I'm in a haram relationship but I can't get out

Wa alaykum salam,

Option 2.

Yes, Allah will forgive you. Simply because what you are doing atm is haram and you will have actively taken a step to removing yourself from doing haram. If this man hurts himself, that is not on you and you shouldn't feel guilty in the court of Allah. From a human perspective, since you have been with him so long, it will be natural that you feel some element of guilt but that should not consume you since deep down, you know you are doing the right thing by leaving him. This is a less obvious and devious tactic by the shaytan to make you continue in haram, making you feel guilty as though Allah will not forgive you for leaving him when in fact, Allah wants you to definitely leave him.

Also, he is emotionally keeping you captive by threatening to harm himself. The sooner you leave out of his grasp, the better it will be for you.

Asslam O Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuh Sister,

Mr. right would not distract & distance you from Allah, if he distances you from Allah then he's Mr. Wrong.

On Paper option-2 makes most sense. But none of us know the future and your boy friend. An alternate is to give him 6-12 months time frame. If he can change himself and be a practicing Muslim then he should contact your Wali to ask for your hand. During this time frame, you guys should not meet or talk to each other. It is just a suggestion, and only Allah knows if he will change or not.

Ma'aSalam

An alternate is to give him 6-12 months time frame. If he can change himself and be a practicing Muslim then he should contact your Wali to ask for your hand. During this time frame, you guys should not meet or talk to each other.

I disagree. Sitting around hoping for change is not going to work and will embed her in needlessly. Allah has given her clarity of thought at this precise moment in time. Perhaps, if she stays with him in 'hope' that he will change, she will end up losing this clarity and shaytan will misguide her.

Just end it and move on.

format_quote Originally Posted by Alpha Dude

I disagree. Sitting around hoping for change is not going to work and will embed her in needlessly. Allah has given her clarity of thought at this precise moment in time. Perhaps, if she stays with him in 'hope' that he will change, she will end up losing this clarity and shaytan will misguide her.

Just end it and move on.

I was just giving another option which was middle path of the two options she put forth. She knows the guy better than I do and may be she already knows that he is not going to change and hence the reason she did not even consider this as a viable option. Anyways, I don't disagree with you. Thanks for a good advice, I am sure it is easy said than done.
May Allah give her strength to forget her past and move on. Ameen!

Ma'aSalam

Give the brother a chance...if he doesn't change then ur conscience can rest easy. Tell him if he is sincere he will ask ur hand in marriage and make it halal. He also need to change his attitude. If he doesn't then leave and you need not worry. I only say this because everyone deserves a chance and just because you realize what you are doing is haram, you should not leave someone and assume the person themselve is haram as an excuse to marry someone else. If it does not work out then do as you will.

If you really care about him and want to live ur whole life with him, then tell him your on the verge of practising him and you want him to practise too as your looking to marry someone who’s on their deen and help u towards Allah. However, if he says yeah okay then stay with him, but if he says no then tell him for the sake of Allah ur leaving, in this way uve given him an option and if u do leave then ur doing it for Allah. Trust me I know how u feel so don’t think your alone and if you ever wanna talk or need advice or anything, then you can always message me