ٱلسَّلَامُ عَلَيْكُمْ
Ever since 2008 or 2009 I became friends with someone through playing sports
Back then I was more "religious" well I thought I was lol but yea I met this
Brother after playing some sport and at the end of the game we properly introduced
Each other and I gave him dawah about the shortness of this life and the vastness of the hear after and so on, alhumdulilah he listened well and ever since then we became
Good friends and we use to. Meet almost every week, go to musjid pray salahs and
Play sports after and coffee and so on and its been almost 10yrs, although in 2010
I had to go back home short while and i came back we were still good friends
And then 6yrs ago I met this new brother(which I wish I never did) at the mosque he was cool and all but he had one big problem (jealousy), this guy would get jealous of the smallest things and I was dumb enough to let him meet my "best friend" and just after 1yr of them hanging out with or without me, this new guy started problems between me
And my best friend and we didn't talk for 6months now and yesterday I realized
My so called best friend blocked me on Facebook and deleted me on whatsapp
Without any warnings or reasons now I have grudge against him how do I stop and fix our friendship again??
You can try talking to your friend in person. Otherwise if he doesn't want you in his life anymore then just respect that and move on. Sometimes we have to just realize that people come and go. They are in our lives for a reason, and when that reason is over then the relationship changes. I also suggest reciting morning and evening supplications which will protect you from the effects of envious people. https://www.searchtruth.com/dua/1/
ٱلسَّلَامُ عَلَيْكُمْ
Ever since 2008 or 2009 I became friends with someone through playing sports
Back then I was more "religious" well I thought I was lol but yea I met this
Brother after playing some sport and at the end of the game we properly introduced
Each other and I gave him dawah about the shortness of this life and the vastness of the hear after and so on, alhumdulilah he listened well and ever since then we became
Good friends and we use to. Meet almost every week, go to musjid pray salahs and
Play sports after and coffee and so on and its been almost 10yrs, although in 2010
I had to go back home short while and i came back we were still good friends
And then 6yrs ago I met this new brother(which I wish I never did) at the mosque he was cool and all but he had one big problem (jealousy), this guy would get jealous of the smallest things and I was dumb enough to let him meet my "best friend" and just after 1yr of them hanging out with or without me, this new guy started problems between me
And my best friend and we didn't talk for 6months now and yesterday I realized
My so called best friend blocked me on Facebook and deleted me on whatsapp
Without any warnings or reasons
Assalam O Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuh Brother,
Welcome to the forum.
Brother, people come and go in our life. When we come into this world, we come alone. we may be lucky to have parents and siblings but over time we may leave them. We may make friends in our life span, some may stick with us and others may get busy in their own life. We may get married and have kids, they will grow and leave us one day. And the cycle goes on. When we die, we leave the world alone just like we came into this world alone and empty handed. Throughout this life cycle, only being who will be with us through out our journey is Allah Subhanahu Wa Taala. Love and friendship of Allah Subhanahu Wa Taala should be the basis of every relationship with everyone. Make dua to Allah Subhanahu Wa Taala that may Allah give you good and pious friends in this life who can constantly remind you of the life Hereafter. Ameen!
Also realize that your friend may have got married. He may have more responsibilities and may not be able to give you more time. Find any excuse you can to overlook and forgive.
format_quote Originally Posted by SilentPain
now I have grudge against him how do I stop
You may have heard that harboring grudges is like drinking poison and wishing for other person to die. That's how silly it is. I am sure you may have heard the following hadiths, but it is always good to remind each other.
On the authority of Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him), who said that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: The gates of Paradise will be opened on Mondays and on Thursdays, and every servant [of Allah] who associates nothing with Allah will be forgiven, except for the man who has a grudge against his brother. [About them] it will be said: Delay these two until they are reconciled; delay these two until they are reconciled.
It was related by Muslim (also by Malik and Abu Dawud).
عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُ ،أَنَّ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ قَالَ:
" تُفْتَحُ أَبْوَابُ الْجَنَّةِ يَوْمَ الِاثْنَيْنِ، وَيَوْمَ الْخَمِيسِ، فَيُغْفَرُ لِكُلِّ عَبْدٍ لَا يُشْرِكُ بِاللَّهِ شَيْئًا، إِلَّا رَجُلًا كَانَتْ بَيْنَهُ وَبَيْنَ أَخِيهِ شَحْنَاءُ، فَيُقَالُ: (1) أَنْظِرُوا (2) هَذَيْنِ حَتَّى يَصْطَلِحَا، أَنْظِرُوا هَذَيْنِ حَتَّى يَصْطَلِحَا، أَنْظِرُوا هَذَيْنِ حَتَّى يَصْطَلِحَا"
رواه مسلم (وكذلك مالك وأبو داود)
Arabic/English book reference: Hadith 20
Anas bin Malik (May Allah be pleased with him) said: The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "Do not harbour grudge against one another, nor jealousy, nor enmity; and do not show your backs to one another; and become as fellow brothers and slaves of Allah. It is not lawful for a Muslim to avoid speaking with his brother beyond three days."
[Al- Bukhari and Muslim].
وعن أنس رضي الله عنه أن النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم قال: "لا تباغضوا، ولا تحاسدوا ولا تدابروا، ولا تقاطعوا، وكونوا عباد الله إخوانًا، ولا يحل لمسلم أن يهجر أخاه فوق ثلاث" ((متفق عليه)).
Sunnah.com reference: Book 18, Hadith 57
Arabic/English book reference: Book 18, Hadith 1567
https://sunnah.com/riyadussaliheen/18/57
The purpose of mentioning these hadiths is just to show that having grudges for fellow Muslims is forbidden in Islam. Instead we should make dua and forgive everyone before going to sleep, this include all those who oppress us or harm us. Try this out and trust me you will feel much better. As I mentioned earlier, nursing grudges is like drinking poison which will only harm us. It is a disease which eats away all of our good deeds and takes away peace and happiness from our lives.
format_quote Originally Posted by SilentPain
fix our friendship again??
Do you and your friend still go to mosque?
Say Salam to him whenever you see him.
Greet him with smile.
Send him gifts if you know his address.
Have a direct conversation with him, ask him if there is any misunderstand.
Tell him that you love him only for the sake of Allah Subhanahu Wa Taala.
And most importantly make dua for him and for yourself.
If he still wants to keep the distance, then respect that and move on. You can continue to greet him with smile and continue to welcome him with an open heart whenever he reaches you out for help.
I hope you find this advice helpful. And only Allah knows what's best for us!
Ma'aSalam
jazakAllah khair, i found out throw my other friend that, the reason why he blocked me from every social media, was because
he thought ihad blocked him which i didnt but it seemed like because i recently changed my number and also had my facebook
deactivated as i was spending too much time on it..so jazakAllah khair for your replies im reading it but need some time
and no we still didnt talk to eachother yet...i just let it be the way it is..if he comes back he does if not i dont really need him.
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