× Register Login What's New! Contact us
Results 1 to 10 of 10 visibility 1744

Islamic Version of Mentoring

  1. #1
    hisnameiszzz's Avatar Full Member
    brightness_1
    IB Senior Member
    star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    Location
    Up North, UK
    Gender
    Male
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    770
    Threads
    93
    Rep Power
    61
    Rep Ratio
    51
    Likes Ratio
    60

    Islamic Version of Mentoring

    Report bad ads?

    Hi all,

    I was wondering if there was an Islamic version of, not exactly confession as such, but an Imam or an Aalim who you could sit down and have chats with like once a week or once a month? Like give them an update on how life is going and they give you another person's perspective from a religious point of view?

    In the past, I have attempted this with the Imam's in my Mosque but either they are too busy, cba or just say "pray your 5 a day".

    Thanks to anyone who might be able to help.

    Zzz
    Last edited by hisnameiszzz; 01-31-2020 at 04:32 PM. Reason: Confession was the wrong wording
    chat Quote

  2. Report bad ads?
  3. #2
    *charisma*'s Avatar Super Moderator
    brightness_1
    #AlwaysInMyDuas
    star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    I am a traveler, May Jannah be my home ameen
    Gender
    Female
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    5,085
    Threads
    200
    Rep Power
    146
    Rep Ratio
    102
    Likes Ratio
    61

    Re: Islamic Version of Confession

    Assalamu Alaikum

    Sounds like something you should try with a group of good friends.
    | Likes hisnameiszzz liked this post
    Islamic Version of Mentoring

    D e a t h

    is the easiest
    of all things after it
    ; ;

    the hardest
    of all things before it
    chat Quote

  4. #3
    Ümit's Avatar Full Member
    brightness_1
    IB Oldtimer
    star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate
    Join Date
    Oct 2017
    Location
    Germany
    Gender
    Male
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    1,226
    Threads
    12
    Rep Power
    43
    Rep Ratio
    45
    Likes Ratio
    57

    Re: Islamic Version of Confession

    format_quote Originally Posted by hisnameiszzz View Post
    Hi all,

    I was wondering if there was an Islamic version of, not exactly confession as such, but an Imam or an Aalim who you could sit down and have chats with like once a week or once a month? Like give them an update on how life is going and they give you another person's perspective from a religious point of view?

    In the past, I have attempted this with the Imam's in my Mosque but either they are too busy, cba or just say "pray your 5 a day".

    Thanks to anyone who might be able to help.

    Zzz
    if you are doing this to imitate christians...then don't...
    i bet the poor imam didn't know that your true purpose was to confess in the way christians do...glad they turned you down anyways though...Allah didn't let that happen appearantly...
    | Likes hisnameiszzz liked this post
    chat Quote

  5. #4
    'Abdullah's Avatar Full Member
    brightness_1
    Layman
    star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate
    Join Date
    Jul 2019
    Gender
    Male
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    1,674
    Threads
    54
    Rep Power
    31
    Rep Ratio
    15
    Likes Ratio
    36

    Re: Islamic Version of Confession

    Assalam O Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuh,

    I may have misunderstood your question but when I hear confession, only thing comes to mind is exposing your dark side to someone to seek advice. That's the concept only found in Christianity and in Sufi culture probably but it has no basis in Islam.

    Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported:
    Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said, "Every one of my followers will be forgiven except those who expose (openly) their wrongdoings. An example of this is that of a man who commits a sin at night which Allah has covered for him, and in the morning, he would say (to people): "I committed such and such sin last night,' while Allah had kept it a secret. During the night Allah has covered it up but in the morning he tears up the cover provided by Allah Himself."

    [Al-Bukhari and Muslim].
    وعنه قال‏:‏ سمعت رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم يقول‏:‏ ‏ "‏كل أمتي معافًى إلا المجاهرين، وإن من المجاهرة أن يعمل الرجل بالليل عملاً، ثم يصبح وقد ستره الله عليه فيقول‏:‏ يا فلان عملت البارحة كذا وكذا، وقد بات يستره ربه، ويصبح يكشف ستر الله عنه‏"‏ ‏(‏‏(‏متفق عليه‏)‏‏)‏ ‏.‏
    Arabic/English book reference: Book 1, Hadith 241
    https://sunnah.com/muslim/5/164

    In another hadith: Abu Huraira reported Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) as saying:
    All the people of my Ummah would get pardon for their sins except those who publicize them. And (it means) that a servant should do a deed during the night and tell the people in the morning that he has done so and so, whereas Allah has concealed it. And he does a deed during the day and when it is night he tells the people, whereas Allah has concealed it. Zuhair has used the word hijar for publicizing.

