marital affairs and an awareness of the consequences of the advice given. Having knowledge of the situation also means involving the person against whom accusations are made (i.e. if the husband is accusing the wife of something, the wife should be present to address points made against her). It means drawing a complete picture of the events, situations and circumstances that have occurred in the past in order to give the best advice that is tailored for their circumstances.
Let this be very clear: We are in absolutely no position to be telling people to get divorced. Stop treating this like a game. Fear Allah سبحانه وتعلى. People with marital problems should go to Imams, Islamic councilors or Islamic Sharia Councils. These places are set up with the right people and set up to deal with these situations. We could face a severe punishment on the Day of Judgement for misleading people and potentially destroying their married lives.
Assalam o Alaikum rahamutullahi wa barakuthu.
that's right, the most hated halal thing by Allah is divorce. it's such serious matter. Marriage is a beauitful sunnah, unfortunably there are so many couples who cannot live their married life properly, while there could be ways to solve the problems by will of Allah.
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