    حَدَّثَنِي زُهَيْرُ بْنُ حَرْبٍ، وَمُحَمَّدُ بْنُ حَاتِمٍ، وَعَبْدُ بْنُ حُمَيْدٍ، قَالَ عَبْدٌ حَدَّثَنِي وَقَالَ، الآخَرَانِ حَدَّثَنَا يَعْقُوبُ بْنُ إِبْرَاهِيمَ، حَدَّثَنَا ابْنُ أَخِي ابْنِ شِهَابٍ، عَنْ عَمِّهِ، قَالَ قَالَ سَالِمٌ سَمِعْتُ أَبَا هُرَيْرَةَ، يَقُولُ سَمِعْتُ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم يَقُولُ ‏"‏ كُلُّ أُمَّتِي مُعَافَاةٌ إِلاَّ الْمُجَاهِرِينَ وَإِنَّ مِنَ الإِجْهَارِ أَنْ يَعْمَلَ الْعَبْدُ بِاللَّيْلِ عَمَلاً ثُمَّ يُصْبِحُ قَدْ سَتَرَهُ رَبُّهُ فَيَقُولُ يَا فُلاَنُ قَدْ عَمِلْتُ الْبَارِحَةَ كَذَا وَكَذَا وَقَدْ بَاتَ يَسْتُرُهُ رَبُّهُ فَيَبِيتُ يَسْتُرُهُ رَبُّهُ وَيُصْبِحُ يَكْشِفُ سِتْرَ اللَّهِ عَنْهُ ‏"‏ ‏.‏ قَالَ زُهَيْرٌ ‏"‏ وَإِنَّ مِنَ الْهِجَارِ ‏"‏ ‏.‏
    Reference: Sahih Muslim 2990
    In-book reference: Book 55, Hadith 68
    USC-MSA web (English) reference: Book 42, Hadith 7124
    https://sunnah.com/muslim/55/68

    Whatever we do is between us and Allah Subhanahu Wa Taa'la. Don't expose your sins if you want those to be kept in secret in hereafter. If you do want to confess then confess to the One Who can forgive you and that is only Allah Subhanahu Wa Taala.
    Muslims are also supposed to cover not only their sins but the faults of others because according to several hadiths
    "Whosoever covers (the sins of) a Muslim, Allah covers (his sins) on the Day of Judgment."
    If we find it too difficult to keep it secret, the most we are allowed to do is discuss the issue with the person, in private, and try to encourage them to stop committing the sin(s).
    The only exception to this is if we find out that someone has committed an actual crime that has left someone injured (emotionally, physically and including sexual abuse) or killed, or in which something was stolen or someone was denied something to which they were entitled to. In these cases, we MUST make the information public so that the person is brought to justice.
    And Allah knows the best!

    Ma'aSalaam
    Last edited by 'Abdullah; 01-30-2020 at 10:10 PM.
    | Likes Ümit, hisnameiszzz liked this post
    chat Quote

  6. Report bad ads?
  7. #5
    Scimitar's Avatar Full Member
    brightness_1
    DAWAH DIGITAL
    star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    DAWAH DIGITAL HQ
    Gender
    Male
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    7,546
    Threads
    155
    Rep Power
    112
    Rep Ratio
    70
    Likes Ratio
    85

    Re: Islamic Version of Confession

    format_quote Originally Posted by hisnameiszzz View Post
    ...or just say "pray your 5 a day".
    Do you pray your 5 salaat everyday?
    | Likes eesa the kiwi liked this post
    Islamic Version of Mentoring

    15noje9 1 - Islamic Version of Mentoring
    chat Quote

  8. #6
    hisnameiszzz's Avatar Full Member
    brightness_1
    IB Senior Member
    star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    Location
    Up North, UK
    Gender
    Male
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    770
    Threads
    93
    Rep Power
    61
    Rep Ratio
    51
    Likes Ratio
    60

    Re: Islamic Version of Confession

    Hi Charisma - my friends would only tell me to go get drunk or go to a sheesha bar with them. I try and keep away from friends other than just quick hi and byes. Ps. That's my Muslim friends by the way.

    Hi Umit - I didn't mean confession as such. The only thing I have to confess is I am really struggling to care for my Mum and siblings and just a bit of guidance now and then would help. My mental health has really dropped and I just need someone to talk to. I know this particular Imam made time for someone else in my community so I tried the same.

    Hi Habib - see above. I have nothing to confess. My life revolves around caring for my family.

    Hello Scimi - long time no see. How's things? And no I didn't.
    chat Quote

  9. #7
    taha_'s Avatar Full Member
    brightness_1
    IB Oldtimer
    star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate
    Join Date
    Aug 2019
    Gender
    Male
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    1,027
    Threads
    108
    Rep Power
    29
    Rep Ratio
    16
    Likes Ratio
    38

    Re: Islamic Version of Confession

    format_quote Originally Posted by hisnameiszzz View Post
    Hi Charisma - my friends would only tell me to go get drunk or go to a sheesha bar with them. I try and keep away from friends other than just quick hi and byes. Ps. That's my Muslim friends by the way.

    Hi Umit - I didn't mean confession as such. The only thing I have to confess is I am really struggling to care for my Mum and siblings and just a bit of guidance now and then would help. My mental health has really dropped and I just need someone to talk to. I know this particular Imam made time for someone else in my community so I tried the same.

    Hi Habib - see above. I have nothing to confess. My life revolves around caring for my family.

    Hello Scimi - long time no see. How's things? And no I didn't.
    Assalam o alaikum rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu

    Missing prayers is grave sin. You must repent to Allah for that and never do it again. On day of judgement we will be questioned about our prayers. Allah knows best

    JazakAllah khair
    | Likes hisnameiszzz liked this post
    Islamic Version of Mentoring

    chat Quote

  10. #8
    *charisma*'s Avatar Super Moderator
    brightness_1
    #AlwaysInMyDuas
    star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    I am a traveler, May Jannah be my home ameen
    Gender
    Female
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    5,085
    Threads
    200
    Rep Power
    146
    Rep Ratio
    102
    Likes Ratio
    61

    Re: Islamic Version of Confession

    format_quote Originally Posted by hisnameiszzz View Post
    Hi Charisma - my friends would only tell me to go get drunk or go to a sheesha bar with them. I try and keep away from friends other than just quick hi and byes. Ps. That's my Muslim friends by the way.
    That is why I said a good group of friends, or just one really good friend. If you have friends who aren't following Islam properly, then find better people to spend your time with. You can also ask for advice here.

    As for prayers, you can literally cry your heart out on the prayer mat. There's no one else who will understand your pains and struggles better than Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. You've got to have better trust in letting Him take care of your affairs rather than a mere human. I understand the need to have someone to vent to, but always start with how you can make your iman better for the One who holds all of your relief.
    | Likes hisnameiszzz liked this post
    Islamic Version of Mentoring

    D e a t h

    is the easiest
    of all things after it
    ; ;

    the hardest
    of all things before it
    chat Quote

  11. #9
    hisnameiszzz's Avatar Full Member
    brightness_1
    IB Senior Member
    star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    Location
    Up North, UK
    Gender
    Male
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    770
    Threads
    93
    Rep Power
    61
    Rep Ratio
    51
    Likes Ratio
    60

    Re: Islamic Version of Confession

    format_quote Originally Posted by *charisma* View Post
    That is why I said a good group of friends, or just one really good friend. If you have friends who aren't following Islam properly, then find better people to spend your time with. You can also ask for advice here.

    As for prayers, you can literally cry your heart out on the prayer mat. There's no one else who will understand your pains and struggles better than Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. You've got to have better trust in letting Him take care of your affairs rather than a mere human. I understand the need to have someone to vent to, but always start with how you can make your iman better for the One who holds all of your relief.
    That's the issue. When my faith was rocked a few years ago, I ended up in limbo and still am there.

    It was only via a sermon my Mum made me listen to (well she didn't tie me to the front room and have a gun in her hand!) that I thought I may have got it all wrong in my head. I'm still sleep deprived but now Mum is in really bad health so the mind boggles and I end up thinking all kinds of things. I know it's wrong to think all the time but it's hard not to and when there is no one you can relay it to, you do end up going a bit mental, well I do anyway.

    Instead of confession, I probably should have said mentoring or befriending service. Don't get me wrong, I do have friends but most would want me to do things I have no intention of doing to get rid of the problem short term. I don't know if you know where I am coming from, it's hard to express things in text.
    chat Quote

  12. Report bad ads?
  13. #10
    *charisma*'s Avatar Super Moderator
    brightness_1
    #AlwaysInMyDuas
    star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    I am a traveler, May Jannah be my home ameen
    Gender
    Female
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    5,085
    Threads
    200
    Rep Power
    146
    Rep Ratio
    102
    Likes Ratio
    61

    Re: Islamic Version of Confession

    format_quote Originally Posted by hisnameiszzz View Post
    That's the issue. When my faith was rocked a few years ago, I ended up in limbo and still am there.

    It was only via a sermon my Mum made me listen to (well she didn't tie me to the front room and have a gun in her hand!) that I thought I may have got it all wrong in my head. I'm still sleep deprived but now Mum is in really bad health so the mind boggles and I end up thinking all kinds of things. I know it's wrong to think all the time but it's hard not to and when there is no one you can relay it to, you do end up going a bit mental, well I do anyway.

    Instead of confession, I probably should have said mentoring or befriending service. Don't get me wrong, I do have friends but most would want me to do things I have no intention of doing to get rid of the problem short term. I don't know if you know where I am coming from, it's hard to express things in text.
    Well, I think there are things we have to realize in life. The first is that every problem has an expiration date, but even when one problem ends, another will begin. Our health, wealth, power, etc deteriorate or get lost suddenly. Everyone goes through this. It's how we handle and navigate the problems that makes all the difference. If you do the same things over and over again, don't expect different results. What I mean by that is, your worrying and stress about the problem will not alleviate the problem. Worry and stress are only there to push us to do something about it ie. flight/fight response. If you cannot do anything about it, then you have to let go of the worry and stress. Problems can sometimes become our new norm and will remain with us until death, eg. illness. You have to make the best with what you have because this is the test of life, and at the end of it, we will meet Allah inshallah. What will you have at that time to meet Him with? Imagine you had a perfect life, the day you meet with Allah you'd have nothing to show for it. No good deeds because it was so easy. But with a difficult life we can prove our value. We can meet with Allah and say "Oh allah I faced this affliction and instead of handling it this way like I wanted to, for Your Sake, I did it this way instead!"

    I understand how you feel, to think all of the time, and yes it does drive you crazy. It creates an insomniac out of you. But your faith has to grow to get over it. This might sound crazy to say as well, but a when we are in that mindset, the worse hasn't happened yet even though we are feeling our worst. When you truly hit rock bottom you will never want to be there, you will do everything to climb out no matter how hard it is. But this overthinking and worrying..it doesn't do anything. You're just suspended in the air. It can't prepare you for what's to come. It's exactly like flinching before getting hit. You know you're going to get hit but you're letting yourself flinch a thousand times over even though there's no sign of the hit yet. We have to prepare our bodies for the hit instead of weakly flinching before it arrives. I don't really know how to put it any other way. I guess it's not until we look back at life that we understand.
    | Likes AabiruSabeel liked this post
    Islamic Version of Mentoring

    D e a t h

    is the easiest
    of all things after it
    ; ;

    the hardest
    of all things before it
    chat Quote


  14. Hide
Hey there! Islamic Version of Mentoring Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.

When you create an account, we remember exactly what you've read, so you always come right back where you left off. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and share your thoughts. Islamic Version of Mentoring
Sign Up

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 11
    Last Post: 07-05-2016, 02:40 PM
  2. A Confession:
    By NL. in forum Clarifications about Islam
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 06-03-2013, 04:28 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
create